313. this is your life?

[andpiisu]

 

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Samuel Vimes | Discworld | OTA

[dukeofankh]

Finally a meme where I can tag my fav book canon XD

[morethanpasta]

Ve~ your Ankh-Morpork is scary! You should add white flags to your Night Watch's gear, though!

[dukeofankh]

"It's a bit..." Vimes tries to find the right word. "Okay, yeah, it's scary. And the white flags would just make them stand out more. Not really what we want."

[morethanpasta]

"But you never know when you need to surrender to someone! White flags are very important when you're in enemy territory!"

Feel free to tag anywhere else, by the way. I don't mind cross-canons on any of my muses!

[dukeofankh]

"Y'see, the crooks think that the city is their terretory. The only slight problem is that it's actually all my terretory, and they're late on the rent. So, my men and I are never in enemy terretory."

He lights a cigar, taking a deep draw. "Besides, what would be the point if the law surrenders?"

I will! :)

[morethanpasta]

He gapes. Puns go completely above this nation personification's head. "Uwah! The criminals have to pay rent? Like protection money? Are you a don?" He hums pensievely. "My brother knows everything about protection money! He has business with the mafia, but they don't treat him well. I don't think I would like it if the law surrenders."

[dukeofankh]

Vimes stares at North Italy like a man trying to decide if he should hurt another man.

"No. I was just saying that the Watch has no need to surrender to criminals."

[morethanpasta]

"Oh! Why didn't you say that?" Italy pouts a bit, people can be so mean!

[dukeofankh]

And just have a totally blank look fired back. "I'll keep that in mind."

[morethanpasta]

"You should!" Have a very solemn nod. "Misunderstandings are very dangerous!"

[dukeofankh]

"Riiiight." Vimes isn't going to waste his breath on explaining sarcasm. "You're a weird kid, y'know?"

[morethanpasta]

"I'm not a kid!" Have a wounded look and pout, which incidentally looks very childish. "I'm older than your city!"

[dukeofankh]

And have a rather suspicious look. "Really? Because you look waaay younger than me."

He then narrows his eyes. "You a vampire or something?"

[morethanpasta]

A vampire? [Wide, wide-eyed stare. Grin. Giggle. Oh yes, have a very loud and delighted giggle.] Ve~ no one ever mistook me for a vampire before! Do I look scary? [He beams.] Uwah! I have to tell Romania!

I'm not a vampire. I'm a country! That's better than a vampire.

[dukeofankh]

Vimes pokes North Italy in the arm. "Now..." He circles the personification, examining him.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but..." He pauses again. "Aren't countries supposed to be...made of rock. And big?"

[morethanpasta]

Italy goes right back to pouting and shooting him a wounded look. He is very good at that. "I'm only eight centimetres shorter than Germany, people don't have to rub it in all the time!"

He coos. "Of course my country is made of rock. Italy has many rocks, I have the Alps and I have volcanoes, too! But I'm the personification of my nation. I'm human-shaped. If I were rock-shaped, I wouldn't be able to talk and move and that would make my life very boring."