Found this fic...
Found this little gem somewhere on my laptop. Wrote this a long time ago, enjoy ;)
“Hey dude, wanna hang out this afternoon? You can even stay over, my parents are out of town.”
Ian was sitting next to his best friend on one of the benches near their high school. It was lunchtime, but both boys had decided that they wanted to sit outside and enjoy what was probably one of the last sunny days before it became winter. Anthony kicked a pebble that was lying close to his foot and watched it roll a few yards away.
“Sure.”
They sat in silence for a while, thinking about things that fifteen and sixteen year old boys think about. In Anthony's case it was how he was going to afford a car now that he was sixteen. For Ian it was how he could convince Anthony to pick him up every morning if he got a car. It would only be temporary, Ian reasoned, he would turn sixteen himself in three weeks. He was pretty sure his parents would get him a car then. The thoughts were not very important in the greater scheme of things, but for them, they were among the things that mattered the most.
When the bell rang they slowly slid off the bench and walked over to the final few classes of the afternoon. They still didn't speak, but neither of them felt the urge to. For the last couple of weeks, ever since the beginning of the new school year really, things seemed different between them. Ian wondered if it meant that their friendship was ending; Anthony wondered if it was changing into something else.
During class Ian was drawing little doodles in his notebook, always too distracted to pay attention to the teacher. Anthony was staring out the window, watching the yellow leaves letting go of the trees and slowly fluttering down, forming small piles on the cold ground.
When class was over they took the bus to Anthony's place to get his stuff. When they got off the faded yellow school bus Anthony hesitated before going in, and in a rare moment of insight, Ian offered to stay outside. Anthony tried to hide the look of relief on his face, but when their eyes met in a brief moment, both knew enough. Anthony had another fight with his parents about something. His parents were not bad people, but lately they and Anthony seemed to disagree about everything.
Ian waited patiently outside while Anthony grabbed some clothes and a toothbrush, pretending not to hear the yelling coming from the house. When Anthony emerged he was red-faced, but Ian didn't comment on it. They were both still silent, and the world seemed more quiet too. Finally Ian had to say something, had to break the silence. He wanted to break, no, to shatter, the tension between them.
“So... What do you wanna do today?”
Anthony briefly looked over at Ian, before he stared at his moving feet again and shrugged.
“Whatever, I don't care.”
They were silent again. Ian felt unsatisfied with Anthony's answer, but he wasn't sure what to say. Anthony was aware that he was not very helpful, but he was too busy trying to figure out what was happening between him and Ian to think about what he wanted to do in the afternoon. The more the tension grew, the more their easy friendship seemed to crumble. Both boys could feel it, but neither had the answers to fix it.
They arrived at Ian's house and hung around for awhile, playing some video games and ordering pizza. It was just stuff they always did, but although the actions were the same, the feelings were not. Eventually they watched a movie, a mindless action film with muscled men and pretty women. This time it was Anthony who broke the silence,
“Do you think she's hot?” He pointed at once of the big-breasted women on the screen.
Ian picked at a loose thread on his jeans. “Sure.”
They were silent again, the only sound in the room the explosions from the television. Ian cleared his throat.
“You?”
Anthony stared at him for a moment, eventually echoing Ian's answer.
“Yeah, sure.”
Silence, once again. It had already gotten dark outside, causing the temperature to drop. The boys inside didn't notice, the coldness between them blocking out any other feelings. Ian suddenly felt a surge of hate towards his friend. He balled his fists, and just as sudden he hated himself. He forced himself to look at the television, and the hate he felt traveled to the movie. He sighed and swung his feet over the edge of the couch and sat up.
“I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. You coming too?”
Anthony looked up, a bit surprised, but he nodded.
“You go ahead, I'll be there in a few minutes.”
Ian mumbled something that sounded like “whatever” and he stood up and walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Anthony stared at the television for a few minutes, not really seeing the movie. After a while the silence became to much, his thoughts too heavy. He shut off the television and walked into the bathroom, bumping into Ian who was just exiting. Ian had already changed into his sweatpants, which were riding low on his hips. He wasn't wearing a shirt.
“Sorry.” Anthony mumbled, before brushing past Ian and locking himself in the bathroom. He leaned on the sink and stared into the mirror. Anthony sighed, feeling unhappy, but not completely knowing why. Is this it, he wondered, is this my life? Without looking down at the sink, he turned the tap on to get the cold water flowing. He splashed some water on his face, and brushed his teeth, not looking in the mirror anymore.
Outside the bathroom Ian was standing in the hallway, letting the sounds of Anthony brushing his teeth and flushing the toilet chase away the oppressive silence. He suppressed the urge to lean his head against the wall. He didn't want Anthony to find him lurking around like that, so he shuffled to the bedroom. He pulled out the inflatable air mattress, and dumped a blanket and a pillow on it. Anthony could inflate it himself, as far as he was concerned.
He crawled into his own bed and stared at the ceiling, waiting for Anthony to finish in the bathroom. He didn't have to wait long. Anthony opened the door, already yawning. He was, like Ian, only wearing sweatpants. Ian silently pointed at the air mattress lying on the ground.
“Too lazy to inflate it?” Anthony joked half-heartedly.
Ian cracked a small smile.
“Yeah.”
Silence, again. They stared at each other for a moment, something unidentifiable passing between them. Startled, they both averted their eyes. Ian went back to staring at the ceiling, Anthony went to work on getting his bed ready. For a few minutes, the only sound in the room was Anthony taking deep breaths and blowing the air in the mattress.
“Dude, this thing has a hole in it or something. It's not inflating at all.” Anthony panted.
Ian rolled on his side and stared impassively at Anthony.
“Sucks to be you then.” He drawled.
Anthony rolled his eyes. “I'm not gonna sleep on the floor. Don't you have another mattress?”
Ian rolled back on his back again, and leaned up on his elbows. “No.”
Anthony waited for him to say more, but Ian just stared back. The air seemed to have been sucked from the room, replaced by the tension that they could both feel. It became almost unbearable, but neither of them wanted to give in and speak up first. Frustrated brown eyes stared into deviant blue ones. Electricity seemed to crackle between them, and right when Ian was gonna give in and say something, Anthony stood up and crossed the distance between the air mattress and Ian's bed. He yanked the covers off Ian and pushed him to the side. Anthony was bigger and stronger than Ian, who didn't stand a chance. Anthony then simply crawled in next to him.
Ian immediately scooted over to the far side of the bed. “What the hell?”
“I told you I'm not gonna sleep on the floor, so unless you come up with something better, I'll sleep here.”
“No you're not.”
“Yes I am.”
Ian sighed and suddenly pushed Anthony, hoping to make him fall out of the bed. Anthony, however, managed to balance himself with one foot on the ground and rolled right back, shoving Ian against the wall. The time for words was over. Ian growled and punched Anthony in the shoulder. It wasn't his intention to really hurt Anthony, but he wanted to get his revenge.
“Ow, you jerk!” Anthony hissed, and lunged himself at Ian. The two teenagers rolled around in Ian's large bed, wrestling and occasionally landing a punch. All the pent-up frustration of the past weeks seemed to come out in this physical manner. It wasn't a real fight, but it wasn't playful either. Eventually Anthony got a fistful of Ian's hair and he yanked head back, forcing the younger boy to lie on his back, yelping from the pain. Anthony quickly jumped on top of him, straddling his hips. Just as swift, he caught Ian's wrists in his hands and pinned them down. They both stopped moving, catching their breath, but still looking at each other.
And just like that the tension was back, but something had shifted. Without breaking his gaze, Anthony slowly slid off of Ian, ending up lying on his side next to the blue eyed boy. Ian was still lying on his back, but had turned his head to keep on looking at Anthony. Very, very slowly, Ian turned to lie on his side as well, facing Anthony. Their faces were only an inch apart now, but neither of them moved away. Time seemed to slow to a halt as their faces moved even closer, eventually closing the distance.
When their lips met, everything else seemed to melt away. Both of them were only focused on the feeling of the other, how they moved, and how the kiss seemed to be something they had been heading towards for a while now.
They both felt that it was right, but it felt deliciously wrong too. Two boys didn't just kiss like that, lying in bed together. The forbidden character of the kiss made it more intense, more exciting. A tongue darted out, touching soft lips and asking for entrance. A soft moan, and the mouth opened, tongues touching and twisting around each other.
Suddenly Ian snapped his head back, eyes wide, mouth still a bit open.
“Shit Anthony, what did we just do?!” Panicked blue eyes found calm brown ones.
“We kissed.” Anthony stated, seemingly not bothered at all.
Ian opened and closed his mouth a few times, too stunned to say anything. He cleared his throat a few times and managed to choke out: “This doesn't bother you at all?”
Anthony rolled on his back. “No. I'm actually glad this happened. Can't you feel it?”
Ian blinked. “Feel what?”
“The tension that was between us. Things were weird. You must have noticed it, am I right?”
Ian nodded, not looking at Anthony anymore.
“That tension... It's gone now,” Anthony continued, “finally.”
Ian squeezed his eyes shut, utterly confused.
“Are you saying it was sexual tension, or something crazy like that?”
Anthony hesitated for a moment, then shook his head.
“No, it was something else. Ian, I'm gonna tell you something, but, please, don't be angry, okay?”
Ian shrugged. “I'm already having a weird night, I'm emotionally numb right now, so just bring it on.”
Anthony gave him a half sort of smile and began talking. “You know how things have been fucked up between me and my parents?”
Ian nodded. He was well aware of that.
“It's because I told them something. Something about me, that I knew was going to be difficult for them to come to terms with. I wanted to tell you the same thing, that's what has been causing the tension.”
Anthony looked at Ian expectantly. Ian stared back, not getting what Anthony was implying. “What did you tell them?” He asked confused.
Anthony refrained from rolling his eyes, instead letting out a sigh.
“I'm gay, you moron.”
Ian's mouth fell open. He looked his friend up and down, to see if he was joking, or if he suddenly looked 'gay'. Anthony waited patiently for Ian to say something. In hindsight, Ian's bed might not have been the best place to come out of the closet, but after what just happened, Anthony figured that he really shouldn't wait any longer to tell Ian.
Ian cleared his throat. “You're gay? Why didn't you tell me sooner?”
Anthony shrugged. “I only realized this summer. I wanted to tell you, but it was never the right time. I was afraid you might...” He didn't finish his sentence. He was feeling more and more insecure. Anthony had hoped that Ian would react more positively, especially after the kiss. Now he didn't even know if Ian was okay with it. Anthony pulled up his knees a bit, instinctively making himself smaller. He was startled out of his reverie by a warm hand on his shoulder.
“Hey,” Ian said gently, “it's okay, really. It was just a bit unexpected.”
Anthony looked at him, hope filling his eyes. “You're not mad I kissed you?”
Ian chuckled. “Dude... We kissed each other.”
Anthony smiled back. “Does that mean...” He didn't want to finish the sentence, afraid he might offend Ian.
The hand on his shoulder disappeared, which suddenly felt cold. Ian was intently studying Anthony.
“I don't know...” He said slowly, “I don't think so... but I did like that kiss. I'm really confused right now.”
Anthony nodded. “I understand, it's okay. You don't have to lie or anything. I'm just glad you don't hate me.”
Ian shook his head. “I wasn't lying about liking the kiss. I just never thought about kissing a guy, let alone you.” Ian was going to say something else when suddenly he came to a realization. He whipped his head around and stared at his best friend.
“Anthony... Do you... Like me? Like, like me? As in, more than just friends?”
Anthony turned bright red and looked away. He was too afraid of Ian's reaction to give an answer, although he knew that keeping silent was an answer too.
“Oh...” Ian said softly, “oh.”
Anthony nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “This is kinda awkward.”
“Yeah,” Ian said immediately, “it is.”
“I'm sorry,” Anthony said meekly. “I won't try anything, don't worry.”
“No, it's just... I don't know, dude. This is all so messed up, I need to think for a moment.” Ian stuttered, utterly uncomfortable.
Anthony nodded, wiped his clammy hands on his sweatpants and got up.
“Where are you going?” Ian asked confused.
Anthony gestured to the door. “I'm gonna go sleep on the couch. It will give you time to think, and you don't have to sleep in the same bed with me. I understand that you really don't want that now.”
Ian shook his head, reached over and took Anthony's hand in his. He gently pulled him closer until Anthony had no choice but to come back to bed. Ian grabbed the discarded covers and pulled them over the both of them.
The tension was back again, but it was the same tension as right before they had kissed. It was even stronger now.
“Ian...” Anthony tried again. “Are you...?”
“Shut up,” Ian whispered back, “I don't know what we're doing, but it feels right, so I'm doing it.”
He pulled the blanket even higher, so they were both completely hidden under it. It reminded Anthony of when they were younger, and they had to be real quiet, or one of their parents would barge in and tell them to go to sleep. They would often have a flashlight under the blanket as well, giggling over pictures and magazines they were not supposed to have. Now they didn't have a flashlight, and they didn't have a forbidden magazine either. What they did have was each other, and forbidden feelings.
Anthony was afraid of moving, afraid of doing something wrong that would scare Ian off. Ian, on the other hand, wasn't sure about what he was doing in the first place. They had both turned to lie on their sides again, faces close. And just like that, they were kissing again. Neither of them knew who had initiated it, but it didn't matter now. Anthony wasn't sure why Ian was suddenly so okay with everything. It might have something to do with the fact they were still under the covers. It provided a sense of safety, and comfort.
Ian shyly moved his hand closer to Anthony, finally letting it rest on his hip. He was terrified of moving it any closer to where he knew Anthony would want him, but he was also really curious and excited to be doing something that was so new and bad. Anthony placed his hand on Ian's hip as well, but he was careful to let Ian set the pace. They were still passionately kissing, hidden under the blanket.
Ian was fully hard now, and although he hadn't really planned on getting his first sexual experience from a guy, he was too horny to care. He figured that if he moved his hand to Anthony's dick, Anthony would do the same thing. It was kind of ironic that it was Ian who was taking the initiative now, while Anthony was the one who had wanted this in the first place.
It was really hot under the blanket, but neither of them wanted to come out from beneath it. That would make whatever was happening too real. Anthony tentatively slid his hand a bit further back, touching Ian's ass. Ian jerked and firmly grabbed Anthony's hand.
“You stay away from my ass!”
Anthony leaned his head against Ian's forehead.
“Of course,” he breathed, “but if you want, can I maybe touch...you know?”
Anthony waited with bated breath for Ian's answer. He sincerely hoped he hadn't fucked this up. Ian was quiet for a moment, and just when Anthony was going to tell him that it was okay if he didn't want it, Ian whispered,
“Okay.”
Ian did not kiss Anthony again, instead he waited for Anthony to touch him. He could feel Anthony's hand moving lower, slowly sliding over the gray fabric of his sweatpants. Ian felt dizzy, scared, but also very aroused. The only sound in the room was their heavy breathing. Finally Anthony's hand reached the bulge in Ian's pants. He gently pressed against the hard shaft, which was still covered by Ian's clothes.
Ian groaned and squeezed Anthony's shoulder. This was the first time he ever had another hand touching him like that, and it felt very alien and strange. It also felt very good, and right. Anthony moved his hand up, faster now, and slipped the tips of his fingers underneath the waistbands of both Ian's pants and boxers. It was too dark to see each other's face, so Anthony whispered,
“Are you sure about this?”
Ian nodded, and, when he realized Anthony couldn't see that, he choked out a “yes”. Anthony didn't wait any longer, and reached down further and took a firm hold of Ian's cock. Ian promptly bit his lip when he tried not to cry out. Anthony carefully pushed Ian's pants down a bit, so his cock was finally freed.
Ian had no idea what was happening anymore, but at the same time everything was crystal clear. Anthony wrapped his fingers even tighter around Ian's erection, and Ian had to try his best not to come from that one touch alone. To distract himself he slowly slid his hand down Anthony pants as well. He was actually a bit scared to touch the other boy's cock. Ian wondered briefly how this must feel for girls. At least he had touched his own cock before, so he knew what to expect. His fingers reached the soft curls of Anthony's pubic hair, and then the base of Anthony's shaft. He tentatively took a hold of the hard flesh. For a moment he just held it, but when Anthony softly squeezed Ian's own dick, he sprung into action.
He quickly freed Anthony's cock from the confinement of his clothes. Now they were both in the same position, and they were ready to move this further. Anthony could hardly believe this was happening. When he found out this summer that he was gay, he hadn't dared hope that something like this would be happening so soon. He began to softly move his hand up and down, and Ian followed suit. Both boys were keeping as quiet as possible, although there was no one around to hear them.
Anthony dimly realized that this was what people meant by 'experimenting'. He wasn't sure if it really was an experiment though. Sure, he had no idea what he was doing exactly, but he was certain that he liked this. No experiment there. Ian's hand moved faster, and Anthony groaned. He wasn't going to last very long like this.
Both boys' hands moved faster now, sweat running down their backs, both gasping for breath under the heavy blanket. Their free hands desperately grasped each other's shoulder, hair, pants, whatever they could reach.
Ian could feel himself getting closer, Anthony's sloppy hand movements feeling just right. He wasn't sure if he should warn Anthony, but before he could make a decision, he was already there. Gasping, he thrust his hips up in Anthony hand and came. Anthony emitted a surprised sound, but kept going, only stopping when Ian went completely limp. Unfortunately, that also meant that he stopped the movements of his hand.
Impatiently Anthony humped Ian's slack hand.
“Come on Ian, I'm almost there!” He groaned desperately.
Ian tightened his grip again, precome and sweat making it easy to slide his hand up and down. Anthony moaned, and Ian tightened his grip even more, his hand moving so fast that he was sure his wrist would be sore in the morning. His efforts paid off though, for Anthony suddenly stiffened and came all over Ian's hand. For a long moment neither of them said anything. There was nothing to say.
The silence was back, but this time it felt different. It seemed no longer infused with a strange tension, and Ian could feel him relax for the first time in a long while. Anthony rolled on his back and kicked the covers away. Both boys were drenched in sweat, and covered in come.
Ian held up his sticky hand. “Ew, dude, this is so gross.”
He reached out, and before Anthony could get out of the way, he had smeared the come in Anthony's hair. Anthony stared at him, completely perplexed. Then, in a flurry of movement, he tried to wipe his own hand on Ian's face, while simultaneously trying to clean his own hair.
“No, no, no, no, no!” Ian cried out, laughing. “You can't do that! All of this was your fault, you don't get to do this!”
Ian escaped Anthony's grasp and jumped out of the bed, making a beeline for the shower. Anthony followed him of course, determined to either get his revenge, or perhaps a repeat of what just happened, but then in the shower. The tension between them seemed finally gone, and now they could work on relieving some other kind of tension. Experimenting was fun like this.