748. it's always darkest before dawn

[mememaker]

HURT & COMFORT RP [EXPANDED 2.0]
Hurt/Comfort - Hurt/comfort is a fan fiction genre that involves the physical pain or emotional distress of one character, who is cared for by another character. The injury, sickness or other kind of hurt allows an exploration of the characters and their relationship.

- Post with Character Name | Series in the subject

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Dean Winchester | Supernatural | open

[wherever_i_roam]

13. ADDICTION

[theangel_cas]

[Takes away the nearly-empty bottle.]

Dean.

[wherever_i_roam]

[Well, alright. That's getting a glare.] Dude, what the hell?

[theangel_cas]

[Ignores] You've had enough.

HELLO THIS IS YOUR TROLL SPEAKING.

[hellunbounded]

OOC: I got 15. Want Dean to suffer or Sam? I'm cool with Dean taking a turn XD

HEY BB! <33 And I'm cool with Dean taking a turn, yeah. xD

[wherever_i_roam]

[Apparently, the amount of whiskey he'd had before he finally went to bed hadn't been near enough to make sure his sleep was dreamless and deep. He was twisting and turning in his sleep, getting tangled up as he let out a deep, pained moan.

He could still see Cas, his body falling apart, could still see him breaking Sam with a touch of a finger and not fixing it and it stings so damn much still... every bit of betrayal and then to watch him die like that, without any resolution

<33

[hellunbounded]

[Sam isn't sleeping. He can't risk sleeping much, nowadays. There's still a chance that he won't wake up. Or will wake up in Hell. Either way, Sam refuses to leave Dean alone. He doesn't care what's real, what's not. He'll fight through it to get to his brother.]

[Sam's senses are on high alert when he hears Dean mutter, turning from his desk with the light (and ignoring Lucifer and the flames as best he can) and all but dashing over to Dean's bedside. Sam's not stupid, he knows that Dean still has nightmares, just like he knows Dean knows Sam has them, too. They've just had a sort of agreement about them, that they aren't mentioned come morning. And, hell, as much as Sam hates seeing Dean drink so much, it actually did seem to give him some peace at night as of late.]

[But he hasn't heard this in a while. Not since right after Dean got back from hell. His heart sinks at the sound of Dean's desperate mutterings, the sweat on his forehead.] Dean. Hey, bro, wake up. [He shakes him by the shoulders firmly, but not roughly.] Dean, 's

[wherever_i_roam]

[Hell memories fro years ago didn't seem nearly as crippling as the shit that kept getting dumped on them. Sometimes it was like he's never left hell--everything is taken away, everything goes to hell just as quick as they can solve one problem, and look now... Sam's crumbling and he knows it. He knows something has to be up because he'll barely sleep, he gets those spaced out, terrified looks like he's seeing horrible, awful things and he is[Bobby's gone, the last thing they had to ground them, to help them. Some days, it still seems so tempting to strap Sam in and drive the off a pier... except he's got to get revenge. Got to get to Dick and tie this up... that means he's got to deal with all this shit, has pull himself up and keep Sam going too

[hellunbounded]

[If Dean were any other human being, Sam would've at least tried to get away at having his wrist held like that - he doesn't do well with anything around his wrists nowadays - but since this is so obviously his big brother, so Dean, Sam doesn't even flinch.] It's okay, Dean. [Sam's hand moves to the back of Dean's neck, squeezing it comfortingly.]

[Lucifer makes some snide remark about spooning, but Sam just ignores him, as hard as it is. He settles down next to Dean on the bed, not asking if he's okay, because he's obviously not. He just stays like that, an arm around Dean's back - careful not to be too restricting - until Dean calms down or decides to do something.]

[wherever_i_roam]

[Maybe any other day, he'd be complaining and telling Sam to quit being such a girl, but tonight? He lets him settle in next to him, doesn't protest the arm around him.]

[He focuses and tries to slow his breathing down, leaning into his brother, eyes squeezing shut briefly.] ... You weren't asleep, huh? [Easier to focus on Sam. It's always been easier to focus on Sam than what a mess he is, especially right now.]

[hellunbounded]

[Sam notices the way Dean squeezes his eyes shut - of course he does, he's never stopped studying Dean, never stopped admiring him, not for a second since he a kid - and instead pulls him in closer, leaning his chin on top of Dean's hair. The fact that Dean isn't bitching at this point is testament to how out of it Dean is.]

I don't blame you, you know. [For Bobby dieing, for Cas dieing, for the fact that Sam is just barely holding on by a thread. Sam thinks it's total bull that Dean feels guilty at all, but he knows how his brother's mind words. He knows what the nightmare was about.]

[wherever_i_roam]

[There's a broken little noise at that. Doesn't blame him, huh? He should. He knows full and well he's being pathetic right now and he really... doesn't have the right to do it when Sam's reliving Hell, when he has Lucifer back on his shoulder for all he knows.]

[He feels his eyes sting and he covers it up with a laugh. Pathetic enough without adding tears to the mix. He refuses to do that at least.] I haven't been able to do a damn thing, Sam... everything keeps getting worse, man.

[hellunbounded]

Doesn't mean it's your fault. [He speaks seriously, not moving from his spot. He feels Dean shake a bit with his choked laugh beneath him, and Sam feels his heart squeeze. Dean's always been like this, blaming himself for shit that he shouldn't carry, but that doesn't mean it's okay in Sam's book.] Dean - I need to you listen, here, because even I have my limit of chick flick moments. But this is important.

[wherever_i_roam]

[Just like it's natural for him to carry blame, to let everything weigh on his shoulders like he should be fucking infallible... it's natural for him to want to draw back, recoil from crap like this. He starts to draw away, though it's half-hearted at best. He doesn't have the energy right now to move too far and Sam freaking takes up half the bed anyway.] Sam, can we not? [But he has no doubt Sam will power on and say whatever he needs to anyway.]

[hellunbounded]

I could be dead tomorrow, Dean. Or a Leviathan could kill me in two days. Or... [Or Sam could be locked inside his own head, a drooling mess, in Hell for the rest of his life.] I shoulda said this before we went after Lucifer, before I jumped, but - [He shifts so that Dean can see his eyes, know that he's not just saying this for Dean's benefit, but because he means it.] You've never stopped being my hero, Dean. Not for a goddamn second. Not even when I was so pissed at you I said total crap. Dean, not even the shit you did in Hell made me admire you any less. [He should have said that years ago, back before seals and trust were broken.] Fine, you're not perfect - you're even a self-righteous, self-destructive pain in my ass - but that doesn't change the fact that you're my big brother. You have to get that, Dean. You've - you've just gotta.

[wherever_i_roam]

Sam, you're not gonna die... [And he couldn't fall apart on him, not now. Not after all this, he just couldn't, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.]

[Besides, Sam got him to shut up with 'Shoulda said this before we went after Lucifer' and that gets his stomach to twist a little nervously. Big confessions rarely go so well for them.]

[But what he does say... he's not sure how to feel about it. He doesn't see anything worthy of hero worship or admiration, but he can tell Sam's being sincere. He laughs, it's light and softer than earlier and he brings a hand up to rub over his face. Never thought he'd hear Sam say that crap again, honestly. Things had changed so much, they'd changed so much...] Hey, hey. You're- the pain in the ass. [He didn't have the capacity for anything better as a come back than that.]

[Well, crap. He reaches over to put a hand lightly on the side of Sam's face, a comforting little gesture, trying to make sure he was looking at hi.] I get it, Sam, I do... You're the only thing keepin' me going, you know? If