3. I just wanna be with you!
♥ THE RANDOM FLUFF MEME ♥
Because everyone needs some random fluff in their lives sometimes! Whether you just need cheering up or you're just having fun in company you love to be in, let the fluffy, sweet times roll!
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Because everyone needs some random fluff in their lives sometimes! Whether you just need cheering up or you're just having fun in company you love to be in, let the fluffy, sweet times roll!
( Read more... )
and she has to confess she really likes them. )
Tomoe Mami.
( Do the creep. )
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literally.]
....yes, Akemi-san?
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She stands there awkwardly, weight shifting from foot to foot, avoiding eye contact. Her HEART IS BEATING LOUD. )
I thought we could try again. ( She swallows a lump in her throat. ) To be allies. ( It's not what she means, but it's a start. )
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I....suppose that could be possible. But tell me, what brought this on? This is a pretty sudden change of heart, coming from you.
[it's a very nice, if deeply suspicious, surprise]
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She still can't look at Mami, so she looks at everything around her, and sees her in the negative space instead. Everywhere she looks, it seems Mami is there. And not just because Homura's a stalker okok. It's because she has all these feelings, feelings about Mami, and everything she thinks leads back to the older girl. )
I... ( She hesitates, the words catch. How can she explain that, as torturous as it is to be near this Mami who is so wary of her, it's so much worse to be apart?
Maybe it's as simple as that. ) I want to be with you... Mami-san.
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This is a test, because Mami can't trust anyone easily and Homura even less so. She will push, and listen, and judge the truth of this sentiment for herself.]
....look at me.
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When Mami takes her hand, tells her to look at her, Homura's heart nearly ceases to beat at all. It's as if time has stopped, not by her own power, but by some outside force. If only it could stay stopped forever.
For all the watching she has done, for all the looking, Homura finds it nearly impossible to look at Mami now. She's afraid what she'll see in those shining gold eyes, and more afraid of what her own might show. But after so long spent resisting, her resolve crumbles, and her gaze slowly, inexorably finds its way to Mami's.
The contact is electric, and time seems to start again. Homura's eyes fill, her throat too tight for words to force themselves through. )
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Because as comfortable as it would be for her to deny it, Homura isn't lying. Mami's too familiar with deceit to be able to mistake it's existence in those deep eyes.
In a way, it isn't fair for Homura to up and change the dynamic like this. Mami can feel her confidence leaving her and a swarm of butterflies filling her stomach. She's suddenly uneasy, unsure, like she was walking on eggshells.]
-So you meant it.
[Her eyes close in a tired way and her grip slackens, but Mami doesn't let go. She doesn't want to- she never wanted to.]
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She's tired, so tired, and all this time passing just wears her down, strips away her humanity. But with Mami here, holding her hand, not letting go... Homura feels a little like a person again. Like that girl she used to be isn't so far away.
Her gaze drops to the ground again, long hair falling forward to shadow her eyes. ) Yes, I --
( Words fail her. She lifts her hand, curls her fingers over Mami's. She squeezes tightly, convulsively, communicating what she cannot say. )
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But she knows better than to try that. For now, this will have to be enough; the warmth of Homura's hands will have to suffice in place of words. Mami squeezes back, once.]
....then it's all right. You don't have to say anything more, if you'd rather not.
[And she smiles, weakly and thus honestly.]
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But here she is, squeezing her hands, telling her it's all right. For a moment, Homura believes her, really believes in a way she hasn't in what seems like ages. And that belief, it makes her brave. All her fears and doubts fade away in the face of it, her hope magnified a hundredfold. She feels like she's flying.
Homura looks up, gaze steady, searching, eyes bright with unshed tears. She takes a breath. )
I love you, Mami-san. ( She doesn't know why, only that the truth of it has been growing inside her, insistent and painful, and that the relief of saying it is almost overwhelming. But still, she knows Mami better than he once-mentor realizes, knows that such a confession is likely to shatter the fragile domes of glass they've tried to use as shields against the world ( ... )
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And then she freezes there, in mid-reach, heart leaping up to fill her throat. Her gold eyes are wide and vulnerable.
There's no way Homura said that.]
I- come again?
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She knows Mami heard her, knows too that it will take time for it to process, to dig past the layers of protection Mami has wrapped herself in like a cocoon to ward off the hurt.
Homura tilts her head to the side, watching, but her eyes are far kinder than this Mami has ever seen them. )
It must be odd. ( Of course it is. Only days ago their interactions were rife with disappointment, all thinly-veiled threats and forced misunderstandings. Homura can feel the sting of Mami's words even now, for all that she's numbed herself to them. ) I'm a stranger to you. ( To Mami and herself both, now. Each repetition has led her further away. She is grasping onto ( ... )
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Because those words cut cleanly through her walls, like they never existed in the first place and her heart was always such a pathetically easy target. Worse yet- in doing so, they press Mami's face against the true reality of her lonely existence, the extent of her self-isolation, and then rub her nose in it. She's partly to blame for this rift, too, this invisible line drawn between them, and now....well. All things have a price.
She learned that firsthand when she was bleeding out her life in the wreckage of her parents' car. Now the lesson is drummed home again.]
It....doesn't have to stay that way. People change.
[A tremor in her own voice, the ( ... )
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Like now.
When Mami looks at her like that, no amount of willpower in the world can force Homura to stay still. She moves forward before she even realizes it, throws her arms around Mami's neck and pulls her close. Once, she might have done this with Madoka, but countless repetitions have built the other girl up close to sainthood in her mind, and Homura has fallen much too far to be worthy of her now. But Mami, Mami is more like her than she can know, and Homura finds solace, finds hope in their shared suffering. She has to believe that they can take hold of this common ground, and out of it grow a way to save their world.
She clutches at Mami like a child, now, tears finally falling. ) People ( ... )
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No, no, Mami can't bear the thought. So she hugs Homura back, arms wrapped lower but just as tightly.
It's just like some of the dreams she's had, where she awoke not sweaty and trembling from fear but with an ache all the same from trying to hold emptiness. With no one to look at but her blank ceiling, the sound of silence filling her ears and mind, her bed and heart so cold. And now she's holding Homura, her mouth nestled close to the other girl's ear- Homura's scent and warmth and being are flooding all of Mami's senses. It's a delirious feeling, one like she's never known; and oh, how she hungers ( ... )
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