"Fool for Love" Spaiku, Part 6: Temptation

[mere_ubu]

You know how I said there was only one more batch of William haiku to go? As I feared, a Brownie drop-out's honor is, indeed, not good for much. Every time I think I have a scene down to irreducible parts, it shivers into ever smaller pieces. Darn JM and his multilayered performance! Darn him to heck! Honest and for true, though, this is the next-

Comments

[petzipellepingo]

“Do you want it?” Yes.
Not sure what she’s offering;
dying to find out.

Yes, dying being the operative word. Poor William, such an innocent little lamb.

[mere_ubu]

I was, for reasons that now escape me, willfully avoiding using the word "dying" and then I thought, "Well, duh! Of course he is!" William breaks my heart.

Thanks for reading, ma'am. :)

[philips]

I love that you dig deeper and deeper.

“Do you want it?” Yes.
Not sure what she’s offering;
dying to find out.

Which has me wondering what would have happened if the answer had been no. Reading this brings back that strange softness in her voice. You alway make these scenes come so alive.

Cool caress inflames.
Desire blooms like blood in snow,
a creeping red stain.

Can I say again how beautiful this is?

[mere_ubu]

I love that you love that!

Although it pains me to say so, I think that if he had said, "No," Drusilla would have had herself a nice little snack and been on her way. After all, she really is just kind of fickle.

Thank you so much. And thank you for helping me go with that one! It was the one I initially wanted but I really needed to bounce it off someone wise first. (The line between Spaiku and Bloody Awful Haiku is perilously thin.)

[diachrony]

Just gorgeous.

[mere_ubu]

Oh, thank you! <333

[louise39]

Desire blooms like blood in snow

Both of them had desires. Neither worked out exactly as wanted.

Lovely and well worked. As always.

[mere_ubu]

Neither worked out exactly as wanted.

*nods* I think they're both lost souls (well, not literally--heh) looking for something more. Instead they get 120 years of co-dependence!

[herself_nyc]

A triumph! These are gorgeous.
But now I want to see the ones that got away, too ….

[mere_ubu]

*squee* Thank you so much!

Believe me, you don't want to see all of them. There were a few things I had to jettison that will definitely end up somewhere else.