Resurrecting old feelings. I see the signs, but I'll choose pain. I do everytime. Always playing the fool.

After a long strenuous decision making process, I've decided once again to put off school. It took a relaxing float in a tube down the Muskegon river to finalize my plans. School no, backpacking Europe...yes!

I stress to hard, think too much, frustrate myself over the future. Life is much too brief to worry about that stuff.

What's the price of adventure?

Can't seem to keep my head up lately. A more or less steady stream of negatvity has permeated my life over the past year or so. I'm not just not happy with myself. Not really having a plan, not finding worth in very much, not accepting things for what they are, and worst of all, not having the strength of will to change any of it. I am a selfish ( Read more... )

I want to play and listen to music without end, but I feel a little guilty about it. Why ( Read more... )

I saw the girl of my dreams at work today. Brown shoulder length hair, dark rimmed glasses, librarian type. Best 30 minutes of my day.

I'm starting to understand my life is more productive, and thus fulfilling, when I adhere to a more regimented schedule. Fundamentally, I shouldn't give myself time to think too much. When I think, I dwell on why I'm not doing things I should be doing. I'm not sure if routine is going to kill me or save me.

2009 was a year I wanted to forget about before it was even over. Worked more than ever, but I'm sure when I get my W-2's I made the same, or less, than last year. Dealt with some heartache for toooo long, what an destructive and exhausting illness. Crashed a rental car, and thus set me back $2,500 bucks. Got infuriated with myself and took it ( Read more... )

I just made a most excellent salad ( Read more... )

Yesterday might take the cake for one of the best days of the year. Got to hang with the Chicago crew, saw Land of Talk play an awesome show. I was up for 27 hours, and am pretty fortunate not to to be dead. I had some serious hallucinations on the drive home. Running over birds, medieval castles in the distance, imaginary vehicles and all that ( Read more... )