[Yuri struggled to maintain control, his loathing of Heroes warring with his much fonder feelings for Keith as a person. He'd never have married him if he didn't care for him; it was very difficult for him to allow people to get close to him. Now he had done so, and the person in question turned out to be a Hero.
There was no need to panic, he told himself. Keith suspected nothing. Perhaps he could find some way to use this situation to his advantage. Not that he wished to take advantage of Keith, but it was an opportunity. He'd used his position with the Justice Administration in the same way. He wasn't sure how to utilize his new knowledge, but he might be able to think of something.]
Of course I understand. You shouldn't be afraid. Not when it comes to me. [He put up a hand to ward off Keith and his kisses, following the gesture with another touch, stroking his cheek. He still desired Keith, but this was a dizzying revelation. He needed a minute to compose himself completely. He smiled another false smile.]Keith, I
( ... )
,small>[It was probably a good thing that Yuri put his hand up to pause him, otherwise Keith might have been more than tempted to ply him with kisses, but the reality was that they were still having a serious conversation. Sometimes his enthusiasm got the better of him, but on this particular occasion he had the presence of mind to reign it in and hear his partner and his concerns out.
It took a little bit of time for what Yuri was saying to sink in, not that he was too dense to get it, but he had to consider the possibility that his line of work was dangerous and if something happened to him how would he be able to take care of his lover.]
I can understand that…I’ve thought about it a little bit and…well the only conclusion I could come to is that this body isn’t just mine anymore, it’s also yours. So I should protect myself at all costs…and then I thought…well…what if something really did happen to me? But how could I possibly leave you alone or let someone else take advantage of my place…leaving my beautiful Yuri…[he leaned back
( ... )
[Hero he might be, but he was still the same Keith. Yuri found it hard to refute his logic at times, as it wasn't necessarily--logical. Not that he was unintelligent, but he had a different way of looking at the world sometimes.]
I know that you wouldn't intend to be injured. Just because you think you couldn't possibly be, and you don't want to leave me--that doesn't mean you won't be, and it's something we have to consider. I hope you will be as careful as possible and won't endanger yourself unnecessarily. [Keith's enduring optimism could be maddening as often as it was endearing. Yuri was far more of a pessimist. If something did happen to Keith, he would be furious. He would blame Hero TV for that.] You mean a lot to me, and I'm willing to accept the risk. [He'd just have to double check all his precautions to ensure that Keith didn't discover the truth about him.] I'm sure your job is important to you, and I know it's important to others
( ... )
[Keith would be the first to admit that he could be a bit of an airhead from time to time, but at the same he could be oddly perceptive when he wanted to be. In any case he had been told a number of times that his goofiness was part of his charm.]
Well...I guess it's true that I could be injured...I'm still human...but I'm also a NEXT and I can't help thinking...what better way to put my abilities to use...doing something good and meaningful with my talent [Keith flopped back onto the mattress beside Yuri, his optimism really was impossible, but he did take his partner's feelings into consideration] Though sometimes I think there could be a different way...Hero TV is nice, and I don't mind doing the underwear ads...but I still have trouble wrapping my head around Heroes as some kind of product. Most of us do it because we want to...
And, I wouldn't want to make you sad...so I promise, that was the only thing that I've kept from you and it's the only thing I will keep from you.
People with power should use it to do good, to combat wickedness. The strong should protect the innocent. [That's what he does. He envies Keith's ability to speak so openly--now--about what he does. He can't imagine that Keith would want to stay with him if he told him the truth. He would worry about having to combat Sky High, but he believes he can be sure to avoid him, now that he knows. He can see he won't be able to dissuade Keith, certainly not here and now.] That's an admirable impulse, even though I'll be concerned for your safety.
[Yuri doesn't agree at all with the statement "Hero TV is nice", but he manages not to twitch in irritation at the words. It isn't Keith's fault. He can't take it out on him. It wouldn't be right. The entire matter frustrates him, but his smile is genuine when Keith continues.] I couldn't agree more. Heroism shouldn't be commodified. It's-- [He was about to say "sickening, disgusting", but he stops himself.] --problematic. It should be about saving people, not making money or selling
( ... )
I really like your conviction...I'm really oblivious when it comes to relationships, but I think it was the first thing I found attractive about you. Or...admirable...maybe like a hero worship kind of thing which is kind of...[to be honest Keith didn't care too much for the almost slavish love some people had for the Heroes, it was nice to be admired, but he didn't feel like he deserved to be worshiped...but really, after meeting Yuri he could understand it...only because his personal hero had a face he could show others]...but I can only promise not to worry you.
You and I think a lot alike sometimes, I'm probably not as clever as you are, but I think it's good to have similar values [especially since he wanted everything to be good between him and his new partner, the more similarities he could see with the two of them, the more relaxed he felt]
That's my only secret...I promise, and outside of the other Heroes and those who work closely with them you're the only one who knows who I am. I want to keep you safe [it was still
( ... )
[Yuri lowers his eyes.] No, I don't care for hero worship. It never comes to anything good. Please don't think of me that way. Partners should be equals.
We both care deeply about justice. That is important to me. [Though now he knows how different the way they care is. He can't stop himself from picturing Sky High in his costume, his helmet, knowing that that's Keith--it's unsettling. They're enemies.]
I believe you. [It was hard to doubt Keith. He had clearly concealed the truth because that was the proper procedure, what he'd been told to do as a Hero. Unlike him. Sometimes he felt like this side of his life was nothing but a lie, that he was more Lunatic than Yuri. Keith had lessened that feeling somewhat, but now-- Keith was part of that other world, too. He'd only wanted something normal. That was what Keith had seemed: uncomplicated, straightforward. He should leave him now, but he'd found out too late. He wanted Keith, wanted to stay with him, as mad as that was.] I don't like to be mislead--you should at
( ... )
[Keith reaches out to brush a stray lock of hair out of his partner's eyes] Then can I admire you at least...it's not the same as worship, but I respect what you do.
[Though it's not long before Keith goes from looking almost blissfully at Yuri to looking almost crestfallen as his thoughts started to jump from one conclusion to the next.] A...ah you're right...I took away some of your choices. I guess if you had known that I probably wouldn't have been your first pick since it is dangerous...no one wants to think about losing someone they love. If you ever wanted to back out for any reason I'd get it [that didn't mean the very thought of it wasn't a sad one which he couldn't help once his face reflected it] Ah...I know, I trust you.
You can admire me. [But you wouldn't, if you knew, he adds silently. Keeping his identity from Keith as simply his partner had been one thing, but keeping it from a Hero added a new dimension to his lie.] You're right, it isn't the same as worship. [He doesn't say he respects what Keith does, but he hopes Keith doesn't notice the omission as he moves smoothly on.]
It was unfair. [He knows how much more unfair he's being, and his conscience stings. He can't be that cruel. He softens his words and his expression.] But that is why, because I don't want to lose you. [These words are true. He will lose him, in one way or another. He can see that now. He shouldn't have allowed himself to grow close to anyone. It had been a mistake.] I won't back out now, Keith. I've committed myself. Once I've made a decision, I don't change my mind, not lightly. You're the one I've chosen, no matter what happens. [The problem is, he has to deal with two contradictory choices. He sighs. This won't be easy. The wiser course of action would
( ... )
[Of course, it's not in Keith's amiable nature to notice something like that, in fact, as long as he can at least admire his partner then he can be content with that. As a Hero he doesn't have to be admired, there's nothing complicated about catching criminals and he wears a mask so it's not like Keith Goodman is being admired.]
I know, babe. [Keith's own guilt makes him wilt just a little bit more, but he brightens when when Yuri's expression softens] You're not going to lose me...and I'm glad you don't want to leave me either. You're the best thing I've ever done with my life so far...and I've never been that great at relationships...I'm not sure if I told you that. [Keith laid down beside his companion, contemplating him] I can hold you now, right?
[Yuri contemplates Keith in return. It's not difficult to see how little Keith cares about fame, about adulation. If for one moment, he'd suspected that that wasn't the case, he would have left him.]
I've never been particularly good at relationships myself. [How could he be? He'd never had time. He'd been married to his work and to his secret. The kind things Keith says do make him feel guilty, but at the same time, he wants to hear them, craves that kindness.]
Yes, you can hold me now. [His body relaxes slightly, though inwardly he still feels torn. Is this really the decision he's going to make? It seems so foolish, but he wants it.] I don't want to lose you. Sometimes I think you really wouldn't leave me, no matter what.
[Fortunately or unfortunately fame was part of what being a Hero was and while some of his companions enjoyed it and wanted it, for Keith it wassimply a consequence of his obligation. It paid the bills too, but that wasn't a convenience of money, that just meant he could spend more time doing what he was born to do without the additional stress of a double life. Trying to keep it from Yuri made him sick, trying to juggle this and another job would be a disaster.]
I guess that means we're something of a match [Keith liked learning little things like this about his partner, it really made him feel closer to him.]
Alright...[it was hard not to let his excitement get the best of him, but now that he has the green light he's quick to scoop his bedmate up in his arms and hold him close. He enjoyed moments like these, the compact warmth of another body and Yuri wasn't wearing any makeup...but admittedly he liked the smell of it...regardless though his lover was a terribly beautiful man.] I made a promise, I'd stay with you know matter what
( ... )
Yes, we are. [In an odd way, they were.] We have some things in common, more than one might expect.
[He lay still in Keith's arms as the man wrapped his arms around him. There were few people he allowed to see him without his makeup on. He kept it on almost always, except when he went to bed. He was self-conscious about his scars, but not because he worried about how he looked. He felt exposed when they were visible.]
I know you wouldn't. [It wouldn't be on purpose. He wouldn't know it was Yuri, if they fought. The promise is actually tempting, but no--he can't tell Keith who he is.] I want to believe that, that you won't leave me. Everyone leaves me.
[Even for Keith it was rare to see Yuri without his makeup as he only went to bed without it and it wasn’t often they found themselves going to bed at the same time so it was usually dark when the Hero crept in and his partner was always up before he was. He had to admit, having Yuri exposed and naked to him made his heart pound rapidly in his chest, but he would never ask about them. This didn’t stop him from tipping Yuri’s chin up and brushing his lips over his mate’s face, scars and all, he was beautiful.]
Those are sad words [Keith couldn’t imagine who would want to leave Yuri, he was distant and a little cold on the outside…and maybe awkward at dealing with people in a warm and loving manner…but Keith had the privilege of seeing underneath all of that. His hold tightened slightly as though he were symbolically holding Yuri to him, trying to wordlessly convince him that he wouldn’t leave] I would really be the dumbest guy on the planet if I didn’t keep you close at hand, not that I want to be much further from you than I am now…
( ... )
[He usually doesn't open himself up like that, discuss his emotions. One thing he appreciated about Keith was his willingness to accept things as they were, and not to pry. Anyone else would have asked too many questions, grown too close to the truth. Keith didn't question any of his explanations, didn't require elaboration on even the most vague of answers.
Now Yuri wondered if part of the reason for that was because of his own secret, because he was a Hero. No, perhaps that was part of it, but Keith was simply trusting. He trusted Yuri.
He had no idea that Yuri was trying to reconcile his feelings for Keith with the fact that Keith was something he despised, that was against everything he stood for.
Part of him wanted to draw back, away from Keith, but he was used to these physical touches now, and he wanted them. His body tensed, but he didn't pull away, allowing the kiss, the caresses.] It's not always easy for people to accept me. You and I are quite different, in many ways. We're apart much of the time. We each have
( ... )
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There was no need to panic, he told himself. Keith suspected nothing. Perhaps he could find some way to use this situation to his advantage. Not that he wished to take advantage of Keith, but it was an opportunity. He'd used his position with the Justice Administration in the same way. He wasn't sure how to utilize his new knowledge, but he might be able to think of something.]
Of course I understand. You shouldn't be afraid. Not when it comes to me. [He put up a hand to ward off Keith and his kisses, following the gesture with another touch, stroking his cheek. He still desired Keith, but this was a dizzying revelation. He needed a minute to compose himself completely. He smiled another false smile.]Keith, I ( ... )
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It took a little bit of time for what Yuri was saying to sink in, not that he was too dense to get it, but he had to consider the possibility that his line of work was dangerous and if something happened to him how would he be able to take care of his lover.]
I can understand that…I’ve thought about it a little bit and…well the only conclusion I could come to is that this body isn’t just mine anymore, it’s also yours. So I should protect myself at all costs…and then I thought…well…what if something really did happen to me? But how could I possibly leave you alone or let someone else take advantage of my place…leaving my beautiful Yuri…[he leaned back ( ... )
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I know that you wouldn't intend to be injured. Just because you think you couldn't possibly be, and you don't want to leave me--that doesn't mean you won't be, and it's something we have to consider. I hope you will be as careful as possible and won't endanger yourself unnecessarily. [Keith's enduring optimism could be maddening as often as it was endearing. Yuri was far more of a pessimist. If something did happen to Keith, he would be furious. He would blame Hero TV for that.] You mean a lot to me, and I'm willing to accept the risk. [He'd just have to double check all his precautions to ensure that Keith didn't discover the truth about him.] I'm sure your job is important to you, and I know it's important to others ( ... )
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Well...I guess it's true that I could be injured...I'm still human...but I'm also a NEXT and I can't help thinking...what better way to put my abilities to use...doing something good and meaningful with my talent [Keith flopped back onto the mattress beside Yuri, his optimism really was impossible, but he did take his partner's feelings into consideration] Though sometimes I think there could be a different way...Hero TV is nice, and I don't mind doing the underwear ads...but I still have trouble wrapping my head around Heroes as some kind of product. Most of us do it because we want to...
And, I wouldn't want to make you sad...so I promise, that was the only thing that I've kept from you and it's the only thing I will keep from you.
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[Yuri doesn't agree at all with the statement "Hero TV is nice", but he manages not to twitch in irritation at the words. It isn't Keith's fault. He can't take it out on him. It wouldn't be right. The entire matter frustrates him, but his smile is genuine when Keith continues.] I couldn't agree more. Heroism shouldn't be commodified. It's-- [He was about to say "sickening, disgusting", but he stops himself.] --problematic. It should be about saving people, not making money or selling ( ... )
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You and I think a lot alike sometimes, I'm probably not as clever as you are, but I think it's good to have similar values [especially since he wanted everything to be good between him and his new partner, the more similarities he could see with the two of them, the more relaxed he felt]
That's my only secret...I promise, and outside of the other Heroes and those who work closely with them you're the only one who knows who I am. I want to keep you safe [it was still ( ... )
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We both care deeply about justice. That is important to me. [Though now he knows how different the way they care is. He can't stop himself from picturing Sky High in his costume, his helmet, knowing that that's Keith--it's unsettling. They're enemies.]
I believe you. [It was hard to doubt Keith. He had clearly concealed the truth because that was the proper procedure, what he'd been told to do as a Hero. Unlike him. Sometimes he felt like this side of his life was nothing but a lie, that he was more Lunatic than Yuri. Keith had lessened that feeling somewhat, but now-- Keith was part of that other world, too. He'd only wanted something normal. That was what Keith had seemed: uncomplicated, straightforward. He should leave him now, but he'd found out too late. He wanted Keith, wanted to stay with him, as mad as that was.] I don't like to be mislead--you should at ( ... )
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[Though it's not long before Keith goes from looking almost blissfully at Yuri to looking almost crestfallen as his thoughts started to jump from one conclusion to the next.] A...ah you're right...I took away some of your choices. I guess if you had known that I probably wouldn't have been your first pick since it is dangerous...no one wants to think about losing someone they love. If you ever wanted to back out for any reason I'd get it [that didn't mean the very thought of it wasn't a sad one which he couldn't help once his face reflected it] Ah...I know, I trust you.
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It was unfair. [He knows how much more unfair he's being, and his conscience stings. He can't be that cruel. He softens his words and his expression.] But that is why, because I don't want to lose you. [These words are true. He will lose him, in one way or another. He can see that now. He shouldn't have allowed himself to grow close to anyone. It had been a mistake.] I won't back out now, Keith. I've committed myself. Once I've made a decision, I don't change my mind, not lightly. You're the one I've chosen, no matter what happens. [The problem is, he has to deal with two contradictory choices. He sighs. This won't be easy. The wiser course of action would ( ... )
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I know, babe. [Keith's own guilt makes him wilt just a little bit more, but he brightens when when Yuri's expression softens] You're not going to lose me...and I'm glad you don't want to leave me either. You're the best thing I've ever done with my life so far...and I've never been that great at relationships...I'm not sure if I told you that. [Keith laid down beside his companion, contemplating him] I can hold you now, right?
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I've never been particularly good at relationships myself. [How could he be? He'd never had time. He'd been married to his work and to his secret. The kind things Keith says do make him feel guilty, but at the same time, he wants to hear them, craves that kindness.]
Yes, you can hold me now. [His body relaxes slightly, though inwardly he still feels torn. Is this really the decision he's going to make? It seems so foolish, but he wants it.] I don't want to lose you. Sometimes I think you really wouldn't leave me, no matter what.
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I guess that means we're something of a match [Keith liked learning little things like this about his partner, it really made him feel closer to him.]
Alright...[it was hard not to let his excitement get the best of him, but now that he has the green light he's quick to scoop his bedmate up in his arms and hold him close. He enjoyed moments like these, the compact warmth of another body and Yuri wasn't wearing any makeup...but admittedly he liked the smell of it...regardless though his lover was a terribly beautiful man.] I made a promise, I'd stay with you know matter what ( ... )
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[He lay still in Keith's arms as the man wrapped his arms around him. There were few people he allowed to see him without his makeup on. He kept it on almost always, except when he went to bed. He was self-conscious about his scars, but not because he worried about how he looked. He felt exposed when they were visible.]
I know you wouldn't. [It wouldn't be on purpose. He wouldn't know it was Yuri, if they fought. The promise is actually tempting, but no--he can't tell Keith who he is.] I want to believe that, that you won't leave me. Everyone leaves me.
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Those are sad words [Keith couldn’t imagine who would want to leave Yuri, he was distant and a little cold on the outside…and maybe awkward at dealing with people in a warm and loving manner…but Keith had the privilege of seeing underneath all of that. His hold tightened slightly as though he were symbolically holding Yuri to him, trying to wordlessly convince him that he wouldn’t leave] I would really be the dumbest guy on the planet if I didn’t keep you close at hand, not that I want to be much further from you than I am now… ( ... )
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Now Yuri wondered if part of the reason for that was because of his own secret, because he was a Hero. No, perhaps that was part of it, but Keith was simply trusting. He trusted Yuri.
He had no idea that Yuri was trying to reconcile his feelings for Keith with the fact that Keith was something he despised, that was against everything he stood for.
Part of him wanted to draw back, away from Keith, but he was used to these physical touches now, and he wanted them. His body tensed, but he didn't pull away, allowing the kiss, the caresses.] It's not always easy for people to accept me. You and I are quite different, in many ways. We're apart much of the time. We each have ( ... )
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