How is it that this is the way things turn out?
That I have panic attacks until I am here
in this bedroom that is not mine
loved by this family that is just as equally not mine.
That I only work for enough to get out of what is mine
so I can escape to this place I do not own

 I am sucesfully getting really sick again.
Only this time around not only do my joints hurt but my bones ache like crazy on top of it.
Anis is stuck in his house for 7 days and I am not allowed to visit.
or he'll actually become allergic to me, or things I like.
It sounds made up, and it's not.
I am sleeping an incredible amount
and food all pretty much ( Read more... )

 I am currently sitting in Anis' bedroom watching The OC on his laptop while his family rushes around cleaning.
I am in the mood for new clothes and a lot of sleep
Tomorrow is family thanksgiving
I am so not in the mood for family anything
and I just ate two eggs and rice
which is enough to feed a family
I am very full
words for today:
mahi, kaput, khob, ( Read more... )

 I'm waiting for the bus
or waiting to go wait for the bus
and I am confused
and I hate money
because I don't have enough
but I need out
and maybe I jumped to conclusions to fast
now I don't belong here
and my home is in a man
that loves me so much he wants to puke
and I want to puke at the thought of losing all of this
did I miss something in the book the ( Read more... )

Tash is drunk drunk drunk.
He says he punched his woman in the face,
her lip bled,
she spit in his face.
It's okay, he assures,
they don't do this anymore
it was a three year period of their relationship.
Tash drinks moremoremore.
Amir does not look impressed.
Anis and I clingclingcling.
Costco: 2 new matresses
Tash drinks moremoremore
Rolls a joint
weed smells ( Read more... )

This is called the Ihavetopeebuthereisaquickupdateforthesakeofanupdate.

Yesterday I did virtually nothing. Went to see Hairspray and I had to laugh because... well, it's just good times. My cousin believes that that movie truely depicts the 60s. She's a little dense. After that I came home and got limited to no sleep. I woke up at 8 to my mother ( Read more... )

Jobs I've been hired for/ worked at:
1. Home Hardware
2. Bluenotes
3. YMCA (X2)
4. Muskoka Woods
5. The Bay Family Restaurant.
6. Oakville Swim Academy
7. Foot Locker
8. Terra Greenhouse.
9. Ultra Mart
10. Pioneer Pools
11. Party Packagers
12. Value Village
13. The Children's Place

Today I applied to work at Green Earth PART TIME and yesterday I applied to work ( Read more... )

I can not express how unmovitvated I feel to get out of bed let a lone do anything once I've gotten up.
I am going to stop going to work.
and I want to stop going out.
and I want to sleep forever and ever.
And I want to write when I can't sleep anymore.
Until I've said every last thing my mind can remember.
Until every combination of letters and words ( Read more... )

Matt; 9:50 PM:
What are you up to?
Matt; 10:01 PM:
Are you around?
Britt; 10:02 PM:
Hey, nothing really, you?
Matt; 10:03 PM:
Want to meet    second in westdale     asap
Britt; 10:03 PM:
As in today?
Matt; 10:04 PM:
yeah this very night.

She's ordered a tea and leaves all her change in the tip jar, in response to the fool she takes herself for. Hopefully 41 ( Read more... )

It was  time for a new journal.
And. finally I got around to finding a name good enough that wasn't taken.
I am moving.
So I officially, as of yesterday, live on Arlington BLVD.
No one else in my family has moved in yet.
Sleeping in an empty house is kind of exciting.
I love moving.
and I went for a run in the new neighbourhood this morning. WONDERFUL.
( Read more... )