Childish Pyc is Childish + Epic Cliffhanger

[mercury_hall]

A little snippet from the first section of prose in the Tal'verse. I have no idea if this is staying the way it is. It's a little rambling on purpose, to highlight how young he is, but also I feel like I'm not really getting where I need to with it. It seems to make sense to me, but I know the whole plot so I don't think that really counts. So it

Comments

[riversong09]

This is very interesting. You do very well telling the reader about Pyc, but perhaps try to show more examples . For example, you mention that he lets the children help him plant seeds. That would be an interesting scene to expand on. If you show him interacting with the children, the reader can see just how much he cares about them.

The cliffhanger, the cliffhanger! Why isn't her body there?

[mercury_hall]

Lol, yes the cliffhanger. :P

Thanks for the advice!