David Saunders | OC | OTAitsnotacurseDecember 30 2012, 22:35:43 UTC
There are reasons David decided to go to a bar, alone, when he sort of almost has a girlfriend now. There are reasons he's drinking straight whiskey instead of a rum and Coke like he normally does. There are reasons. But really, he's not likely to talk about them until he's at least two more glasses in. Meantime, he'll be sitting at the bar, letting his mental guard down and 'listening' to the minds around him.
If Aubrey didn't know any better, he'd almost say David was avoiding him -- which, he supposed, was understandable considering...well, everything.
Still, he's rather surprised to find that all too familiar face in one of his favourite drinking holes. Two drinks are ordered, one passed over to David, as he slips onto one of the stools: "Rough week?"
Maybe David should be more surprised to see Aubrey there. Instead, he just accepts the drink and examines the one already in his hand, forming an answer to the other man's question. "Great week," he says at last. "By anyone's standards except, apparently, mine." And so saying, he knocks back the rest of his glass and sets it down.
"Haven't we already been over this? More than once, in fact."
It's not evasion, not really. In fact, the casualness of the response belies the way Aubrey is now watching David, almost as if he is looking for something in the other man.
David considers ways to make the man in front of him shut up, and then settles for just talking, although he does tune in to what Aubrey's feeling right now as well. "Yeah. Well. I asked what you think of me, when I was high on painkillers, and I got an answer I didn't understand. So fine, you've answered. Sort of. You said we'd talk about it when I wasn't high and could understand it, so let's talk."
"What I think of you and how I feel about you are two rather different things." David, more than anyone, should understand that now; thought versus emotion and it figures that the difficult one is the one that he seems to have mostly figured out at this point.
Well, give or take.
"I think that you are extraordinarily young, with all that that entails, but that at your heart you are good man." He lifts his glass, pauses and adds: "Misguided but good."
Then drinks.
"As for how I feel about you, I've yet to entirely figure that one out for myself."
But there was definitely something there - something significant - even if he'd yet to properly pin it down.
David considers that carefully. Feelings are the hard part? Then the obvious answer is to stir them up. "I went on a date with Jac," he says, turning back to his own drink. "How do you feel about that?" He is, of course, 'listening' intently for the answer.
(The response is immediate, if not overtly visible: a riot of emotions - hard, sharp edged things that are most decidedly not happy - that is summarily clamped down, buried beneath that impassive calm. )
His grip on the glass tightens, voice remaining calm: “Did you enjoy yourself?”
"Yeah." And then, because of all the reactions he could have gotten, this one makes him hope, he adds to that, more conviction in his voice although his heart is pounding. "Actually, no. I don't 'think'--I would. I would've rather been with you."
To be fair, he hadn't exactly asked either. Quite possibly because, until this very moment, he hadn't really been aware of it as a possibility. And yet, somehow, knowing that it is makes him feel inexplicably lighter.
"Yeah, I guess not." A small laugh, and he swallows. "But, well. Now I'm asking. So--" Words fail him again. This is what he spends half his jobs doing, talking his way in and out of situations; and yet it falls apart here. Only the fact that Aubrey's reaction so far has overall been positive keeps him talking. "Would you want to?"
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Still, he's rather surprised to find that all too familiar face in one of his favourite drinking holes. Two drinks are ordered, one passed over to David, as he slips onto one of the stools: "Rough week?"
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It's not evasion, not really. In fact, the casualness of the response belies the way Aubrey is now watching David, almost as if he is looking for something in the other man.
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Well, give or take.
"I think that you are extraordinarily young, with all that that entails, but that at your heart you are good man." He lifts his glass, pauses and adds: "Misguided but good."
Then drinks.
"As for how I feel about you, I've yet to entirely figure that one out for myself."
But there was definitely something there - something significant - even if he'd yet to properly pin it down.
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(The response is immediate, if not overtly visible: a riot of emotions - hard, sharp edged things that are most decidedly not happy - that is summarily clamped down, buried beneath that impassive calm. )
His grip on the glass tightens, voice remaining calm: “Did you enjoy yourself?”
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He sets down the drink again. "Think I would've enjoyed it more if it was with you."
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And then, again, when the reality of that finally settles.
"Oh."
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To be fair, he hadn't exactly asked either. Quite possibly because, until this very moment, he hadn't really been aware of it as a possibility. And yet, somehow, knowing that it is makes him feel inexplicably lighter.
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