I'd hit it...

Jun 06, 2012 17:36

THE "i'd HIT that" MEME


Read more... )

rated: nc17, shipping-romance, rated: r, smut, crack-humor, rated: pg13

Leave a comment

Re: Tony Stark | Iron Man/Avengers | OTA usedtoberussian June 8 2012, 01:42:37 UTC
"You would." Natasha rolls her eyes. "Slut."

Though that's not, strictly speaking, true. Natasha spent ages profiling Tony for SHIELD. One of the first things she learned was how greatly exaggerated his man-whoring ways are. Once upon a time, they may've been true. But in all the time that she's known him, he's been all talk.

Reply

nottheworsthing June 8 2012, 11:59:24 UTC
"Me?" He lays a hand on his chest, affecting an expression of wounded innocence, but he can't quite suppress a smirk. Okay, so maybe he does play up the 'playboy' thing. It's mostly diversionary. He's pretty sure she knows that.

Reply

usedtoberussian June 9 2012, 23:26:10 UTC
"You know what you are, Stark," Natasha shoots back with a teasing grin. Oh, she knows the 'playboy'-thing is an act. She just figures it's to cover just how deeply he has changed. By all accounts (including Pepper's), Tony is not the same man now that he was before Afghanistan. Before then, evidently he gladly screwed around. But he had a -- no pun intended -- change of heart, and now he doesn't. And Natasha has her suspicions as to why. "Don't play coy. It doesn't suit you."

She leans back in the plush and comfortable sofa and raises her bottle of beer to her lips. As she drinks from it, she gives him a slow once over. "I suppose I would," she says as she lowers the bottle. "Hit that."

Reply

nottheworsthing June 9 2012, 23:51:57 UTC
"Yeah," he agrees, "I do." He'd be the first to concede that he has a great many flaws. But self-delusion isn't one of them. He knows exactly who and what he is, and, well...he's come to terms with it. At the accusation of coyness he just smirks.

He pauses with the bottle not quite at his lips, tilting his head thoughtfully as he considers her. "Huh," he says, but doesn't elaborate.

Reply

usedtoberussian June 10 2012, 00:04:10 UTC
When Tony smirks, Natasha rolls her eyes, leans forward and sets her beer down on the coffee table. Leaning back, she gives him an honestly surprised look.

"That can't be a surprise." She raises an eyebrow at him. As they've established, he knows what he is. And one of those things is very handsome. Another that he's damn good at what he does, and competence is always a turn-on. Plus, there's a rumor that he's fantastic in bed. Though Natasha is disinclined to believe rumors in general, something tells her that Tony lives up to his reputation.

"I would've slept with you as Natalie. If you'd gone for it. But you never did..." Of course, her willingness to sleep with him then had more to do with the mission than being attracted to the fucking mess he'd been then.

Reply

nottheworsthing June 10 2012, 00:14:14 UTC
He raises an eyebrow right back. "I kinda always thought you couldn't stand me," he says, since apparently they're being honest tonight. True enough, actually liking someone has never really been a prerequisite for sleeping with them, but- it still comes as a surprise. He can't help but make a face at the reminder of the whole palladium poisoning...thing. He takes another drink, gives the beer a vaguely offended look, and stands with the intent of getting something stronger.

Reply

usedtoberussian June 10 2012, 00:32:36 UTC
Natasha gives him a one-shouldered shrug. Back when they first met, she hadn't thought much of him, to be honest. All that talent and intelligence and he was wasting it on childish games and entirely selfish ventures. Plus, babysitting a self-destructing business man with delusions of heroism has to be one of her least favorite missions. And that includes that time in Buenos Aires when she had to hide out in a sewer for a day.

"You're an acquired taste," she quips, watching him move across the room. Then, because it seems they're being honest... "You're insufferable, and arrogant, and quite possibly the most childish man I've ever met." And she's best friends with Clint Barton. "But that doesn't mean I don't like you." She grabs her beer from the coffee table yet again. "Besides, I figured you sort of hated me after the whole Natalie-thing anyway."

Reply

nottheworsthing June 10 2012, 00:56:21 UTC
That period is not up for discussion. He's not proud of how he behaved, but he refuses to apologize for trying to tick as many things off his bucket list as possible in the time he had left. He saunters over to the bar and pours himself a glass of scotch, nodding amiably in agreement with her assessment of him. Why not? Nothing she's saying is untrue or unfair. It's not the whole story either, but that's another matter entirely. "I like you," he says candidly. "I don't trust you, but I like you."

Reply

usedtoberussian June 10 2012, 01:08:23 UTC
It's not only the bucket list, Tony. It's the choreographed Iron Man performance with background dancers in skimpy outfits. It's the hubris and how everything seemed like nothing more than a game to you.

"Huh." That honestly surprises her. She's not hurt by his lack of trust in her -- even though he has no true reason to distrust her, as long as his interests remain the same as SHIELD's he can trust her implicitly -- after all, she trusts exactly one person in the world; herself. (And, to some extent, Clint.) "Pour me one of those, will you?"

Reply

nottheworsthing June 10 2012, 01:20:41 UTC
And what exactly has she gained from taking everything seriously? Of course he treats life as a joke. He'd go crazy if he didn't. Life is random and the universe doesn't give a shit, and once you're dead you don't get any second chances. How else are you meant to stay sane if not by treating it as the game it is, if you don't have faith or loyalty or anything else to shore you up? Anyway, he's going to have his every move picked apart by the tabloids no matter what he does. He might as well have some fun with it and play to his audience ( ... )

Reply

usedtoberussian June 10 2012, 01:35:50 UTC
Natasha and Tony were raised so very differently. For her, everything has always been dead serious and the stakes have always been real. Of course, she's never had to live in the limelight -- until now, of course -- always doing her work in the shadows. Besides, she was brought up to think of the Americans as decadent, degenerate, capitalist pigs. And Tony? Tony reinforces that image like no one else.

If it comes down to it, if SHIELD sends her after him, Natasha won't hesitate. Afterwards, she figures that she'll feel bad about it. But, it won't stay her hand. She's a good agent and she follows orders. So, yeah, he's probably right not to trust her. But, truth be told, SHIELD wouldn't go after such a public figure as Tony Stark. Well, at least they wouldn't straight up assassinate him. They'd find some far more nefarious way to bring him down. Anyway, as of right now, SHIELD has no interest in alienating Tony Stark, and for the foreseeable future Tony and Natasha are on the same team, and she'd never betray a team mate ( ... )

Reply

nottheworsthing June 10 2012, 01:47:40 UTC
Yeah, he had a feeling it was like that. Tony has a long list of Reasons Not To Trust SHIELD, and it begins and ends with 'that one time they fired a nuke at us'. Okay, so SHIELD are at least pro-not-getting-invaded-by-aliens, which he does appreciate. But he's not willing to place any amount of faith in an organization for which 'nuke Manhattan' is Plan A.

He slides back into his seat with a smirk and raises his glass to clink against hers. "To trust issues," he says, and takes a long drink. Isn't it nice they've found something they can agree on? It's just a shame they're not a more compatible kind of fucked up. "I wouldn't, by the way," he adds as an afterthought. "I mean don't get me wrong, you're mind-blowingly hot, but contrary to popular opinion I do value my life."

Reply

usedtoberussian June 10 2012, 01:59:45 UTC
To be fair, the nuke wasn't SHIELD's call. That was all on the Council, which is pretty shady on its best days. Now, as the Council controls SHIELD (though not Director Fury), it could probably be argued that SHIELD is rather shady too. But, Natasha won't be making that argument. SHIELD took her in when she was lost -- granted they mostly did that because Clint forced their hand, but still -- and it's been the closest thing to a home to her for the past decade.

Though Natasha could knock the drink back in two great swallows, she merely sips it, cradling the glass in her hands. "You do know I don't actually kill people once I've slept with them, right?" she asks, a somewhat incredulous note in her voice. Sleeping with her has so far only been lethal to those she has been sent to kill. "That's not where my codename comes from."

Reply

nottheworsthing June 10 2012, 02:09:35 UTC
"I know," he replies. He gives a wry smirk and taps the center of his chest, where the blue glow is faintly visible through his shirt, eliciting a metallic noise. "But like I said, I don't trust you." Not that he really thinks she'd kill him; but as circumstances have proven, he's not the best judge of these things. And either way the probability of it all ending in a humiliating panic attack seems unacceptably high.

Reply

usedtoberussian June 10 2012, 02:36:10 UTC
Oh. That makes quite a few puzzle pieces fall into place, actually. Tony really wears his heart on his sleeve -- or, the outside of his chest, as it may be. Allowing someone close enough to sleep with them is an awful risk. It's probably why he doesn't screw around anymore. Funny, but that was never one of her theories.

"Fair enough," she says with a small shrug. It wasn't an offer to sleep with him, the information that she probably would, given the opportunity. Just an observation. "For what it's worth; I don't want to kill you." Though she doesn't expect that to make any difference; words are cheap, after all.

Reply

nottheworsthing June 10 2012, 02:43:40 UTC
"Hey, I believe you," he says, taking another drink. But his subconscious is apparently harder to convince. He knows he'll freak out if anyone he doesn't trust touches the reactor, and given that counting off the list of people he trusts would not involve a simple thinker running out of fingers, it kinda limits his options. Getting laid isn't worth the fallout.

Reply


Leave a comment

Up