The Seahorse: Chapter 2
**
Chapter 2: Perinatology
Jensen never really thought things could move this quickly in a hospital. Then again, Jensen never really thought a man could get pregnant, so he's 0 for 2 right now.
First Mike comes into the room, gapes in disbelief at the monitors and the very clear image on the screen.
"I need a fucking drink," he mutters.
"I need a double," Jensen adds.
"Me too," Katie chimes in.
"Me three."
They all turn at the same time to give Jared the eyebrow, and he holds up his hands in surrender. "Kidding!" he laughs weakly.
Then Jared's friends show up, or at least two of them. They all stare and stare at the monitor, while Katie explains and Jensen pages the head of obstetrics. Meanwhile, Mike's on his cellphone getting a hold of Jared's parents and telling his receptionist to cancel his appointments for the evening.
"I am so, so, so sorry I ever, well, I mean, I didn't know! I'm sorry. Really, really sorry Jared," Sandy says, clasping her hands together.
"It's fine, really," Jared reassures her.
"Dude." Milo stares at the screen, and tears off another bite of his Red Vines. "Can you, like, feel it wiggle yet?"
"Don't be insensitive!" Sandy snaps up and smacks him in the shoulder.
"I'm not being insensitive! How is asking if it's wiggling insensitive?" Milo shouts, spitting little bits of red candy.
"It just is! You're not supposed to say that about babies!" Sandy stamps her foot.
"Well, what am I supposed to do?"
"I don't know! Boil water?" Sandy turns back to Jared. "Jared? Should we go boil water?"
Jensen tries not to laugh; his friends are reacting more irrationally than Jared. Jared starts, "I don't-" but the door bangs open before he can finish his sentence.
"You'd better not have been wasting an emergency page on an episode of Dawson's Creek, Dr. Ackles," Dr. Samantha Ferris says, barging in and filling the room with her presence. She's about mid-forties, wearing a white lab-coat over her street clothes.
"Jared, this is Dr. Ferris, head of obstetrics and gynecology here, as well as a specialist in perinatology-that's cases of high-risk pregnancies," Jensen says, walking towards her. "Dr. Ferris, we should probably discuss the patient's chart in the hall first-"
"Why in the hell is that boy hooked up to the ultrasound?" Dr. Ferris doesn't waste time with the chart, and she follows the line attached to Jared's abdomen to the monitors and the unobstructed video of the developing embryo.
"Oh my God." She drops her stoic expression and her clipboard, turning to Jensen, eyes wide and panicked. "Okay, this was the proper use of the emergency page."
Mike sticks his head in the room then says, "Uh people, security is here. And um, I think you're being called to the principal's office."
**
It's really, really strange how quickly they get Jared and his friends out of the exam room, and checked into a private room into the closed floor of the hospital, which Jensen thought was still being renovated, but he's pretty sure that should be the last question he should ask right now, as he sits right in front of the hospital's board of directors. It does feel a little like he's been called to the principal's office, only there are five of them. Like some mysterious, arcane tribunal council, beady eyes and scrunched-up faces scrutinizing him.
Jensen had heard they met once a month, but he'd never heard of them getting together for an emergency session so quickly. Especially not at eight o'clock at night, and Katie should be staring daggers at him for making her miss her movie. She would be, that is, if she wasn't busy facing down the gauntlet of the hospital board with him.
Actually, it's the hospital board plus one guest. Jensen correctly assumes the well-dressed businessman is Jared's very, very rich father. So rich, in fact, he'd ponied up the cash to help finish the renovations ahead of schedule, with the caveat that his son be allowed to stay there by himself, "away from prying eyes".
"So," one of the board members begins. "I've informed Mr. Padalecki that his son will be receiving the best medical care in that we at Grace's Heart can offer. Discretion will be key. We expect Mr. Padalecki's situation to be treated with the utmost professionalism." Like clockwork, one of the lawyers steps over and hands them clipboards complete with confidentiality agreements attached. "We'd like you to sign these before we continue. We'd also like to ask that Jared's further medical care be left in the hands of the three of you from now on, barring an emergency situation."
"Of course," Dr. Ferris says, scribbling her signature quickly, Jensen and Katie following suit. "I will be personally taking charge of his case, and assigning a consulting-"
Mr. Padalecki clears his throat, interrupting Dr. Ferris. He leans over to the board members and whispers something, pointing at Jensen with emphasis.
Another board member nodded and chimed in. "Actually, the board thinks it best if Dr. Ackles remains the lead physician on this case, and you agree to be the consulting-"
"Absolutely not!" Dr. Ferris cuts in, standing. Jensen pretty much wants to die, and Katie bites her index finger to keep from laughing. "You can't possibly think it's best to assign this case to a second-year-"
"Third year," Jensen interjects.
"A resident! I'm the head of obstetrics and gynecology. I've spent twenty years in maternal-fetal medicine, received a fellowship in research for the causes of ectopic pregnancies. I can't think of one reason why I wouldn't be the primary physician on a high-risk, high-profile pregnancy such as this!"
The board member holds up his hand. Dr. Ferris is still breathing hard when she sits back down, having screamed her peace.
"We realize this, Dr. Ferris. However, under these unique circumstances, we feel it is necessary to address the patient's comfort as well. As such, Mr. Padalecki has conveyed to us that his son would prefer to see a doctor of his own," he sighs, "well, his own gender."
Jensen worries his lower lip, he can feel Dr. Ferris staring daggers at him, and he can just picture all the hours of clinic duty he's going to be stuck with once this is over.
"You know," Katie chimes in. "Sam, um, Dr. Ferris. It's not unheard of. Dr. Ackles has been reassigned lots of times when patients weren't comfortable seeing a male gynecologist."
Dr. Ferris seems to soften some, but doesn't let up.
"Dr. Ferris, we would still want you as lead physician on the case itself, it's just we would like Dr. Ackles to take on the role of Mr. Padalecki's primary care physician as well as OB-GYN. You've said it yourself, as head of the department you don't have the time to devote to this case. We can reassign the rest of Dr. Ackles' patients easily."
Dr. Ferris nods. "And him?" she says, gesturing to Mike. He's been standing quietly in the corner of the room, observing.
"Dr. Rosenbaum has agreed it is in the best interests of his patient to continue regular sessions during this time. The hospital will accommodate him-"
Dr. Ferris stands up. "Fine. Good. Can I go see my-" She pauses. "Our patient?"
Jensen looks at Katie. "Good luck," she mouths.
**
"Well, I suppose congratulations are in order, Dr. Ackles." They step out of the elevator, heading for Jared's private room. "Most doctors have to spend years before they catch a break like this; and get hired on by some spoiled little rich kid to work as their personal physician." They pause, presenting security with their ID badges. "You might even get to make house calls. In-between clinic duty."
Jensen stammers. "Clinic duty? I thought I was being reassigned?"
"Oh, you'll still keep up with clinic rotations. I'm not letting a resident skate by just because some overblown, rich little snot-nosed brat..."
"He's twenty-two," Jensen says.
"The metaphor stands, and you're not getting out of clinic duty." Dr. Ferris opens the door and fixes Milo and Sandy with a glare. "You, you. Leave now."
They both catch their breath and mutter goodbyes as they get out of the room as quickly as possible.
"So," Jared begins, pleasant grin on his face, but then Dr. Ferris is looming over him.
"Why are you sitting in that chair? Why aren't you in the bed, get in the bed, now!" she barks at him as he scrambles up and zooms under the covers, eyes wide and terrified. Jensen thanks God that at least he's changed into sweats and a t-shirt.
Dr. Ferris whips out Jared's chart and Jensen pulls out his notebook, scribbling furiously in an effort to take everything down.
"Let's be serious about this; yes, you're an adult and this is your choice. But you cannot possibly, even with all medical miracles, bring this child safely to term. We need to talk about the options you do have right now."
"Wait, what?"
"Your body is not designed to carry or to safely deliver a baby. We're talking about a very risky, ectopic pregnancy. And should that come to term, you're then facing an even riskier, highly invasive surgery to safely remove the fetus. It's medically impossible that you've even gotten this far, now we can-"
"It seems to be doing fine on its own," Jared answers, crossing his arms over his chest. Dr. Ferris does the same. Jensen shakes his head "NO!" enthusiastically behind Dr. Ferris' back.
"Excuse me?"
"It seems to be doing just fine breaking all the scientific laws and stuff. It's already done it for two whole months, in fact."
"It's been doing fine, yes-and this is likely where it stops doing fine. This is a very dangerous game you're trying to play here. It will not survive."
"So? Why can't I try anyway?"
"Jared, this fetus is going to behave a lot like a parasite. It will steal your oxygen, your muscles will suffer under any kind of strain, it will suck up your food and water, and deplete your body's fat reserves, feed off of everything you have."
"I can eat a lot." Jared smiles. "Really a lot."
"The male body doesn't store enough fat naturally to sustain a baby."
"I'll eat a stick of butter every week. Every day if I have to."
"And then what? Jared, the hormonal changes alone should be enough to put you off going through this! Men aren't designed for these levels of estrogen. You aren't going to feel like you're yourself for the better part of a year."
"Yeah but, who are we, really?" Jared says, joking. Jensen's still looking at him like he's poking the caged tiger with a stick. "I mean come on, I know what it's like to go through puberty, I shot up a foot and a half when I was a teenager, pretty much overnight. If I can get through that mess, maybe I can get through this one."
Dr. Ferris' lips thin, "Jared, like I said before, this is presenting itself as an ectopic pregnancy-as in a pregnancy that occurs outside of the womb. Not that you have a womb to begin with-but I digress. Ectopic pregnancies in general, have a very, very low survival rate. Most women in your situation would chose to terminate right now. Survival of the child and the mother is somewhere around less than two percent for pregnancies like this."
"And what's the statistic on male pregnancy? Zero percent?"
Dr. Ferris sputters, Jensen can tell she's grasping at straws to try and get through to him. "How are you going to nurse it!?"
Jensen kind of really wishes he could die now. He's embarrassed for Jared, but Jared doesn't seem embarrassed at all. "Isn't there something called formula?"
"Breast milk is infinitely better for a child's early development-"
"Formula feeding is better than not feeding at all!"
"Mothers bond with their children during this phase!"
"And fathers can't bond with their children, ever? First you say I can't do this because it won't carry to term, my body's not built for it. Then you tell me I can't have it because I won't survive the delivery. Now you don't want me to have it because it's going to be formula-fed! Oh no, not formula!"
Dr. Ferris groans, "Jared, listen to me. The risks are too great."
"But the risks haven't yet presented themselves," Jensen murmurs. Dr. Ferris is going to rip him a brand new one.
Dr. Ferris grinds her teeth, and crosses her arms. "Dr. Ackles, please see me in the hall?" she says, voice tinged with anger.
Jared holds up his hand. "No, no, I want to know what Dr. Ackles thinks."
"Um, no you don't," Jensen backtracks.
"Yes, Dr. Ackles. Tell him," Dr. Ferris says.
"Tell me." Jared looks at him, his eyes earnest. "Is there a chance?"
Jensen's eyes dart back and forth between the two of them. "Well, I mean... See, there haven't been any complications yet. And um, it's against all medical precedent but, yeah, nothing has presented itself as a problem, and maybe we're rushing into things, assuming what's going to happen before it has a chance to. Maybe since this is unexplored territory we should just step back, and see what happens next. If things start looking bad, we can deal with it then." Jensen pauses, biting his lip, trying to backtrack and support Dr. Ferris before she straight-up punches him in the face, like she looks like she wants to.
"But it wouldn't hurt to discuss all options at this stage. We can't sit by and let you do something to risk your own life, because there's an oath we take as doctors. But if there isn't yet any harm-" Jensen says, tilting his head.
"Cut the crap." Dr. Ferris turns back to Jared. "If you are serious. Really, truly serious about trying to go through with this, then you will do exactly as we say. No questions. Like he said, our oath is to 'do no harm'. So for the next seven months, we do everything we can to keep you and that baby alive. Do you understand?"
Jared swallows. "Yeah."
Dr. Ferris smiles. It's kind of scary. "All right then." She stands up, "I'm going to take another look at your chart, and tomorrow we're going to go through the entirety of this pregnancy with Dr. Ackles. And we're going to talk about your safety, and what we can do to help ensure it. Have a good night. Dr. Ackles, I'll see you in my office tomorrow morning, eight o'clock."
Jensen nods, and Dr. Ferris swoops out of the room, white lab coat flowing behind her.
"Wow," Jared breathes out. "She's really intense."
Jensen nods. "You should, um. You should get some sleep. I'll be back in the morning." He turns to leave.
"Jensen?"
"... Dr. Ackles."
"Oh, um, sorry, the nurse called you-"
Jensen turns. "She calls everyone by their first name, whether they want it or not."
Jared's mouth twitches a little. "Dr. Ackles, then; I have a question for you."
Jensen nods. "Of course, go ahead."
"What's the deal with the seahorses?"
"Oh." Jensen steps back into the room. "Well, seahorses. The males actually carry the babies, and give birth to them."
"Doesn't that make them the females?" Jared asks, leaning forward.
"No, you see the females still have eggs, and the males fertilize them; it's just that during mating the female deposit the eggs inside the male and he fertilizes them himself. And then he carries them around and keeps them safe when they're born, and releases them when they're old enough and-" Jared's staring at him, hanging on every word.
"Go on?"
"It's just, because you're pregnant and a guy. Therefore, you're a seahorse."
Jared laughs. "Okay." He's smiling, big wide row of white teeth and Jensen feels his heart beat faster.
"So, I'd better get going," Jensen says, trying to quash the feelings Jared's stirred up in him. "Did you have any more questions?"
Jared shakes his head.
"All-right then." Jensen nods. "Good night."
"Good night, Dr. Ackles," Jared replies.
**
"More!" Jensen says, slamming the glass down on the table. The waiter pours him another finger of Scotch, single malt.
"Should I just leave the bottle?" he asks. Mike nods and opens his wallet.
"I think so, yeah."
"I wanna 'nother!" Jensen slurs. "An' another, anda 'nother..."
"Have I mentioned the 'I'm sorry' yet? The infinite number of apologies I've made? Because come on!" Mike pounds his fist down for emphasis. "How the hell could I have known he was actually?" Mike waves his hand in front of his stomach.
"Shhhhhht!" Jensen wags his finger. "Less talky-talk, more boozey-booze!"
Mike sighs. "I'll make it up to you, I promise." He eyes a waitress walking by, then turns to Jensen. "You seeing anybody?"
"Pffft!" Jensen spits a little unintentional spittle at Mike. "I am a Bedouin monk! I am a monk who stares at vaginas all day and-oh wait! Nope! Now I get to stare at a-"
Mike claps his hand over Jensen's mouth. "Please, for the both of us, do not finish that sentence." Mike sips his drink with his free hand while Jensen whines into the other until he pulls it away and Jensen can resume his drunken wallowing.
"Y'know, Tommy's single," Mike says.
"Tommy. Tom your secretary, Tom?" Jensen says, trying to picture him with his big broad shoulders, dark hair and bright blue eyes.
"Yeah, you're probably his type."
Jensen takes his shot, and makes a sour face as the alcohol burns his tongue. "No."
"What? He's totally your type too, don't deny it. You like 'em tall and pushy-uhh, what's that term again?"
"Pushy bottoms. And shut-up, I don't have a type," Jensen says, winding his index finger around the bottom of his glass, licking off the last drops of scotch. "No. No. No."
"Why not?"
"I don't date anyone prettier than I am."
Mike snorts. "You don't have to date him, y'know."
"I don't fuck around. Why? Did he say something? Did you give him my number-Mike! I'm serious, I don't want you setting me up, and I can get my own dates!" Jensen whines.
"Yeah, and that's really been working out well, hasn't it?"
Jensen frowns, looking at the bottom of his glass, licked clean. It hasn't been easy; guys he dated (or tried to date) tended to get completely freaked out once they found out what he did for a living.
"Think about it, when you're sober, okay?" Mike says, scribbling a phone number on the back of his business card. "I'll let him know you might call."
"He's prettier than me," Jensen repeats.
"Yeah, I know," Mike mutters to himself.
**
The next morning Jensen's really regretting all that scotch when he's sitting in Dr. Ferris' office, going over every possible twist and turn that Jared's pregnancy could take. And Dr. Ferris speaks in this imposing, booming voice as it is, but it might as well be a jackhammer, it's killing Jensen's head all the same.
And then he spends another hour and a half going over the plan with Jared and his parents, with the both of them interrupting with questions every five minutes. They leave when Jensen answers them all, everything from what the gender of the child is likely to be (50% chance it's male, 25% female, 25% intersexed) to when the morning sickness will drop off. Jared actually excuses himself a few times to go use the bathroom.
Jensen lets the Padaleckis say their goodbyes in private, and when they're finished he goes back to do his hourly check of Jared's vitals, temperature, blood pressure, etc.
"I'm sorry," Jared says while Jensen fills out his chart.
Jensen looks up at him. "You're sorry about what?"
"I'm sorry I make you so uncomfortable," Jared says, taking a deep breath, like he's about to start rambling again. "Because I-"
"Why would you say that?" Jensen asks, pulling up a chair to sit next to his bed.
"I can tell." Jared looks away. "Like you said, you've never had a male patient and it's obviously freaking you out and I just didn't think it would make you feel so uncomfortable and I'm so sorry I suggested it in the first place. I just was freaked out and scared and I wanted a doctor that would understand and my mom convinced my dad and, well, it was selfish of me. I'll tell my dad to let you off the case and they can reassign someone."
"You don't make me uncomfortable," Jensen says, all the while thinking of how much of an understatement that is. You make me crazy, you make me want to do crazy things that will get me fired. You're pregnant and vulnerable and it's all so damn wrong.
Jared snaps back to face him. "Yeah? Right! C'mon, you're telling me this doesn't make you uncomfortable?" he says, gesturing to his body, in that damn thin hospital gown that Jensen wants to never see again.
"I'm a doctor, I'm used to naked patients, or um, partially naked. Look, I might be only a third-year resident but I'm experienced enough to be professional about this. But Jared, you have to give me your trust, and if you're telling me you don't think I can be trusted-"
"You!" Jared interrupts, frantically shouting now. "You can be professional around a naked woman, probably, because that's your job! You can't tell me you're just as comfortable around guys like this and, ugh." Jared stops, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ignore me, I don't know what I'm doing right now, or saying. I just, I don't want to force you into this."
Jensen's hand hovers over Jared's thigh. Jensen wants to put it there, pat him reassuringly through the blankets and bring him in for a hug. But he pulls his hand back, knows it's not the right thing to do. "Jared, I took an oath. To give my patients the best medical care no matter their race, gender, or socio-economic background. I treat them all equally. I happen to have chosen to work in a field where I don't treat men on a regular basis, but that doesn't mean I did so because I didn't want to work with them. Does that make sense?"
"Then, why?" Jared asks.
Jensen shrugs. "I like babies." Jared bursts out laughing, and Jensen shakes his head. "What? What answer were you hoping for? I like babies, what's wrong with that?"
"Nothing!" Jared says, calming down. "It's just, I figured it was for the, y'know, the girls?"
"Jared, if I was trying to get a date out of my job, I would have gone into proctology," Jensen says, and then slaps his hand over his mouth, realizing what he's just said to him. Jared's mouth is hanging open. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, it was completely unprofessional of me-"
Jared shakes his head. "Don't, don't worry about it," he says, and then he's biting his lip and it's Jensen's turn to stare in shock as Jared's face flushes.
Jensen ignores the look Jared's giving him, and changes the subject back. "So, if you still want to change doctors?"
"No, no I'm fine. We're fine! I mean hey, I'm you're-I'm the pregnant one, and um, you're the OB-GYN. I trust you."
Jensen nods. "Okay, then. So you're my seahorse."
**
Syngnathidae