Mensa AU Fic Exchange: "Life, The Universe, and Everything" for reulann
*
Sometimes, Rod thought, he would never understand John Sheppard. The man slouched around all the time with a lazy smile, and would sleep until three if you let him, yet give him a problem to solve and he was a one-man math machine. Sheppard was a genius; probably nearly as smart as he claimed to be… loudly and often. But, there were also times when Sheppard could be very, very dumb.
“What the hell was that?”
Rod sighed and turned away from the spectacular view of bombs hitting the city shields. “What was what?”
“’So long, John.’ So long?” Sheppard looked as exhausted as Rod felt. His uniform was grubby and wrinkled, dark circles practically enveloped his eyes, and his hair - god, his hair was a disaster area. And for Sheppard that was saying a lot.
Rod felt vaguely guilty, but carefully hid it behind a shrug and innocent expression. “What was I supposed to say?”
Sheppard flapped his arms around uselessly, clearly upset. “How about: ‘This is dangerously stupid, John, and I don’t really want to try to kill myself again. Let’s come up with a better plan.’”
“There was no better plan. You know that. Someone had to fly that jumper.”
“But why did it have to be you?” Sheppard let out a defeated puff of air. “Why does it always have to be you?”
This was an old argument, one that gave Rod a headache and often made him wonder why he’d asked Sheppard to join his off world team in the first place, because Sheppard, quite frankly, was a nag. From the moment he joined the team, Sheppard had alternated between whining about the early hours and forced exercise, and bitching at Rod for taking unnecessary risks.
“And who else was going to do it? Sumner?” Who had survived the attack of a wraith queen but had never fully physically recovered. “Ford? Oh wait, no, he was busy being turned into a mutant half-wraith!” You, he didn’t say. Rod took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He hated losing his cool. No one got to him the way Sheppard did, and he could never figure out why.
“I could have done it,” Sheppard said quietly, as if reading his mind.
“No, no way.” Rod crossed his arms tightly against his chest.
Sheppard mirrored his stance. “Why not? I’ve got the gene. I can fly a jumper, and I’m way more expendable to the expedition than you are. You know that.”
Rod resisted the urge to yell, No, you’re not, because that too was an old argument, and Rod was tired, so so tired. “You? You can’t even fly in a straight line.” It was a low blow, because Rod knew how desperately Sheppard wanted to fly. He just wasn’t any good at it. Sure enough, he saw a flush creep over the man’s face.
“You know what?” Sheppard spat back at him. “I think you just can’t stand the idea of someone else playing the hero for once.” He waved a dismissive hand at Rod. “I don’t know why I even bother. Forget I ever said anything.” He turned sharply and stalked back the way he’d come.
Rod stared after him, then let his shoulders sag. Sheppard would get over it. He always did.
*
“Hey.”
Rod glanced up from the mission report he was typing to find Sheppard standing in front of Rod’s whiteboard, tapping the end of a green dry erase marker against his teeth. “What are you doing?” he asked in an overly sweet voice.
“I think I found an error here.” Sheppard was already reaching for the board eraser.
“Don’t even think about it.”
“Aw, c’mon McKay. I bet I could save you weeks of work.” He uncapped the pen and waggled it in front of Rod’s face.
Rod plucked the marker from his fingers. “Do I come into your lab and try to fix your errors?” He tried a stern look but it bounced off Sheppard like always.
Sheppard’s eyebrows came together in a frown. “I don’t make mistakes.”
And the thing was, Rod couldn’t tell if he was serious or joking. Rod settled for an all-encompassing eye roll/smirk combination. “Of course you don’t. I forgot you’re a genius.”
“And you always give me such a hard time for reminding you.” Sheppard shook his head sadly.
Rod smothered a laugh behind his hand, turning it into a cough. “So, what are you really doing here?”
“Oh, yeah,” Sheppard scratched the back of his head. “Uh, the Mensa club is having a movie night tonight. We’re going to watch Back To the Future and make fun of the physics. You wanna come?”
“Sorry, no. You know that Mensa stuff isn’t really my thing.” Rod would rather spend his time running with Ronon or training with Teyla. He wasn’t a sit still kind of guy. Rod smiled at him fondly. “Thanks for the offer though.”
“Oh.” Sheppard’s smile slipped a little. He chewed his lip thoughtfully, and then raised an eyebrow. “I could skip the movie and we could go play… the game.” He added a double-eyebrow waggle.
Rod chuckled. He was already powering down his laptop. “Half an hour?”
“You bring the snacks, I’ll bring the beer.”
*
“You’re not seriously going to drink that, are you?”
Rod paused with the wooden cup at his lips. “That was the plan, yes.” He put on his best humor-the-natives smile and hissed at Sheppard out of the corner of his mouth. “You do want to get a look at whatever’s creating that force field, don’t you?”
“I’m not an idiot, McKay. I just-”
Rod sighed and set the cup down carefully. The Halthons exchanged frowns and may have gripped their weapons a little tighter. Rod bowed slightly towards their leader. “I apologize. This will only take a moment. I need to confer with my people.” He turned and gripped Sheppard by the upper arm, pulling him a short distance away. Ronon and Teyla fell in behind them.
“Okay, what is wrong with you?” Rod demanded, turning to give the Halthons a wave and a smile.
Sheppard stood with hands planted firmly on his hips. “I don’t think drinking the sacrificial wine is a good idea.”
Rod laughed, dismissing the argument with a hand wave. “Even Teyla admitted that was a loose translation of the word.”
“What if it’s poison?”
“Well, that would hardly be a real trust builder, would it? Isn’t that the point of this exercise - to show we trust them?”
“But we don’t trust them,” Sheppard persisted. He snapped his fingers. “Okay, what if it’s got citrus in it?”
“I only need to take a sip, and I’ve got an epi pen right here in my pocket,” Rod pointed out, having already thought of that.
Sheppard threw up his hands. “You know what, if you’ve got such a death wish, why don’t we save some time and I’ll just shoot you myself? Or better yet, we’ll get Ronon to do it. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
Ronon shrugged. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”
“Gentlemen,” Teyla interrupted. “I fear the Halthons are getting restless. If we do not wish to anger them further, we need to complete the ritual.”
“And that’s just what I’m trying to do,” Rod said.
“I don’t think so,” Sheppard countered.
“Look,” Rod said, willing to try reason one more time. “We’ve done this countless times before.”
“And I tell you every time, it’s not a good idea,” Sheppard countered.
True enough. “And out of all those missions, I’ve only had an adverse reaction once, and you were right there with the shot.”
“And I had nightmares for a week afterwards that I wasn’t!”
Rod snapped his mouth shut. Sheppard blushed and looked away. “You did? You never said anything.” Thinking back, Rod didn’t even remember Sheppard coming to see him in the infirmary.
“No, I made the whole thing up.” Sheppard snarked, except he still wouldn’t meet Rod’s eyes. “And besides, the image of you turning blue and frothing at the mouth? Not a pretty sight. It’d give anyone nightmares.”
“You always overreact,” Rod said, now convinced this was a new tactic of Sheppard’s, in order to get his way. “It wasn’t that bad. I barely felt the tingle at the back of my throat before we caught it.”
Rod never found out what Sheppard was going to say next, because they were both interrupted by a loud slurping noise coming from behind them. They turned in tandem, just in time to see Ronon setting the cup down and wiping his mouth on his sleeve.
“Not bad.” He let out a little belch. “Kinda sweet. Are we done here?”
Rod raised a pointed eyebrow at Sheppard that said See? Nothing to worry about. Sheppard grunted as he walked past, muttering, “It still could have had citrus in it.”
*
“Time to get up.” Rod bent over and nudged at the inert Sheppard-shaped mound of blankets on the bed. “Rise and shine. It’s a beautiful day!”
A muffled “Mmmph” came from somewhere near the pillow, followed by a more distinct “Go away.”
“Ah, ah, ah, we had a deal.” Rod picked up one corner of the blankets and gave them a swift tug. Sheppard was sprawled face first on the bed, his head half buried under a pillow. His tee shirt was rucked up on one side, revealing a pale strip of skin, and he wore blue striped boxers. “The bet was, if I finished the power simulations on the new model naquadah generators before you completed the calculations for Radek’s latest experiment with the jumpers, you would get up and run with me for a week.”
John groaned and rolled over, his left arm flopping over his eyes. “You cheated.”
“Ha! I won fair and square and you know it. Now, are you going to get up, or do I need to get Ronon?”
“All right, all right, jeez. I’m up already.” John sat up and blinked bleary-eyed at the clock on his nightstand. “What time is it?”
“0700. I let you sleep in.”
“7:00 o’clock in the morning? I only went to bed at 4!”
“And whose fault is that?” Rod cuffed him softly on the back of the head. “If we don’t get moving we’ll miss breakfast.”
Sheppard stumbled to the bathroom, pausing only long enough to grab clean clothes from his dresser and call Rod a few choice names. Rod just laughed and ignored him, although he did go easy on Sheppard during their run, only taking him around the ten-mile circuit.
Later that night, when a worn out Sheppard conked out in the middle of the South Park marathon in the Common Room, and slumped over into Rod as they sat together on the couch, Rod didn’t say a thing. Even when he buried his face into Rod’s shoulder and snored a little. Rod simply smiled and let him.
*
“So, what if we beamed one of us into the anomaly? We’ve got the personal shield, so theoretically we could travel across the bridge to the other side and get them to stop whatever it is they’re doing.”
Rod considered it, and then slapped Sheppard on the back. “You’re a genius!”
“Yeah, well, tell me something I don’t know.”
Rod snapped his fingers, already doing the calculations on his tablet. “It’s just crazy enough to work. All we have to do is pop back for the shield and I can-”
“We can decide from there who’s going.” Sheppard said firmly, his tone challenging. Rod glanced up in surprise. “If anything, I understand the equations better than you do.”
“Which is why you should stay here, in case this doesn’t work. You’ll need to come up with a way to stop the beam from this end.”
Sheppard stood his ground stubbornly. “We’ll draw straws for it.” He raised his eyebrows in surprise when Rod quickly agreed. They didn’t have time for a long, drawn out debate.
A half hour later, after they’d arranged things with Elizabeth and contacted the Daedalus, Sheppard stared down at the short ‘straw’ (actually a piece of plastic filament) in his hand.
“Guess I win,” Rod said, tossing his piece of filament aside. Sheppard’s face was like an open book and it had been easy to guess which one to pick.
Sheppard swallowed hard, his lips pressed together firmly. “Okay, good. I’ve got all my calculations on my laptop in case you need them. I’ll write down the pass codes…”
“John,” Rod stopped him gently with a hand on his arm. “I won.” He waited for Sheppard to figure it out, and when he did he slammed his laptop down on the console.
“Oh, no way. Not again!”
“Hey, we’re talking about traveling to a parallel dimension here. How cool is that? Not to mention, the prospect of saving an entire universe. It’s a no-brainer!”
Sheppard chewed at his bottom lip and clenched his fists, but didn’t say anything more. There was an awkward moment while they both stared at each other. “John-” Rod wanted to say something clever, something to be remembered for, but all he could think was that he wished he’d let John in more, been more honest with him. He should say something like you’re a good friend or you’ll be fine. Instead he grinned and winked at John, while slapping the personal shield into place. “This is going to be so cool!” Rod gave him two thumbs up and into his headset said, “Beam me up, Scotty!” The last think he saw was John’s unhappy scowl, and then everything went white.
*
Returning home actually turned out to be more disorienting than landing in an alternate dimension. Rod materialized in the exact location he’d left the other Atlantis from, startling the poor lab tech working there. Before he could even wave and say hi, the tech was shouting “Dr. Zelenka!” into her headset, and moments later Rod was surrounded by his science team, all taking turns shaking his hand and slapping him on the back. Radek shook his head and said, “Only you would manage to find a way back from a one-way mission. Now I must give back the extra lab space.” But he was smiling.
The crowd parted for Elizabeth, who surprised Rod with a hug. Behind her, Beckett said something about the infirmary and a full blood workup. Rod ignored him and scanned the crowd, not relaxing until he spied a familiar frowning face at the back of the room. He grinned. Yes there were similarities, but there was no doubt this was his John (the other guy was ‘Sheppard’ to him now), crossed arms, pouting expression and all. Before he could make it across the room though, John was gone. Then Teyla was there, pressing Rod’s forehead to hers, and Ronon had picked him up from behind in a pseudo bear hug. In all the commotion Rod forgot to wonder what the hell was wrong with John.
*
Rod found John a few hours later - after debriefing Elizabeth and reassuring Carson with a few blood tests and a brain scan - in the training room of all places. Rod would have sworn John didn’t even know the place existed. Stranger yet, John was stick fighting with Teyla.
“I’m sorry,” Rod called out. “I must have returned to the wrong universe after all. The John Sheppard I know wouldn’t be caught dead working out voluntarily.” He meant it as a joke but it served as enough of a distraction to earn John a sharp crack on the hip from Teyla. Rod winced in sympathy. “Oops, sorry!”
John wore a ratty pair of green sweatpants and a faded brown tee shirt with the design of a coffee molecule on it. Sweat ran down his neck and plastered his hair to his head. Leaning forward to brace his hands on his knees, John gasped for air; they’d obviously been at this for a while.
Teyla nodded and smiled tersely at Rod, then moved over to John. “I believe we have done enough for today. You are progressing nicely.”
John straightened and Rod thought he heard him mumble, “Yeah, right.” He wiped his brow with the end of his shirt before allowing Teyla to bring their foreheads together. Otherwise he was quiet and hadn’t yet looked in Rod’s direction.
“Be well, John Sheppard,” Teyla said, with a cryptic glance back at Rod. “I will leave you two alone.” She stopped in front of Rod as she headed out the door. “I am glad you are back. Things would have been…” She paused and pursed her lips together. “Difficult without you.” For Teyla - his Teyla - Rod thought, that was practically gushing.
Rod waited for the door to close behind Teyla before turning and wagging a finger at Sheppard. “Okay, is it me or is she acting a little weird, even for Teyla?” John didn’t answer him. Instead he bent over to pick up his fighting sticks, knocking them together with a loud clack. “And what’s up with you?” Rod continued, moving further into the room. “I return from the great beyond and you don’t even come by and say hi? And since when do you train with Teyla?”
John finally turned to face him, his usually expressive face carefully blank. “You weren’t coming back.” He shrugged. “Someone had to step up to the plate.”
Oh. Rod hadn’t thought…well, there hadn’t been time to think much beyond doing what was expected of him: shut down the bridge, save the universe. He realized that, despite all the talk of his mission being one-way, he’d never really accepted it might be true, that he wouldn’t find a way home. Apparently, John had.
Rod moved over to one of the benches and picked up another set of sticks. Twirling one expertly in his hand he moved into start position, opposite John. “So, you any good?”
John snorted. “Not really.” But he lifted his sticks anyway.
They circled each other, striking out experimentally, until Rod landed the first blow. John scowled and rubbed at his sore shoulder, his expression grim and determined. He moved slowly and telegraphed every move, but to Rod’s surprise, John put up a passable defense. He even managed to land a blow or two.
“Not bad,” Rod admitted. “You’re too tense though. You need to relax your muscles more.”
“Of course I’m tense,” John shot back, making a visible effort to unclench his shoulders. “It’s not like I haven’t had a lot on my mind lately.”
Rod shrugged. “It’s only been a couple of days. You couldn’t have missed me that much already.”
He wasn’t looking, so a choked noise was the only warning he got. John lunged at Rod. Dropping his sticks, he gripped Rod’s shirt in both fists and shoved, their momentum carrying Rod backwards until his back hit the wall. “Fuck you!” John shouted. “Don’t you dare tell me how to feel!”
What the hell? “Sheppard. John, damn it, let go of me! What the hell’s the matter with you?” For one panicked moment, Rod wondered if he somehow had gotten sent back to the wrong dimension, where everyone acted normal except for John.
John stared back at him, still a little wild-eyed. “You keep doing this. You have to stop. I-I don’t think I can go through it again.”
“Stop what? John, what are you talking about?”
John let out a shuttered breath and no longer looked quite so manic. Now he just looked sad and lost. “Someday one of my ideas really is going to get you killed, and then what am I going to do? I-” He broke off and looked away, the tips of his ears turning pink.
Oh god, that’s what- Rod gripped John by the shoulders, feeling him shake beneath his hands. Without further thought, he pulled John to him, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and running his other hand up and down John’s stiff back. Trapped between them, John’s fists dug into Rod’s chest, until they finally loosened their grip and his arms slid around Rod’s waist. His head fell forward to rest on Rod’s shoulder.
They stood that way for several minutes, two grown men hugging. It felt weird, but not so bad. Rod just hoped to god John wasn’t crying. His mind raced, searching for the right thing to say. Rod always knew the right thing to say. True, beaming into the anomaly had been Sheppard’s idea, and yes, he could think back over the years to several instances where he’d put his life on the line to protect John - as well as everyone else - but it never occurred to Rod that-
“Please don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty about coming up with the idea that ultimately saved all our asses.”
John pulled back - thankfully dry-eyed - and regarded him with an exasperated expression. He then, inexplicably, began to smile. “God, you are such a dumbass.” Rod’s mouth fell open. He hadn’t witnessed such wild mood swings since Jeannie’s teenage years. “You actually think I worry about you because I feel guilty? That I’d be this upset because - no, wait, don’t answer that.”
John stopped talking and instead lifted both hands up to cup Rod’s face. And then he kissed him. A gentle yet firm kiss that left no doubt as to its intentions. Rod didn’t know what to do, but John’s lips felt warm and moist and comfortable against his, so he relaxed into it. He did flail a little, while trying to decide where to put his hands.
When John pulled back he smiled at Rod fondly. “The great, unflappable Rod McKay. Mr. Cool. The biggest flirt in two galaxies. You are such a phony.”
A knot of tension uncoiled in Rod’s chest because yes, oh yes, he really was, and now John knew it too. This time Rod pulled John in, sliding his hands under John’s shirt to stroke the bare skin of his belly, then his back. He opened his mouth and let his tongue run along John’s bottom lip before sliding it in further. John had one hand in Rod’s hair and the other tucked into the back of Rod’s pants. They rocked together and kissed until they were breathless.
“Okay,” John panted. “Maybe you are pretty cool.”
Rod stroked the side of John’s face with his fingertips, awed by his open expression of affection. “I had no idea. All this time I just thought you were being annoying.”
John let out something between a snort and a laugh. “That’s why you need me.” He leaned in and kissed the tip of Rod’s nose. “I’m a genius.”
The End
Poll Author, author!
Sometimes, Rod thought, he would never understand John Sheppard. The man slouched around all the time with a lazy smile, and would sleep until three if you let him, yet give him a problem to solve and he was a one-man math machine. Sheppard was a genius; probably nearly as smart as he claimed to be… loudly and often. But, there were also times when Sheppard could be very, very dumb.
“What the hell was that?”
Rod sighed and turned away from the spectacular view of bombs hitting the city shields. “What was what?”
“’So long, John.’ So long?” Sheppard looked as exhausted as Rod felt. His uniform was grubby and wrinkled, dark circles practically enveloped his eyes, and his hair - god, his hair was a disaster area. And for Sheppard that was saying a lot.
Rod felt vaguely guilty, but carefully hid it behind a shrug and innocent expression. “What was I supposed to say?”
Sheppard flapped his arms around uselessly, clearly upset. “How about: ‘This is dangerously stupid, John, and I don’t really want to try to kill myself again. Let’s come up with a better plan.’”
“There was no better plan. You know that. Someone had to fly that jumper.”
“But why did it have to be you?” Sheppard let out a defeated puff of air. “Why does it always have to be you?”
This was an old argument, one that gave Rod a headache and often made him wonder why he’d asked Sheppard to join his off world team in the first place, because Sheppard, quite frankly, was a nag. From the moment he joined the team, Sheppard had alternated between whining about the early hours and forced exercise, and bitching at Rod for taking unnecessary risks.
“And who else was going to do it? Sumner?” Who had survived the attack of a wraith queen but had never fully physically recovered. “Ford? Oh wait, no, he was busy being turned into a mutant half-wraith!” You, he didn’t say. Rod took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He hated losing his cool. No one got to him the way Sheppard did, and he could never figure out why.
“I could have done it,” Sheppard said quietly, as if reading his mind.
“No, no way.” Rod crossed his arms tightly against his chest.
Sheppard mirrored his stance. “Why not? I’ve got the gene. I can fly a jumper, and I’m way more expendable to the expedition than you are. You know that.”
Rod resisted the urge to yell, No, you’re not, because that too was an old argument, and Rod was tired, so so tired. “You? You can’t even fly in a straight line.” It was a low blow, because Rod knew how desperately Sheppard wanted to fly. He just wasn’t any good at it. Sure enough, he saw a flush creep over the man’s face.
“You know what?” Sheppard spat back at him. “I think you just can’t stand the idea of someone else playing the hero for once.” He waved a dismissive hand at Rod. “I don’t know why I even bother. Forget I ever said anything.” He turned sharply and stalked back the way he’d come.
Rod stared after him, then let his shoulders sag. Sheppard would get over it. He always did.
*
“Hey.”
Rod glanced up from the mission report he was typing to find Sheppard standing in front of Rod’s whiteboard, tapping the end of a green dry erase marker against his teeth. “What are you doing?” he asked in an overly sweet voice.
“I think I found an error here.” Sheppard was already reaching for the board eraser.
“Don’t even think about it.”
“Aw, c’mon McKay. I bet I could save you weeks of work.” He uncapped the pen and waggled it in front of Rod’s face.
Rod plucked the marker from his fingers. “Do I come into your lab and try to fix your errors?” He tried a stern look but it bounced off Sheppard like always.
Sheppard’s eyebrows came together in a frown. “I don’t make mistakes.”
And the thing was, Rod couldn’t tell if he was serious or joking. Rod settled for an all-encompassing eye roll/smirk combination. “Of course you don’t. I forgot you’re a genius.”
“And you always give me such a hard time for reminding you.” Sheppard shook his head sadly.
Rod smothered a laugh behind his hand, turning it into a cough. “So, what are you really doing here?”
“Oh, yeah,” Sheppard scratched the back of his head. “Uh, the Mensa club is having a movie night tonight. We’re going to watch Back To the Future and make fun of the physics. You wanna come?”
“Sorry, no. You know that Mensa stuff isn’t really my thing.” Rod would rather spend his time running with Ronon or training with Teyla. He wasn’t a sit still kind of guy. Rod smiled at him fondly. “Thanks for the offer though.”
“Oh.” Sheppard’s smile slipped a little. He chewed his lip thoughtfully, and then raised an eyebrow. “I could skip the movie and we could go play… the game.” He added a double-eyebrow waggle.
Rod chuckled. He was already powering down his laptop. “Half an hour?”
“You bring the snacks, I’ll bring the beer.”
*
“You’re not seriously going to drink that, are you?”
Rod paused with the wooden cup at his lips. “That was the plan, yes.” He put on his best humor-the-natives smile and hissed at Sheppard out of the corner of his mouth. “You do want to get a look at whatever’s creating that force field, don’t you?”
“I’m not an idiot, McKay. I just-”
Rod sighed and set the cup down carefully. The Halthons exchanged frowns and may have gripped their weapons a little tighter. Rod bowed slightly towards their leader. “I apologize. This will only take a moment. I need to confer with my people.” He turned and gripped Sheppard by the upper arm, pulling him a short distance away. Ronon and Teyla fell in behind them.
“Okay, what is wrong with you?” Rod demanded, turning to give the Halthons a wave and a smile.
Sheppard stood with hands planted firmly on his hips. “I don’t think drinking the sacrificial wine is a good idea.”
Rod laughed, dismissing the argument with a hand wave. “Even Teyla admitted that was a loose translation of the word.”
“What if it’s poison?”
“Well, that would hardly be a real trust builder, would it? Isn’t that the point of this exercise - to show we trust them?”
“But we don’t trust them,” Sheppard persisted. He snapped his fingers. “Okay, what if it’s got citrus in it?”
“I only need to take a sip, and I’ve got an epi pen right here in my pocket,” Rod pointed out, having already thought of that.
Sheppard threw up his hands. “You know what, if you’ve got such a death wish, why don’t we save some time and I’ll just shoot you myself? Or better yet, we’ll get Ronon to do it. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
Ronon shrugged. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”
“Gentlemen,” Teyla interrupted. “I fear the Halthons are getting restless. If we do not wish to anger them further, we need to complete the ritual.”
“And that’s just what I’m trying to do,” Rod said.
“I don’t think so,” Sheppard countered.
“Look,” Rod said, willing to try reason one more time. “We’ve done this countless times before.”
“And I tell you every time, it’s not a good idea,” Sheppard countered.
True enough. “And out of all those missions, I’ve only had an adverse reaction once, and you were right there with the shot.”
“And I had nightmares for a week afterwards that I wasn’t!”
Rod snapped his mouth shut. Sheppard blushed and looked away. “You did? You never said anything.” Thinking back, Rod didn’t even remember Sheppard coming to see him in the infirmary.
“No, I made the whole thing up.” Sheppard snarked, except he still wouldn’t meet Rod’s eyes. “And besides, the image of you turning blue and frothing at the mouth? Not a pretty sight. It’d give anyone nightmares.”
“You always overreact,” Rod said, now convinced this was a new tactic of Sheppard’s, in order to get his way. “It wasn’t that bad. I barely felt the tingle at the back of my throat before we caught it.”
Rod never found out what Sheppard was going to say next, because they were both interrupted by a loud slurping noise coming from behind them. They turned in tandem, just in time to see Ronon setting the cup down and wiping his mouth on his sleeve.
“Not bad.” He let out a little belch. “Kinda sweet. Are we done here?”
Rod raised a pointed eyebrow at Sheppard that said See? Nothing to worry about. Sheppard grunted as he walked past, muttering, “It still could have had citrus in it.”
*
“Time to get up.” Rod bent over and nudged at the inert Sheppard-shaped mound of blankets on the bed. “Rise and shine. It’s a beautiful day!”
A muffled “Mmmph” came from somewhere near the pillow, followed by a more distinct “Go away.”
“Ah, ah, ah, we had a deal.” Rod picked up one corner of the blankets and gave them a swift tug. Sheppard was sprawled face first on the bed, his head half buried under a pillow. His tee shirt was rucked up on one side, revealing a pale strip of skin, and he wore blue striped boxers. “The bet was, if I finished the power simulations on the new model naquadah generators before you completed the calculations for Radek’s latest experiment with the jumpers, you would get up and run with me for a week.”
John groaned and rolled over, his left arm flopping over his eyes. “You cheated.”
“Ha! I won fair and square and you know it. Now, are you going to get up, or do I need to get Ronon?”
“All right, all right, jeez. I’m up already.” John sat up and blinked bleary-eyed at the clock on his nightstand. “What time is it?”
“0700. I let you sleep in.”
“7:00 o’clock in the morning? I only went to bed at 4!”
“And whose fault is that?” Rod cuffed him softly on the back of the head. “If we don’t get moving we’ll miss breakfast.”
Sheppard stumbled to the bathroom, pausing only long enough to grab clean clothes from his dresser and call Rod a few choice names. Rod just laughed and ignored him, although he did go easy on Sheppard during their run, only taking him around the ten-mile circuit.
Later that night, when a worn out Sheppard conked out in the middle of the South Park marathon in the Common Room, and slumped over into Rod as they sat together on the couch, Rod didn’t say a thing. Even when he buried his face into Rod’s shoulder and snored a little. Rod simply smiled and let him.
*
“So, what if we beamed one of us into the anomaly? We’ve got the personal shield, so theoretically we could travel across the bridge to the other side and get them to stop whatever it is they’re doing.”
Rod considered it, and then slapped Sheppard on the back. “You’re a genius!”
“Yeah, well, tell me something I don’t know.”
Rod snapped his fingers, already doing the calculations on his tablet. “It’s just crazy enough to work. All we have to do is pop back for the shield and I can-”
“We can decide from there who’s going.” Sheppard said firmly, his tone challenging. Rod glanced up in surprise. “If anything, I understand the equations better than you do.”
“Which is why you should stay here, in case this doesn’t work. You’ll need to come up with a way to stop the beam from this end.”
Sheppard stood his ground stubbornly. “We’ll draw straws for it.” He raised his eyebrows in surprise when Rod quickly agreed. They didn’t have time for a long, drawn out debate.
A half hour later, after they’d arranged things with Elizabeth and contacted the Daedalus, Sheppard stared down at the short ‘straw’ (actually a piece of plastic filament) in his hand.
“Guess I win,” Rod said, tossing his piece of filament aside. Sheppard’s face was like an open book and it had been easy to guess which one to pick.
Sheppard swallowed hard, his lips pressed together firmly. “Okay, good. I’ve got all my calculations on my laptop in case you need them. I’ll write down the pass codes…”
“John,” Rod stopped him gently with a hand on his arm. “I won.” He waited for Sheppard to figure it out, and when he did he slammed his laptop down on the console.
“Oh, no way. Not again!”
“Hey, we’re talking about traveling to a parallel dimension here. How cool is that? Not to mention, the prospect of saving an entire universe. It’s a no-brainer!”
Sheppard chewed at his bottom lip and clenched his fists, but didn’t say anything more. There was an awkward moment while they both stared at each other. “John-” Rod wanted to say something clever, something to be remembered for, but all he could think was that he wished he’d let John in more, been more honest with him. He should say something like you’re a good friend or you’ll be fine. Instead he grinned and winked at John, while slapping the personal shield into place. “This is going to be so cool!” Rod gave him two thumbs up and into his headset said, “Beam me up, Scotty!” The last think he saw was John’s unhappy scowl, and then everything went white.
*
Returning home actually turned out to be more disorienting than landing in an alternate dimension. Rod materialized in the exact location he’d left the other Atlantis from, startling the poor lab tech working there. Before he could even wave and say hi, the tech was shouting “Dr. Zelenka!” into her headset, and moments later Rod was surrounded by his science team, all taking turns shaking his hand and slapping him on the back. Radek shook his head and said, “Only you would manage to find a way back from a one-way mission. Now I must give back the extra lab space.” But he was smiling.
The crowd parted for Elizabeth, who surprised Rod with a hug. Behind her, Beckett said something about the infirmary and a full blood workup. Rod ignored him and scanned the crowd, not relaxing until he spied a familiar frowning face at the back of the room. He grinned. Yes there were similarities, but there was no doubt this was his John (the other guy was ‘Sheppard’ to him now), crossed arms, pouting expression and all. Before he could make it across the room though, John was gone. Then Teyla was there, pressing Rod’s forehead to hers, and Ronon had picked him up from behind in a pseudo bear hug. In all the commotion Rod forgot to wonder what the hell was wrong with John.
*
Rod found John a few hours later - after debriefing Elizabeth and reassuring Carson with a few blood tests and a brain scan - in the training room of all places. Rod would have sworn John didn’t even know the place existed. Stranger yet, John was stick fighting with Teyla.
“I’m sorry,” Rod called out. “I must have returned to the wrong universe after all. The John Sheppard I know wouldn’t be caught dead working out voluntarily.” He meant it as a joke but it served as enough of a distraction to earn John a sharp crack on the hip from Teyla. Rod winced in sympathy. “Oops, sorry!”
John wore a ratty pair of green sweatpants and a faded brown tee shirt with the design of a coffee molecule on it. Sweat ran down his neck and plastered his hair to his head. Leaning forward to brace his hands on his knees, John gasped for air; they’d obviously been at this for a while.
Teyla nodded and smiled tersely at Rod, then moved over to John. “I believe we have done enough for today. You are progressing nicely.”
John straightened and Rod thought he heard him mumble, “Yeah, right.” He wiped his brow with the end of his shirt before allowing Teyla to bring their foreheads together. Otherwise he was quiet and hadn’t yet looked in Rod’s direction.
“Be well, John Sheppard,” Teyla said, with a cryptic glance back at Rod. “I will leave you two alone.” She stopped in front of Rod as she headed out the door. “I am glad you are back. Things would have been…” She paused and pursed her lips together. “Difficult without you.” For Teyla - his Teyla - Rod thought, that was practically gushing.
Rod waited for the door to close behind Teyla before turning and wagging a finger at Sheppard. “Okay, is it me or is she acting a little weird, even for Teyla?” John didn’t answer him. Instead he bent over to pick up his fighting sticks, knocking them together with a loud clack. “And what’s up with you?” Rod continued, moving further into the room. “I return from the great beyond and you don’t even come by and say hi? And since when do you train with Teyla?”
John finally turned to face him, his usually expressive face carefully blank. “You weren’t coming back.” He shrugged. “Someone had to step up to the plate.”
Oh. Rod hadn’t thought…well, there hadn’t been time to think much beyond doing what was expected of him: shut down the bridge, save the universe. He realized that, despite all the talk of his mission being one-way, he’d never really accepted it might be true, that he wouldn’t find a way home. Apparently, John had.
Rod moved over to one of the benches and picked up another set of sticks. Twirling one expertly in his hand he moved into start position, opposite John. “So, you any good?”
John snorted. “Not really.” But he lifted his sticks anyway.
They circled each other, striking out experimentally, until Rod landed the first blow. John scowled and rubbed at his sore shoulder, his expression grim and determined. He moved slowly and telegraphed every move, but to Rod’s surprise, John put up a passable defense. He even managed to land a blow or two.
“Not bad,” Rod admitted. “You’re too tense though. You need to relax your muscles more.”
“Of course I’m tense,” John shot back, making a visible effort to unclench his shoulders. “It’s not like I haven’t had a lot on my mind lately.”
Rod shrugged. “It’s only been a couple of days. You couldn’t have missed me that much already.”
He wasn’t looking, so a choked noise was the only warning he got. John lunged at Rod. Dropping his sticks, he gripped Rod’s shirt in both fists and shoved, their momentum carrying Rod backwards until his back hit the wall. “Fuck you!” John shouted. “Don’t you dare tell me how to feel!”
What the hell? “Sheppard. John, damn it, let go of me! What the hell’s the matter with you?” For one panicked moment, Rod wondered if he somehow had gotten sent back to the wrong dimension, where everyone acted normal except for John.
John stared back at him, still a little wild-eyed. “You keep doing this. You have to stop. I-I don’t think I can go through it again.”
“Stop what? John, what are you talking about?”
John let out a shuttered breath and no longer looked quite so manic. Now he just looked sad and lost. “Someday one of my ideas really is going to get you killed, and then what am I going to do? I-” He broke off and looked away, the tips of his ears turning pink.
Oh god, that’s what- Rod gripped John by the shoulders, feeling him shake beneath his hands. Without further thought, he pulled John to him, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and running his other hand up and down John’s stiff back. Trapped between them, John’s fists dug into Rod’s chest, until they finally loosened their grip and his arms slid around Rod’s waist. His head fell forward to rest on Rod’s shoulder.
They stood that way for several minutes, two grown men hugging. It felt weird, but not so bad. Rod just hoped to god John wasn’t crying. His mind raced, searching for the right thing to say. Rod always knew the right thing to say. True, beaming into the anomaly had been Sheppard’s idea, and yes, he could think back over the years to several instances where he’d put his life on the line to protect John - as well as everyone else - but it never occurred to Rod that-
“Please don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty about coming up with the idea that ultimately saved all our asses.”
John pulled back - thankfully dry-eyed - and regarded him with an exasperated expression. He then, inexplicably, began to smile. “God, you are such a dumbass.” Rod’s mouth fell open. He hadn’t witnessed such wild mood swings since Jeannie’s teenage years. “You actually think I worry about you because I feel guilty? That I’d be this upset because - no, wait, don’t answer that.”
John stopped talking and instead lifted both hands up to cup Rod’s face. And then he kissed him. A gentle yet firm kiss that left no doubt as to its intentions. Rod didn’t know what to do, but John’s lips felt warm and moist and comfortable against his, so he relaxed into it. He did flail a little, while trying to decide where to put his hands.
When John pulled back he smiled at Rod fondly. “The great, unflappable Rod McKay. Mr. Cool. The biggest flirt in two galaxies. You are such a phony.”
A knot of tension uncoiled in Rod’s chest because yes, oh yes, he really was, and now John knew it too. This time Rod pulled John in, sliding his hands under John’s shirt to stroke the bare skin of his belly, then his back. He opened his mouth and let his tongue run along John’s bottom lip before sliding it in further. John had one hand in Rod’s hair and the other tucked into the back of Rod’s pants. They rocked together and kissed until they were breathless.
“Okay,” John panted. “Maybe you are pretty cool.”
Rod stroked the side of John’s face with his fingertips, awed by his open expression of affection. “I had no idea. All this time I just thought you were being annoying.”
John let out something between a snort and a laugh. “That’s why you need me.” He leaned in and kissed the tip of Rod’s nose. “I’m a genius.”
The End
Poll Author, author!