985. want your loving
The Random (Porn) Scenario Meme 2.0
The Rules
1. Character A: Post to the meme and wait for replies. Name|Series|Prefs
2. Character B: Go to the RNG and roll some numbers. Type first, and then go to that category and roll again.
3. Multiple Lady Gaga/Ke$ha references go here.
Note: If someone is uncomfortable and tells you to back off, please do so. If ( Read more... )
Hardcore - No: 1, 5, 7-11
Toys - No: 7, 12, 13, 17, 19
Misc - No: 2, 9, 11, 14
Anything else is alright.]
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"Wha--!? WHAT? NO!" Rose Tyler, you will pay for this. Mark his (unspoken) words. "'S not like that at all!" Wait, she said telly not actually implied anything between the two... yet.
"What exactly did Rose tell you?" He accidentally spilled water over the stove and quickly grabbed a dish cloth to dry it. This situation wasn't getting any better and he was now trapped in the kitchen.
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"Nothing? I've been your mum a long time, Rose, and a woman even longer. Don't you 'nothing' me! And you, Doctor," she emphasized with a poke to his back. "What do you think she told me? The way you're going on, I'm starting to think what I heard wasn't the lot of it! Oh, my God, is it some kind of alien sex ritual? Watch the local porn with my daughter, then bring her back to your time machine and compare notes?!" Jackie was about two seconds from slapping him.
Make that less than. Palm, meet the Doctor's cheek. Rose? Winced in sympathy.
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"Your neighbor was having a go at it..." He pointed to his ears, "Superior senses? I could hear 'em too." Oh lies, Doctor, but now wasn't the time to talk about how much he fancied her daughter and no worries, because their DNA was incompatible and he could never impregnate her. Also, he'd rather not point out what mostly happened between her and Mickey behind closed doors.
"I was curious, was all. Human drives, hormones, is all different from a Time Lord's. Just... bad timing of a conversation, yeah?"
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And don't think Rose didn't see the looks he was giving her. Orgasms always did a number on her cognitive abilities anyway, add in stress and abandonment by her co-conspirator and you got what you got. It could be loads worse; it wouldn't have been an issue at all if he hadn't swanned off in a blatantly uncharacteristic manner. Actually, the Doctor might have just made it worse.
Jackie's eyes narrowed and those arms of hers crossed over her chest again. "You heard my neighbor having it off with someone and the first thing you thought of was to watch a sex tape with my daughter?! She always says you're different and better than that, but you're just another lad, aren't you? You keep your perverted alien...curiosity separate from my Rose, d'you hear me?"
"Mum...Stop it. He is different and we didn't-- we aren't like that!" See? Rose helped. She also was a liar, but her mother did not need to know ( ... )
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Oh victory! Hopefully, that is, but the Doctor couldn't resist the amused smile.
"Anyway, it was inappropriate, and I'm dreadfully sorry." And calmly, despite having quite the red cheek, he found the tea cups and carried on with his task of pouring the water and steeping the little bags.
This had definitely been a lesson, no matter how Rose looked or teased, they were to behave at her mum's house.
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Still, she probably shouldn't laugh, not even when she caught sight of the Doctor's amused smile and had to bite back one of her own. He was adorable when flustered, even more when he was what, groveling? But amused was a personal favorite of hers.
Jackie hrmphed, watching him carefully as he continued the tea-making process.
Rose came up behind her mother and rested a (only slightly shaky) hand on Jackie's shoulder. "It was my doing, anyway, mum. I'm the one who brought the video and turned it on, so you shouldn't blame him. Good news is, sounds like things are coming to a head next door, yeah? You might just get some sleep tonight!"
It was a decent redirection, really. So was the female calling out to God and the baritone moaning coming that could be heard. "Oh, for the love of-- OI! I told you to bloody well keep it down in there!" Jackie yelled -- whether or not the offenders heard her was unknown, but Rose winced at the volume. "That's the third time ( ... )
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"No, ma'am, I think we're good to go to bed now." Because the last thing he wanted was to have his reputation tarnished and character in question around Rose any more tonight. "Nice tea, though. Lovely blend."
Finally after what seemed like forever with Jackie continuing to rant and look at both accusingly, she retreated to her room, leaving the two in the kitchen.
"Next time, don't use a stupid excuse such as 'we were lookin' at porn', yeah? I thought we were goners."
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At the moment, she was glaring, arms wrapped around herself in a sign of both defensiveness and annoyance.
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"I didn't say anything about you, I was talking about your excuse. We don't even have a disk or evidence to prove it even if we wanted to.... You could've just said you couldn't sleep, yeah?"
He stepped forward to place his hands on her shoulders. Really, she had a thousand different options and she picked that? No wonder Jackie nearly went off the deep end to destroy him. And he was lucky her nakedness went unnoticed.
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A pause to adjust the bottom of her shirt again, tugging it down a bit more, when she remembered the rest of what he'd said. Her lips twitched and she cleared her throat. "What makes you think I haven't got a disc around here to prove it?" Really, Doctor. She was a twenty year-old woman who'd had boyfriends and been sexually active since she was fifteen. He honestly didn't think she'd ever seen or owned pornography?
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"Wasn't aware of that..." How else was he suppose to go about this? Humans were so silly with their thoughts and morals, but he had learned to respect them and do as the Romans do, as the quote went, but now he was the one living by them. Not to mention there was always something about one's mum he couldn't piss off.
Then the thought sunk in, "You really have porn in your room?" Oh Rose, you never stop to baffle the Doctor.
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Bracing a palm on the counter on either side of her, Rose leaned back against it. "And yeah, I might have. That really so surprising? It's 2007, not 1957, you know."
Actually, she might have a couple of things in there that'd surprise him, not that she was intending on sharing that information with him.
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A clear of his throat, "Right, well. We survived!" He smiled, letting her know he didn't have any regrets for it especially after learning he wasn't going to regenerate at her mom's hands.
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"D'you know what I think?" Rose held a hand out toward him and crooked her finger. "I think we should celebrate our narrow escape and I think you ought to come over here. I've got an ego that's still smarting from my quick-thinking being called stupid and, now that I'm doing all this thinking, my ego's a bit bruised by you being surprised."
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