Longing to Belong - Chapter 21
Chapter 21
Birch Creek, January 2003
“This is so good,” Rachel gushed after tasting the first forkful of the vegetable casserole that Teaspoon had served her. Previously that night as she was getting ready, her nerves had been twice as frayed as the day before. After the episode with Louise refusing to come out of her room, she was certain to expect hostility from the girl again. Even though she had called her to apologize and asked her for a chance to redeem herself, Rachel knew that this was something she must have done under duress. So tonight she had braced herself to endure another uncomfortable moment, but so far she had been wrong. This time Lou had already been in the living room to receive her, and although cold and detached, the girl had been civil and polite.
“I didn’t cook it, Rachel,” Teaspoon replied to her comment. “Lou did. Actually, she did all the cooking tonight.”
Rachel turned her smiling to the girl. “I’m really impressed. Nice and healthy food. What a treat! You know, it’s a constant struggle with my sons, who all they want to eat is food full of calories, carbohydrates, and sugar. I bet they’ve even deleted the word ‘vegetables’ from their vocabulary.”
Teaspoon chuckled and Lou kept a serious countenance as she tidily gathered a forkful of vegetables and brought it to her mouth. Wiping her mouth and swallowing the food, she said, “I can’t eat many foods, and when my mom passed away, dad and I had to learn how to cook.”
Rachel nodded, glad the girl had spoken voluntarily, but what she was at loss was how to respond to her mentioning her mother. That was a delicate subject, and Rachel feared that whatever she said, Louise could take it the wrong way. Therefore, she opted for not referring to her mother at all. “I can perfectly understand now why your father is so proud of you.”
“She’s my little jewel,” Teaspoon added. “I couldn’t have wished for a better daughter.”
Lou blushed and lowered her face, feeling embarrassed and quite miffed. All this praise of her talents sounded so fake to her ears, and she had the hunch her father and Rachel were only trying to butter her up and knock down her resistance. Lou wished they’d stop. They didn’t need to pander to her. Hadn’t she finally agreed to meet Rachel Dunne as she had promised? Now they should leave her alone with her own feelings and misery.
In truth, Rachel wasn’t horrible - actually, she had never expected her to be - but she simply didn’t want her father to have a girlfriend. That, though, had nothing to do with her loyalty to her mother. Unfortunately, her mom had been dead for a long time, and she and Papa Teaspoon had learned to live on their own, and Lou just felt that they didn’t need anybody else. They were fine as they were. And what if her father decided to marry Rachel Dunne? Lately, Lou was very much aware that Teaspoon wasn’t her real father, only her legal guardian, and because of her meddlesome real father, he had not been able to adopt her legally. So if he re-married, would his wife be happy to include Lou in their family? Or would she be banished? Long ago her father had promised they would always be together, but … would he remember his promise now that he was happily in love with Rachel Dunne?
Louise hardly spoke another word for the rest of the evening, only answering concisely when asked. When the meal was over, she insisted on clearing the table and declined when Rachel offered to help. Then she escaped to find refuge in the kitchen where she started doing the dishes.
“It didn’t go too bad considering, did it?” Teaspoon remarked when he found himself alone with his special guest.
Rachel agreed with a shake of her head. “You were right. She seems like a nice girl.”
“But she isn’t this silent girl you saw tonight. She’s warm, lively, smiles a lot… she isn’t too talkative, and not this quiet.”
“She just needs time, Teaspoon.”
“I know. We didn’t expect her to fall in your arms, so to speak, but I don’t know… I just hoped something else.” Teaspoon paused, and then asked, “Would you like some coffee or maybe a snifter?”
Rachel shook her head. “I’d better not outstay my welcome.” Teaspoon made to speak, but Rachel beat him to it. “I think we shouldn’t push Lou’s limits more than necessary. I think she deserves a break.”
Teaspoon nodded his agreement. Then Rachel popped to the kitchen to bid Lou goodbye and thank her again for the lovely meal. Louise’s responses were curt and scant, and she did not even smile. Teaspoon walked Rachel to the door, and when he stepped back into the kitchen, his daughter was still busy with the plates.
“Maybe we should get one of those dishwashers,” he remarked as he stopped by Lou in front of the sink. Lou did not say anything to his comment and continued soaping the dishes, so Teaspoon added, “let me give you a hand. You’ll wash and rinse, and I’ll dry and put everything away.”
They worked in silence for a few minutes, and when Teaspoon could not hold his tongue any longer, he said, “Anything you want to tell me, honey?”
Lou turned her eyes to him, and pulled a tendril of ahir away from her forehead with the back of her wrist. “About what?”
Teaspoon dropped the tea towel he was using and drew his full attention to the girl. “Don’t be so flippant, Lou. You know what I mean… about tonight… about Rachel and what you think of her.”
“It doesn’t matter what I think.”
“Of course it does!” Teaspoon placed his hands on her slender shoulders and turned her towards him. “You’re my daughter, and I care about your opinion.”
Lou curved her lips into an indifferent expression. “She’s all right but… I hardly know her.”
“You were very quiet tonight. That’s not like you.”
Louise shrugged her shoulders. “There was nothing much to say, dad. I promised I’d be well-behaved and wouldn’t make trouble, and I did so.”
“You were as good as gold, honey, but I really hope you grow to like Rachel instead of sounding as if you were following orders.”
“This… this is so strange to me, dad. I just don’t want things to change.”
Teaspoon nodded. “Things change whether we want it or not, sweetheart. One thing I can assure you won’t change… ever… is my love for you. Whatever happens, whatever I or you do, and whoever we meet, I’ll never stop loving you.” At his words tears sprang up at her eyes, and Teaspoon wrapped an arm around her neck, hugging her close. “Oh my girl, my lovely girl!” As he released her, he looked into her wet eyes and said, “Do you know that I’m also afraid of changes?” Lou knitted her brow questioningly, and he elaborated, “You’re growing up so quickly, and that means too many changes. One day you’ll fly the nest and leave me alone.”
“I’ll never leave you, dad. Never.”
“Oh but you will. When you go to study in college, or when you fall in love and…”
Lou shook her head energetically, and her voice cut Teaspoon off in mid-sentence. “I won’t leave you,” she repeated. “I might not go to college and… I’ll never fall in love!” Teaspoon raised an eyebrow in amusement, and feeling affronted, Lou held her ground. “I mean it, dad! Emily’s all besotted with a neighbor of hers, and now she acts like an idiot! All she does is talk about him non-stop! It’s unbearable, and I swear I’ll never become such a blubbering idiot!”
Teaspoon could not help but chuckle at her outburst, and patting her head in an appeasing way, he simply said, “We’ll see.”
Birch Creek, January 2003
“This is so good,” Rachel gushed after tasting the first forkful of the vegetable casserole that Teaspoon had served her. Previously that night as she was getting ready, her nerves had been twice as frayed as the day before. After the episode with Louise refusing to come out of her room, she was certain to expect hostility from the girl again. Even though she had called her to apologize and asked her for a chance to redeem herself, Rachel knew that this was something she must have done under duress. So tonight she had braced herself to endure another uncomfortable moment, but so far she had been wrong. This time Lou had already been in the living room to receive her, and although cold and detached, the girl had been civil and polite.
“I didn’t cook it, Rachel,” Teaspoon replied to her comment. “Lou did. Actually, she did all the cooking tonight.”
Rachel turned her smiling to the girl. “I’m really impressed. Nice and healthy food. What a treat! You know, it’s a constant struggle with my sons, who all they want to eat is food full of calories, carbohydrates, and sugar. I bet they’ve even deleted the word ‘vegetables’ from their vocabulary.”
Teaspoon chuckled and Lou kept a serious countenance as she tidily gathered a forkful of vegetables and brought it to her mouth. Wiping her mouth and swallowing the food, she said, “I can’t eat many foods, and when my mom passed away, dad and I had to learn how to cook.”
Rachel nodded, glad the girl had spoken voluntarily, but what she was at loss was how to respond to her mentioning her mother. That was a delicate subject, and Rachel feared that whatever she said, Louise could take it the wrong way. Therefore, she opted for not referring to her mother at all. “I can perfectly understand now why your father is so proud of you.”
“She’s my little jewel,” Teaspoon added. “I couldn’t have wished for a better daughter.”
Lou blushed and lowered her face, feeling embarrassed and quite miffed. All this praise of her talents sounded so fake to her ears, and she had the hunch her father and Rachel were only trying to butter her up and knock down her resistance. Lou wished they’d stop. They didn’t need to pander to her. Hadn’t she finally agreed to meet Rachel Dunne as she had promised? Now they should leave her alone with her own feelings and misery.
In truth, Rachel wasn’t horrible - actually, she had never expected her to be - but she simply didn’t want her father to have a girlfriend. That, though, had nothing to do with her loyalty to her mother. Unfortunately, her mom had been dead for a long time, and she and Papa Teaspoon had learned to live on their own, and Lou just felt that they didn’t need anybody else. They were fine as they were. And what if her father decided to marry Rachel Dunne? Lately, Lou was very much aware that Teaspoon wasn’t her real father, only her legal guardian, and because of her meddlesome real father, he had not been able to adopt her legally. So if he re-married, would his wife be happy to include Lou in their family? Or would she be banished? Long ago her father had promised they would always be together, but … would he remember his promise now that he was happily in love with Rachel Dunne?
Louise hardly spoke another word for the rest of the evening, only answering concisely when asked. When the meal was over, she insisted on clearing the table and declined when Rachel offered to help. Then she escaped to find refuge in the kitchen where she started doing the dishes.
“It didn’t go too bad considering, did it?” Teaspoon remarked when he found himself alone with his special guest.
Rachel agreed with a shake of her head. “You were right. She seems like a nice girl.”
“But she isn’t this silent girl you saw tonight. She’s warm, lively, smiles a lot… she isn’t too talkative, and not this quiet.”
“She just needs time, Teaspoon.”
“I know. We didn’t expect her to fall in your arms, so to speak, but I don’t know… I just hoped something else.” Teaspoon paused, and then asked, “Would you like some coffee or maybe a snifter?”
Rachel shook her head. “I’d better not outstay my welcome.” Teaspoon made to speak, but Rachel beat him to it. “I think we shouldn’t push Lou’s limits more than necessary. I think she deserves a break.”
Teaspoon nodded his agreement. Then Rachel popped to the kitchen to bid Lou goodbye and thank her again for the lovely meal. Louise’s responses were curt and scant, and she did not even smile. Teaspoon walked Rachel to the door, and when he stepped back into the kitchen, his daughter was still busy with the plates.
“Maybe we should get one of those dishwashers,” he remarked as he stopped by Lou in front of the sink. Lou did not say anything to his comment and continued soaping the dishes, so Teaspoon added, “let me give you a hand. You’ll wash and rinse, and I’ll dry and put everything away.”
They worked in silence for a few minutes, and when Teaspoon could not hold his tongue any longer, he said, “Anything you want to tell me, honey?”
Lou turned her eyes to him, and pulled a tendril of ahir away from her forehead with the back of her wrist. “About what?”
Teaspoon dropped the tea towel he was using and drew his full attention to the girl. “Don’t be so flippant, Lou. You know what I mean… about tonight… about Rachel and what you think of her.”
“It doesn’t matter what I think.”
“Of course it does!” Teaspoon placed his hands on her slender shoulders and turned her towards him. “You’re my daughter, and I care about your opinion.”
Lou curved her lips into an indifferent expression. “She’s all right but… I hardly know her.”
“You were very quiet tonight. That’s not like you.”
Louise shrugged her shoulders. “There was nothing much to say, dad. I promised I’d be well-behaved and wouldn’t make trouble, and I did so.”
“You were as good as gold, honey, but I really hope you grow to like Rachel instead of sounding as if you were following orders.”
“This… this is so strange to me, dad. I just don’t want things to change.”
Teaspoon nodded. “Things change whether we want it or not, sweetheart. One thing I can assure you won’t change… ever… is my love for you. Whatever happens, whatever I or you do, and whoever we meet, I’ll never stop loving you.” At his words tears sprang up at her eyes, and Teaspoon wrapped an arm around her neck, hugging her close. “Oh my girl, my lovely girl!” As he released her, he looked into her wet eyes and said, “Do you know that I’m also afraid of changes?” Lou knitted her brow questioningly, and he elaborated, “You’re growing up so quickly, and that means too many changes. One day you’ll fly the nest and leave me alone.”
“I’ll never leave you, dad. Never.”
“Oh but you will. When you go to study in college, or when you fall in love and…”
Lou shook her head energetically, and her voice cut Teaspoon off in mid-sentence. “I won’t leave you,” she repeated. “I might not go to college and… I’ll never fall in love!” Teaspoon raised an eyebrow in amusement, and feeling affronted, Lou held her ground. “I mean it, dad! Emily’s all besotted with a neighbor of hers, and now she acts like an idiot! All she does is talk about him non-stop! It’s unbearable, and I swear I’ll never become such a blubbering idiot!”
Teaspoon could not help but chuckle at her outburst, and patting her head in an appeasing way, he simply said, “We’ll see.”