That long.... [ Which makes that another thing for his head to spin over. That's a long time. So they were keeping their mirrored secret feelings to themselves for even longer than he could have imagined. ]
I had no idea. [ he flushes even deeper to admit it. Or it might be more that he did notice something, but passed it off as wishful thinking, adding it to his secret shame that he could harbor such improper feelings for a student. Because there were those other things he saw, that no one else seemed to. ] I just... wanted to be your friend. You were so... lonely. Then... before I knew it....
I'm grateful… 「 Because he could relax around him, let his guard down just a tiny bit more than he would at others. With him, there was no pressure, nothing that could force certain social standards on him. Naoshi blurred the lines between teacher and student more than any other member of the faculty, and around him he felt relieved, and so, so happy…
He leans in till they're cheek to cheek, nuzzling at his ear. 」 But I want to be more than that. Not just a friend…
[ His heart takes a strange lurch; it almost feels like it just twisted there in his chest from these surges of emotion. Fear and eagerness and doubt and hope... a cocktail the likes of which he's never experienced before.
What Homare said.... Well, that's sort of a given, isn't it? They both confessed to loving each other. They can't just turn away from that, can they?
He tentatively, gently puts a hand to his student's cheek by feel alone, brushing his fingers along the side of his face and running them loosely into his sky-colored hair. Even if it's a given, he's not going to assume. Like Homare had to hear him confess, he needs to hear Homare agree, understanding that this won't be easy. He swallows nervously. ] We'd... have to be secret. You know that... right?
「 He's introverted enough to be good at keeping secrets, but…must they? When he'd gone this far just to let him know, even. They'd have to keep it a secret, to ensure that they could stay together, from now on. If the others ever found out… 」 I know. 「 And he has to be practical, he has to hold it all in for him. So that they both won't lose what they have, no matter how painful it is for him to pretend otherwise. 」
[ Will it make it harder or easier, he wonders, knowing his secret feelings are returned? Will it hurt more to keep them to himself and put up the same ordinary Haruki front until a time when no one's watching them, or will it hurt less, not having to hide them from the one those feelings exist for, anymore?
He smooths his student's hair with a faintly trembling hand, but even if he's anxious, he doesn't want to run. He was committed from the moment he opened his mouth and said 'I love you too.' ] ...can you live with that?
「 It's almost exciting, being in love in secret, like the love he'd harbored for so long. But there's more excitement to be had in letting it all out like he'd done a moment ago, but his practical side does come out even in the heat of the moment. He has to comply, if it means that they can be together. Even for just a little while… 」 As long as we're together…
[ A shaky sigh escapes him and he presses his cheek against Homare's in turn, fingers tangling tighter (but not to be painful) in the younger man's hair. ] Then-- Then from now on--
[ No, wait, this is no good. If he's dedicated to this he's got to be strong about it and prove he means it. His-- his most precious person deserves no less.
He frees his hand so he can stretch up, wrapping his arms securely around Homare's shoulders, holding the other as tightly and possessively as he can, gathering himself until he can say the words without stammering them. ] Then from now on it's our secret: the two of us, together.
「 He holds back just as tightly, kissing his ear before drawing back till their noses touch. As long as they're together, nothing else should matter. And it won't be long before he'll graduate… 」
Yes, Sensei… 「 Then he closes the small distance between their lips to seal it. It's a promise. 」
[ How does Homare stay so composed? Even if it's only outwardly-- Naoshi can still feel that pounding beat from inside the other's chest... and he was the one jealous of Naoshi?
But that's a kiss he doesn't feel nearly as overwhelmed by as that flurry from before; it doesn't overwhelm at all, in fact. He still can't help but feel like Homare's better at this than him, somehow, but he gives that kiss back determinedly. It's a promise, an oath, a commitment... he absolutely will not back down from it.
He doesn't even let the couple of tears that sneak from the corners of his eyes distract him from putting his all into proving his earnestness with that kiss. ]
「 It's better this way…Naoshi's his first, and he's never had to rehearse this, but it's a learning experience for the both of them. And they'll have plenty of time to practice, from now on. He'll give these to no one else but him. 」
Don't cry… 「 Murmuring against his lips as he raises a finger to brush at his cheek. There shouldn't be any reason to cry, should there? When they've pledged themselves to each other, finally sharing a sweet moment like this…together…
[ Naoshi opens his eyes, another tear escaping when he blinks, but his expression is tender underneath that blush and he hasn't relinquished even an ounce of pressure from his possessive embrace. ]
I'm not crying. I just got... happy in my eyes, that's all.
[ OOC: First 'postnuptial' now that? Even all the captchas ship this. (yay) ]
[ So gentle... and all his. For real, not just in a wishful secret fantasy. And it'll still have to be secret, lest he be fired and Homare's reputation slandered, but at least it's real and shared.
He drops his arms from Homare's shoulders, but that's only so he can wrap them snugly and more comfortably around the other's waist, leaning in as close as possible and resting his head on the taller youth's chest. Perhaps ironically, he's not actually intimidated by the height difference. On the contrary, this feels so wonderfully warm and secure.... ]
I'll make you the happiest. [ He doesn't know how exactly, just yet, but he'll find out. ] I'll be the absolute best boyfriend you deserve!
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I had no idea. [ he flushes even deeper to admit it. Or it might be more that he did notice something, but passed it off as wishful thinking, adding it to his secret shame that he could harbor such improper feelings for a student. Because there were those other things he saw, that no one else seemed to. ] I just... wanted to be your friend. You were so... lonely. Then... before I knew it....
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He leans in till they're cheek to cheek, nuzzling at his ear. 」 But I want to be more than that. Not just a friend…
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What Homare said.... Well, that's sort of a given, isn't it? They both confessed to loving each other. They can't just turn away from that, can they?
He tentatively, gently puts a hand to his student's cheek by feel alone, brushing his fingers along the side of his face and running them loosely into his sky-colored hair. Even if it's a given, he's not going to assume. Like Homare had to hear him confess, he needs to hear Homare agree, understanding that this won't be easy. He swallows nervously. ] We'd... have to be secret. You know that... right?
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He smooths his student's hair with a faintly trembling hand, but even if he's anxious, he doesn't want to run. He was committed from the moment he opened his mouth and said 'I love you too.' ] ...can you live with that?
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[ No, wait, this is no good. If he's dedicated to this he's got to be strong about it and prove he means it. His-- his most precious person deserves no less.
He frees his hand so he can stretch up, wrapping his arms securely around Homare's shoulders, holding the other as tightly and possessively as he can, gathering himself until he can say the words without stammering them. ] Then from now on it's our secret: the two of us, together.
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Yes, Sensei… 「 Then he closes the small distance between their lips to seal it. It's a promise. 」
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But that's a kiss he doesn't feel nearly as overwhelmed by as that flurry from before; it doesn't overwhelm at all, in fact. He still can't help but feel like Homare's better at this than him, somehow, but he gives that kiss back determinedly. It's a promise, an oath, a commitment... he absolutely will not back down from it.
He doesn't even let the couple of tears that sneak from the corners of his eyes distract him from putting his all into proving his earnestness with that kiss. ]
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Don't cry… 「 Murmuring against his lips as he raises a finger to brush at his cheek. There shouldn't be any reason to cry, should there? When they've pledged themselves to each other, finally sharing a sweet moment like this…together…
OOC: Captcha reads togethr and owo 」
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I'm not crying. I just got... happy in my eyes, that's all.
[ OOC: First 'postnuptial' now that? Even all the captchas ship this. (yay) ]
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I'm happy too… 「 Running his lips across that forehead, that bright crop of hair tickling his nose. 」 So happy…
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He drops his arms from Homare's shoulders, but that's only so he can wrap them snugly and more comfortably around the other's waist, leaning in as close as possible and resting his head on the taller youth's chest. Perhaps ironically, he's not actually intimidated by the height difference. On the contrary, this feels so wonderfully warm and secure.... ]
I'll make you the happiest. [ He doesn't know how exactly, just yet, but he'll find out. ] I'll be the absolute best boyfriend you deserve!
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