i like this guy, but i don't know if he likes me. We talk a lot and have good times together, but I don't know if he likes me on that level though. I don't know what to do.
Thanks for reading my story and for commenting. Was the selfinsertion working? Should I keep going or try something new? Have you read the other parts?
The self insertion is fine, it let me know what was going on(I thought it was cool who you inserted the reader into the story as well! In part 1 the story was fine(thank god little naru-chan didn't get raped)! In part 2, at the beginning i was confused as to why i was included into the story, but as i finished reading it, it captured my attention, and i was curious about how naruto had an older sister, so it made want to read on. In part 3,it was fine, but i think you should add more to the story about naruto's older sister and to how sasuke and naruto got together. Does sasuke know that naruto had a sister? If not, he should have been suprised when i caught them in the act. When did naruto find out he had a sibling? What about all the rest of the naruto characters? Do they know about the older sister or naruto and sasuke's relationship? Sorry the post is so long! I just wanted to help a little and tell you my opinions. Luv Ya!
Well thank you for reading and thank you even more for a helpful comment. As I stated this is my first story and i'm not much of a writer so any comments help. To clarify you are not actually Naruto's sister. The third Hokage had left in his belongings the outline for a mission where someone would be Naruto's unofficial guardian. We will definitely hear more about Rei and what happened to her. Your comment about the other shinobi you put some VERY funny parts into my head which i will write into the story probably in chapter six. As for Sasuke and Naruto not thinking about you walking in... well they were wrapped up in what they were doing now weren't they? Cheers!!!
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Cheers!!!
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