He's no idiot - he knows exactly what's happening. A few months of retrospect will do that for you; he's some odd anomaly, a carrier or a prototype or something, and now that the world is changing around him it was really kind of foolish to hope that his own little universe would stay unchanged. After all, everything else is warping around them - Vriska's remains are in the basement, burnt and buried as per her wishes. (She'd bet that wouldn't have the decency to do it himself. He'd thought it had nothing to do with being decent - he'd rather die again than let someone else take the one kill he'd been promised. Turns out a shotgun was just enough for whatever gods were watching.) Sollux is - god, he couldn't kill Sollux, of course he couldn't. The mindless bastard's probably still munching on Karkat's body, right where they left him. And Bro's nowhere to be found, same as always
( ... )
[ She's holding it down better than any of the others were able to, and Dave doesn't even bother trying to hide that little tiny glimmer of hope. Worst case, hey, it's crushed ruthlessly. What can you do? It's better than the alternative. He doesn't move from his position, squeezing her hand tightly before responding. ]
I'm cool with all that. Kind of figured you ate them, anyway - what kind of retard buys rainbow magnets and doesn't expect an alien to eat them all?
[ A weak, hollow little laugh. Being cool's tough when it's this cold, when one of the only people you really have left right now is fading away in front of you.
so why bother?
let the sick fires die out. it's not like he's got anything left to lose. ]
You did the same thing for me back when I died.
[ he reaches forward, combing her hair out of her face (if she's retching, he doesn't want her to get her hair all messed up. it's a stupid worry, but it's the best way of keeping her clean he can think of) and speaking as softly as he can. his eyes are raw and scared.
( ... )
[She wants to argue with him -- no, it's not the same -- but she can't find the words. Her voice was shot straight to hell after that miniature speech of hers; she can taste blood in her mouth and running wetly down her throat, along with the bile and everything else she's thrown up (throwing up) that burns her raw.
Dave is brushing the hair out of her face with that look on his face and for some reason it's that simple gesture that finally breaks the dam. Teal leaks from her ruined eyes and down her cheeks and she is sure this is the worst combo ever: cold and crying while coughing and retching up her guts.
She tries to think. Has he ever told her? Surely there's been some moment when they've been honest with each other, but she can't remember right now.
But even if she's already heard it before, she wouldn't mind hearing it again right now.]
[ fuck everything, she's crying. he's pretty sure he'd be crying too, if his tear ducts really worked anymore. so instead, he just sits there, holding the hair out of her eyes as she pukes up muted little greys he'd really rather never see again. his free hand goes up to the back of her head, stroking and petting and generally doing everything in his power to make this ordeal a little less awful.
after a few moments of silence: ]
...fuck, I don't even really know how to say it. [ he scratches lightly at the back of her neck, thankful for a brief moment that he can't smell whatever it is she's purging from her body, and tries to go on. ] It's like - I'm cool with being undead as long you're around, because it means I get to see you. Fuck if that doesn't sound dumb as all hell, but it's true. Your dumbass pointy grin is what keeps me going all day long.
[ a pause for a breath, and he just charges on-And all night, too. Honestly? Thought I was going to go apeshit for the first seven days without sleep. Watching you sleep made it a
( ... )
[Her whole world shrinks down to the overwhelming need to get it out get it out get it out and Dave's comforting hands at her back, but she clings to his words (I pity you, too) and she holds on.
She holds on.
She rides it out for as long as she can, clawing for air and purging herself of everything black and dead inside her, and just when she think she can't take it anymore and just wants this to stopit does
( ... )
[ he doesn't move, doesn't breathe or exhale or anything for those awful minutes. it's only when it's all over with, when she's puked out everything left in her and when all her life is gone, when she's just another patch of muted greys and greenish-blue and red in his vision, that he draws his hand back.
he waits for some sign of intelligence for agonizing second after agonizing second, some sign of sentience on her end, and when she shows it it's all he can do to not kiss her right there and then. (yhat should wait until she's all- taken care of, drained and dried and dissected properly.) he doesn't have to decaptchalogue his sword. he doesn't have to burn another body. she's still here.
if he were an overly sentimental goob, this is the part where he'd think to himself, it's not much, but it's everything he could ask for. but it is something big, is the thing. she's still here. she's not trying to open up john's skull, and even though she's still coughing up some of the remnants she's talking to him, and- and
( ... )
[this doesn't make any sense. she's watched too many people change to know this isn't how it's supposed to go. why is she still thinking and feeling when so many others lost their minds?
she holds him close, hiding her face against his shoulder. she's still shaking, cold and a little freaked out and scared. she just died. she wasn't like vriska -- she couldn't face her own death, couldn't hit god tier, couldn't even ask someone to put her down before she turned and went feral.
not that she's complaining about that last bit now.]
You sure? I cannot be tamed, coolkid. Shit's gonna get expensive after a while, the way I go off the rails.
[ he wouldn't be able to answer that, terezi. but he's sure as hell not complaining. as fucked up as everything is, this is the closest thing to a happy ending he'd be able to find. ]
Well, fuck, you throw anything too whacko out and I'll just set up an apology tour or something. People love seeing psychos on the air.
[ he pulls back, kissing her (and he's shaking a little as he does so, he's so freaked out and relieved and happy) on the forehead, and when he pulls back he manages- ]
We should- get you to the medbay. Pretty sure the bots are still up.
[ A look around the floor. ]
...should probably quarantine this place off while we're at it.
You'll just take care of it? Well, shit. You're practically giving me permission to get my hellmurder gallows humor act on around the wrigglers. Who cares if they're traumatized for life after my special guest star appearance on The Adventures of Squiddles and Friends? Apology tour!
[she's still not entirely comfortable with the idea of going to the medbay, even months after zone 07 and the last time she took dave there. there's a part of her that wants to ask why harley just can't get her taxidermy on, but she knows those stupid robots who give them far too much body language sass is her best bet.
she wants to kiss back, but her mouth still feels too gross, so she settles for continuing to be the recipient for all this attention. she lets go and staggers to her feet, and when she takes a sniff around the room, she makes a face.]
Shit, Terezi, do you think I give a flying fuck if you're messy right now?
[ she doesn't have that glow anymore, she's not as colorful or wonderfully full-bodied and meaty, but - but all that's okay. she's still here. every other problem pales in comparison. ]
Come on. Let's get out of this place. [ An awkward pause, and in the worst attempt at casual reassurance- ] Going outside's not really a problem anymore, just fyi.
she was dying, she couldn't help it, but it's still really disgusting, smelling the contents of her stomach upended all over the floor like that.
his attempt at reassurance is not reassuring, and somehow that simple little statement makes everything hit home harder somehow. she doesn't have to worry about being eaten anymore or leading the zombies back to the apartment when she goes out or a hundred other little fears she's adjusted into her everyday life. they don't care about her anymore, because now she's like them.
making their way through the house is nerve wracking in a way she never thought possible. she doesn't want to run into anyone; it's completely irrational, but she almost feels convinced they'll see it on her somehow, in the unsteadiness of her gait and how hard she holds on to Dave and leans on her cane, in whatever mess still covers her, in the way she'll sniff at the warmth and life and meat in them. ]
[ john is watching television, he can see his life bleeding through the walls, and jade is upstairs at the window, and that means that there's nobody around to watch them abscond. dave unlocks the deadbolt, slipping out with terezi still held close, and as the door automatically locks behind him he has the decency to call up to the sniper: ]
Supply run, chica. Be back later.
[ and with that, he ducks into the back alleyways. the sense of a decaying world only intensifies back there - a body here, bloodstains there, and when they pass their first mindless one dave holds terezi tight to him. it passes by them without a trace of interest.
this is the world they live in now.
doors, zombies, humans - not a single thing acknowledges their existence until they reach the medbay. ]
[she's uncharacteristically silent as they ghost their way to the hospital, fingers interlaced with his and squeezing tight. sacrosanct had always been a quiet, dead thing, too few people spread out over too many zones, but it had never really been a literal description until now
( ... )
[ her hand in his is the only reason he knows she's there. without her lifeblood lighting up the station, it's bizarre - he can tell where things are, he can see the shapes that make each little thing, but it's all just- formless. grey. a nameless, useless mass.
little tiny flares of gold flash through his vision - still living people in the zone? yes, that has to be it - and dave ignores them. right now, terezi needs to be preserved.
as they walk into the medbay, terezi clears her throat and waves, and after a few moments a rather jaded bot rolls its way over. dave knows without even looking it's the same one, because fuck you, the universe hates us both obviously. he points to terezi, and dave swears to god the bot rolls its nonexistent eyes at this point.
still, after a pithy little remark on how unexpected a repeat post-mortem visit was, it rolls away to prepare the room. dave squeezes terezi's hand, not looking directly at her as he asks- ]
terezi knows she really shouldn't be as surprised as she is right now, but she makes a face anyway and rolls her own eyes at the thing's comment. not that anyone can tell, of course, but it's the thought that counts.
she takes a moment to consider dave's offer. it would be nice having someone there with her who knew what she would be going through and could talk her through it, but--]
I don't know, Dave. How okay are you with getting a face full of alien wing-wong?
[ he snorts, turning the slightest bit her way and waggling his eyebrows suggestively. it doesn't quite work - his eyes aren't the slightest bit playful, just tired and sad and a little bit relieved and tired- but it's a fair try. ]
Think you're making the assumption that I don't get trollwang up in my business on a regular basis. Fuck, you call this a faceful? I call it an average Tuesday.
[ he walks at her side, all the way to the indicated room, before stopping. awkwardly, haltingly- ]
...look, I'm not trying to score a free peek here or anything. Our mutual robro in there's going to be cutting you open - fuck if I want to see that, now or ever. Just...
[ he's looking everywhere but her, off to the side and down to the floor and even turning a bit away. finally, a helpless little shrug. ]
Your call. Swear I won't go for peeksies if you want me in there.
He's no idiot - he knows exactly what's happening. A few months of retrospect will do that for you; he's some odd anomaly, a carrier or a prototype or something, and now that the world is changing around him it was really kind of foolish to hope that his own little universe would stay unchanged. After all, everything else is warping around them - Vriska's remains are in the basement, burnt and buried as per her wishes. (She'd bet that wouldn't have the decency to do it himself. He'd thought it had nothing to do with being decent - he'd rather die again than let someone else take the one kill he'd been promised. Turns out a shotgun was just enough for whatever gods were watching.) Sollux is - god, he couldn't kill Sollux, of course he couldn't. The mindless bastard's probably still munching on Karkat's body, right where they left him. And Bro's nowhere to be found, same as always ( ... )
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I'm cool with all that. Kind of figured you ate them, anyway - what kind of retard buys rainbow magnets and doesn't expect an alien to eat them all?
[ A weak, hollow little laugh. Being cool's tough when it's this cold, when one of the only people you really have left right now is fading away in front of you.
so why bother?
let the sick fires die out. it's not like he's got anything left to lose. ]
You did the same thing for me back when I died.
[ he reaches forward, combing her hair out of her face (if she's retching, he doesn't want her to get her hair all messed up. it's a stupid worry, but it's the best way of keeping her clean he can think of) and speaking as softly as he can. his eyes are raw and scared. ( ... )
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Dave is brushing the hair out of her face with that look on his face and for some reason it's that simple gesture that finally breaks the dam. Teal leaks from her ruined eyes and down her cheeks and she is sure this is the worst combo ever: cold and crying while coughing and retching up her guts.
She tries to think. Has he ever told her? Surely there's been some moment when they've been honest with each other, but she can't remember right now.
But even if she's already heard it before, she wouldn't mind hearing it again right now.]
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after a few moments of silence: ]
...fuck, I don't even really know how to say it. [ he scratches lightly at the back of her neck, thankful for a brief moment that he can't smell whatever it is she's purging from her body, and tries to go on. ] It's like - I'm cool with being undead as long you're around, because it means I get to see you. Fuck if that doesn't sound dumb as all hell, but it's true. Your dumbass pointy grin is what keeps me going all day long.
[ a pause for a breath, and he just charges on-And all night, too. Honestly? Thought I was going to go apeshit for the first seven days without sleep. Watching you sleep made it a ( ... )
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and she holds on.
She holds on.
She rides it out for as long as she can, clawing for air and purging herself of everything black and dead inside her, and just when she think she can't take it anymore and just wants this to stopit does ( ... )
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he waits for some sign of intelligence for agonizing second after agonizing second, some sign of sentience on her end, and when she shows it it's all he can do to not kiss her right there and then. (yhat should wait until she's all- taken care of, drained and dried and dissected properly.) he doesn't have to decaptchalogue his sword. he doesn't have to burn another body. she's still here.
if he were an overly sentimental goob, this is the part where he'd think to himself, it's not much, but it's everything he could ask for. but it is something big, is the thing. she's still here. she's not trying to open up john's skull, and even though she's still coughing up some of the remnants she's talking to him, and- and ( ... )
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she holds him close, hiding her face against his shoulder. she's still shaking, cold and a little freaked out and scared. she just died. she wasn't like vriska -- she couldn't face her own death, couldn't hit god tier, couldn't even ask someone to put her down before she turned and went feral.
not that she's complaining about that last bit now.]
You sure? I cannot be tamed, coolkid. Shit's gonna get expensive after a while, the way I go off the rails.
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Well, fuck, you throw anything too whacko out and I'll just set up an apology tour or something. People love seeing psychos on the air.
[ he pulls back, kissing her (and he's shaking a little as he does so, he's so freaked out and relieved and happy) on the forehead, and when he pulls back he manages- ]
We should- get you to the medbay. Pretty sure the bots are still up.
[ A look around the floor. ]
...should probably quarantine this place off while we're at it.
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[she's still not entirely comfortable with the idea of going to the medbay, even months after zone 07 and the last time she took dave there. there's a part of her that wants to ask why harley just can't get her taxidermy on, but she knows those stupid robots who give them far too much body language sass is her best bet.
she wants to kiss back, but her mouth still feels too gross, so she settles for continuing to be the recipient for all this attention. she lets go and staggers to her feet, and when she takes a sniff around the room, she makes a face.]
...Sorry about the mess.
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[ she doesn't have that glow anymore, she's not as colorful or wonderfully full-bodied and meaty, but - but all that's okay. she's still here. every other problem pales in comparison. ]
Come on. Let's get out of this place. [ An awkward pause, and in the worst attempt at casual reassurance- ] Going outside's not really a problem anymore, just fyi.
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[no she wasn't.
she was dying, she couldn't help it, but it's still really disgusting, smelling the contents of her stomach upended all over the floor like that.
his attempt at reassurance is not reassuring, and somehow that simple little statement makes everything hit home harder somehow. she doesn't have to worry about being eaten anymore or leading the zombies back to the apartment when she goes out or a hundred other little fears she's adjusted into her everyday life. they don't care about her anymore, because now she's like them.
making their way through the house is nerve wracking in a way she never thought possible. she doesn't want to run into anyone; it's completely irrational, but she almost feels convinced they'll see it on her somehow, in the unsteadiness of her gait and how hard she holds on to Dave and leans on her cane, in whatever mess still covers her, in the way she'll sniff at the warmth and life and meat in them. ]
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[ john is watching television, he can see his life bleeding through the walls, and jade is upstairs at the window, and that means that there's nobody around to watch them abscond. dave unlocks the deadbolt, slipping out with terezi still held close, and as the door automatically locks behind him he has the decency to call up to the sniper: ]
Supply run, chica. Be back later.
[ and with that, he ducks into the back alleyways. the sense of a decaying world only intensifies back there - a body here, bloodstains there, and when they pass their first mindless one dave holds terezi tight to him. it passes by them without a trace of interest.
this is the world they live in now.
doors, zombies, humans - not a single thing acknowledges their existence until they reach the medbay. ]
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little tiny flares of gold flash through his vision - still living people in the zone? yes, that has to be it - and dave ignores them. right now, terezi needs to be preserved.
as they walk into the medbay, terezi clears her throat and waves, and after a few moments a rather jaded bot rolls its way over. dave knows without even looking it's the same one, because fuck you, the universe hates us both obviously. he points to terezi, and dave swears to god the bot rolls its nonexistent eyes at this point.
still, after a pithy little remark on how unexpected a repeat post-mortem visit was, it rolls away to prepare the room. dave squeezes terezi's hand, not looking directly at her as he asks- ]
Want me in there with you?
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that's the same fucking robot
terezi knows she really shouldn't be as surprised as she is right now, but she makes a face anyway and rolls her own eyes at the thing's comment. not that anyone can tell, of course, but it's the thought that counts.
she takes a moment to consider dave's offer. it would be nice having someone there with her who knew what she would be going through and could talk her through it, but--]
I don't know, Dave. How okay are you with getting a face full of alien wing-wong?
[please don't look dave she's gonna be naked]
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Think you're making the assumption that I don't get trollwang up in my business on a regular basis. Fuck, you call this a faceful? I call it an average Tuesday.
[ he walks at her side, all the way to the indicated room, before stopping. awkwardly, haltingly- ]
...look, I'm not trying to score a free peek here or anything. Our mutual robro in there's going to be cutting you open - fuck if I want to see that, now or ever. Just...
[ he's looking everywhere but her, off to the side and down to the floor and even turning a bit away. finally, a helpless little shrug. ]
Your call. Swear I won't go for peeksies if you want me in there.
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