What do Women Want?

[melyxa]

This woman wants answers.

How do you define "femininity"?  What does it mean to be "feminine"?  Is Feminine the same as Female?  Are either (or both) the same as womanly?  If you identify as female, what makes you feel feminine?

Thanks in advance for your answers (and indulgence).  More musings on this subject to follow.

Comments

[stan_42_]

Would you accept observations from the 'other side' of this question? Or is that another topic altogether?

[melyxa]

If by other side you mean men, Absolutely! In fact I request it, and particularly from you. :)

If by other side you mean "What is masuline?" then in largely depends on whether that ends up being the only subject that gets discussed....at this stage, it seems a kind of yin/yang thing. No pun intended but, to represent balance (or is that a balancing act?). I say this feeling that this would be perhaps very illuminating because, while I am currently exploring/questioning/doubting (depending on the day) the nature and quality of my own femininity, even when in full on doubt-mode I do not feel particularly masculine.

You know, this leads me to thinking: we have this word "emasculated," but nothing even remotely similar to convey any permutation of the same or similar feelings or conditions in the feminine. Why is that do you think? And what on earth could such a word be? princevasya has suggested "efeminizing" or "defeminization" and I am brought to mind of TLC's quite potent "UnPretty."

[dalmatica_78]

Well to me as a woman, I feel the ultimate symbol of being feminine is the gift of bearing children. In essence to me, whilst with child I felt my most feminine, and it is sort of like having one foot in each of the worlds. Hmm..does this make sense I wonder?

[shannontabbycat]

Bearing a child may make you biologically a woman, but does that really constitute femininity, and if so, are women who can no longer or never could bear children any less feminine for the lack of a few moving parts?

I believe there is a difference between biologically being a woman and being feminine. One can at least be based on genetics/chromosomes. The other appears to be a subjective state based on personal beliefs as impacted by the general culture (whether positively or negatively).

[dalmatica_78]

I see your point, yes :) This is all a learning experience for me I suppose! I am more than happy to hear other thoughts on being feminine.

I have always felt feminine as long as I remember, I guess I am just girly, lol

[melyxa]

"I have always felt feminine..."

But what does that *mean*?

"I guess I am just girly"

So, what is "girly?"

[sashajwolf]

Female is a body configuration. Femininity is a collection of roles, responses and attributes that are culturally associated with that body configuration. Womanliness is a subset of femininity, which contrasts with other subsets, such as girliness. I feel feminine whenever I engage with any of the roles, responses and attributes that make up femininity and do so as "me" rather than as "other".

[melyxa]

I agree with your distinctions but I guess I was unclear in requesting something a little more expository (grin). Could you elaborate a little on those "roles, responses and attributes," both what they are and how you feel when engaging in them?

[waimeawahine]

Hmmm... I'll have to think about this a bit. I'll try to get back to you in a reasonable amount of time, but make no promises.

[melyxa]

I appreciate that.

[spiralsongkat]

Hmmm. Good question. I think I feel most feminine when I am nurturing others, when I am giving priority to people's emotions, and when I am focusing on beauty -- not "prettiness", necessarily, by any means, but aesthetic richness.

Still, men do all of these things, and are they being "feminine" when they do? Slippery topic.