Comments | mercury_pheonix: The 'V' Word

mercury_pheonix

The 'V' Word

Nov 26, 2011 23:56

You probably don’t want to hear about my love life.

But you’re probably even less keen on hearing about my lack of a love life.

Today, I was asked the question: ‘are you single?’ This seems to be a question that is perfectly normal, culturally and socially, to ask - so I answered it truthfully. What else was I to do? To discuss one’s love life is ( Read more... )

bisexuality, i'm the only sane person in the world, grrrrrowl, ranty rant, coming out

Comments 13

candi_apple_red November 27 2011, 00:09:35 UTC

*hugs*

Sweetheart, I was a virgin until age 27. (Currently happily married, btw.) Yes, it's odd when/if it comes up, but what the hell business is it of ANYONE?

The only responses that "How long have you been single?" deserves would be:
A. A blank, disbelieving (or confused) stare.
B. "Why, are you available?" (Depending on the person, this can be great fun.)
C. "Are you taking a poll?"
D. Laugh and walk off to speak with more interesting people.
I'm sure others will have even more and more creative possible responses, but the bottom line is no one *deserves* an answer to that personal a question unless they're someone with whom YOU actually want to discuss it. Honestly, some people....

mercury_pheonix November 27 2011, 00:41:17 UTC

I have an innate inability to lie - dancing around the subject I can do, but lying I cannot. These are my friends, after all. I always feel like I'm keeping this huge massive secret and it weighs on my chest. I know it shouldn't feel like that, but it does.

As I said below, with everyone else I know seemingly intent on pairing off, or at least having some kind of intimacy, it does feel like you're missing out on something. And people can be lovely, but I always read something else in there. I'm not ashamed, I shouldn't be, but sometimes that's all I can feel. I don't want to.

Gah, it's so difficult. It's not fair. Live and let live, people.

iantosgal November 27 2011, 00:14:00 UTC

Babe, I'm not being funny. But so what? You're 19 it's not like you're 50! My best friend didn't lose her virginity until she was almost 21. It's not weird. My other best friend lost her virginity when she was like 13 or something stupid and she wasn't ready and she's regretted it ever since. Don't be ashamed, be proud. You're not someone that's made a stupid mistake, you haven't just wandered out and found some drunk random ( ... )

mercury_pheonix November 27 2011, 00:35:36 UTC

The annoying thing is that deep down I know all this. I've always had to put up this wall of strength that no one can see through - so they think I'm rude or unapproachable rather than shy. I know this, but sometimes it feels like that knowledge is buried so deep that I can't reach it. And it's moments like that which produce posts like this. It's a horrible spiralling feeling that I can't control...and I was in the house on my own (not that housemate would have made it any easier) and I just wanted someone to talk to. So I talked to the keyboard, like I usually do when I'm feeling alone with something I need to get off my chest ( ... )

iantosgal November 27 2011, 01:31:04 UTC

Better to talk to a keyboard (and by extention us :P) than to try and keep it bottled up!

There is no pressure babe. If people are putting pressure on you then you need to stand up and tell them to shove off. It's got nothing to do with them and the shouldn't be allowed to make you feel like that. It's just making your own opinion of yourself worse because you start thinking other people agree with how you see yourself.

I know how you feel. I was always the one left on my own while everyone paired up. Even now, I feel like that sometimes. I don't get to see my boyfriend very much because of uni but my friends can cop of with some guy if they want. I also feel left out by them sometimes because they've become majorly close and sometimes I feel pushed out. So yeah I know that feeling. Tw's company, three's a crowd etc etc.

Definitly don't let it fester. There's always people on here for you to vent at! :D x

reddevilpoes November 27 2011, 07:05:28 UTC

Damn, I want to just hug you and call you stupid names like 'hun' or 'sweetie' But that seems so daft as I don't know you at all, and still I feel like I know you ( ... )

littleuglytray November 27 2011, 17:04:20 UTC

So much of this post could have been taken from inside my head when I was your age, and so much of it could be taken from inside my head now, 10 years later, because nothing has changed for me. Well except for the fact that people don't even pity me now when they realise I've always been single and alone. Now I see understanding, like it all makes sense to them suddenly. They see me and understand that of course no one would have loved me or wanted to be with me. And as for the few friends I have left, they would never think to 'help me' or whatever because they know that it's no use. There's nothing to love here. Guys don't even attempt to chat me up, and never have, so it's not as if I'm turning away opportunities - I don't have whatever it is that people want in a partner ( ... )

angelkitty101 November 27 2011, 22:02:22 UTC

Right, fwiw I think you are INCREDIBLY HOT! I am not alone in thinking this btw. Remember, you are 'The Hot Ianto Jones Girl', and have been since 2009. File that away in 'Things that I need to remember regularly'! If necessary, I will make a badge with it on! So there ( ... )