Eight Cozy Nights: Hot Stuff
Title: Hot Stuff
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R-ish
Wordcount: 2,036
Notes: For beckaandzac: "Jared/Jensen, the perfect cup of hot chocolate!"
Summary: AU wherein Jared Padalecki has a crush on hot frozen banana guy, Katie Cassidy freaks out, and Jensen Ackles makes the Zagat Guide writers cry themselves to sleep.
Hot Stuff:
Katie wrings her hands, pacing back and forth behind the barista counter. "Oh my god I am freaking out, I am freaking out, why aren't you freaking out? I am freaking out!" Katie asks jabbing her finger into Jared's shoulder.
"I'm subtle," Jared says sarcastically, popping another coconut-toasted marshmallow in his mouth. "You freak out, you pace and sweat-"
"I am not sweating-oh shit am I sweating? Fuck I need to change my shirt!" Katie ducks under the bar counter and Jared grabs her apron strings, stopping her in her tracks.
"You freak out, you pace and you barely even sweat, so calm down. You do not need to change your shirt. I will however, ask you to stop chewing on your nails so you don't get little acrylic chips in my food."
"Sorry, sorry," Katie says shoving her hands into the pockets of her apron.
"And when I freak out, and yes I do freak out, I eat too much candy and then I have a sugar crash. But by the time I pass out into a diabetic coma, this will all be over."
"Well, aren't you the man with the plan?" Katie snipes. "Jared, we are about to be visited by the make-you-or-break-you most important food critic of the year! The guy who basically makes the list of places to eat over the holiday season!"
"I know, I know. We get this guy to give us a good review, and we pretty much guarantee that we're on the map during the tourist season this year, and you can pay off your loans and I can buy a new convection oven and if we don't get a good review then we'll have to set the building on fire to cover our losses and run away to Tijuana."
"Pretty much! And I don't even know Spanish, I took French in college, Jared! We have to run away to Montreal!"
Jared grabs Katie by the shoulders. "Katie this is ridiculous! Yes a good review will be a windfall for the Café, but it's not going to ruin us if we get a mediocre one instead."
"How are you so confidant we won't get a bad one?" Katie says, hands on her hips.
Jared rolls his eyes and ducks behind the bar, Katie following him into the kitchen as he talks. "Because I know good food, and because I'm a good cook. Look, food critics are who they are because they couldn't make it as chefs. They're petty, jealous little arrogant prigs, but they have taste buds just like everybody else." Jared scoffs, starting up a burner and beginning to mix ingredients in a pan "I mean, I should be afraid of Jensen Ackles? C'mon I know his type. He's probably just some beady-eyed forty-something little chunky-butt piece of Eurotrash who latches onto the food trends and all you have to do is blow smoke up his ass or tell him you're down with the whole bacon thing."
"Bacon is yummy," Katie says.
"Bacon is yummy, but it has no place in my desserts. And I'm not gonna jump through hoops just because a little slice of pigfat makes the foodies all come in their pants." Jared flips the thin pancake over and grabs a jar of preserves. "If you make good food, you don't need a gimmick like mixing in some trendy protein to amp up your 'edginess' or whatever they call those retarded monkeys spraying lobster foam onto puff pastry and calling it a revolution. Here, eat something," Jared says sliding the fruit-filled crepe onto a plate for Katie.
Katie grabs a fork and takes a bite, and says, "Mmmm, mmm, mmm! Damn it how do you do that?"
"I'm a good chef, that's how."
"Then why are you still downing marshmallows for your nervousness?"
Jared sighs, steps out of the kitchen and points towards the seating area. "Because hot frozen banana guy is back."
Katie's eyes go wide. "Ooh! So, are you gonna finally ask him out?"
Jared takes a deep breath. "Fuck, I don't know."
Hot frozen banana guy is in his usual seat in the back of Jared's Café, leafing through a book, drinking coffee and nibbling on one of Jared's frozen banana tarts.
"C'mon," Katie says as she chews her crepe. "Go ask him out before the food critic gets here, so then I can freak out about that instead of freaking out about Jensen 'Zagat Guide Killer' Ackles."
Jared looks at him, and the guy over his reading and gives Jared a little half-smile. Katie bumps him with her hip. "Go pour him more coffee, at least. Tell me how good he smells today." Jared rolls his eyes but grabs the coffee urn anyway as Katie snickers and ducks her head down to spy on them.
Jared weaves around the other customers, offering them refills and makes his way to the back table, where he's sitting by himself (as usual, Jared notes). His nose, lightly freckled is buried in his book, and he idly pushes his glasses up higher, the tiny little decorative lights in the Café reflecting on the lenses. Jared pushes down a little happy sound into the back of his throat and approaches his table confidently, smiling. "More coffee?" he asks.
He looks up and nods, Jared pours more coffee for him, and grabs his empty plate. "Would you like another one?"
"No, I really shouldn't," he says, ducking his head.
Jared smiles, "You're allowed to treat yourself, and c'mon, it's just a frozen banana on some pastry."
"Don't sell yourself short, sometimes the simplest things are the best kinds of foods. More people should follow that kind of philosophy, stop overcomplicating their food."
Jared sits himself down at the empty seat of the table, "Well if you're gonna just torture me with all these compliments, I'm gonna have to get you another banana tart-my treat."
He laughs softly, dogearing the page in his book and closing it on the table. "I don't know if I should because you're all gonna start calling me 'frozen banana guy' or something, maybe I should change my order once in a while."
Jared stands up, "Now that's not true, it's 'hot frozen banana guy'," he says and walks off quickly to Katie, grabbing her arm and whispering, "Oh my god, tell me if he's looking at me, I totally just threw myself at him."
Katie gasps and says, "Jared he's totally flustering." Jared crooks his finger and Katie follows him into the kitchen again.
"Good," Jared says and starts arranging a tasting plate, slices up his marshmallows, his tarts and cookies and a dollop of his chocolate mousse ice-cream. "Get me a cup of the hot chocolate, Katie?"
"One perfect hot chocolate, coming up!" Katie says and skips off to prep it. Jared breathes deep and dusts the plate with powdered sugar, drizzles raspberry and chocolate sauces and arranges a vanilla-spun-sugar cookie in the shape of a heart on top of his apple-peach crumble. "Wish me luck, I'm going back in." Katie nods and places the hot chocolate carefully on his tray.
"Do it!" Katie says, patting his shoulders.
Jared saunters back to his table, and he smiles and mumbles a thank you as Jared arranges the plate in front of him.
"So I figure maybe you'd prefer being 'hot peach crumble guy', or maybe 'hot mousse ice-cream guy', even 'hot-hot chocolate guy', but that might be redundant."
He laughs and shakes his head, "You're really-this is too much."
"We call it the perfect hot chocolate for a reason, just give it a try," Jared says as he sits down and slides the cup in front of him.
He bites his lip, Jared tries to not think too hard about that mouth, pink and soft as it wraps around the rim of his cup and he drinks the hot chocolate, making the soft mmm-sounds Jared always likes hearing.
He pauses, running a finger against the rim of his cup and bringing that finger to his mouth, sucking up the droplet of chocolate. "When do you get off?"
Probably when you move your mouth like that around my cock, Jared thinks and shakes his head. "Ahh, we close at 11 tonight, but um, I might have to stay late. We've got this asshole food critic coming in for a tasting and I still have to prep for that, and I'll probably need a good stiff drink."
"Asshole food critic?"
"Yeah, that Jensen Ackles guy, the one who makes the Zagat Guide writers cry themselves to sleep at night because everyone wants his reviews and the kinds of traffic he can bring in for the holidays."
"Ever met him?" he asks.
"Not yet had that displeasure."
"So how do you know I'm an asshole?"
"All food critics are assholes that can't cook for themselves so they take out their shortcomings on chefs who actually know what they're doing and-" Jared stops, mouth hanging open. "Wh-what did you say?"
Jensen takes another sip of his drink, and takes out a small notebook and pen, starting to taste the crumble. "I said how do you know I'm such an asshole?"
"I..."
"Glass of water would be helpful for the tasting, you know? Room temperature if possible, not too cold."
The color drops from Jared's face and he scoots the chair out, Jensen's hand snaps up and grabs his apron string. "Oh, and one more thing. Since I got here early for the tasting, I'm guessing that means you're free tonight, right?"
Jared swallows. "Huh?"
"You're free tonight, and I'm free tonight, it's not that difficult, right? Hot asshole critic is trying to ask you on a date, Jared."
"Oh, oh, I ummm-" Jared blinks. "You, still want to go out with me?"
"Jared, you honestly don't think I come here every afternoon for just the banana tarts. You're the only pastry chef I've had to review this season that didn't try to feed me chocolate-covered bacon. That fact alone makes me want to jump up in your arms and kiss you."
Jared nods, and says, "Okay, okay I'd um, I'd love to! I can get out of here at 9 if I get someone to cover."
Jensen lets go of the apron string. "I'll see you then. Water?"
Jared turns, "I'll go-I'll be back, yeah."
Katie is practically clapping with excitement when Jared walks back to the bar, his eyes wide and face still half-dumbstruck. "So?! Will I get to live vicariously through you two?"
Jared nods, "Can you get him some water, I need to go lie down."
"Why, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Katie," Jared says. "I'm in love. I am absolutely, completely, head-over-heels in love. With Jensen Ackles."
Katie sputters. "Jensen Ackles! He's hot frozen banana guy?"
"I need to lie down and have a panic attack now," Jared says.
"But c'mon, this means we're definitely getting a good review, right?"
"No, it means we're getting no review because I'm going out with him tonight and unless you're going to come along and gag him and stick a bag over his head so I can't see that 'fuck-me" mouth, then I'm doomed. Because if you do not, I am going to go down on him in public, get us arrested for lewd sexual acts, and then he'll get fired and we'll have to sell the Café and run off together to Montreal and get married and I'll open a crepe stand to try and make ends meet, especially once we decide to adopt the kids."
Katie blinks. "Okay. That sounds like a plan."
Jared nods, "I'm gonna call it, 'Les Crepes de Padalecki'. Catchy, huh?"
"No, I will gag him and bag him, because you are not giving up on New York that easily, Jared! Also, it's a lame name for a crepe stand."
Jared sighs. "Maybe if I get a good lawyer."
Katie smacks him upside the head, "Go in the back and lie down before you freak out yourself into ten years in a federal prison or something."
"They let you have conjugal visits, right?"
Katie shoves Jared back into the kitchen and sighs.
Eight Cozy Nights 2008:Eight Cozy Nights #1: Working In Pairs [Sam/Dean] Eight Cozy Nights #2: Oi To The World [Jared/Jensen/Misha] Eight Cozy Nights #3: Love, War, and Snowball Fights [Sam/Dean] Eight Cozy Nights #4: Hot Stuff [Jared/Jensen] Eight Cozy Nights #5: In The Glow [Jensen/Jared] Eight Cozy Nights #6: Angels We Have Heard On High [Sam/Dean, Castiel] Eight Cozy Nights #7: Blades of Chad [Jared/Jensen] Eight Cozy Nights #8: Aurora [Sam/Dean]
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R-ish
Wordcount: 2,036
Notes: For beckaandzac: "Jared/Jensen, the perfect cup of hot chocolate!"
Summary: AU wherein Jared Padalecki has a crush on hot frozen banana guy, Katie Cassidy freaks out, and Jensen Ackles makes the Zagat Guide writers cry themselves to sleep.
Hot Stuff:
Katie wrings her hands, pacing back and forth behind the barista counter. "Oh my god I am freaking out, I am freaking out, why aren't you freaking out? I am freaking out!" Katie asks jabbing her finger into Jared's shoulder.
"I'm subtle," Jared says sarcastically, popping another coconut-toasted marshmallow in his mouth. "You freak out, you pace and sweat-"
"I am not sweating-oh shit am I sweating? Fuck I need to change my shirt!" Katie ducks under the bar counter and Jared grabs her apron strings, stopping her in her tracks.
"You freak out, you pace and you barely even sweat, so calm down. You do not need to change your shirt. I will however, ask you to stop chewing on your nails so you don't get little acrylic chips in my food."
"Sorry, sorry," Katie says shoving her hands into the pockets of her apron.
"And when I freak out, and yes I do freak out, I eat too much candy and then I have a sugar crash. But by the time I pass out into a diabetic coma, this will all be over."
"Well, aren't you the man with the plan?" Katie snipes. "Jared, we are about to be visited by the make-you-or-break-you most important food critic of the year! The guy who basically makes the list of places to eat over the holiday season!"
"I know, I know. We get this guy to give us a good review, and we pretty much guarantee that we're on the map during the tourist season this year, and you can pay off your loans and I can buy a new convection oven and if we don't get a good review then we'll have to set the building on fire to cover our losses and run away to Tijuana."
"Pretty much! And I don't even know Spanish, I took French in college, Jared! We have to run away to Montreal!"
Jared grabs Katie by the shoulders. "Katie this is ridiculous! Yes a good review will be a windfall for the Café, but it's not going to ruin us if we get a mediocre one instead."
"How are you so confidant we won't get a bad one?" Katie says, hands on her hips.
Jared rolls his eyes and ducks behind the bar, Katie following him into the kitchen as he talks. "Because I know good food, and because I'm a good cook. Look, food critics are who they are because they couldn't make it as chefs. They're petty, jealous little arrogant prigs, but they have taste buds just like everybody else." Jared scoffs, starting up a burner and beginning to mix ingredients in a pan "I mean, I should be afraid of Jensen Ackles? C'mon I know his type. He's probably just some beady-eyed forty-something little chunky-butt piece of Eurotrash who latches onto the food trends and all you have to do is blow smoke up his ass or tell him you're down with the whole bacon thing."
"Bacon is yummy," Katie says.
"Bacon is yummy, but it has no place in my desserts. And I'm not gonna jump through hoops just because a little slice of pigfat makes the foodies all come in their pants." Jared flips the thin pancake over and grabs a jar of preserves. "If you make good food, you don't need a gimmick like mixing in some trendy protein to amp up your 'edginess' or whatever they call those retarded monkeys spraying lobster foam onto puff pastry and calling it a revolution. Here, eat something," Jared says sliding the fruit-filled crepe onto a plate for Katie.
Katie grabs a fork and takes a bite, and says, "Mmmm, mmm, mmm! Damn it how do you do that?"
"I'm a good chef, that's how."
"Then why are you still downing marshmallows for your nervousness?"
Jared sighs, steps out of the kitchen and points towards the seating area. "Because hot frozen banana guy is back."
Katie's eyes go wide. "Ooh! So, are you gonna finally ask him out?"
Jared takes a deep breath. "Fuck, I don't know."
Hot frozen banana guy is in his usual seat in the back of Jared's Café, leafing through a book, drinking coffee and nibbling on one of Jared's frozen banana tarts.
"C'mon," Katie says as she chews her crepe. "Go ask him out before the food critic gets here, so then I can freak out about that instead of freaking out about Jensen 'Zagat Guide Killer' Ackles."
Jared looks at him, and the guy over his reading and gives Jared a little half-smile. Katie bumps him with her hip. "Go pour him more coffee, at least. Tell me how good he smells today." Jared rolls his eyes but grabs the coffee urn anyway as Katie snickers and ducks her head down to spy on them.
Jared weaves around the other customers, offering them refills and makes his way to the back table, where he's sitting by himself (as usual, Jared notes). His nose, lightly freckled is buried in his book, and he idly pushes his glasses up higher, the tiny little decorative lights in the Café reflecting on the lenses. Jared pushes down a little happy sound into the back of his throat and approaches his table confidently, smiling. "More coffee?" he asks.
He looks up and nods, Jared pours more coffee for him, and grabs his empty plate. "Would you like another one?"
"No, I really shouldn't," he says, ducking his head.
Jared smiles, "You're allowed to treat yourself, and c'mon, it's just a frozen banana on some pastry."
"Don't sell yourself short, sometimes the simplest things are the best kinds of foods. More people should follow that kind of philosophy, stop overcomplicating their food."
Jared sits himself down at the empty seat of the table, "Well if you're gonna just torture me with all these compliments, I'm gonna have to get you another banana tart-my treat."
He laughs softly, dogearing the page in his book and closing it on the table. "I don't know if I should because you're all gonna start calling me 'frozen banana guy' or something, maybe I should change my order once in a while."
Jared stands up, "Now that's not true, it's 'hot frozen banana guy'," he says and walks off quickly to Katie, grabbing her arm and whispering, "Oh my god, tell me if he's looking at me, I totally just threw myself at him."
Katie gasps and says, "Jared he's totally flustering." Jared crooks his finger and Katie follows him into the kitchen again.
"Good," Jared says and starts arranging a tasting plate, slices up his marshmallows, his tarts and cookies and a dollop of his chocolate mousse ice-cream. "Get me a cup of the hot chocolate, Katie?"
"One perfect hot chocolate, coming up!" Katie says and skips off to prep it. Jared breathes deep and dusts the plate with powdered sugar, drizzles raspberry and chocolate sauces and arranges a vanilla-spun-sugar cookie in the shape of a heart on top of his apple-peach crumble. "Wish me luck, I'm going back in." Katie nods and places the hot chocolate carefully on his tray.
"Do it!" Katie says, patting his shoulders.
Jared saunters back to his table, and he smiles and mumbles a thank you as Jared arranges the plate in front of him.
"So I figure maybe you'd prefer being 'hot peach crumble guy', or maybe 'hot mousse ice-cream guy', even 'hot-hot chocolate guy', but that might be redundant."
He laughs and shakes his head, "You're really-this is too much."
"We call it the perfect hot chocolate for a reason, just give it a try," Jared says as he sits down and slides the cup in front of him.
He bites his lip, Jared tries to not think too hard about that mouth, pink and soft as it wraps around the rim of his cup and he drinks the hot chocolate, making the soft mmm-sounds Jared always likes hearing.
He pauses, running a finger against the rim of his cup and bringing that finger to his mouth, sucking up the droplet of chocolate. "When do you get off?"
Probably when you move your mouth like that around my cock, Jared thinks and shakes his head. "Ahh, we close at 11 tonight, but um, I might have to stay late. We've got this asshole food critic coming in for a tasting and I still have to prep for that, and I'll probably need a good stiff drink."
"Asshole food critic?"
"Yeah, that Jensen Ackles guy, the one who makes the Zagat Guide writers cry themselves to sleep at night because everyone wants his reviews and the kinds of traffic he can bring in for the holidays."
"Ever met him?" he asks.
"Not yet had that displeasure."
"So how do you know I'm an asshole?"
"All food critics are assholes that can't cook for themselves so they take out their shortcomings on chefs who actually know what they're doing and-" Jared stops, mouth hanging open. "Wh-what did you say?"
Jensen takes another sip of his drink, and takes out a small notebook and pen, starting to taste the crumble. "I said how do you know I'm such an asshole?"
"I..."
"Glass of water would be helpful for the tasting, you know? Room temperature if possible, not too cold."
The color drops from Jared's face and he scoots the chair out, Jensen's hand snaps up and grabs his apron string. "Oh, and one more thing. Since I got here early for the tasting, I'm guessing that means you're free tonight, right?"
Jared swallows. "Huh?"
"You're free tonight, and I'm free tonight, it's not that difficult, right? Hot asshole critic is trying to ask you on a date, Jared."
"Oh, oh, I ummm-" Jared blinks. "You, still want to go out with me?"
"Jared, you honestly don't think I come here every afternoon for just the banana tarts. You're the only pastry chef I've had to review this season that didn't try to feed me chocolate-covered bacon. That fact alone makes me want to jump up in your arms and kiss you."
Jared nods, and says, "Okay, okay I'd um, I'd love to! I can get out of here at 9 if I get someone to cover."
Jensen lets go of the apron string. "I'll see you then. Water?"
Jared turns, "I'll go-I'll be back, yeah."
Katie is practically clapping with excitement when Jared walks back to the bar, his eyes wide and face still half-dumbstruck. "So?! Will I get to live vicariously through you two?"
Jared nods, "Can you get him some water, I need to go lie down."
"Why, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Katie," Jared says. "I'm in love. I am absolutely, completely, head-over-heels in love. With Jensen Ackles."
Katie sputters. "Jensen Ackles! He's hot frozen banana guy?"
"I need to lie down and have a panic attack now," Jared says.
"But c'mon, this means we're definitely getting a good review, right?"
"No, it means we're getting no review because I'm going out with him tonight and unless you're going to come along and gag him and stick a bag over his head so I can't see that 'fuck-me" mouth, then I'm doomed. Because if you do not, I am going to go down on him in public, get us arrested for lewd sexual acts, and then he'll get fired and we'll have to sell the Café and run off together to Montreal and get married and I'll open a crepe stand to try and make ends meet, especially once we decide to adopt the kids."
Katie blinks. "Okay. That sounds like a plan."
Jared nods, "I'm gonna call it, 'Les Crepes de Padalecki'. Catchy, huh?"
"No, I will gag him and bag him, because you are not giving up on New York that easily, Jared! Also, it's a lame name for a crepe stand."
Jared sighs. "Maybe if I get a good lawyer."
Katie smacks him upside the head, "Go in the back and lie down before you freak out yourself into ten years in a federal prison or something."
"They let you have conjugal visits, right?"
Katie shoves Jared back into the kitchen and sighs.
Eight Cozy Nights 2008: