well, this may be my last post for several days (as if i update daily and this is really gonna fuck up everyone's time schedule). anyway, tomorrow at 12 in the midday i will be getting cut open and un-broken. i'm not scared at all, and that is the thing that scares me. i feel like i should be worried or getting nervous or something, but i'm not. it ( Read more... )

and then.....when i was set in deciding a person's ways and judging them on the past, i was sent a message from God that clearly states, "logan, you need to keep your eyes open." i've never fallen in ____ so quickly...and i know that i probably shouldn't. she has a boyfriend. she is far away. she is, at first re-encounter anyway, a match. damn ( Read more... )

eight days away from surgery. tomorrow there is a whole list of medications that i have to stop taking(only one or two apply to me), thankfully i can still take my Lortabs. monday i had pre-admission testing...peed in a cup, had blood drawn(the absolute worst part of all this), and i had to talk to my anesthesiologist(sp) about my health history. ( Read more... )

i knocked.......i waited......i knocked ( Read more... )

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ATTENTION ALL: help needed on dec 16 by way of prayers, chants, good tidings, and positive energy as i will be having surgery on my back to fix a disk problem located therein. please help me out with afforementioned tools as i am somewhat scared to be having back surgery ( Read more... )

the evening never suits me. i'm much more of a daytime person. this is paradoxal to my soul, which was born under a lost moon in the planting season. it doesn't explain anything though. it doesn't explain why my mind changes with the wind. it doesn't explain how my ideas of love are skewed to the same extent as misguided "smartbombs" plowing into ( Read more... )

i can't sleep. i don't feel tired anymore, ever. naps keep me in fuel, but they can never satisfy my need for sleep. i shout across the heavens for god to hear me. he shouts back. i can't make out the words, though. i've cut out everything that took away from natural sleep. i took out the drugs, and i miss them. i took out the tv, and i miss it, ( Read more... )

twenty seven days..............................................