are we terrible people? yes, we are.gurielFebruary 19 2012, 02:49:50 UTC
[Guriel hates this place. He hates this place and the people in it and the fact that the son of a bitch running the show wears Guriel's binding ring on his right hand, right where everyone can see it and admire him for having such a princely inheritance
( ... )
[Ben looks at the angel from under his arm. He's been peripherally aware of him, just another partner in misery, and you bet your ass Ben's heard him screaming in the throes of Hellfire, more than once, when he's displeased to fucker who owns him.
Tears streak the gore all over Ben's face, but he's beyond wiping them away anymore.] Children. They're making me kill children.
And I can't. I can't do this anymore.
[He flexes his hand, and those horrible claws pop out.] And if they won't let me die...
Don't. [Guriel's voice is thick with contempt and weariness, and a part of him knows what he's gathering up, no matter how hard he doesn't think about it he knows, and he hates that he's been brought to this. Would they have had Guardians, if the world hadn't gone so wrong, would Guri himself have been one of them?
Don't think about it. Hide it, hide it under hate and apathy and sarcasm but don't, for the love of God don't think about it.]
It won't work. They'll just make it worse on you for trying.
[Ben waves the clawed hand around the cage, taking in the bloodied remains of the child they tossed in with him last night.] Worse. How. How can they possibly make it fuckin' worse.
[Guriel flinches, hunches into himself like he's been struck, glancing fearfully in the direction of the human guards who thankfully don't seem to have noticed him talking. He's sure talking to the prisoner is just as forbidden as talking to them or to himself.]
Do you have any fucking clue what they'll do to me if I do that?
[Of course he doesn't, of course he wouldn't care even if he knew. He's a human, he just wants to use Guriel for his own means. Just like all the rest of them.]
[And Ben flinches and lowers the clawed hand, letting it fall with a thump to the floor. He turns his face to the wall.] Sorry. I'm sorry. Of course you can't--
I'm sorry. I'll wait until you're out so you don't get in trouble.
[Guriel goes cold all over, his every muscle tensing, and he draws his wings in tight. The humans keep squabbling over whatever it is they're discussing, not looking at the cage or the angel or the prisoner.
Guriel's voice is thick with bitterness.]
You don't have to try and pretend to make friends. I'm still not going to do it.
[He remembers the last time he crossed his Master -- not just fumbled an order or didn't move fast enough or was in the wrong place, wrong time, but actively did something that made the man angry with him.
[Ben barks out a quiet, bitter sound that only a psychopath would mistake for a laugh.] Friends? I don't want to be friends with anyone in this place. [He glances down at his still-clawed hand.] I'm not going to live long enough to make friends. I'm gonna rip these claws through my throat and let them try to fix that. Because fuck them, I'm not gonna be turned into a weapon against my own people. [He doesn't even know if it'll work.
It won't work. [And if the words sound tired and bitter and weary in a way that suggests he knows from experience, well.
He eyes the guards. He's got no illusions that he can curry favor with them -- they despise him more than they do the American, and when there's no prisoners to torment they turn on Guriel. His Master doesn't discourage them. And the American is the last of the prisoners.]
I don't. [Ben shakes his head and turns his face into the wall again.] But I've seen how you look at them. And how they look at you. If you've got a way of sticking it to them, you will. And a prisoner escaping, even if he just escapes into death...
That would stick it to them. [The hyper-awareness of a prisoner. Ben's got it too.]
[Guriel shivers. It's true, it's the way an angel would think, it's . . .
It's just a ploy to get him on the human's side. To get him to help give the human what he wants. And after that? It's back to Guriel and a cave full of bored, angry sadists who'll know he had something to do with their prisoner getting away.
He can't risk it. It isn't worth it. It'll be worse than last time.
But he doesn't get the chance to say anything, because his Master chooses that moment to come into the room, and he is clearly pissed, shouting at his subordinates, shoving one of them half-out of his chair, and Guriel goes cold all over, shrinking back against the back of the cage, trying to make himself small before the human notices him.
There's no way for his Master to know he's been talking to the prisoner, the guards didn't hear, didn't see, but that doesn't stop terror from twisting his insides and turning them to ice, He knows he knows everything you know you can't hide from him, not ever, he always knows he always sees . . .]
[Ben's reaction is completely involuntary -- he shoves himself to his feet and ranges himself between the insurgents and the angel. He's strong right now, and healed from the wounds he had before the moon rose last night. They shouldn't have fed him. He's half-wolfed and doesn't even realize it, snarling at them through the bars. He's running on instinct, a soldier protecting a civilian. They haven't beaten that out of him yet.]
[Guriel makes a broken sound, half-protest and half total bewilderment, what is he doing, what can he possibly hope to accomplish?
The Master's expression is coldly furious, and he advances on the cage like an oncoming storm, a giant wall of a man, raising his right fist in a clear threat to the human and Guriel both.]
What . . . wh . . . [Guriel flinches as his Master raises his voice, snarling, demanding to know what Guriel's doing and what's taking him so long.]
[Ben's chin comes up, and he snarls right back. His voice is distorted through his fangs and the changed shape of his face.] He's not doing anything wrong. Leave him alone. [He has something to do now, someone to protect.
Maybe he'll do a better job of protecting the angel than he did his comrades. He wasn't a wolf, then.]
[Guriel's mind is spinning in place, he's trying to get a grip on this situation, but mindless terror and confusion are making near-hopeless.] I don't . . . what are you . . . why . . .
[The Master's face is livid, and he digs his finger into the ring, Guriel has only a fraction of a moment to protest,] No! Please, I didn't do --
[And then the world dissolves in white agony that lasts forever.]
Again.]
Oh, God, just let me die...
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Tears streak the gore all over Ben's face, but he's beyond wiping them away anymore.] Children. They're making me kill children.
And I can't. I can't do this anymore.
[He flexes his hand, and those horrible claws pop out.] And if they won't let me die...
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Don't think about it. Hide it, hide it under hate and apathy and sarcasm but don't, for the love of God don't think about it.]
It won't work. They'll just make it worse on you for trying.
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Stand in front of me. Block their view.
...please.
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Do you have any fucking clue what they'll do to me if I do that?
[Of course he doesn't, of course he wouldn't care even if he knew. He's a human, he just wants to use Guriel for his own means. Just like all the rest of them.]
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I'm sorry. I'll wait until you're out so you don't get in trouble.
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Guriel's voice is thick with bitterness.]
You don't have to try and pretend to make friends. I'm still not going to do it.
[He remembers the last time he crossed his Master -- not just fumbled an order or didn't move fast enough or was in the wrong place, wrong time, but actively did something that made the man angry with him.
It took six weeks before he could walk again.]
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But he has to try.]
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He eyes the guards. He's got no illusions that he can curry favor with them -- they despise him more than they do the American, and when there's no prisoners to torment they turn on Guriel. His Master doesn't discourage them. And the American is the last of the prisoners.]
What makes you think I won't tell?
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That would stick it to them. [The hyper-awareness of a prisoner. Ben's got it too.]
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It's just a ploy to get him on the human's side. To get him to help give the human what he wants. And after that? It's back to Guriel and a cave full of bored, angry sadists who'll know he had something to do with their prisoner getting away.
He can't risk it. It isn't worth it. It'll be worse than last time.
But he doesn't get the chance to say anything, because his Master chooses that moment to come into the room, and he is clearly pissed, shouting at his subordinates, shoving one of them half-out of his chair, and Guriel goes cold all over, shrinking back against the back of the cage, trying to make himself small before the human notices him.
There's no way for his Master to know he's been talking to the prisoner, the guards didn't hear, didn't see, but that doesn't stop terror from twisting his insides and turning them to ice, He knows he knows everything you know you can't hide from him, not ever, he always knows he always sees . . .]
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The Master's expression is coldly furious, and he advances on the cage like an oncoming storm, a giant wall of a man, raising his right fist in a clear threat to the human and Guriel both.]
What . . . wh . . . [Guriel flinches as his Master raises his voice, snarling, demanding to know what Guriel's doing and what's taking him so long.]
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Maybe he'll do a better job of protecting the angel than he did his comrades. He wasn't a wolf, then.]
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[The Master's face is livid, and he digs his finger into the ring, Guriel has only a fraction of a moment to protest,] No! Please, I didn't do --
[And then the world dissolves in white agony that lasts forever.]
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