The Seahorse: Chapter 6
**
Chapter 6: Fry
Jensen stands in the parking lot, leaning against his car. It's overcast, the sky hanging in watery gray and white, smell of rain from the night before. The pebbles in the parking lot crunch under his sneakers as he scuffs his foot against the ground and checks his watch for the umpteenth time.
I want her name to be Eve, okay? I need you to make sure that happens.
Jensen stands up. He can waste more time in the locker room if he needs to, but his thoughts are racing wildly. There are tons of ways today could go wrong for him, or for Jared, or for the kid. What if he gets caught, and the board decides that firing him is more important than keeping the case quiet? What if all of a sudden Jared's luck runs out, and this curse-thing really kicks in? What if one or both of them doesn't make it out okay? What if Jared and Chad-what if there's still something there?
He lingers for what seems like forever in the changing room, scrubbing slowly down his arms, washing his hands about ten more times than usual. When he gets to the door, it's open just like Dr. Ferris said it would be. Katie's right there when he opens it, looking at him as she says, "Oh thank God! I'd hug you if it didn't mean I'd have to start all over again!" She holds up her already scrubbed and sterilized hands.
"What's going on?" Jensen asks but figures it out pretty damn quick when he sees Jared on the table-still fully conscious, and holding the anesthesiologist's hand away from him. Dr. Ferris is hanging her head as everyone tries to reason with him, but he stays his ground.
"I said, I'm not starting the surgery until Dr. Ackles gets here, and I don't care, sedating me without my fucking permission? It's illegal. You'll be violating your Hippocratic Oath, so don't even try."
"Jared?" Jensen steps away from Katie, walking towards him. "I'm here."
"Jensen!" Jared's smiling and he lets the poor guy's arm go, finally. The anesthesiologist tries to rub feeling back into his wrist.
"Hey, how's my little seahorse?" Jensen says, leaning over him.
"Craptacular. Are you wearing glasses?" Jensen nods, signaling with his hand to let the anesthesiologist know it's okay to bring the mask over.
"Yeah, I usually wear them for surgery, in case my contacts move out of place or something. I can't really stop and stick my finger in my eye when it's all covered in baby gunk, now can I?"
Jared laughs and the mask is placed over his mouth.
"I want you to just breathe in, and relax, okay? You're gonna be great today." Jensen smiles, and even if Jared can't see it, he knows Jared feels it, already giving him heavy-lidded, dreamy eyes.
"You... look nice... with them..."
"Count backwards from ten for me," the anesthesiologist says.
"Ten... nine..." Jared's eyes slip shut. They start the local, the saline drip, and everything else falls into place when Dr. Ferris picks up her head and says. "Okay, team, this is a high-risk procedure. We're going to defy all known medical and biological science today, and we're going to take it slow, and easy. We're going to do everything we can for both our patients. And then we're going to go home and pretend it never, ever happened. So if everything goes according to plan, the first round at Flannigan's is on me."
The team gives a little whoop, and begins right away, cutting into Jared. Jensen stands by-surgery this complex isn't his specialty. He's just there to support Dr. Ferris alongside Katie, to be there for Jared.
The baby is their biggest concern, observing her vitals and taking care of her once the delivery is successful. Neither of them is a specialist in abnormal or high-risk surgery, but the other doctors convened by the hospital board are. They've flown in from all over the country, and two of them are from some Swedish clinic where they've allegedly performed a similar operation before -Jensen doesn't even want to know.
Jensen looks up, and in the stadium Mr. Padalecki is glaring daggers at him, sitting next to what Jensen assumes is Jared's mother. His brother and sister sit beside them, looking scared and confused.
And on the opposite end, Sandy, Milo, and Chad watch them. Milo looks a little green around the gills; he's not dealing too well with the blood, if Jensen had to guess. Sandy's staring at them, her mouth hanging open. Chad's actually standing at the edges of the stadium, as close as he can possibly be, fingers pressed up against the glass.
"Dr. Ackles, we're ready for you and Nurse Cassidy, stand by," Dr. Ferris says, and Jensen snaps to attention, moving closer to the table.
The baby is gray, covered in blood, and mucous and afterbirth, and it's all very rote to Jensen, but the second she opens her little mouth, screaming and wailing at the contact, at the air filling her lung, everything slows down. Jensen's aware he's holding her, checking her reactions, counting fingers and toes while the umbilical cord is cut by one of the surgeons. Then it's just her, this squirming mass of life in his hands, messy and protesting. It's the same as it always is, they're cleaning her off, counting off the APGAR scale, calibrating her weighing and-
And it's like nothing Jensen's ever felt before. This baby-there's never going to be another like her in the world. And she may never know why.
"Hi, Eve," Jensen whispers, ignoring Katie's "aww." Jensen walks her over to the stadium edge, right where Chad's standing, staring. Jensen holds her so Chad can see, nodding to let him know she's okay. Chad's face lights up and he's laughing, talking but Jensen can't hear. He sees Chad shout over towards where the Padaleckis are sitting, and then he pulls out what looks like a legal document. Jensen realizes it must be the contract Mr. Padalecki wanted him to sign-forfeiting his parental rights. Chad tears it up, shredding the pieces and tossing them into the air.
Jensen smiles and looks to Katie. "Let's get her to the nursery. I think her father would like to say hello. Dr. Ferris?"
"Go ahead, we're good here. Another hour and we'll have him closed up- just have to keep it clean, I don't want to risk leaving behind any of what we're assuming is the placenta, the tissues might become infected, or cause a bleed-out," Dr. Ferris says, turning to nod at the surgical team. "I need suction over here."
Jensen points to Chad and the others, signaling them towards the exit, and the nursery. Chad nods, following along, unable to tear his eyes away.
**
"She's-oh God, she's so amazing," Chad says, rubbing the corner of his eyes. "Am I doing this right?" he asks Katie.
"Yep, you've got her head supported. Honey, you're a natural at this," she says, reassuring him.
"Hi, hi, baby. Hi little girl that has my nose," Chad says softly to the baby in his arms.
Jensen watches him. "Eve, Jared said her name should be Eve."
Chad tests it out. "Hi Eve. Evie, Eve-babygirl. Eve, no boys until you're 25! Promise me?" Chad laughs, looking up at them. "It's funny, everything just, changes and it's like-amazing and I'm giddy and I think I might pass out, but I don't want to put her down!"
Katie beams at him, and then her smile drops. "Uhhh, Jensen, they're out of surgery. You might want to..." Katie says, gesturing towards Dr. Ferris and the Padalecki family, charging down the hallway towards them. Mr. Padalecki looks even more severe than usual, if such a thing is possible.
"Oh, this is going to be pleasant," Chad mumbles. "Don't worry, Eve, I won't let the bad man get you."
"I'll see you at the bar," Jensen says, backing away from them quickly.
"I'll call you!" Katie says as he takes off down the hall, laughing as Mr. Padalecki shouts after him.
**
Jensen spends most of the rest of the day texting back and forth with Katie-updates on Jared's recovery, how long it takes for his face to stop looking jaundiced from the shock of the surgery and the blood-loss. Katie tells Jensen when he wakes up later, but he still isn't okay for visitors; he just sort of slips in and out of consciousness.
Update: Pops just left. Mom and the Babydaddy still here. Let's go drink!! She texts him around 4 pm.
That night at the bar, the surgical team's whooping it up. Katie scoffs. "God, it's such a Boys club." Jensen rolls his eyes. "Oh, except for you, Jensen, you don't count." She smiles and he tosses a pretzel stick at her forehead.
"Hey! I can guarantee I've seen more pussy then all of them, combined," Jensen complains.
"Yes, but can you do a kegstand while performing a bypass?" Dr. Ferris asks as she joins their table.
"Guess I'll never be like those awesome people on Grey's Anatomy," Jensen says.
"Ugggghhh! Stop talking about that show!" Katie practically screams as Jensen and Dr. Ferris laugh.
"So, did you hear the news?" Dr. Ferris asks Jensen. Before he can answer Katie picks her head up.
"Oh! Oh yeah, Jensen! The best thing happened!" she says, frantically waving her arms as she starts to describe it. "So, since Chad's pretty much made up his mind that he's gonna raise her as his daughter, and man, you should see it, he is freakin' obsessed with holding her-and I mean Jared's still too out of it to hold up his own little finger but that's mostly because of the shock of the surgery and the blood-loss. He'll probably be tossing her up in the air by this weekend-if he can get Chad to let go of her long enough that is, the nurse had to feed her the formula while Chad held on!"
Dr. Ferris interrupts. "What Katie is trying to get at, is that both Chad and Jared have decided to keep Eve as their own. They've decided to work out a joint custody situation."
"Translation: Eve has two daddies. One of whom is not going off to Europe anytime soon." Katie sits back in her seat, smugly satisfied look on her face.
Something pings inside of Jensen. A stab of nervousness perhaps, smile bubbling up to the surface as he covers his face by holding up his glass of beer like he's going to take a drink. "That's great."
"So, Dr. Ackles-Jensen," Dr. Ferris clears her throat. "What are your plans for Sunday?"
"Uhh, nothing really?"
"Well, you didn't hear it from us," she starts.
"Of course not," Jensen confirms.
"But you should probably be in the hospital lobby, around early afternoon." Dr. Ferris sips her beer.
"Yeah and bring him flowers and candy and something for the baby." Katie crosses her arms. "Like a stuffed animal or one of those mobiles with the little puffy stars and moons."
Jensen sighs. "Wow, you're great at this stealth business, Katie."
"I'm drunk, and you'd better wrap it up mister," Katie smirks waving a hand at his crotch, "'Cause I don't want the kid back in the damn stirrups again next month when you've knocked him up!" Katie hiccups and laughs to herself. "God damn I'm awesome. Where's my boyfriend? I'ma call him and he can tell me how awesome I am," she says, taking out her cell phone.
"Lightweight," Dr. Ferris says quietly.
**
It's early Sunday morning and Jensen's already at the hospital, refusing to be even a second late, and coldly rejecting the idea of another day spent pacing his apartment waiting for a phone calls, a text messages, any kind of message from Jared or Katie about anything at all. He literally hasn't spoken to Jared since just before the surgery and it's making him crazy.
He loiters around the gift shop, contemplating balloon bouquets when he spots it, in the stuffed animal racks, right next to the teddy bears and hidden among some old Finding Nemo toys-a huge stuffed purple seahorse. It's just too perfect, Jensen thinks, picking it up to admire it in full.
It's then that his phone rings. He glances at the caller ID and then answers, "Katie! I'm just finishing up in the gift shop, where should I meet you-"
"Jensen, you have to come upstairs right now!" Katie interrupts, and someone in the background starts shouting. Jensen drops the toy on the floor and starts heading for the exit.
"What is it, Katie what's going on? Did something happen?"
"I said tell him not to come!" a voice on the other end of the phone yells. Jensen's really starting to worry.
"Katie?"
Katie's voice again. "Stop, will you let go of my phone? You need to get your head out of your ass and-"
"Tell him I don't want him to come!" and Jensen finally recognizes the voice.
It's Jared.
"Jensen? Jensen don't listen to that, he doesn't mean-" Jensen clicks the phone shut before she finishes.
**
Jensen doesn't leave right away-he really should in case one of the higher-ups spots him, but instead he wanders around the ground floor. He finally eyes Jared and his mother and sister saying their goodbyes to the staff.. Chad's there too, Sandy and Milo as well, all cooing over the baby Jared's holding. He hands her off to Chad after a lot of fussing and what Jensen assumes is banter between two friends.
He looks closer at Jared, at his body when he stands up from the wheelchair, stretching out. Even when Jensen first met Jared, his stomach was curving outward, if only slightly. Jensen's never seen him as he is now, all lithe and lanky and long-bodied. Jared's wearing jeans that sit perfect and low on his hips, distressed at the knees, and he's got a long-sleeved shirt on underneath a short-sleeved one and even through all the layers Jensen can picture his body-tight, firm chest stretching out the fabric in the right places, slight bit of skin showing when he stretches his arms out over his head and yawns.
Jared shakes Dr. Ferris' hand, thanking her. Mike's there too, and Jared shakes his hand as well, while Mike gives Jared a professional and polite goodbye. Then Katie's pouting at him, her arms crossed and her face unpleasant. He lets her rant at him for a minute before he grabs her up in his arms, her little feet suspended, and spins her around in the air until even Jensen can hear her laughing and shouting, "Uncle! I forgive you, put me down, you freak!"
"He used to do that to me all the time." Jared's little sister says, and Katie sticks out her tongue at Jared.
"You're still being a huge asshole."
Jared frowns. "What can I say? I had a fantastic role model at home..." Jared's mother hushes him.
Katie smirks and they wave goodbye one last time as Jared's family and friends all leave for the parking lot.
Jensen watches from his hiding place before Mike spots him. "Jensen! Hey!" Mike walks over, touching his shoulder. "You're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm such an idiot."
"What? That? No, no, Jensen he's just-"
"Three years into my residency and I forget the some of the basic principles of human biology in a matter of months. Hormones make you do crazy things-make you say things you don't actually mean. Shit, at least we didn't actually-it'd be like taking advantage of a drunk guy, y'know?"
"Oh, Jensen, no..."
Jensen jams his hands in his pockets and brushes right by him. "You were right, and you can do your little endzone dance for me later. I gotta get some rest for my six-month long shift of clinic duty."
**
It's been three months, maybe four. Jensen's stopped keeping track of time, just makes sure he eats, sleeps, and gets to the clinic on time in the morning. In the end, it's not that bad a punishment. Immersing himself in busywork is exactly what he needs to start getting over Jared.
Of course it's just a façade, really, because all the pain comes rushing the back the second Jensen opens the door to Exam Room 21 and sees Chad sitting on the table, swinging his feet back and forth. In a flash, pain turns to anger and Jensen narrows his eyes. "What the fuck do you think you're doing here? Wasting space and valuable time in a free clinic when someone in need of medical care is out there right now still waiting to see someone."
"Uhhh, I'm pregnant?" Chad answers meekly.
"I am going to kill Katie," Jensen says, shaking his head. He walks towards the phone on the wall. "But first, I'm calling security unless you agree to leave on your own."
"Wait, dude, hear me out."
"Security," Jensen says as he pushes the call button.
"C'mon, man! After what-after what happened? You're not even giving me a chance? You're really gonna punish me for something I didn't do?"
"What seems to be the problem?" a voice asks over the intercom.
Chad clasps his hands together, hopping off of the exam table and begging him. "One minute! Just give me one minute to explain and then I'll leave, I promise!"
Jensen lets out a breath. "Never mind, false alarm." Then, holding up his wrist to look at his watch, he says, "You have sixty seconds. Go."
"You need to call Jared. Wait, fuck that, you need to come see him. You two, the both of you, you need to see each other and you're both too goddamn stubborn! The only reason you haven't heard from him is the same reason he hasn't heard from you. Because you both think that you like each other more than the other and you don't, okay? You're both stupid, crazy, lame-ass dorky gay guys and you're both in love with each other, and if you don't get it together you're going to be miserable for the rest of your lives, and I have a daughter now, y'know? I'm somebody's parent and Jared told me that everything changes when you are. He said he heard that from you, that it was exactly what he needed to figure out. And well, you were right, everything's changed."
Chad smiles, dreamy. "God, she's just so incredible, y'know? And I know you love her already. You loved her the second you held her, because that's when I fell in love with her too. Right there in the delivery room, when I was watching you and you were holding her up and she was just so, so real, y'know? Real and perfect and amazing; and I don't blame you, she's got like, my genes so she's at least made up of half-100% awesome if not more, I forget the math here, Jay's gotta be like, awesome-recessive so I'm pretty sure she's like 75% awesome, 25% dork. Which I can deal with, gotta love your kids no matter what, right? And I do." Chad takes a deep breath. "Still time?"
"Twenty seconds," Jensen says.
"Good. So you love each other. You love the kid. You have this big empty apartment with wall-to-wall carpeting and pillow shammies and Jared is clawing at the walls trying to live in his teeny-tiny studio and it's covered in plaster and clay and he still has acid there leftover from his etching projects, for Christ's sake! It's not a place for him to raise a baby. And why can't you two just fucking figure it out already?"
Jensen's mouth tightens. "Is that all?"
Chad slides off the exam table. "Yeah. Oh, except for the fact that you're an asshole if you don't come with me. I'm gonna wait in the parking lot for twenty minutes, that's more than enough time for you to clock out, change clothes, and buy him a stuffed animal from the gift shop. Yeah, I said him. So go do that, and come find me so I can drive you over there." And Chad walks out of the exam room, slamming the door behind him.
Jensen actually makes it to the parking lot with two minutes to spare, sliding into the passenger seat of Chad's car, and pointedly staring straight ahead, the gigantic stuffed seahorse sitting in his lap.
Chad just smiles and starts the engine.
"He-he really told you what my apartment was like?" Jensen says as they pull out of the lot.
"Dude, if I hear one more Jensen story, I swear I'm gonna be the one to show up at your place, holding up a boombox and blasting Peter Gabriel. You're like the second coming of Johnny Depp to him. And you really gotta understand. Jay loves him some Johnny Depp."
**
Jared's studio has changed. It's a little cleaner for one thing, the only exception being the conspicuous pile of lumber off to one side near the doorway. But other than that, most of the clutter is gone, likely boxed up in the various cardboard boxes and egg-crates on one side of the room; there is also a child-proof lock on the corrosive cabinet. The floor has been swept, and there are mismatched throw rugs throughout the room. The paint splatters and stains on the wall have been touched up-it looks like Jared's getting ready to paint a mural of some kind: he's taped off little squares of various bursts of color.
The tatty and worn-in couch is still in the center of the room, and Jared's passed out on it. He's wearing a threadbare t-shirt, looks like he's been painting or working in it because it's dotted with paint and there are holes near the hem and neck. His jeans are just as bad, if not worse, with big paint stains on the knees. Jensen thinks it's probably intentional; he actually looks pretty cool like that.
Chad clicks his teeth when he sees that Jared's all curled up with Eve in his arms, a washcloth on his shoulder from where he must have been burping her. He's got her held close to his chest, but Chad must have experience with performing such a delicate operation, because he somehow extracts his daughter without disturbing Jared's nap. Eve makes a small sound, a breath or a soft sigh, and Chad kisses her head gently, lulling her back to sleep in his arms.
"Hi, hi baby!" he coos quietly. "Daddy missed you, yes he did, yes he did!"
Jensen cocks an eyebrow at him.
Chad shrugs. "After a while I just kinda accepted the fact that I'll vomit babytalk whenever she's around. It doesn't even embarrass me anymore. I mean, it drives Sophia nuts when we're in public and she says it makes her feel like the man," Chad explains.
"Sophia?"
"Oh yeah, you'll meet her one of these days." Chad walks over to where Jared used to have the walk-in-closet for his pieces. The pile of lumber on the floor makes sense now; he must have ripped out all the shelves to make room for the crib and the changing table he's got set up in there. The walls are painted pale green and lavender with patterns all along the ceiling. "Hey, I want you to see something cool. Stay right there," Chad says as he gently places Eve in her crib, covering her with a blanket.
Chad walks over to the couch and sits down next to Jared, shushing Jensen with a finger to his lips. He taps Jared on the shoulder, saying his name. "Jared? Jared, wake up."
Jared rolls over and wraps his arms around Chad like he's a giant teddybear or a pillow. "Jensen..." he mumbles and nuzzles Chad's face with his nose.
Jensen's mouth drops open as Chad just stares straight at him, not flinching. "Try again, Jay."
Jared sighs with disappointment, eyes still shut. "Damn it, Chad-"
"Yup, sorry, big guy."
"I miss him," Jared murmurs.
"He misses you too, right, Jensen?" And Jared's eyes open, looking at Chad and then he turns his head to see Jensen standing in front of them.
Jensen is still holding the giant stuffed seahorse. He only realizes his mouth is hanging open when he has to close it in order to say, "Hi, Jared."
"Chad, remember when I told you that I wasn't mad at you and that we'd always be best friends-no matter what?" Jared says through a clenched jaw.
"Yes."
"I take that back. I hate you so much right now."
"Jared, you're um, you're still holding me-squeezing! Shoulders fracturing! Can't breathe," Chad gasps, scrunching his face tight with the pain.
"Jared," Jensen says, biting his lip. "Please don't be mad at him." And Jared lets Chad go, his arms dropping to his sides.
"Jensen," Jared breathes.
"Well! I'm gonna take Eve home now. We're visiting the folks tomorrow, and I'm probably going to have to put her back to sleep all over again when we get to my place," Chad says.
Jared doesn't respond and neither does Jensen, still standing in front of him, trying to find the right words.
"Wow, okay, you two enjoy this whole-staring at each other like creepy stalkers thing," Chad mutters, gathering up Eve's bags and the car-seat. He takes Eve in his arm, practiced enough to juggle everything while still managing to flip them a wave. "You crazy kids have fun, say bye-bye to Daddy, Evie..." Chad waves her little hand at them and closes the door.
"I got this for you," Jensen finally says, holding out the seahorse for Jared.
Jared shakes his head, laughing, standing up and taking the stuffed animal from Jensen. "Thanks, I'm sure Eve'll grow into it," he says, putting it down on the couch behind him.
"I said it's for you, Jared." And Jared barks out a laugh, turning to face Jensen.
"You look good, Jensen," he says.
"You look... like a father," Jensen offers.
"Ugh, I know, it's bad isn't it? Do my bags have bags?" Jared asks, pointing at the dark circles under his eyes. "Seriously, how can someone sleep so much and still wake me up all the time?"
Jensen chuckles. "Just one of life's little mysteries, I guess?"
"Yeah," Jared says, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "So, how's things? With um, work?"
"It's good, busy but-yeah it's been okay." Jensen swallows. "How is Eve doing?"
Jared sort of stares out into the middle distance. "Man, she's the best, Jensen. Sometimes I just-" Jared looks down at his feet, pausing. "I can't imagine my life without her."
"I'm glad you-"
"I miss you something awful, though." Jared interrupts.
Jensen's heart beats hard and the blood surges to his head as he grabs Jared by the arms and kisses him, hard, shoving him down on the couch. The stuffed seahorse cushions Jared's fall backwards.
"Jen-Jensen, oh fuck, Jensen!"
"I'm not even doing anything fun yet," Jensen smiles, kissing his way down Jared's chest, adjusting himself to lie on top of Jared's body. He's working Jared's shirt off, and once that goes, he really wants to start working Jared's fly open, but Jensen doesn't seem to want to give up running his fingers through Jared's hair as he kisses him, tastes him all over again.
"Fuck, Jensen, do you realize how long it's been for me?" Jared groans. "It's been..." Jared goes still beneath him, then sits up. Jensen stops kissing his collar to look at Jared. He's nestled nicely in his lap, straddling his hips. "Jared?"
"It's been a year, since St. Patrick's day. Fuck, I can't do this."
Jensen bites his lips. "Um, we'll use a condom."
"No, that's not what I meant. Jensen, I've had time to think about this."
"Always a dangerous thing," Jensen says, biting Jared's lower lip and running his tongue from side-to-side across the skin.
"Jenmmff," Jared says against the press of his mouth. He pushes Jensen away, shaking his head. "Jensen, listen to me. I can't-we can't do this, really. I want you. I want you so bad it hurts. But it's not fair to you, or to Eve. I can't just have a sexual relationship with you," Jared says.
"I want more than that too, Jared. I want a real relationship and-"
"And that's the point! I can't start dating you right now. It's not fair to Eve and it's not fair to you, and you know who I'll have to choose."
"I'm not asking you to choose between us, Jared."
"But I'll have to, because I can't ask you to be a father!" Jared shouts in frustration, then gets quiet.
Jensen's expression softens.
"God, how could I ask you to give up your life for the next thirty years just because we're good together? Because if you want me, it's a package deal now, and I can't force you into parenthood like that." Jared stirs in Jensen's grip until he lets go, letting him stand up and walk over to where his shirt landed. Jared puts it on slowly.
"You should just go. Jensen, if we do this, even once, you know it's just gonna drive us crazy, right? Let's just make a clean break of it."
Jensen's quiet, everything Jared's saying running through his mind. Everything about him, about how he comes along with Eve in tow. About how it can't be that easy, can't just be handed to him on a silver platter like that, a family, the right guy for him. That the other shoe is going to drop, the downside of this has to be there. It can't just be that easy, that perfect.
And then he thinks about never, ever seeing Jared or Eve again.
"Ask me," Jensen says, breaking the silence. "Ask me to be a father."
"Jensen?"
Jensen stands up, crossing the room to where Jared's standing. "Ask me to be a father. Ask me if I love you as much as I love her. Ask me what it was like the first time I held her. Ask me what I felt the moment she was born. Ask me how my entire life changed the moment I laid eyes on you. Ask me how I couldn't stop it, no matter how hard I tried. Ask me what I felt when you first kissed me, when you let me touch you. Ask me to be a father, ask me to be a part of your life. Ask me to make you and Eve mine."
Jared doesn't speak, just makes a broken sound in his throat.
"Move in with me. I've got this big, empty apartment that I'm never in because I'm always working. I have a huge spare room with a desk and a chair against one wall because I don't know what else to do with it. I've got shag carpeting so she won't get splinters when she runs around without shoes like her father does-"
"My feet like to stretch out," Jared mumbles and bites his lip. "What if we break up?"
"I'd never stop being your friend."
"What if we do?"
"I love Eve too much to do that to her."
"What if it's a big mistake? We've never spent more than a night together."
"We've spent months together, Jared."
Jared turns around. "Jensen, it's crazy. It can't just, y'know magically work out like that."
Jensen sighs, placing his head on Jared's shoulder, wrapping his arms around him. "Let me do this for you. Let me just take care of you, Jared." Jensen kisses his neck, the juncture in-between the neck and his collar. Jared moans quietly in the back of his throat and Jensen nuzzles his ear.
"I promise I'll protect you, no more Egyptian curses," Jensen whispers.
Jared laughs, lifting his head and turning so Jensen can kiss his lips, lightly. "I decided it wasn't a curse after all."
"Yeah?" Jensen says, running his hands under Jared's shirt, rubbing his flat stomach.
"Mmm, Eve can't possibly be a curse. She's a gift." Jared turns around, grabbing Jensen by the waist and pulling him flush against his body and kissing him. "Getting to meet you? Was a gift."
"See? This is why you should move in with me," Jensen says. "Maybe this is a gift, some kind of big reward for getting through it, for hell I don't know, for surviving the wrath of some Egyptian fertility god and coming out of it with a beautiful, perfect daughter and-"
"And you," Jared says holding him tight. He leans in close, letting his lips dance across Jensen's mouth as he whispers, "I'm so in love with you right now."
"I love you too, Jared," Jensen says, kissing him, pushing them back onto the couch. "Now, what was that about tearing my clothes off with your teeth?" Jensen asks when he pulls back, running his lips down Jared's chin, nipping at him.
"Those were your scrubs, Jensen, and God damn if you don't look sexy in them."
"That's Dr. Ackles to you," Jensen teases as he gets Jared's shirt off again, and this time deftly unhooks his belt and unzips his fly.
"Oh, are we playing doctor now?"
"Mmm-hmm. Now I want you to take a deep breath and relax. This won't hurt a bit." Jensen says, covering Jared's cock with his hand.
"You're sure I won't feel a little prick?"
Jensen licks his palm. "Ohh not a little one, not a little one at all."
"Fuck, Jensen it's been a year. I'm out of innuendo and I'm going to explode."
"Well then, I'd say it's time to operate," Jensen says, stroking Jared. "Open you up, see what we can do."
Jared throws his head back. "Nnngh, lube, condoms, lots of condoms in my desk drawer, over there," Jared says, gesturing to his drafting-table.
"Lots of condoms?" Jensen muses, teasing Jared's big, thick cock with his fingertips, precome starting to drip.
"I'd-I'd say we should use three if that actually worked." Jared swallows. "God damn it, Jensen, slow down, fuck! No one's touched me like this in a year and if you-if you fucking make me come before, before we-uhhn!" Jared slams his head back on the couch pillows. "I'll never forgive you," he mumbles.
Jensen holds his tongue in-between his teeth, looking at Jared through heavy lids. He's so fucking beautiful like this, all frustrated and flushed beneath him. But he does want more, wants to move inside him. So he lets go of Jared, climbs off the couch quickly, hearing him groan at the loss of contact. Jensen finds the drawer full of assorted odds and ends; pencils, band-aids, lube, and smiley-faced condom lollipops that he's surprised Jared held on to.
It was the first day they met, when Jensen told him he couldn't be pregnant, just ogled him in that paper-thin-hospital gown, the one that opened in the front-
Jensen shakes off his reverie and grabs a handful of newer-looking condoms, quickly checking the expiration dates before walking back to Jared on the couch. He really can't shake that doctor-mindset.
Jared's stripping naked, and quickly goes to work on helping Jensen along the way, hands busy pulling zippers and button and fumbling with the condoms and lube Jensen found.
"God, it really has been a year for you?" Jensen asks.
"Fuck me now or get out!" Jared says, voice trembling. "Sorry, sorry, that was the -"
"Hormones talking? I mean, I know that post-birth rollercoaster can be tricky for-mmmph!"
Jared crushes his mouth to Jensen's, hard. He doesn't last much longer after Jensen's moving inside him. But he comes hot and wet against Jensen's stomach, groaning "I love you," along Jensen's collarbone. And then surprising him with, "Again, fucking all night long. C'mon, I'm out of practice."
**
Everything's quiet when they finally settle on the couch. Jared's well-fucked and snoring lightly. Jensen's playing with Jared's hair as he dozes.
Everything's going to change.
And he couldn't be happier.
**
Epilogue: Cradle You in The Palm of Me