The Seahorse: Chapter 3
**
Chapter 3: Syngnathidae
It's been an interesting first few weeks. Jared's nearly three months along and everything is still fine, which continues to disturb Dr. Ferris to no end; so Jensen has to constantly run bloodwork and test his amniotic fluid and do multiple x-rays and ultrasounds. And then, she demands they give Jared an MRI.
"Dr. Ferris wants to scan my brain?" Jared asks when Katie and Jensen explain the procedure to him. "Why?"
"Well, we're just covering all of our bases," Jensen says.
"You still think I'm crazy."
Jensen shakes his head. "No, Jared, that isn't it at all-"
"Then why do you need to look at my brain?" Jared almost whines.
"Dr. Ferris just wants to make sure we haven't missed anything in our diagnostics. Nothing wrong with being extra-careful." Jensen tries to explain as Katie brings out the wheelchair.
"I can walk, y'know," Jared says stubbornly, getting out of the bed.
"Hospital rules, get in the chair or I'll gnaw your ankles off," Katie says, mock-threatening him. Jared smiles slightly. "Ahh! See, I knew I could get you, now c'mon," she says, and Jared sighs and sits in the wheelchair awkwardly, his long legs not quite fitting right.
The MRI technician seems to be wary of the three of them, and wonders why they won't tell him what exactly they're looking for. But the hospital board of directors has basically given Jensen and Katie access to any and all diagnostic equipment.
Jared looks up at Jensen, he's biting down hard on the side of his mouth. "Um, so does this hurt?"
Jensen shakes his head as he and Katie help Jared lie down while the machine warms up. "It's just an MRI, the FDA regulates these very closely. The radiation shouldn't harm you or the um-" Jensen takes a deep breath. "Your baby."
Jared lays down flat on the table. "It's weird for me to say it too."
"Hmm?" Jensen asks.
"Saying it makes it more, I dunno, real. Right, Dr. Ackles? And maybe part of me is so not ready for a real baby." The machine starts to whir and Jared's startled, grabbing the sides of the table as it starts to move him into the machine. "Um! Is this normal!" he shouts over the noise.
Jensen's there at his side, speaking calmly. "It's okay, it really is. It won't hurt at all, you're head just goes in there and then there's some clicking sounds and hey, I promise you can see all the pictures of your brain when we're done."
The table moves closer and closer to the inside of the machine and Jared shouts. "Stop! Stop it! Stop! Stop!" his chest is heaving up and down and he's panicking.
"Tell him to stop moving and I'll power down!" the MRI tech yells and Jensen leans in close.
"Jared?"
"I'm think I'm claustrophobic," Jared says, panic in his eyes. "Please, Dr. Ackles, there has to be another test you can do?"
"Jared, calm down, we're here, and nothing will happen to you in there, Dr. Ackles and I promise, right?" Katie says, looking at Jensen.
"Jared, you can do this, okay, like I said it's just your head that goes in there." Jensen reassures him.
"So, are we doing this or not?" the technician asks impatiently.
"It's quick, Jared. You won't feel a thing," Katie says.
Jared nods and closes his eyes tight. "Do it before I change my mind again."
Jensen signals the tech and the table starts moving again, Jared's head disappearing in the machine. He makes a whimpering sound, and suddenly his hand darts out, grabbing a fistful of Jensen's scrubs.
"Shhh, it's okay," Jensen says, removing Jared's hand, and his fingers lock with Jensen's.
"Don't let go," he hears Jared echo from inside the machine.
Katie makes an "awww"-face and Jensen ignores her, squeezing his hand back.
"I'm not going anywhere."
**
Katie and Jensen bring Jared back to his room, and Dr. Ferris pages Jensen the second he walks inside. He reads the message and sighs. "Jared, I'm sorry but it looks like Dr. Ferris wants another ultrasound today."
"Okay," Jared says, pulling at the sheets on his bed. "D'you think you could give me like a few minutes to um, just-I'm kind of nauseous."
Jensen nods. "Of course."
Katie smiles at him. "You did really, really well today, Jared. We'll be back in fifteen minutes, okay?"
"Okay," Jared says, hand resting on top on the slight curve of his stomach.
"If we douse the kid with much more radiation, it's going to come out with a tail," Katie says under her breath as they leave the room.
Assuming 'the kid' makes it that far, Jensen thinks to himself, morbidly.
**
Jared's adjusted fairly well considering that he's confined to a single room on a restricted floor of Grace's Heart. His room looks more and more like a dorm every day, what with the flat-screen TV, videogames, DVD shelves, card tables and a mini-fridge. Katie has been using it to store the pudding cups she swipes from the cafeteria, along with little boxes of juice. "It's better than the fridge in the staff lounge, Jensen, I swear Nurse Roberts always takes everything I put in there," Katie whines. Jared likes the pudding, too, now that he's not throwing up as much, and the tiny pyramid constructed from empty boxes on the roll-out cart is testament to Jared's love of apple juice.
Occasionally Jared's friends, Milo and Sandy, will drop by for a few hours. But mostly it's just Jared with Katie, Mike or Jensen attending to him. Jensen's starting to feel like Jared's a timeshare.
"Hey seahorse, let's go," Jensen says, walking into Jared's room and flipping open his clipboard. "Dr. Ferris wants another blood sample."
There are the usual groans from the side of the room. Katie and Jared are sitting at the small card-table, playing for the ante of junk food between them, Jensen assumes.
"I'm not a seahorse," Jared mutters. Jensen would drop the nickname if he really thought it bothered him, but he's got the feeling Jared likes it: Jared's hiding a smile behind his cards.
"Yes, you are, let's go," Jensen says.
"Seahorses have brood pouches, y'know, I Wikipedia-ed it." Katie smiles. "I'm pretty sure that's not a pouch. Unless you're gonna have a Roo, now." Katie angles her head towards the bump that's begun to show on Jared's stomach.
Jared looks up at him, tugging down his shirt. "Can we finish one more hand, Dr Ackles?"
Jensen sighs. "If you give me a vein, you can keep playing. I need to get out of here soon or I'm gonna be late."
Jared takes the cards with one hand and sticks out his arm, elbow down. Jensen quickly starts tying it off. "Y'know, this is something a nurse usually does."
"Too bad she's not on until she starts her marathon weekend duty. Got any threes?"
"Go fish." Jared bites down on his lip and looks up at the ceiling as Jensen runs his fingers over his arm, looking for a vein. "So, uh, where're you going? That you don't want to-ow!"
Jensen squeezes his shoulder. "Hey, kiddo. I didn't even touch you yet. Relax."
"But you were going to!"
"I'm watching the game tonight with a friend," Jensen says.
"You have a friend?" Katie gasps and Jared chuckles. That's when Jensen slides the needle in quickly. Katie eyes Jared and ribs Jensen more, so Jared keeps laughing, ignoring the fact that Jensen's not quite done. Jensen gets his sample, though, and slides the needle out, immediately covering it with a piece of cotton and a band-aid.
"You can say 'ow' now. I'm finished," Jensen says, tossing his latex gloves into the hazmat bin.
"Oh." Jared looks down at his arm. "You know, you're better at this than your nurse is, Dr. Ackles."
Katie kicks him under the table and sticks out her tongue.
"Flattery will get you everywhere, you know." Jensen flips them both a wave. "Nurse Cassidy, have a good weekend. Jared, you page me if there's any trouble. Otherwise I'll be in the clinic all day tomorrow."
Katie wrinkles her nose. "Ugh, is Dr. Sam still making you do twenty hours?"
Jared looks down at his feet, guilty expression on his face. It makes Jensen worry his mouth.
"Dr. Ferris isn't out of line here, it's better that I do them. It wouldn't be fair to the other doctors who have to do clinic hours on top of their normal workloads. I don't mind it at all, really," Jensen says. Jared looks up at him, a little brighter. "So I'll see you later tomorrow?"
"See you," Jared says. Katie smirks and swipes a Twizzler from the pile while Jared's head is turned.
**
"So you know he's convinced he's in love with you, right?" Mike says after the end of the first quarter.
Jensen whips his head away from the basketball game on TV, nearly choking on a piece of pepperoni. "What? Who?"
Mike waves his hands. "Y'know, Jared Padalecki? Pregnant guy, about six feet tall; you've met him, right?"
Jensen rolls his eyes. "Oh God, yeah, I know. It's just a crush." He smiles. "It's actually kinda cute if you think about it-"
Mike shakes his head and puts down his slice of pizza. "Look, we have to talk about this. If it's going to become more than a crush, it's going to be a lot of trouble for you, Jensen. And I think you're getting a little too attached to him."
"So he has a crush on me. He's going through a lot of crap right now that most guys never, ever anticipate having to deal with. Doesn't it make sense that he'd-"
"I'm not worried about him, I'm worried about you doing something dumb. Like dumb enough to get yourself fired." Mike's face is stone-cold serious.
Jensen recoils, snatching back his beer. "The hell are you talking about?"
"Look, it's simple-"
"Oh lord," Jensen groans. "You're gonna analyze me?"
Mike swallows. "Look, if you don't want to hear it, fine. All I'm saying is-"
"I know what you're saying. 'Keep it in your pants, Jensen.'"
"And, stop flirting with the kid, okay? Calling him names, you're gonna lead him on."
Jensen pouts into his beer. "It's just a stupid little crush."
"Have you called Tom yet?" Mike asks.
Jensen doesn't answer, just focuses on the game, not talking to Mike until he drops the subject and goes back to commenting on how badly Jensen's team is losing.
**
Jensen's clinic hours swallow pretty much his whole weekend. He spends the night in the hospital Saturday. Sleeping on one of the uncomfortable little cots that remind him of the worst summer camp ever.
Sunday is another full day split between the clinic and going to the hematopathologist with Dr. Ferris, arguing about Jared's blood work. Dr. Bobb eventually gives in and re-does the smear tests twice before Dr. Ferris will finally accept that Jared's hormone levels are what they are. High, but not dangerously so.
Monday rolls around, and Jensen's tired and cranky and since Katie was on "Seahorse watch" all weekend (she came up with that one all on her own), Jensen's going to have to take Jared's morning vitals himself.
And maybe part of the reason he's so cranky and tired is that he was up most of the night re-playing the scene out in his head. Mike's warning sunk in deeper than he'd realized. Had he been flirting with Jared unconsciously? Sure, Jared's an attractive guy. Fuck, that first meeting with him? When he was just wearing the flimsy little paper gown that opened in the front? Jensen still doesn't know how he made it through that ordeal without losing it and just fucking licking him.
But Jensen's a professional; the moment Jared became a full-time patient he knew he had to stuff that attraction, way, way down inside himself. It didn't mean he couldn't be nice to him, though. And Jensen was just being nice! They were going to see each other pretty much every day for the better part of a year, what was wrong with trying to establish a good rapport? Like he'd said to Jared before, he had to be comfortable with him, trust him.
He could rein it in today, Jensen thinks, opening the door to Jared's room. "Good morning, Jared," Jensen says, without the "seahorse". Just trying to keep it simple, congenial.
Jared's at the little card-table, surrounded by the remains of his breakfast, juice and cereal and grapefruit. And waffles. Lots of waffles with blueberries and syrup and container of plain yogurt. There are a few some granola bar wrappers on the table, too.
Jared's friends actually claim that Jared's appetite really hasn't changed that much. In fact, they say he's eating less than usual. Which kind of scares him; because if this is Jared eating less, Jensen would hate to see what usual would look like.
Jared looks up at him, peering over the edge his newspaper. Jared's a newspaper guy; he reads the paper every morning, cover-to-cover. Even the Sunday edition, all the sections. Jensen isn't really one for reading the paper. He sometimes swipes the science section from Jared, but most of the time he gets his news from late-night talk shows and news radio in the mornings. Everything else comes by way of medical journals.
Jared's a newspaper guy, and Jensen thinks it's admirable. Not cute, not endearing, not adorable but-
Admirable. Really.
"Hi, Dr. Ackles," Jared says, worrying his lip a bit.
Oh God, maybe Jensen should have used the nickname, he looks miserable now. Jensen's stomach pangs a bit with guilt. "So, how are you feeling today?" Jensen asks.
"Um, maybe not so great. I think, I had this bad dream, it's kind of throwing me off." Jared looks down at the table, fraying and bending the corner of his paper with his finger.
Jensen closes his eyes, he's a doctor, not a therapist. "Sorry to hear that. I'd like to take your vitals now. Can you sit up on the bed for me?"
"Sure." Jared furrows his brow and walks to the bed, rolling up his sleeves so Jensen can get the arm-band around him to check his blood pressure. Maybe he is being a bit more clinical than usual, but it's got to start somewhere.
Jensen's taking his temperature when Jared says around the thermometer, "Soh uh haf thif drem."
"Don't talk yet."
"Oh." The thermometer beeps, and Jensen takes it out of Jared's mouth and he starts again. "So I was having this dream, this nightmare really..."
"Have you told Dr. Rosenbaum?" Jensen asks, taking his stethoscope from around his neck, sliding each bud into his ears.
"No, I wanted to ask you, agh!"
Jensen raises an eyebrow. "Sorry, is it cold?" Jensen asks as he listens to Jared's heartbeat.
"Yeah, kinda." Jared bites his lip again, and it all comes tumbling out. "Look, I just-I had this nightmare about," Jared gestures to the swell of his stomach, "this. And I'm giving birth to it but it's not-it's made out of clay. It's this clay-baby, and it's wet and muddy and screaming and you're there and-"
Jensen mutters something under his breath.
Jared stares at him. "What did you say?"
"I said you're not giving birth." Jensen lifts the back of Jared's shirt so he can listen to his breathing through the stethoscope. "It's an ectopic pregnancy, so we'll surgically remove the fetus. You won't even be awake for it. It's far too invasive for a local anesthetic. Breathe in."
"Oh," Jared inhales.
"Anyway," Jensen continues, "this is really something you should talk about with Dr. Rosenbaum. He's far more qualified to help you with your feelings right now. Can you take a deep breath in, hold it, and then breathe out for me?" Jared does as he asks. "Good. All right, everything looks fine. I'll be in the clinic, and stop by in the afternoon, page me if you need anything." Jensen jots down everything on his chart and turns to leave.
"Dr. Ackles?"
"Yes, Jared?" Jensen turns. Jared's looking at the floor, shoulders hunched up.
"Never mind," he says, scraping his foot against the ground.
Jensen feels like shit when he leaves. An hour later, his pager goes off.
Jared's missing.
**
Mr. Padalecki is livid. There's an actual APB out on Jared, and Jensen's pretty impressed. Security cameras caught him leaving when the guard was looking the other way, slipping into a nearby stairwell. He must have walked down a few flights and then taken the elevator the rest of the way. No one they've asked remembers seeing him.
Milo and Sandy have already been visited by the police, so he's not hiding out there, and he's not at any of his old campus hangouts or his family's beach house, either.
Jensen watches as Mr. Padalecki paces his son's hospital room, muttering and ranting about how much money he's laid out, and how they can't even keep track of one person on an otherwise empty floor. Jensen doesn't say anything, just watches as Mr. Padalecki's personal assistant tries to calm him down.
Katie rushes into the room, almost out of breath. "I came as soon as I heard! What happened?"
"He's gone," Jensen murmurs. "We don't know what happened, or why he left."
"Incompetence happened!" Mr. Padalecki yells. "I'm paying for an entire floor of this hospital, twenty-four hour guard and staff salaries, and funding a free drug rehab clinic, and then this happens in broad daylight!?"
Katie scrunches her nose and pulls back. "Well, maybe we didn't know he was unhappy here. You'd think he'd tell his father, right?" she says sarcastically.
Mr. Padalecki glares at her. "What did you say to me?"
"Nothing!" Katie throws up her hands and tries to soften her voice. "Just, maybe, have you checked his studio?"
"His studio?" Jensen asks.
"Of course we checked there!" Mr. Padalecki answers, crossing his arms.
"I mean the one that he uses off-campus. He was telling me about the internship he did there last summer."
Mr. Padalecki sighs, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. "Of course, they let him rent space there, the 3-D Design School..." He turns to his assistant. "Call my driver, tell him I'll be downstairs in 5 minutes," and they leave the room, heading towards the elevators.
"So, Jared's an artist?" Jensen asks, as Katie flops down in one of the folding chairs.
"Uh yeah, he majored in art and art history. Didn't he tell you?"
"Not really." Jensen furrows his brow. Something is off, and he figures it out when Katie starts drumming her fingers on the table: the newspaper is still scattered everywhere. It isn't right, Jared might not be compulsive about everything, but he never leaves a newspaper in pieces.
"Huh, that's funny, I thought he'd mentioned it to you. He does sculpture and ceramics, mostly."
Jensen blinks a few times, thinking. Jared was talking about having nightmares about clay earlier. So why would he go to his art studio if that freaked him out?
"He didn't go to his studio, Katie. He wouldn't have! He was so upset that he left this mess behind. Something isn't right." Jensen says, thoughts moving faster than his mouth can process. He leans over the table, thumbing through the discarded sections, looking for something, anything, that might give him a clue.
"What are you talking about?"
"He was having nightmares about clay, he wouldn't go to his studio-"
"He told you that?" Katie asks.
"Yeah, hold on." Jensen lifts up a page from the arts section. It's torn in half. "Katie, you wouldn't happen to have a copy of today's paper?"
Katie shakes her head. "No, but the gift shop would. You gonna sniff out a clue there, Scooby?"
"Let's hope so, Velma," Jensen says with a wink.
"Fuck no, I'm Daphne, asshole!" Katie says as they leave the room, taking the elevator down to the lobby.
Jensen and Katie make a beeline for the newsstand, weaving their way through patients, dodging overwrought clerks trying to sell huge bouquets of flowers and over-sized teddy bears. Jensen grabs the paper and immediately yanks out the Arts section. The guy behind the counter starts to protest, but Katie puts on her straightest face and says, "A man's life and the life of his child hang in the balance, sir! Is that worth your precious $1.50?"
Jensen rolls his eyes as the guy makes her fork over the money for the paper regardless, but doesn't pay much attention to her once he finds the corresponding page.
"I know where he is!" Jensen almost, almost, jumps up a little. "Stay here in case I'm wrong!" He shoves the newspaper in Katie's arms, ignoring her yelling as he races to his car.
**
Jensen gets a handful of odd looks before he realizes he didn't change out of his scrubs. Oh well, it's San Francisco, these people have seen stranger fashion choices than a doctor in scrubs. (And, okay, so he might also still have a stethoscope wrapped around his neck. He wears that one home a lot by mistake.)
Jensen stops to study the museum guide again, and finally finds Jared in the Egyptian hall, sitting on a bench by himself. He's staring at a piece of temple wall behind a glass case; hieroglyphics etched into the marble.
Jared's wearing the headphones from the museum tour, he's got the hood of his jacket up over his head, and he's idly sketching and scribbling in a moleskine notebook. He doesn't notice when Jensen sits down on the other end of the bench, staring straight at him. Or he does, but chooses to ignore it. Jensen swallows before speaking, trying to keep his tone even.
"Jared."
Jared blinks a few times, and looks to his side, eyes going wide when they meet Jensen's. He turns and slides the headphones off, expression like that of a guilty child, hand caught in the cookie jar.
"It's okay," Jensen says, hoping to calm him, even though he doesn't know that it really will be okay; what with Jared's father being so livid, but it seems like the right thing to say.
Jared nods. "So where's my father?"
"At the studio you interned at. He's not with me, I promise."
"Seriously?" Jared says, surprised. "He actually thought to go there?"
"No, Nurse Cassidy did."
"Yeah that sounds about right..." Jared says.
"I didn't know you were an artist," Jensen blurts out. "I feel bad, I should have known that."
Jared looks to the side, back at the marble. "I guess I just didn't get around to telling you. I mean, I'm an art major, not an artist, really."
"You sculpt?"
"I try," Jared twists the hem of his hoodie, "and I mean, I've still got a lot to learn. I really need to study more before I can call myself a real 'sculptor'. But um, I get why now. Why you didn't know, because you're just my doctor. We don't need to be real friends, y'know? It's like Dr. Rosenbaum says, we're supposed to have a-a professional relationship."
"Well, that's right." Jensen leans back on the bench, facing the slab of marble. "But then again, in college Mike also used to think that he'd get drunker faster if he drank beer through a crazy straw, so I'd take what he says with a grain of salt."
Jared stares at him. "Seriously, Dr. Ackles?"
"No joke, he never washed it either, it was pretty disgusting."
"Oh man." Jared wipes his eyes.
"See, you don't know him like that, because he has to be detached, Jared. You need to be able to look at him at not see the person that I see. And I need you to look at me and see a doctor, above everything else. Even if I joke with you, or we speak casually, when it comes down to it; I'm your doctor, and Katie, well, she's Nurse Cassidy. Your physical health, and the health of your, um," Jensen lowers his voice, "child, is the most important thing."
Jared nods. "Yeah, I get that."
"And, you know you're not giving, uh, you're not-it's not made of clay, Jared. It's perfectly..." Jensen leaves his sentence hanging.
"Dr. Ackles?"
Jensen bites the corner of his mouth, laughing bitterly as the answer just pops into his head, just like that. "This entire time, we've been telling you it's perfectly normal. That's what the dream is all about, right? We keep saying 'normal' when we all know it can't possibly be. There's no such thing as a 'normal pregnancy' for a guy, so you're worrying that we're not telling you the truth. That it's not going to be a real baby."
"Well, maybe that's a part of it?" Jared says, "I think I figured it out, too." He points to the hieroglyphs, particularly at a figure with great big curving horns. "It's Khnum. The myth goes that he builds babies out of clay before he puts them in their mother's wombs."
"Ahhh, the curse of the sheep-god again?" Jensen says, looking at the figure Jared's pointing too, a frog-headed goddess kneeling in front of him in the hieroglyph.
"Technically, I think he's supposed to be a ram. Anyway, I saw that they just re-opened the hall of Egyptian artifacts, so I thought I'd, just come and, I don't know. I don't really know what I thought I could do. Ask him for forgiveness?" Jared sighs, letting his head fall to his chest. "God, it seems so stupid. I am getting more and more ridiculous."
Jensen reaches out, slowly, stalling, but then finally placing his hand on Jared's shoulder. Jared blinks a few times and looks up at him, face miserable and hopeful all at once. So much for a working relationship, Jensen thinks.
"No one expects this to be easy for you, Jared. I'm not going to lie, the next few months? Are really going to suck. A lot. And the worst part is that Dr. Ferris and I don't really know what's going to happen. We can only guess, based on a bunch of numbers and by analyzing the crap out of the chemicals in your body. We're going to do our best to anticipate things, try and stay ahead of the curve balls your body decides to throw. So if coming here and having an imaginary conversation with an Egyptian god of the Nile is going to help you deal with it? Then I'll come here every day with you." Jared smiles, Jensen pulls his hand back and adds, "I mean, I'm still gonna make fun of you for it, because it's a ram-headed Egyptian god, for crying out loud."
Jared frowns. "You don't get to make fun of me, I'm gonna be somebody's father." He stands up, gathering his sketchbook and headphones, Jensen follows.
"Oh yes I do, little seahorse."
"I'm taller'n you, y'know," Jared drawls, shoving his hands in his pockets as they walk through the hall, towards the exit.
"Okay, big tall seahorse."
"Stop calling me that," Jared mutters. "Don't you think that's a little unprofessional, Jensen?"
Jensen tilts his head, pretending to seriously consider it. "Yeah, but you like it, weirdo."
"I hate you," Jared says, unconvincingly.
**
"And now, to simulate the effects of morning sickness on the expecting female, I'm here out in the middle of the ocean during rough tide!" the man on the screen shouts. He's being tossed around in some dinky little inner tube; wearing only a flimsy rain slicker to protect him from the elements. The camera bobs up and down with the water, little drops raining down on the lens. He goes on to talk about how the nausea actually comes naturally during pregnancy, but Jensen can't hear it because Katie's screaming again.
"What the hell is this guy's problem? Fucking masochist freakshow!" she shouts, in-between popcorn kernels. Jared laughs at her outburst, looking towards Jensen who just shrugs. as he leans against the wall, just off to the side. Keeping his distance, but still letting them know that he's there.
"Well, maybe he's just a little too enthusiastic?" Jensen offers.
Jared turns to him. "Oh, that's right, you weren't here before! You missed it."
"He let a fucking tick suck blood out of his hand until it swelled up to the size of a fucking golf ball!"
"Ping-pong ball."
"Whatever! He's not a real scientist; he's just getting his rocks off. Next thing you know he's gonna tear out his sphincter to pass a watermelon!" Katie rants, waving her arms around. Jared cringes and sucks his teeth.
Jensen crosses the room to sit beside the both of them. He reaches over to grab a handful of popcorn. "Lots and lots of anesthesia, Jared, I promise," he says, patting his shoulder reassuringly.
Katie scrunches up her nose. "Sorry, slipped my mind."
Jared raises an eyebrow. "The only pregnant guy in the room slipped your mind? Wow."
"You pregnant guys all look the same to me, y'know."
"Children." Jensen raises a finger in warning. "Behave yourselves. Now why exactly are we watching this?"
"Because, we've been through all my DVDs and someone here is fundamentally opposed to watching Grey's Anatomy," Jared says, nodding his head towards Katie.
"Just because I want to choke Meredith every time she opens her stupid little mouth or legs-" Katie grumbles.
"Anyway, it was either this or footage of botched nose jobs from plastic surgery training videos. I just ate and we figured this would be a little informative."
"Oh it is." Jensen says. "I've watched this one a bunch of times. Just wait until you get to the footage of the natural birth. She delivers in the middle of her living room, and placenta goes everywhere."
"And here comes my lunch," Jared says, pushing the bowl of popcorn away and touching his protruding stomach. "Should've picked nose jobs."
"Wait, does she really do it without drugs?" Katie's eyes go wide. "This video is insane!"
"I wouldn't mind skipping that part, actually," Jared mumbles.
"Duly noted," Jensen says, snatching the remote away. "In fact, I'm pretty sure there's some kind of blood sport we can find to watch instead. Balls and pucks and tight ends and maybe even some of those slam dunks. I'm told they're quite popular nowadays with you kids, what with your rock and roll."
Jared bites the side of his mouth. "Dude, you're not that old."
"Yeah, well, ask me if I've seen a movie made in this century. The answer will depress you almost as much as it depresses me, I promise."
Jared laughs. "Seriously? Y'know, I hear they've got movies in theaters now."
"Oh yeah, are those them big houses with the moving pictures?" Jensen kids.
"What kinds of movies do you like? I wanna know." Jared says quietly. Katie either doesn't hear or is too engrossed in watching the documentary.
"I, um." Jensen stalls, looking at the floor, trying to avoid the way Jared's looking at him. It really isn't fair, the way he looks at him.
And then Jared's smile fades suddenly. "Hi, Dad," he says.
Jensen scrambles to turn and stand, seeing Mr. Padalecki standing there.
Mr. Padalecki scowls before clearing his throat. "Sorry to interrupt what I assume was an important part of my son's medical care," he sneers.
Katie jumps up, crossing her arms. "We were watching an informational video for patients on pregnancy, so-"
"What do you want?" Jared interrupts her.
Mr. Padalecki gives Katie a dismissive look. "A word, in private, son."
"No, whatever you have to say you can say in front of my fr-" Jared cuts himself off. "My doctors."
"Well then, I only see one doctor here." Mr. Padalecki gives Katie the eyebrow, and her mouth drops wide open. Jensen thinks for one awful moment that he's going to have to physically restrain her from jumping on top of him.
"She can stay, Dad."
Jensen can feel the tension starting to boil over in the room. It'd probably be better if he and Katie were as far away as possible when they talk. "Jared, it's fine, we don't mind if you need a moment to yourselves." But Jared's eyes are on him, pleading without words. "Or we can stay. Either way," Jensen says, quickly backtracking.
Jared's father seems to give in, or just get frustrated with the stalemate. "Very well then; Jared, would you mind explaining these?" he says, reaching into his suit jacket; and pulling out a handful of pamphlets from the free clinic about adoption placement.
Jared swallows, bringing his head to his chest. "Um." Jared plays with his mouth when he's this upset, Jensen's noticed. He runs a thumb along his bottom lip, then pinches it together with his index finger.
Katie breaks the silence. "Jared?"
"Okay, I think my dad and I should talk alone now," Jared mumbles.
"We'll just be outside if you need us," Katie says, and gives his shoulder a supportive squeeze. Jensen forces a smile for Jared as they leave the room, closing the door carefully behind them. Katie slumps down on a waiting-room chair, and Jensen stands near her.
If he angles his head just right, he can still see into the room through the window on the door. Jared's facing his father straight on, waving his arms and it looks like he's shouting, the way his cheeks go red. Mr. Padalecki is too, judging from the wild gestures of his hands, using the papers clutched in his grip to punctuate his words.
Jensen turns quickly away and takes a seat next to Katie when Jared catches sight of him. Jensen feels his face burning, flushing with embarrassment. Only he has absolutely no reason to feel this embarrassed for getting caught just looking at them argue. Fuck, why does Jared do that to him?
Jensen is seriously going to kill Mike, because he can hear his voice in his head. Talking about evolutionary behavior and the instinctual need to protect the child-bearers and some other bullshit. He's gay, damn it! This kind of stuff is supposed to be the exception to the rules for him!
However, Jensen thinks he'd rather deal with the annoying, little bald Mike living in his head when he finally notices Katie staring at him, hands clasped over her mouth like she's holding back a fit of laughter. Because she really is, and when she lets go it all comes out.
"What?" Jensen asks, annoyed.
"Seriously?" she says, quirking an eyebrow and pointing over her shoulder at Jared's room.
"Oh no, don't you start with me-"
"You were practically ready to ask him to go down on you at the cineplex!" Katie snickers. "And you're blushing! You call him your little seahorse and-oh my god! You totally can have like a million of his babies and-" Jensen clamps his hand over her mouth.
"Shut! Up!" Jensen hisses. Katie shakes his hand off of her mouth.
"Oh my God, you totally want his pregnant ass, and you're so freaking doomed Jensen, because y'know he's just as into you, cowboy."
Jensen shakes his head and looks up at the ceiling. "Lord almighty, what did I do to deserve this? Besides having sex with men? Because honestly, I must have been a serial killer in a past life or something."
"Hey," Katie says, serious tone in her voice now. "You know I mean it, no joke. He's really crazy about you-head over heels. So you know what you're doing to him if you're not serious about him? If you don't want to lead him on, you gotta tone down the flirting."
Jensen glares at the patterns on the floor tiles. "It's just a crush."
Katie sucks in a breath. "Oh no. No, Jensen..."
"It's fine, okay? I know what I'm doing, I know I have to stop it before it gets too far and I will. We've had this talk about boundaries and he knows I'm his doctor, and I can be friendly to him without that changing. Because I can't, I can't just be that detached and I..." Jensen trails off, not even believing himself anymore. "Fuck me. I'm doomed, aren't I?"
Katie puts her arm around his shoulders and at that moment the door to the room bangs open and Mr. Padalecki storms out, shouting, "Son, this discussion is over, for now. We're going to talk about this again," he says, and heads for the elevators, not even acknowledging Katie or Jensen standing there.
"Fine! Talk all you want, I'm not changing my mind!" Jared shouts from inside his room. Katie and Jensen stand up to see him sitting on the bed in the middle of the room. His hands are on his stomach, the bulge pulling his t-shirts tighter and tighter every day. He looks awful, and Jensen sees the ripped up shreds of pamphlet littering the floor of the room.
"That could have gone better," Jared mumbles, rubbing his forehead, and then his stomach. "Also, there's this pain, in here. I kinda do feel like I'm getting tossed around the ocean."
Jensen flips that little switch in his head and he's Dr. Ackles again, barking orders to Nurse Cassidy to bring him his diagnostic equipment and page Dr. Ferris. It turns out just to be typical muscle cramps and nausea, but Jensen knows this was caused by stress; he's seen it in his patients dozens of times before. Jared's going to need something more than medicine to help him feel better.
**
Areion