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78. The 'Rabbit Done Died' Meme

Aug 04, 2011 18:17

The Rabbit Done Died
"The rabbit died" is an old saying meaning one is pregnant, coming from the now no longer practiced rabbit test.

Congratulations!
You're pregnant. Knocked up. Eating for two. Have a bun in the oven. Insert your own cliched phrase here. No matter how you say it, you're downright fertilized. Even if you're not typically in ( Read more... )

warning: possible triggers, rated: nc17, crack-humor

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River Song | Doctor Who | 5 songofsong August 5 2011, 12:19:42 UTC

River Song was currently deeply involved in her latest mission.

Getting up out of a chair without faceplanting.

"Oh, don't you dare help me."

2 no_longer_him August 5 2011, 13:30:20 UTC

...Alright?

songofsong August 10 2011, 19:33:06 UTC

After the third struggle, River was soon exhausted. Even muscles toned by years of adventuring weren't going to be much use now.

"Whoever the hell you are, help me," she barked.

2 apaisleygirl August 5 2011, 15:50:14 UTC

Amy was trying hard to bite back a laugh. "I'm pretty sure this is as big of a paradox as you can get."

songofsong August 10 2011, 19:23:11 UTC

"Shut up," River snapped grumpily, for one moment, suddenly appearing to be younger than her mother. She had another try at getting out of the chair, finally managing it and straightening her back with a faint grimace. When the ache settled, her expression softened into a triumphant smile. "See?"

2 onlytheblue August 5 2011, 22:12:58 UTC

He wasn't planning to. At all. Nope. He was...observing the TARDIS ceiling, oh look at that there's a light that needs replacing. "Wasn't thinking about it!"

songofsong August 10 2011, 19:30:32 UTC

River struggled with the springy TARDIS seat for a few seconds more before her thinning patience snapped. "Doctor, if you don't help me right now I'm cartwheeling you into the next black hole we pass!"

onlytheblue August 11 2011, 16:42:06 UTC

He actually startled at her outburst. He'd expected her to change her mind, but not so suddenly or violently although... "Cartwheel?" Really? How bizarre, ignoble, and...perfectly fitting, actually.

Wait she'd asked him to help her now, hadn't she?

Right.

He shoved off from the console and reached out to take her hands and help her up.

songofsong August 11 2011, 17:55:05 UTC

It was a good job he was helping her, or else River would most certainly try and act out her threat. Grabbing his hands, she tried to pull herself out of the TARDIS seat, grumbling that he was useless and would probably snap at this rate. Eventually, she got to her feet, grimacing at the pain that flared through her back. She stopped to have a breather before she glowered up at the Doctor.

onlytheblue August 11 2011, 19:17:01 UTC

...He wouldn't lie to himself, he actually might want to see her do that. It sounded completely bizarre and a little bit fascinating.

As it was, he simply returned her glower with an expectant look. "I'm going to have to get you a better chair if it's not supporting your back properly." Also the whole getting stuck thing. But he's perceptive enough not to mention that.

songofsong August 11 2011, 21:03:26 UTC

"This TARDIS is a death trap," said River, waving a hand around to signal the interior of his current TARDIS. It was aged, rickety, with far more wear and tear than the TARDIS she shared with his Eleventh incarnation. "If this is the you I'm travelling with now, you'd better be getting these corners padded. And that floor is terrible, a child is going to get his fingers caught in that!"

She then sighed to herself, wiping her hair from her face. "I suppose you already know, don't you? Our timelines, my future being your past. Did you see? When you saw me last? What the baby was?"

onlytheblue August 12 2011, 01:18:35 UTC

"Oi, this TARDIS is brilliant and comfortable! She's perfectly safe for a child." He huffed, ruffled all around at the suggestion that his TARDIS might be inferior to some other him. Or that it was inferior at all, really.

He opened his mouth to respond to those last questions of hers, before he stopped himself and pointed at her, scolding. "River Song, stop asking about your future. I'm not telling."

songofsong August 12 2011, 18:53:03 UTC

Of course, River had nothing but affection for the TARDIS, and the Doctor, but she was two weeks overdue and hated everybody.

"You could at least tell me if this baby is ever going to get out of me!" she said with some frustration, holding her round stomach.

onlytheblue August 13 2011, 11:06:08 UTC

He understood that, but he still had his TARDIS' honor to protect. Well, that and his personal vanity.

"You're not going to walk around pregnant for the rest of your life." Technically, that could be considered a minor spoiler...but only if she honestly thought she might die shortly. In which case he'd tell her anyway.

songofsong August 13 2011, 13:10:33 UTC

For all the effort it took for River to stand up, her ankles were starting to hurt again and she was wanting another sit down. Thoroughly exhausted from all this pregnancy, her mood changed from anger, to frustration, to upset. Her shoulders slumped and depending on how good he was at reading her by now, she was on the verge of tears.

onlytheblue August 14 2011, 16:22:09 UTC

Well of could he can tell, he's a friend. Friends knew when their friend was about to burst into tears. Well, unless said friend doing the observing wore bowties and had terrible hair and no observational skills.

So, naturally, instead of outright assuming what her immediate distress was about, he just pulled her into a...slightly awkward...hug. Look how good he was getting with the tact!

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