Ache

[mental_cancer]

"These days the people I love are spread so far apart (all out of reach)."

It's kind of funny in that rock bottom way, how life isn't too bad all in all, but still the thoughts that lurk are all my recent shortcomings and failures. Sure, I'm at a point in life where I absolutely need to save literally ever dollar I make and use a credit card/bridge

Comments

[istopi]

Is this as good as it gets? Is that the question you are asking? You seem to be saying that your life is alright but doesn't feel that way.
It seems like you are taking a risk with your job in order to improve. You aren't accepting a plateau, you are improving as an artist. So is that as good as it gets? No, you are moving forward.

But as far as your romantic situation, that is something I can't help with. But if you feel that you sabotaged yourself, it sounds like there is some sort of work to do there. Sounds like things are too fresh, but the question eventually should be how will you not sabotage yourself next time?

Sometimes when things feel rock bottom it can be liberating to know that there is no way to go but up.

I just fucking quit my job and my last day is in a week. Either I'll have a new job or I'll have some time to hang out - maybe both. Lets go to the DIA and you can tell me things about art I've never known. I dunno.

[mental_cancer]

Thanks jay. My only complaint with work really is that I am a little more broke lately since the shops are newer, but it is teaching me more valuable things in addition to my craft, like how to be responsible with money.

As for why I can't get a relationship to last, I think maybe I just keep finding myself attracted to the wrong people and then I get tunnel vision that keeps me blind to the hundreds of red flags that I should heed. Or maybe I just don't have my shit together enough yet, who knows. It's something unconscious, I know that, so it's harder to control or be objective about.

Anyways I would love a trip to the DIA. let me know when you want to go!

[kop]

You're a really good writer! I'm jealous. I want to write a book about extinct animals.