1. shh i didn't cheatbrandsMay 14 2011, 00:59:09 UTC
[Fang's felt this way for as long as she can remember, and while it's rare for her to keep her feelings to herself, this is one thing she hasn't wanted to burden Vanille with. The only thing she's ever been afraid to say.]
don't worry, i won't tellrecallsMay 14 2011, 02:07:36 UTC
( Vanille looks up from whatever thing she's doing, picking flowers or something, and nods. She hops up, brushes the palms of her hands off against her skirt. She trots over, bumps her shoulder against Fang's arm, and reaches down to lace their fingers together. )
[Fang begins to walk, her pace slow and leisurely. She's in no rush, and she needs the time to think.] I've got nowhere particular in mind. [She smiles.] Guess we'll find out when we end up there, huh?
[She allows Vanille to swing their arms back and forth, making sure her longer strides fall in step with Vanille's, so that they can walk side by side. She's done so for so long it's like second nature, now.]
It's been a while since we've done this. [She amends.] Just the two of us, that is.
[Fang glances around too, but she keeps her focus mainly on Vanille.] So have I. [How to start this...] We've been together a while now, don't you think? Remember when we first met?
[They've reached a vast, hilly landscape, covered in the wildflowers Fang remembers from her childhood. The looming shadow of Cocoon mars the daytime sky, but she ignores it for once, staring somewhere off into the distance. She crosses her arms and smiles, her expression tinged with nostalgia.] You were a tiny little thing, and you cried all the time. Matron couldn't figure out why you'd taken a liking to me, and neither could I. [She laughs, but there's a sadness about it.] I still can't. It was my job to protect you, but I haven't done much of a bang-up job on that, have I. Usually it's the other way around.
( Vanille watches Fang, head tilted to the side. As attuned as she is to Fang, she senses the change in her demeanor almost immediately. They reminisce sometimes, about Oerba, about their lives before they became l'Cie, but something about the way Fang speaks tells Vanille that this is different.
She doesn't like to see Fang like this - it hurts her when Fang blames herself for things that are her own fault, and she lets her hand drop, frowning. ) We're family! It's our job to take care of each other! ( And, Vanille thinks, she's never been good at protecting Fang. ) So... so don't say that!
( There's a pause, while Vanille gathers her thoughts. ) You're always there to save me. Even when we're not together. ( She looks at the ground, twists her fingers together nervously. She doesn't know what this is about, or what brought it on, but she needs to help Fang, to make her understand she hasn't failed like she thinks she has. ) Whenever I was scared, or sad, I thought of you, and I knew I could make it.
this tag was hard...brandsMay 19 2011, 15:09:52 UTC
[Fang's quiet, listening, and finally she turns to Vanille.] I thought of you too. [She lowers her head.] I think about you all the time. I worry, and I...I don't want you to leave, one day.
[She takes a few steps forward, but she hesitates after a moment. This is the first time she's ever admitted these things, discussed any fear with Vanille in depth. She isn't sure what sort of reaction she'll get.] Every day, I think about how lucky I am to have you.
( It takes all of Vanille's energy not to interrupt, to stand quietly and let Fang speak. She wants to shout at her, to tell her how wrong she is, that she'll never leave, not ever, and that she's the lucky one, to have someone like Fang.
She waits until she's sure Fang has finished, and she rushes forward, clasps Fang's hands between her own. She smiles brightly, but it's false, and barely covers her worry. Her voice is higher-pitched than normal, something Fang will no doubt pick up on. ) We're both lucky, then! ( She nods decisively. ) Right?
my hands began playing as i did this tag. it's a signbrandsMay 21 2011, 03:24:06 UTC
[Fang notices the change in Vanille's voice, the too-bright smile. She knows that it's an attempt to make her feel better, to set her at ease. It doesn't work this time, however. She stares down at their clasped hands, and the smile she knows Vanille wants to see doesn't come.
She reaches up and cups Vanille's face in both her hands. It's a tenderness she only shows around Vanille, but today even it is different.] Vanille. [Inwardly, she takes a deep breath. She wishes she could convey what she means with her eyes alone, that she wouldn't have to say it. She knows, even if she loves Vanille, that Vanille is too kind to reject it, to turn her away. She's too nice for her own good, always has been
( ... )
the universe wants them to make out.recallsMay 31 2011, 07:56:18 UTC
( There's something about the way Fang smiles, the way she touches her, that sets Vanille on edge. There's a fluttering nervousness low in her chest, and it makes her want to stop this, to pull Fang along and laugh and skip up the path until they've both forgotten this strange moment of intensity and seriousness. She is afraid of what Fang has to say, is certain it's something she doesn't want to hear.
But Fang's eyes tell her she has to stay, and Vanille has promised herself, promised Fang, that she won't run away anymore. She knows that if she were to run now, it would hurt Fang immeasurably, and so she can't bring herself to do it. She will be brave, and stand her ground. Next to Fang, she feels suddenly small, fidgety like a bird, but nods with a solemnity she rarely shows. She looks away, eyes darting from the grass to the trees to the sky, trying to clamp down on her rising panic, and finally looks back to Fang.) I understand.
[It's quiet now, save the sounds of nature around them. It's a heavy sort of silence, the quiet before a storm. An expression crosses over Fang's features -- her mouth twists as if she's in pain. Here, with only the two of them, the fear that she clamps down on and ignores day after day threatens to consume her, to freeze her on the spot. But she's come too far now. There's no turning back.]
I... [Her voice catches. She swallows hard, and speaks again. She keeps her eyes on Vanille, drinks in the sight of her, as if she's looking at her for the last time.] I love you, Vanille. I'm in love with you. I've loved you for as long as I can remember, ever since we were kids.
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Hey. Wanna take a walk?
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Where to?
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She falls into step beside Fang with a bounce, swinging their arms back and forth. )
Sounds good to me!
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It's been a while since we've done this. [She amends.] Just the two of us, that is.
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She doesn't like to see Fang like this - it hurts her when Fang blames herself for things that are her own fault, and she lets her hand drop, frowning. ) We're family! It's our job to take care of each other! ( And, Vanille thinks, she's never been good at protecting Fang. ) So... so don't say that!
( There's a pause, while Vanille gathers her thoughts. ) You're always there to save me. Even when we're not together. ( She looks at the ground, twists her fingers together nervously. She doesn't know what this is about, or what brought it on, but she needs to help Fang, to make her understand she hasn't failed like she thinks she has. ) Whenever I was scared, or sad, I thought of you, and I knew I could make it.
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[She takes a few steps forward, but she hesitates after a moment. This is the first time she's ever admitted these things, discussed any fear with Vanille in depth. She isn't sure what sort of reaction she'll get.] Every day, I think about how lucky I am to have you.
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She waits until she's sure Fang has finished, and she rushes forward, clasps Fang's hands between her own. She smiles brightly, but it's false, and barely covers her worry. Her voice is higher-pitched than normal, something Fang will no doubt pick up on. ) We're both lucky, then! ( She nods decisively. ) Right?
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She reaches up and cups Vanille's face in both her hands. It's a tenderness she only shows around Vanille, but today even it is different.] Vanille. [Inwardly, she takes a deep breath. She wishes she could convey what she means with her eyes alone, that she wouldn't have to say it. She knows, even if she loves Vanille, that Vanille is too kind to reject it, to turn her away. She's too nice for her own good, always has been ( ... )
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But Fang's eyes tell her she has to stay, and Vanille has promised herself, promised Fang, that she won't run away anymore. She knows that if she were to run now, it would hurt Fang immeasurably, and so she can't bring herself to do it. She will be brave, and stand her ground. Next to Fang, she feels suddenly small, fidgety like a bird, but nods with a solemnity she rarely shows. She looks away, eyes darting from the grass to the trees to the sky, trying to clamp down on her rising panic, and finally looks back to Fang.) I understand.
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I... [Her voice catches. She swallows hard, and speaks again. She keeps her eyes on Vanille, drinks in the sight of her, as if she's looking at her for the last time.] I love you, Vanille. I'm in love with you. I've loved you for as long as I can remember, ever since we were kids.
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