IC Confession Meme

[wanktastica]

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Castiel | Supernatural | ota

[holy_hand_print]

[hunting_trip]

I wanna forgive you. For everything- all that stupid shit you've done, everything we've been through. Half the time I just wanna say screw it, I'd rather have you, fucked up or not. And you know what? I friggin' hate myself for it. Because it can't be that easy. It's never that easy, not for me. Half the time, I'm just braced for you to get fed up. Realize what a... a fucking black hole I am, and get out while you still can. I wouldn't blame you for it. Actually, I'd probably feel like you were... I don't know. Safer, I guess.

[holy_hand_print]

I have made my mistakes, things that I will regret for the rest of my time. And losing your trust will always the one thing I can never forgive myself for. And I know you will never forgive me either. It isn't easy, Dean, to try and rectify all the mistakes Ive made.

Through all of this though, through all my mistakes.. I know that staying by your side is the right thing. No matter what, all the mistakes and how you may feel... Dean, I wish to remain here. With you.

[hunting_trip]

That's the thing, though, Cas, it's that I can forgive you. Despite all this shit, you've still done more for me than anybody else- except maybe Bobby. You've been there for me when- hell- I wouldn't have even been there for me. It'd be so friggin' easy to forgive you, but at least... at least if we're at odds like this, I know what's wrong. the second things get right again, something new and fucked up is gonna happen, and at least this way... At least this way I've got control over it.

At least this way, you're still here. 'Cause man, I... shit. I don't want you to go. I really, really don't want you to go. More than you can ever imagine.

I need you. And that is just... That ain't me.

[holy_hand_print]

I won't leave you.

[Castiel gets in close, eyes set on Dean and their faces mere centimeters apart. His eyes are shining with something there, his jaw set and his gaze determined.]

Forgive me or not, do what you will but you must understand that I will not leave you again. Every time I die, I return, and some how even through amnesia I always return to you. You are the one, Dean Winchester.

I will always need you, just as much as you need me.

I won't go.

Re: Castiel | Supernatural | ota

[junkyard_hunter]

You're a damned idjit, Cas.

But you're always gonna be family.

[holy_hand_print]

[He gives a soft smile at that.]

I would hope , Bobby, that if one day I were to meet my father that he would be more like you.

[junkyard_hunter]

[Bobby gives an amused snort, shaking his head. Clearly, he's touched by the sentiment.] You're hoping God is a cranky old man.

[He shakes his head] You three idjits are the sons I never had the guts to have.

[holy_hand_print]

I hope that God shows an ounce of kindness that you have shown to us.

[Cas ducks his head, clearly embarrassed as he smiles.]

Perhaps you did not need to have them, because we were already made for you.

[hellunbounded]

I forgave you the minute you did it.

[holy_hand_print]

I still do not believe I deserve it.

[hellunbounded]

You will. With time, Cas.

God, Cas - you shouldn't have taken those memories from me. [Then, maybe, he could be okay again.]

[hunter_returns]

I forgive you, Cas. I did pretty much right after you broke the wall.

[holy_hand_print]

You... should not, Sam. You shouldn't have. I got what I deserved, I still should be punished more. You are too kind. I do not deserve it.

[hunter_returns]

Cas.. [Sam drags him into a hug. He can't help it, he's a hugger. He also hates seeing him so upset.] We've all made mistakes. None of us is exactly innocent. I forgive you.