Fic: One Day (Part 4)
WARNING Spoilers for Harry Potter 7
September 15th 2016
3.16 pm (UK)
Colin flumped down gratefully onto the sofa and rubbed his hands over his face. It had been a long day. He had been up at five in the morning because they needed a certain type of lighting for the shoot they were doing. It sort of made Colin miss Doctor Who when a lot of the lighting was done using electrical lights and the night shoots he had done were few and far between. But he had left Doctor Who behind now, much to the disappointment of his fans, and was now working on an obscure Irish short. He liked to go back to his roots occasionally. He wasn’t being paid much but it was nice to be back in Ireland for a few months, seeing his family and actually being able to speak in his own accent was always a novelty when in Doctor Who he had put on his English accent.
It was a miserable day though with the mist rolling off the coast and a steady drizzle making the world seem dull and gray. He was away from home as well and he missed his friends and Claire who was back in London. But he had plans to see Katie later so that was something to look forward too.
A blast of the Ghostbusters theme tune tore him from his reverie. His phone. Only the possibility that it might be important made him get up and cross the room to his coat and dig through the pockets. His face lit up when he saw the call id.
‘Bradley!’ He cried happily into the phone. It had been a long time since they had talked on the phone, still using emails as their main form of communication.
‘Hey Col!’ Bradley beamed. ‘Wow are you in Ireland?’
‘Yeah why?’
‘You sound really Irish’ Bradley laughed. ‘Oh hang on...’ There was a brief crackle and then Colin heard Bradley’s voice again further away as if he was holding the phone at arm’s length. ‘What?... No it’s just Colin. Go back to bed... ok yeah see you in a bit.’
Colin laughed. ‘Was that Sam?’ Sam was Bradley’s latest ‘boyfriend’.
‘Yeah. He calls you my other boyfriend’ Bradley laughed. ‘I think I may talk about you too much.’
Colin chuckled too. ‘You don’t wanna know what Claire calls you.’ Claire, having first thought that their friendship was very sweet went to being highly suspicious of it especially as a picture had appeared in the papers of he and Bradley at the zoo holding hands with the headline ‘Doctor Who in gay sex scandal?’ That took a while to blow over and a lot of grovelling on Colin’s part to get Claire to forgive him.
‘Anyway I called for a reason!’ Bradley remembered suddenly. ‘I was er... tinkering with the satellite dish and I managed to get it to broadcast channel four. As in English channel four. And it’s almost 3.25 so what does that mean?’
‘Countdown!’ they chorused and Colin flipped on the TV. ‘Still engaging in illegal activities I see’ Colin said fondly.
‘Wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t’ Bradley pointed out.
‘It must be like 6.30 am there’ Colin realised incredulously as the title rolled.
‘I got up specially. Countdown is our thing!’ Bradley exclaimed and Colin couldn’t help but smile.
‘I can’t believe countdown is still going’ he said.
‘I know! And the same people too. Jeff Stelling and Rachel Riley have been doing this for years now!’
‘Not as long as Carol Vorderman and what’s his name did it’ Colin said.
‘Richard Whiteley?’ Bradley guessed.
‘Yeah him. But they’ve still got Susie on Dictionary Corner as well. She’s being doing it as long as I can remember .’
‘Yeah she’s been there a long time. Alright place your bets. Who do you thinks gonna win?’ Bradley asked as the contestants were introduced.
‘Hmm I’ll take Eoin. Seven time winner and he’s Irish!’ Colin said.
‘He looks about twelve’ Bradley snorted. ‘You can have him. I’ll take Pete.’
‘He’s fourteen actually’ Colin said, having actually been listening. ‘So there’ he added childishly and Bradley tutted at him.
‘I suppose I should just be grateful that Deal or no Deal has finally died a death. So you can’t force me to watch it afterwards’ Bradley said.
‘I wouldn’t anyway. I told you I’ve never been able to watch it since we watched it together. It was just too scarring’ Colin shuddered. ‘But I still expect something if I win.’
Bradley chuckled. ‘I’ll send you some rolo’s in the post’ he promised.
‘Dude I don’t think they make rolo’s anymore’ Colin said sadly.
‘No way! Fine I’ll send you some lemon sherbet. That’s your favourite isn’t it?’
‘It sure is’ Colin agreed though he couldn’t ever remember telling Bradley that. ‘Oh oh look. It’s starting!’ he shouted. AOESNTNAM he scribbled on the back of an envelope. He had a pen in his pocket but he hadn’t bothered to go and find some real paper.
‘Does Santa count as a real word?’ Bradley asked absently.
‘Probably. I expect it’s in the dictionary’ Colin said. ‘But it’s only a five.’
‘True...’ Bradley fell silent until the familiar tune announced the end of time. ‘Six’ he said.
‘Me too. You know I don’t feel like I’ve got better at this with age despite your insistence that we were only crap at it because we were young.'
Bradley laughed. ‘I fear you're right. We’re just shit. What’s your word?’
‘Sonnet’ Colin said.
‘Mine was tonnes... What they both got seven!’ Bradley exclaimed. ‘Beaten by a fourteen year old. This game gives me so much rage.’
‘I’ve noticed.’ Colin said drily. ‘There was that time you threw the dictionary...’
‘Hey I didn’t throw it! It slipped out my hand. Anyway so not the point right now. What does mannose even mean!? I swear that’s not a real word.’ Bradley yelled.
‘Some chemistry term’ Colin chirped. ‘I notice that Pete’s word was disallowed.’ He said innocently. ‘That’s too bad.’
‘Is this kid some kind of child prodigy or something?’ Bradley asked grumpily, already sensing he was going to lose.
‘Looks like it’ Colin said cheerily, already scribbling down the next set of letters. RHIELDSIR. Then he heard the clack of laptop keys on the other end of the phone.
‘Bradley are you using the internet to help you?’
‘No...’ Bradley said shiftily.
‘Bradley!’
‘I’m kidding.’ Bradley laughed. ‘I’m just using notepad because I can’t find a working pen in this place. If I was cheating don’t you think I would have said mannoose or whatever it was?’
‘Mannose’ Colin corrected. ‘And no because you would know that I would ask you what it meant and you didn’t know.’
‘You know Colin it hurts that you don’t trust me’ Bradley said in a wounded voice and Colin laughed.
‘Alright alright I believe you’ he conceded and they spent the last few seconds of time frantically scribbling.
‘I got shield’ Bradley said once the time is up.
‘Me too’ Colin said. ‘Must be Merlin subconsciously coming back to us.’
‘Oh they both got six too!’ Bradley said happily.
‘Alas your guy got discounted again!’ Colin said mockingly.
‘Oh my God is this guy an idiot or what? Shired? What’s that?’ Bradley complained. ‘Come on Pete you can bring it back!’
‘Oh dictionary corner got dishier’ Colin commented. ‘A seven.’
‘I’ve always wondered how dictionary corner always manages to find good words. I mean how do they search?’ Bradley said.
‘Yeah I’ve always wondered that too.’
The game went on like that with the pair of them competing and trading insults as always while secretly relishing doing something so comfortable and familiar together, even if it was over the phone. Colin could almost imagine that Bradley was sprawled out on the sofa next to him, taking up way more space than was necessary and getting enraged at whichever contestant he was backing. He always seemed to back the loser.
‘And once again my guy is the winner!’ Colin said triumphantly, punching the air even though Bradley couldn’t see.
‘This is why I don’t gamble’ Bradley muttered. ‘But anyway I beat you.’
‘Yeah well luckily for me the prize is based on which contestant wins and not on which one of us wins. So you owe me lemon sherbet.’ Colin joked.
‘Fine. Ok let’s see if I put it into the post tomorrow with a second class stamp, bearing in mind the efficiency of the post office...’ Bradley muttered to himself, ‘yeah you should be getting it within the next shall we say two to three years?’
Colin laughed. ‘Yeah the post is pretty bad. Maybe you can email me cyber sherbet.’
‘Probably can. You can get cyber anything these days’ Bradley said. ‘Oh hang on...’ Colin could hear Sam’s voice in the background again. And then Bradley was back. ‘Look I gotta go. I better try and get more shuteye before I go to this audition this afternoon.’
‘Alright’ Colin said sadly. ‘Good luck!’
‘Thanks I’ll need it. See ya!’
‘Bye’
*
4. 15 pm (UK)
Colin had just gone into the kitchen to get a cup of tea when his phone rang again making him jump. His heart leapt excitedly as he thought that it was Bradley calling him back. He grabbed his phone and was disappointed to see Claire’s name flash up on the screen. And then he felt terrible for being disappointed to hear from his wife.
‘Hey sweets!’ he said, cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear so that he could put a tea bag in a mug and pour in the hot water.
‘Don’t hey sweets me!’ Claire said. ‘I’ve been trying to get hold of you for an hour!’
‘Sorry’ Colin said frowning at her irrational anger. ‘I was just on the phone to... someone else.’ Something told him that bringing up Bradley now probably wasn’t the best idea.
‘Who?’ Claire demanded.
‘...Katie’ Colin blurted after a short pause. ‘I’m seeing her tonight.’
‘What?’
‘You know Katie yeah? Well she lives in Ireland so we thought we should definitely meet up while I was here.’
‘You were thinking of going out with another woman without telling me?’ Claire snapped.
‘I’m telling you now?’ Colin tried, sensing he was on shaky ground.
‘You were on the phone with her for an hour and now you’re going to see her.’
‘Yes. She is my friend Claire’ Colin said reasonably.
‘Well you go out and have fun with her then!’ Claire spat.
‘Claire her husband will be...’ Colin started but Claire had already hung up. Colin stared at the phone incredulously before pressing the call back button. ‘What the fuck just happened?’ he muttered to himself as it rang.
‘Don’t you trust me? Is that it?’ he demanded the second she picked up the phone.
‘What?’ Claire said shiftily. The question had evidently taken the wind out of her sails.
‘I mean despite the fact that I took you to her wedding and her husband’s going to be there and the fact that I thought you knew I love you and would never do anything to deliberately hurt you, you still think I’m going to do something?’ Colin ranted.
‘Colin... I’m sorry’ Claire said and Colin felt the anger leave him at her unexpected response. ‘I just really miss you. I’m jealous of the idea of anyone seeing you. And I had a bad day and then I couldn’t get hold of you so you could make it better like you always do and I got angry. It was stupid. I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me.’
‘Oh it’s ok. Tell me about your day.’
Colin sighed in relief as it appeared the argument was over. They had been arguing too much recently. He resolved to buy flowers for Claire when he got home. He had used to buy her flowers all the time but he hadn’t in a while. As Claire poured out the outrages of the day and he listened and sympathised and let out angry exclamations in all the right places he thought they might be ok. For now.
*
12.32 pm (US)
‘Name?’ the casting director asked shortly.
‘Bradley James.’
‘Age?’
‘Thirty two’ Bradley said uncomfortably.
‘Part?’
‘Hercules.’
‘Ok if you’d like to read from page fifty four please...’
Bradley launched into the monologue and tried to rid himself of his nerves. This was his first ever film audition. A modern take on Hercules, a story he had loved as a child and would relish the chance to work on. But better than that was the fact that a lot of shooting happened in London. Which just happened to be where Colin was. The thought strengthened him and dispelled a lot of his nerves for now. Of course this being Hollywood, there was a romantic subplot inserted into the story and the monologue he had been asked to do was the one where he was telling Attilia, the girl he was in love with, how he felt. Bradley decided to use the techniques they had forced down his throat at drama school and pictured saying it to someone he loved. To Colin. He pictured him standing there, leaning casually against a door frame with that mischievous grin on his face, his hair long enough to look scruffy but it looked perfect to Bradley. He pictured Colin so vividly that he fancied he could smell his head and shoulders shampoo and that distinctive scent that he had of his own. It was a fresh smell like rain on freshly cut grass.
‘What is the point of immortality if you have no one to share it with? Forever is a long time without someone you love by your side. I know you think I am more brawn than brain but I know my own feelings. When you smile it is enough to bring a smile to my own face. When I see you cry I feel I would steal the stars from the sky if it would make you happy. Whenever I think about not seeing you even if it’s just for one day I feel this emptiness inside me that I know can only be filled by you. But at the same time I know the time we spend apart makes the time we spend together all the more sweet. I would renounce immortality in a moment if I knew you would be by my side until the day I died. I guess I’m trying to tell you I love you and that I will for as long as I live, no matter how long that is.’ Bradley played it fierce, longing and desperate. He knew he was taking a risk but he also knew you sometimes had to take a risk to stand out from the crowd.
The casting director and the two producers all looked at each other briefly before giving him some polite applause. ‘You’ll be hearing in two to three weeks’ the guy in the middle said and Bradley nodded before turning and leaving. They gave nothing away and as a result he had no idea how it had gone.
*
7.45 pm(UK)
‘Colin!’ Katie cried, waving to attract his attention and he smiled, wending his way through the tables towards her.
‘Katie!’ he cried in delight as he reached her and leant to kiss her on the cheek. ‘You look beautiful tonight as always.’
‘Hey careful that’s my wife you’re talking about’ her husband joked.
‘Haha hello Paul. It’s nice to see you again.’ Colin smiled warmly and shook his hand.
‘And you mate and you. I checked this restaurant out before hand and there seems to be a good selection for you creepy vegetarian types’ Paul said jovially.
‘It’s so unfair!’ Colin complained as they all seated themselves. ‘Prejudice towards vegetarians seems to be the only acceptable form of prejudice these days.’
‘Hey you’re talking to a guy with red hair. No sympathy from me!’ Paul said and Colin smiled sheepishly. He had met Paul quite a few times now and every time he saw him he bombarded him with ginger jokes. ‘Luckily Katie warned me about your ginger racism’ Paul added mock seriously and Colin and Katie laughed.
‘So Colin how are you?’ Katie asked. ‘Oh... I’ll have a Gin and Tonic please’ she added as the waitress came round to take a drink order.
‘You up for sharing a bottle of red Colin?’ Paul asked and Colin nodded. ‘Yeah we’ll have a bottle of the...’ Paul consulted the wine list, ‘merlot please.’
‘Ok I’ll be back with those soon’ the waitress smiled.
‘Where were we? Oh yeah how are you Colin?’ Katie said.
‘Yeah ok I guess. I had kinda a rough day. Early shoot and then I had an argument with Claire over the phone. But I also got a call from Bradley!’ Colin said and Katie noticed how he brightened when he said that.
‘Ah the infamous Bradley James’ Paul said. ‘I would very much like to meet him.’
‘Yeah the last time I saw him was at your wedding Col.’ Katie said. ‘It’s a shame you couldn’t make that Paul, as far as I know that’s like the one time he’s been in England in the last five years.’
‘The second but yeah. I was surprised he showed up too.’ Colin agreed.
‘Forgive me Colin but I was surprised that you were having a wedding. I always thought that you and Bradley were... you know? Together.’ Paul said. ‘No offence’ he added quickly.
‘Just because you say no offence it doesn’t make the statement non offensive’ Colin said but he was grinning. ‘It’s like people that say ‘I’m not racist but...’ and then proceed to say something totally racist but they think it’s ok because they’ve qualified it somehow. Anyway not the point. Yeah you can be forgiven for thinking me and Bradley were together. It seems a lot of people thought that.’ Colin was always surprised by that, he hadn’t been aware that he and Bradley gave off that vibe. And no one even knew they had slept together, not even Katie or Angel.
The meal went well. Colin loved Katie of course and had always gotten on well with Paul. They were all relaxed in each other’s company and had a good chat about nothing in particular. Colin found out that Katie had turned to directing as her next project and that Angel, who he hadn’t heard from in a while, was shooting in Italy at the moment. And then Paul waved his fork to emphasise a point and it took all Colin’s self control not to grab his hand and shout ‘Cutlery Bradley!’ Because this wasn’t Bradley and he figured he must have made a bad decision in his life at some point to be sat here with a happily married couple and not be missing his own wife but a man he had had a brief fling with four years previously.
*
September 15th 2017
9.32 am (UK)
‘Dude where are you?’ Bradley complained into the phone.
‘God I’m on my way Mr Impatient. I think that the train is due to pull in at 9.35 so I’m five minutes away not even that.’
‘Well it’s just bloody typical that the three months I’m in London you sod off the Edinburgh isn’t it? I think it’s rather ill-considered of you.’ Bradley sniffed.
‘Yes it was very selfish of me not to run my shooting schedule by you first’ Colin agreed with a grin. ‘Anyway just be thankful that I’m spending my precious day off with you. Which reminds me. Is Claire there yet?’
‘Claire?’ Bradley asked in sudden alarm.
‘Yeah she’s coming too of course. It will be a chance for you to get to meet her properly. I mean I know you met at the wedding but... yeah.’
Bradley knew what Colin meant. He had come to the wedding for the ceremony and then about an hour at the reception, just long enough to do his best man speech before he had left with some vague excuse about work. In truth he was just too freaked out about meeting the woman that Colin had dedicated his life to. It made it all too real and awful. So he had basically managed to get away with only saying about two words to her for the entire day. ‘Hi’ and ‘congratulations.’ He had managed an excuse then and Colin had been too happy and distracted to notice. He knew he wouldn’t get away with it now.
‘Well that’s great’ Bradley managed while surreptitiously scanning the crowd for her. Now he knew that she was there, he spotted her almost straight away. She was quite tall and blonde so she was a reasonably striking figure in the crowd. Bradley hadn’t been lying all those years ago. She was hot.
‘Will I get to meet Gillian?’ Colin asked.
‘Nah we’re not dating anymore’ Bradley said.
‘What? That didn’t last long!’ Colin exclaimed.
‘No’ Bradley agreed. None of his partners lasted long. They all had one rather vital flaw. They weren’t Colin. He wished he knew how Colin had managed to commit to marriage when he couldn’t even hold onto a girlfriend or boyfriend for more than a few months. Bradley glared at Claire as if it was her fault and she glanced around as if sensing his gaze. Bradley quickly dodged behind a WH Smiths. No way did he want to make awkward, conversation with her until Colin arrived. Speaking of which...
‘Hey I’m pulling into Waterloo now, platform 10. I gotta go now so I can text Claire. See you in a sec!’ Colin said cheerfully and hung up. Bradley waited a moment before carefully peering round the corner of the shop, which was one of these small ones in the middle of the concourse. He saw Claire pull her phone out her pocket and smile as she read the text before she started to walk towards platform 10. He followed at a safe distance still wondering whether it wouldn’t be more worth his while just to leg it now.
But then he saw Colin, looking relaxed and happy at the prospect of seeing his wife and best friend and Bradley knew there was no way he could back out now. Claire reached him first of course. Bradley felt his stomach twist uncomfortably as Colin beamed at her and pulled her close before pressing a brief kiss to her lips.
‘I’ve missed you’ Bradley heard Colin say as he approached. Colin looked up at his approach and Bradley immediately felt better when Colin’s grin was turned on him instead.
‘Hey mate!’ Bradley said and then dithered slightly, not entirely sure of the best way to greet Colin when his wife was right there. He settled uncertainly for a handshake and held out his hand. Colin just looked at him oddly and then used the proffered hand to pull Bradley into a hug.
‘Hi Claire it’s nice to meet you again’ Bradley smiled at her once Colin had released him.
‘And you Bradley. I’ve heard an awful lot about you.’ Claire’s smile was warm and friendly and Bradley felt himself relax slightly.
‘It’s all lies’ Bradley said emphatically and she laughed.
‘Well that’s a shame because he’s painted you to be quite a nice guy.’ Claire said.
‘Oh why didn’t you say so? In that case, it’s all true. In fact he probably hasn’t quite done me enough justice.’ Bradley said.
‘He did mention that modesty wasn’t one of your of your many traits’ Claire teased and Bradley was totally disarmed by how friendly she was. After the few things Colin had said regarding Claire’s attitude towards his and Colin’s relationship he was sure she was going to be a lot more defensive, maybe even rude. But then again maybe she was just making the effort for Colin just like he was. ‘So what brings you to London? Colin didn’t say.’
‘Oh I’m filming here at the moment. It’s like Hercules in the modern day. I play Hercules. Anyway some of the tasks take place in London so we’ve been here a few months. I think we finish here in two weeks time actually.’
‘Oh that sounds interesting and congratulations on the leading role!’ Claire enthused.
‘Thank you very much. And I hear you’ve just opened up your own restaurant so congratulations on that too’ Bradley said.
‘Aw thanks. It’s early days yet but cooking was always my first love after acting so it’s great to get stuck in there, creating my own meals’ Claire said happily.
‘So do you think you have left the acting industry behind now?’ Bradley asked curiously as they left the station.
‘Yes. It was fun while it lasted but the constant uncertainty about where the next paycheque was coming from and the crazy working hours, often taking you away from home for months at a time just wasn’t for me.’ Bradley noticed she glanced at Colin as she said this and Colin frowned. Bradley knew they often argued about how often Colin was away from home. Bradley fought to change the subject.
‘So Colin. Have you heard from any of the other Merlin lot?’ he asked.
‘Oh yes he’s spent a lot of time talking to Katie.’ It was Claire that answered and she couldn’t quite disguise the edge in her voice. Colin shot her a look that Bradley could read easily. Please don’t make a scene. Claire was clearly as well versed in Colin’s facial expressions as Bradley was because she sighed but didn’t say anything else.
‘Well Katie’s more interested in behind the scenes work now.’ Colin said. ‘She’s directing a new film right now. Angel is taking a break from the acting scene. Rupert has taken to the stage, with very positive responses from what I’ve read. And I’ve not heard from Santiago in a long time. I think he was thinking of moving to America like you. And I suppose you heard about Richard...’ Colin didn’t finish the sentence and Bradley felt awful. He knew Colin had always looked up to Richard so it had been hard for Colin to handle his death on his own. Claire took Colin’s hand and gave it a comforting squeeze and Bradley wished he could do the same. He settled instead for clapping him on the shoulder.
‘Yeah I heard’ Bradley said sympathetically.
‘No use dwelling’ Claire said which was sound advice but perhaps a little brutal under the circumstances.
‘No you’re right’ Colin agreed. ‘OK... Let’s go do something stupid.’
*
10.02 am (UK)
‘You know when you said something stupid, this isn’t what I had in mind’ Bradley said nervously. They were at Alexandra Palace, referred to affectionately as Ally Pally by the locals. More specifically they were at the rink and Bradley was terrified of ice skating.
‘Man up Bradley’ Colin said bracingly. ‘The ice is more scared of you than you are of it.’
‘I doubt that very much seeing as it’s an inanimate object!’ Bradley cried and Colin laughed.
‘Aw is ickle Bradley afraid of the ice?’ Colin teased. ‘Don’t worry I’ll be here to hold your hand’ he promised.
‘Bastard! How come Claire get’s out of this?’
‘She’s got a dodgy knee. She’s waiting in the cafe for us with hot chocolate as a reward. Besides you can’t come to London and not visit Ally Pally!’ Colin insisted.
‘Can’t we visit Ally Pally from solid ground?’ Bradley asked, still reluctant to step out onto the ice.
‘Aw come on Bradley. Please? For me?’ Colin pouted and Bradley never had been able to resist Colin’s puppy dog face.
‘Fine but this better be good.’
Colin skated onto the ice with practiced ease and then turned to look at Bradley and held out his hands encouragingly. Bradley cast him a doubtful look and then put one uncertain foot onto the ice. It skidded out from under him immediately and Bradley grabbed onto the wall. Colin suppressed his laugh. He didn’t want to mock Bradley when he was trying so hard.
‘I’m too old for this’ Bradley complained holding on for dear life.
‘Come on now you aren’t gonna let a bunch of teenagers show you up are you?’ Colin said.
‘Never!’ Bradley shouted. He never could help rising to a challenge. He skated as far from the wall as he could without letting go and then focused his eyes on Colin who smiled in encouragement, holding out his hands again. Bradley let go and just stood there for a moment, keeping his balance. Then he made one tentative movement towards Colin. His feet slipped out from under him for the second time but this time he went over, windmilling his arms to try and keep his balance and ended up falling on his arse. Colin couldn’t help but laugh this time even as he skated over to help him out.
‘Gah!’ Bradley moaned as he sat up.
‘Are you ok?’ Colin managed to choke out through his laughter. Bradley tried to glare at him but ended up laughing too, he had always found Colin’s laugh infectious.
‘I’m fine’ Bradley said and allowed Colin to heave him to his feet.
‘Right once more with feeling.’ Colin said. ‘Ok let me help you. Stand with your feet about hip width apart with your skates both facing forward. That’s it. Now to move bend your knees slightly and sort of go pigeon toed. Excellent!’
Under Colin’s instruction Bradley started to move forward slightly, panicked, flailed and then fell again.
‘You need to relax’ Colin advised him as he pulled him to his feet again. He skated back a little way again and assumed his former position, facing Bradley and arms outstretched. ‘You can do this. Skate to me.’
Using a combination of bullying and encouragement Colin finally managed to get Bradley moving forward. He allowed Bradley to get within millimetres of his hands before skating backwards, away from him. The first time he did this, it threw Bradley off considerably and he almost fell again but managed to rebalance himself just in time.
‘Bastard! I should have known you could skate backwards’ Bradley complained and Colin laughed.
‘Come on Bradley. Are you saying you can’t catch me even though you’re going forward and I’m going backwards?’
Bradley frowned in determination and started to skate forward again with Colin always remaining just out of reach. Colin had to keep looking behind him to make sure he wasn’t going to bash into anyone as Bradley was too focussed on his own feet to act as an obstacle spotter. In fact Bradley was so focussed on his feet that he didn’t realise they had reached the other side of the rink until he had skated straight into Colin who had been stopped by the barrier at his back. Bradley flung out his arms to steady himself, effectively trapping Colin against the barrier. Colin didn’t seem to mind.
‘You did it!’ he shouted happily.
‘Yeah and what’s my reward?’ Bradley asked him, cocking his head slightly. He realised that he was crowding Colin to the extent that Colin was finding it hard to balance himself against the wall but wasn’t sure he could move and therefore rectify the problem. Colin soon solved the issue by simply wrapping his arms around Bradley’s waist and using Bradley’s braced position again the wall to keep them both upright. Bradley could feel Colin’s warm body against his and drew in a shaky breath, thinking it was probably best to extract himself from this situation but wasn’t entirely sure he could move right now without falling over.
‘What would you like as a reward?’ Colin asked, his voice taking on a playful, almost flirtatious tone. Or was that just wishful thinking on Bradley’s part? He decided to test the waters by tilting his head slightly, leaning in, making his intentions clear. Colin didn’t look like he was going to stop him but just then a small voice piped up.
‘Excuse me Mr Doctor Who sir. Can I have your autograph?’ A small boy of about eight asked Colin. It made Bradley jump out of his skin and topple sideways so he crashed to the floor for the third time that day. The boy looked down at him in some concern.
‘Oh don’t mind him’ Colin grinned, a lot more composed that Bradley was. ‘Of course you can little man. What’s your name?’ he asked as he took the proffered notepad.
‘Colin there you are!’ a new frantic voice shouted and Colin looked up in surprise to see that a woman was picking up the young boy.
‘Wait your name’s Colin too?’ Colin asked the boy and he nodded shyly. ‘Good name’ he commented and then scribbled on the notepaper.
Colin,
Great name buddy!
All the best,
Colin Morgan (Doctor Who).
He held it out and the woman took it with a smile.
‘Thank you very much. I’m sorry if he was bothering you’ the woman said handing the notepad back to what was evidently her son.
‘Not at all’ Colin said politely. ‘I was just giving Bradley here a skating lesson. He’s a bit unsteady on his feet.’ Bradley had finally managed to struggle back to his feet and offered the woman a weak smile.
‘Well thanks again!’ the woman said and skated off with her son. The minute they were gone Colin went pale.
‘That was too close’ he said. He cast a glance at Bradley who was in an equal state of shock. The sudden arrival of a fan had made them both realise how public they were, what they had almost done. Colin had a quick look around but no one else seemed interested in their little corner of the rink. ‘Your reward is,’ Colin said with a stab at normality, ‘to skate to the other side!’
*
1.30 pm (UK)
‘Are you two ok?’ Claire asked curiously.
‘Yeah we’re fine. Great in fact’ Colin muttered.
Bradley could understand why she was asking. They were all sat around a table at La Tasca, one of their favourite restaurants. But he and Colin were clearly awkward, making silted conversation at best. It had been easy to act normal at the rink because it was just the two of them messing about the way they always did. But here, with Claire, Bradley felt horribly guilty about the almost kiss and was pretty sure Colin was feeling ten times worse. Plus he didn’t know what to say. If he talked about Merlin stuff or started up some totally obscure or stupid conversation with Colin, he would be isolating Claire but talking to Claire meant engaging in small talk which Bradley was bloody terrible at. Then he remembered that Claire like Harry Potter. Or at least enough to think about her patronus so it seemed as good a topic as any.
‘You know the one thing that always annoys me about Harry Potter?’ Bradley asked and to Claire and Colin it had come totally out of the blue.
‘No’ Colin said carefully. ‘What?’
‘Harry can’t see thestrals until the start of the fifth book right? But he saw his mum die so surely he would be able to see them the whole time’ Bradley said.
‘Yeah but he was only a baby when his mum died so it wouldn’t register on any emotional scale would it?’ Claire pointed out.
‘Yeah but that’s not made clear in the book. It just says if they see someone die.’ Bradley insisted.
‘Yeah but it also doesn’t ever say that he saw his mum die. Maybe he had his eyes shut or whatever’ Colin said.
‘Well ok. But he should at least see them at the end of the fourth book right? I mean the carriages take them back to the train station so he should have seen them then’ Bradley argued stubbornly, waving his knife around.
‘Cutlery Bradley!’ Colin exclaimed automatically and Bradley grinned sheepishly.
‘JK Rowling says the death has to ‘sink in’ for them to see threstrals’ Claire said.
‘How long does it take for a death to sink in? I mean he must have told the story of it about five times. Is he retarded or something?’ Bradley said.
‘Bradley!’ Colin admonished him.
‘Oh sorry. Retarded isn’t very PC these days is it?’ Bradley said apologetically.
‘I don’t think it was ever PC’ Colin said drily.
‘You say spaz! That’s essentially the same thing’ Bradley cried.
‘Yeah but it’s endearing when I do it’ Colin grinned and Bradley rolled his eyes.
‘Anyway I always found the films way more annoying that the books’ Claire said, bringing them back to the subject. ‘They weren’t very faithful to the books.’
‘Yeah like the end of the sixth one they didn’t have that epic fight. And then Charlie and Bill never really made an appearance so Bill couldn’t get mashed by that werewolf. And no Dumbledore’s funeral either!’ Colin said.
‘Yeah and then they tried to explain everything in the seventh films and it didn’t work too well. And they removed Dobby from films four, five and six and then bought him back in the seventh just so you’d feel bad that he died.’ Bradley said, annoyed.
‘We went and watched the sixth one together didn’t we?’ Colin remembered suddenly.
‘Oh yeah. It was just after we found out Dumbledore was gay and we couldn’t resist making a load of paedo jokes about him and Harry while we were watching it’ Bradley chuckled and Claire looked scandalized at the idea. ‘We were very immature.’ He added apologetically.
‘We still are!’ Colin grinned. ‘Anyway it wasn’t just Dumbledore. Don’t you remember that bit where Snape is chasing Malfoy and you were like ‘paedoooo’ and then he slammed him against the wall? We were like oo-er.’
‘Yes! And then Malfoy said ‘I don’t need protection’ and we actually lost it for a good ten minutes and the people sat in front of us got so annoyed that they moved.’ Bradley chuckled just thinking about it.
‘I could never stand Harry’s eyebrows in the films. I just wanted to take tweezers to them’ Claire said.
‘I met Daniel Radcliffe you know?’ Colin said.
‘No way! Not Danny Radcliffe!’ Bradley yelled.
‘Yup’ Colin said.
‘What was he like?’ Claire asked, having never heard this story either.
‘Bit of a twat’ Colin shrugged.
‘No!’ Bradley gasped. ‘Really?’
‘Nah he was alright’ Colin laughed. ‘Bit dull though. And short. Very short.’
Bradley laughed and Claire frowned again.
‘You know we’ve just spent like the last twenty minutes talking about Harry Potter? That’s pretty sad’ Bradley said.
‘Yep’ Colin agreed. ‘So what about that bit in the first book when...’
Bradley grinned. Once again seeing Colin was like being on a rollercoaster and once again he was at the top of a loop right now. He was remembering why he loved hanging out with Colin so much and realising all over again that Colin hadn’t changed despite everything. He knew it was a precarious position and that an errant action or word on either of their parts could send him crashing down but for now he was content to just ride it out.
*
3.00 pm (UK)
‘So er I think me and Colin need to go and look at that new sofa I was talking about’ Claire said as they stood outside La Tasca’s. ‘You’re welcome to come Bradley.’ Her words were welcoming but her tone and expression were not. They quite clearly said ‘piss off so I can spend some time with my husband.’
Bradley couldn’t help but be disappointed. Colin had promised him the Science museum but he supposed he had to be a dutiful husband right now.
‘Actually...’ Colin said. ‘Me and Bradley thought we’d check out the Science museum. He’s never seen it you know?’Colin looked like a small boy asking his mother for permission to go out and play. Claire looked at him for a long moment looking like she was either going to forbid him from going or invite herself along.
‘Alright’ she said eventually. ‘I know how much you hate shopping. I’ll see you later’ she aimed a small smile at Bradley and then strode off down the street.
‘You didn’t have to do that’ Bradley said uncomfortably.
‘It’s ok. She knows how little I get to see you and how important this is for me. I’ll be seeing her tonight before I leave tomorrow’ Colin replied but he was pretty sure there would be a frosty reception awaiting him. As if to confirm this his phone bleeped with an incoming text message from Claire.
How many times are you going to pick him over me?
Colin didn’t answer, just put the phone back in his pocket feeling like a total prick. He felt like he was being torn in two different directions.
‘Who was that?’ Bradley asked curiously.
‘Nosy’ Colin grinned at him. ‘It was no one. Come on let’s go. Bradley and Colin on another whirlwind adventure!’
*
September 15th 2018
8.45 am (US)
‘Bradley wake up’ Laura shouted and shook him hard. Bradley mumbled slightly and tried to fight the wave of drowsiness that threatened to overcome him again.
‘What’s wrong honey?’ he yawned, struggling into a sitting position. He smiled at the sight of her. She was small and curvy with green eyes and long auburn hair tumbling down her back in curls. Bradley thought he was onto a winner here. They had been together six months now which is the longest Bradley had managed to hold down a relationship in years.
‘We need to talk’ Laura said and Bradley immediately felt an icy stab of fear. That phrase never meant good things. Why couldn’t ‘we need to talk’ ever be followed by the words ‘let’s get a puppy’ or ‘I’ve won the lottery’?
‘Oh?’ Bradley asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice.
‘I...’ Laura hesitated. ‘I don’t think things are working out’ she said in a rush.
‘What!’ Bradley exclaimed, stunned. ‘What’s changed since last night?’
‘You... talk in your sleep’ Laura said carefully. ‘At first I thought it was just a one off but you talk about Colin. A lot. He’s the one you should be with’ she said simply.
‘But...’ Bradley said. He doesn’t want me is what he had been about to say but it hurt too much to voice aloud. ‘You woke me up just to break up with me?’ he asked instead.
Laura bit her lip but nodded. ‘I love you’ she said seriously. ‘But I don’t want to be second best. We all deserve a chance at true love don’t we? At happiness?’ She looked like it was hard for her to say but she met his gaze determinedly.
‘Yes’ Bradley said and was struck by the words. He got up and started pulling on his clothes. He just wanted to get out of here now.
‘Bradley... shouldn’t we talk about this?’ Laura said uncertainly.
‘Doesn’t seem like there’s much left to say’ Bradley said stiffly but softened when Laura flinched. ‘Thanks’ he said sincerely and leant down to kiss her on the cheek. ‘Goodbye Laura.’
‘Bradley...’ Laura said softly but Bradley didn’t look back. He walked out of the door and out of her life.
*
4.02 pm (UK)
Where’s the emergency wombat supply? B
Colin read the text and only had about one second of confusion despite the fact that the conversation about throwing wombats had been years ago now. They joked about it often, saying people that had angered or hurt them deserved to have wombats thrown at them. So either someone had pissed Bradley off or they had hurt him and Colin instinctively knew it was the latter.
He was already half way through dialling Bradley’s number into his phone when he hesitated. He was due to meet Claire from work in about fifteen minutes, was already running late and was about to engage himself in a phone call that would take at least half an hour. Colin dithered, desperately torn between the loyalties he had to his wife and to his... best friend.
He ended up making the choice he always knew he would in the end and finished typing Bradley’s number. He tried to justify it by telling himself that Bradley needed him more right now.
‘Colin?’ was how Bradley answered the phone.
‘Yeah mate how are you?’ Colin asked sympathetically. ‘I’ve got the wombats and I’ve even got rabid mongooses on standby.’
Bradley chuckled weakly. ‘Laura broke up with me’ he said, his voice breaking slightly and to Colin it was the most horrible sound he had ever heard.
‘Why?’ Colin asked, horrified. ‘I thought it was going well.’
Bradley was silent for a long time before he spoke. ‘She realised that I was in love with... someone else.’
‘Who?’
‘I think you know Colin.’
‘I can’t give you what you want Bradley’ Colin said wearily.
‘Why?’ Bradley demanded. ‘Because you’re straight’ he spat the word.
‘Because I’m married’ Colin corrected him sharply. ‘You want me to divorce my wife for someone who lives on the other side of the world?’
‘Am I not worth it?’ Bradley asked quietly.
‘Can’t you see how much harder it would be!’ Colin shouted, evading the question. ‘It’s hard enough knowing that I won’t get to see you every day, that you won’t be there when I get home, spouting rubbish and making me feel better, just instinctively knowing something is wrong. Somehow when I know that nothing can happen between us, that makes it easier for me to bear. And nothing can happen because I’m married.’
‘That’s so selfish!’ Bradley was angry, an emotion that Colin rarely associated with Bradley. ‘What about me?’
‘What do you want from me Bradley?’ Colin demanded, angry too now. ‘You want me to split up with the woman I love and move myself halfway across the world, away from my family and friends to be with you. Now who’s being selfish?’
‘At least I’m not lying to myself. You don’t love Claire, you just like the idea of a wife. Plus you just want sex on tap!’ Bradley spat, an ill considered comment bought on by his anger.
‘Says the guy that’s with a different person every week. You may as well have ‘easy’ tattooed on your forehead!’ Colin shouted furiously. He instantly knew he had gone too far. There was a long silence on Bradley’s end and Colin already had an apology on his lips when Bradley spoke.
‘You know Laura broke up with me because she says that you’re the one that I should be with. She said that everyone deserves a chance at true love and happiness.’ He paused again. ‘It seems she was wrong’ he finished sadly and hung up the phone.
Colin dialled back immediately, cursing himself from his stupidity. He was already halfway through speaking when he realised it had gone straight voice mail. He rallied and started again.
‘Bradley I’m so sorry. What I said was totally twatish. I deserve the wombats being thrown at me. You’re right, I am selfish. And you’re right about the other things too. Everybody deserves a chance at true love. I... I love you Bradley. Please call me back and tell me I’m not too late. We can make this work I promise.’
*
9.30 am (US)
Bradley didn’t give himself anymore time to think about it. He smashed his phone against the wall and then stamped on it a few times for good measure. He had had a sudden moment of clarity. He knew he had to just rid Colin Morgan from his life. It hurt too much to be ‘just friends’ with him. He just needed a clean break. Bradley was sick of all this. Sick of loving a man that did nothing but put obstacles in his way, a man that made him feel so happy and in the next breath made him want to cry. He was sick of Colin with his laughing eyes, a person he could be totally himself with, that always knew what he was thinking and had stayed by his side through every ridiculous misadventure.
Bradley was suddenly flooded with every fond memory he had of Colin which was a lot. Which only served to piss him off because it just showed how much Colin was willing to give up. And for what? His excuses were unclear at best.
Bradley tore into his room and pulled out his box of photos and souvenirs. He rifled through it until he found the envelope of photos that had been taken at the leaving ‘reception’. He had been so homesick when he had got to America that he had printed off almost every one of Lucy’s photos. He pulled out the ones of Colin and looked at them briefly. Then he started tearing them up, the anger driving him as he fought to rid himself of every memory. He realised with a start that he was crying ad he brushed the tears away impatiently, taking vindictive pleasure in seeing jagged lines appear across Colin’s smiling face.
And then he had reached the last photo in the pile. He was already holding it, ready to tear when he looked at it properly. It was the one of them together, arms around each other and looking into each other’s faces. They looked happy and relaxed and totally oblivious to everything going on around them, just focussed on each other. They looked like a couple and Bradley was suddenly struck with an impression of what they could have been. A fresh wave of anger and regret flooded over Bradley again and he tensed, wanting nothing more than to tear the photo into bits. But then he sighed and put the picture carefully back in the envelope. He was mad at Colin right now but he still couldn’t help loving him. He put the envelope back in the box and his eyes came to rest on a small piece of paper.
We always have hope was written across it in Colin’s untidy scrawl. Bradley’s hand instinctively clenched around the small wooden dove he constantly carried in his pocket. His hand tightened around it and then he drew it out, giving it one last look before dropping it into the box. He hoped his lucky charm worked even when shut out of sight because right now hope was all he had.
*
4.59 pm (UK)
‘Colin you’re like forty five minutes late!’ Claire exclaimed but she didn’t sound angry, she sounded concerned which made Colin feel like the worst person on the planet right now. He handed her the flowers he had bought on the way, lilies, her favourite and she smiled in delight.
‘I’m so sorry. I had to ring... my agent.’ Colin lied and then cursed himself. It seemed he was a coward. A selfish coward. He was finding out a lot of unpleasant things about himself today. But when he called Bradley’s mobile for the second and third time it had said the number did not exist. He tried the landline but it was disconnected. Out of desperation he had sent Bradley an email, horrified that he wouldn’t be able to make this right before Bradley cut him out of his life. He had come to find Claire with the determination of telling her the truth but Bradley was right. He did like the idea of a wife. When he was young the concept of a picket fence life with a wife, 2.5 kids and a dog was drummed into him as the ideal way to live. Well they were too busy for kids and Claire was allergic to dogs and they lived in a flat but one of four wasn’t bad right? And he liked the idea that someone would be there for him for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part. A nagging voice in his head that sounded a lot like Katie reminded him that Bradley had always been there for him without the vow. But it seemed it was too late. Colin sighed and pulled Claire to him, giving her a quick kiss.
‘I’ll make it up to you’ he said.
*
8.00 pm (US)
Bradley had deleted the email from Colin without reading it and then cancelled his email address. Then he had rung Logan, from a pay phone seeing as every other phone he owned was either destroyed or disconnected. He and Logan were still good friends even though Cops and Robbers was no longer on.
Now they were sat in the pub and Bradley was venting all the anger and frustration of the past day to Logan.
‘So I call him up because I was feeling pretty shitty about the break up. And then I end up sort of telling him the truth and he was a total bastard about it. I was totally open about how I felt and he threw it back in my face. So I realised the time had come to stop moping over Colin Morgan and get on with my life. A clean break’ Bradley said firmly. ‘I only wish it hadn’t taken me six years to work this out! I’m thirty-four it’s about time I knew what I was doing right?’ Bradley ranted.
‘I don’t think anyone ever truly knows what they’re doing’ was Logan’s considered answer. ‘Are you sure you’re doing the right thing? I mean... if you really love him don’t you think he’s worth fighting for?’
‘But that’s just the problem’ Bradley said. ‘Colin doesn’t think I’m worth fighting for. He doesn’t think I’m worth it full stop. And enough is enough. If he wants me, it’ll have to be on his terms’ Bradley said firmly.
‘Well you’re not really making it easy for him are you? What if he’s trying to call you? I mean you killed your mobile, disconnected your land line and cancelled your email address. What’s a man to do?’
‘I also defriended him on facebook’ Bradley said solemnly. ‘That makes it official.’
‘Oh no this shit just got real!’ Logan said and they both chuckled, both enjoying the slight relief from the serious conversation.
‘Excuse me?’ A tall man with dark hair, green eyes and a quirky smile had stopped by their table and was now looking at Bradley with clear interest. ‘I was wondering if I could buy you a drink?’
This guy was just Bradley’s type and Logan waited for the usual wink and ‘see ya later mate’ that usually accompanied these offers which told him he may as well go home because Bradley would be going home with whoever had just picked him up. In fact he was already half way through nodding his acquiescence when Bradley spoke.
‘Nah sorry mate. I’ve just got out of a... complicated relationship. I’m not really looking for a fling right now.’
‘Alright your loss’ the guy shrugged and walked away. Logan stared at Bradley, stunned.
Bradley grinned sheepishly. ‘No more filling the void with meaningless sex’ he vowed.
‘Maybe I was wrong’ Logan said, still amazed. ‘Maybe you do know what you’re doing. I just hope you don’t live to regret this. It’s harder than you think just cutting someone out your life.’
Bradley thought of the photo and the wooden dove still safe in the box under his bed and he nodded. ‘Tell me about it.’
*
Part 5
September 15th 2016
3.16 pm (UK)
Colin flumped down gratefully onto the sofa and rubbed his hands over his face. It had been a long day. He had been up at five in the morning because they needed a certain type of lighting for the shoot they were doing. It sort of made Colin miss Doctor Who when a lot of the lighting was done using electrical lights and the night shoots he had done were few and far between. But he had left Doctor Who behind now, much to the disappointment of his fans, and was now working on an obscure Irish short. He liked to go back to his roots occasionally. He wasn’t being paid much but it was nice to be back in Ireland for a few months, seeing his family and actually being able to speak in his own accent was always a novelty when in Doctor Who he had put on his English accent.
It was a miserable day though with the mist rolling off the coast and a steady drizzle making the world seem dull and gray. He was away from home as well and he missed his friends and Claire who was back in London. But he had plans to see Katie later so that was something to look forward too.
A blast of the Ghostbusters theme tune tore him from his reverie. His phone. Only the possibility that it might be important made him get up and cross the room to his coat and dig through the pockets. His face lit up when he saw the call id.
‘Bradley!’ He cried happily into the phone. It had been a long time since they had talked on the phone, still using emails as their main form of communication.
‘Hey Col!’ Bradley beamed. ‘Wow are you in Ireland?’
‘Yeah why?’
‘You sound really Irish’ Bradley laughed. ‘Oh hang on...’ There was a brief crackle and then Colin heard Bradley’s voice again further away as if he was holding the phone at arm’s length. ‘What?... No it’s just Colin. Go back to bed... ok yeah see you in a bit.’
Colin laughed. ‘Was that Sam?’ Sam was Bradley’s latest ‘boyfriend’.
‘Yeah. He calls you my other boyfriend’ Bradley laughed. ‘I think I may talk about you too much.’
Colin chuckled too. ‘You don’t wanna know what Claire calls you.’ Claire, having first thought that their friendship was very sweet went to being highly suspicious of it especially as a picture had appeared in the papers of he and Bradley at the zoo holding hands with the headline ‘Doctor Who in gay sex scandal?’ That took a while to blow over and a lot of grovelling on Colin’s part to get Claire to forgive him.
‘Anyway I called for a reason!’ Bradley remembered suddenly. ‘I was er... tinkering with the satellite dish and I managed to get it to broadcast channel four. As in English channel four. And it’s almost 3.25 so what does that mean?’
‘Countdown!’ they chorused and Colin flipped on the TV. ‘Still engaging in illegal activities I see’ Colin said fondly.
‘Wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t’ Bradley pointed out.
‘It must be like 6.30 am there’ Colin realised incredulously as the title rolled.
‘I got up specially. Countdown is our thing!’ Bradley exclaimed and Colin couldn’t help but smile.
‘I can’t believe countdown is still going’ he said.
‘I know! And the same people too. Jeff Stelling and Rachel Riley have been doing this for years now!’
‘Not as long as Carol Vorderman and what’s his name did it’ Colin said.
‘Richard Whiteley?’ Bradley guessed.
‘Yeah him. But they’ve still got Susie on Dictionary Corner as well. She’s being doing it as long as I can remember .’
‘Yeah she’s been there a long time. Alright place your bets. Who do you thinks gonna win?’ Bradley asked as the contestants were introduced.
‘Hmm I’ll take Eoin. Seven time winner and he’s Irish!’ Colin said.
‘He looks about twelve’ Bradley snorted. ‘You can have him. I’ll take Pete.’
‘He’s fourteen actually’ Colin said, having actually been listening. ‘So there’ he added childishly and Bradley tutted at him.
‘I suppose I should just be grateful that Deal or no Deal has finally died a death. So you can’t force me to watch it afterwards’ Bradley said.
‘I wouldn’t anyway. I told you I’ve never been able to watch it since we watched it together. It was just too scarring’ Colin shuddered. ‘But I still expect something if I win.’
Bradley chuckled. ‘I’ll send you some rolo’s in the post’ he promised.
‘Dude I don’t think they make rolo’s anymore’ Colin said sadly.
‘No way! Fine I’ll send you some lemon sherbet. That’s your favourite isn’t it?’
‘It sure is’ Colin agreed though he couldn’t ever remember telling Bradley that. ‘Oh oh look. It’s starting!’ he shouted. AOESNTNAM he scribbled on the back of an envelope. He had a pen in his pocket but he hadn’t bothered to go and find some real paper.
‘Does Santa count as a real word?’ Bradley asked absently.
‘Probably. I expect it’s in the dictionary’ Colin said. ‘But it’s only a five.’
‘True...’ Bradley fell silent until the familiar tune announced the end of time. ‘Six’ he said.
‘Me too. You know I don’t feel like I’ve got better at this with age despite your insistence that we were only crap at it because we were young.'
Bradley laughed. ‘I fear you're right. We’re just shit. What’s your word?’
‘Sonnet’ Colin said.
‘Mine was tonnes... What they both got seven!’ Bradley exclaimed. ‘Beaten by a fourteen year old. This game gives me so much rage.’
‘I’ve noticed.’ Colin said drily. ‘There was that time you threw the dictionary...’
‘Hey I didn’t throw it! It slipped out my hand. Anyway so not the point right now. What does mannose even mean!? I swear that’s not a real word.’ Bradley yelled.
‘Some chemistry term’ Colin chirped. ‘I notice that Pete’s word was disallowed.’ He said innocently. ‘That’s too bad.’
‘Is this kid some kind of child prodigy or something?’ Bradley asked grumpily, already sensing he was going to lose.
‘Looks like it’ Colin said cheerily, already scribbling down the next set of letters. RHIELDSIR. Then he heard the clack of laptop keys on the other end of the phone.
‘Bradley are you using the internet to help you?’
‘No...’ Bradley said shiftily.
‘Bradley!’
‘I’m kidding.’ Bradley laughed. ‘I’m just using notepad because I can’t find a working pen in this place. If I was cheating don’t you think I would have said mannoose or whatever it was?’
‘Mannose’ Colin corrected. ‘And no because you would know that I would ask you what it meant and you didn’t know.’
‘You know Colin it hurts that you don’t trust me’ Bradley said in a wounded voice and Colin laughed.
‘Alright alright I believe you’ he conceded and they spent the last few seconds of time frantically scribbling.
‘I got shield’ Bradley said once the time is up.
‘Me too’ Colin said. ‘Must be Merlin subconsciously coming back to us.’
‘Oh they both got six too!’ Bradley said happily.
‘Alas your guy got discounted again!’ Colin said mockingly.
‘Oh my God is this guy an idiot or what? Shired? What’s that?’ Bradley complained. ‘Come on Pete you can bring it back!’
‘Oh dictionary corner got dishier’ Colin commented. ‘A seven.’
‘I’ve always wondered how dictionary corner always manages to find good words. I mean how do they search?’ Bradley said.
‘Yeah I’ve always wondered that too.’
The game went on like that with the pair of them competing and trading insults as always while secretly relishing doing something so comfortable and familiar together, even if it was over the phone. Colin could almost imagine that Bradley was sprawled out on the sofa next to him, taking up way more space than was necessary and getting enraged at whichever contestant he was backing. He always seemed to back the loser.
‘And once again my guy is the winner!’ Colin said triumphantly, punching the air even though Bradley couldn’t see.
‘This is why I don’t gamble’ Bradley muttered. ‘But anyway I beat you.’
‘Yeah well luckily for me the prize is based on which contestant wins and not on which one of us wins. So you owe me lemon sherbet.’ Colin joked.
‘Fine. Ok let’s see if I put it into the post tomorrow with a second class stamp, bearing in mind the efficiency of the post office...’ Bradley muttered to himself, ‘yeah you should be getting it within the next shall we say two to three years?’
Colin laughed. ‘Yeah the post is pretty bad. Maybe you can email me cyber sherbet.’
‘Probably can. You can get cyber anything these days’ Bradley said. ‘Oh hang on...’ Colin could hear Sam’s voice in the background again. And then Bradley was back. ‘Look I gotta go. I better try and get more shuteye before I go to this audition this afternoon.’
‘Alright’ Colin said sadly. ‘Good luck!’
‘Thanks I’ll need it. See ya!’
‘Bye’
*
4. 15 pm (UK)
Colin had just gone into the kitchen to get a cup of tea when his phone rang again making him jump. His heart leapt excitedly as he thought that it was Bradley calling him back. He grabbed his phone and was disappointed to see Claire’s name flash up on the screen. And then he felt terrible for being disappointed to hear from his wife.
‘Hey sweets!’ he said, cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear so that he could put a tea bag in a mug and pour in the hot water.
‘Don’t hey sweets me!’ Claire said. ‘I’ve been trying to get hold of you for an hour!’
‘Sorry’ Colin said frowning at her irrational anger. ‘I was just on the phone to... someone else.’ Something told him that bringing up Bradley now probably wasn’t the best idea.
‘Who?’ Claire demanded.
‘...Katie’ Colin blurted after a short pause. ‘I’m seeing her tonight.’
‘What?’
‘You know Katie yeah? Well she lives in Ireland so we thought we should definitely meet up while I was here.’
‘You were thinking of going out with another woman without telling me?’ Claire snapped.
‘I’m telling you now?’ Colin tried, sensing he was on shaky ground.
‘You were on the phone with her for an hour and now you’re going to see her.’
‘Yes. She is my friend Claire’ Colin said reasonably.
‘Well you go out and have fun with her then!’ Claire spat.
‘Claire her husband will be...’ Colin started but Claire had already hung up. Colin stared at the phone incredulously before pressing the call back button. ‘What the fuck just happened?’ he muttered to himself as it rang.
‘Don’t you trust me? Is that it?’ he demanded the second she picked up the phone.
‘What?’ Claire said shiftily. The question had evidently taken the wind out of her sails.
‘I mean despite the fact that I took you to her wedding and her husband’s going to be there and the fact that I thought you knew I love you and would never do anything to deliberately hurt you, you still think I’m going to do something?’ Colin ranted.
‘Colin... I’m sorry’ Claire said and Colin felt the anger leave him at her unexpected response. ‘I just really miss you. I’m jealous of the idea of anyone seeing you. And I had a bad day and then I couldn’t get hold of you so you could make it better like you always do and I got angry. It was stupid. I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me.’
‘Oh it’s ok. Tell me about your day.’
Colin sighed in relief as it appeared the argument was over. They had been arguing too much recently. He resolved to buy flowers for Claire when he got home. He had used to buy her flowers all the time but he hadn’t in a while. As Claire poured out the outrages of the day and he listened and sympathised and let out angry exclamations in all the right places he thought they might be ok. For now.
*
12.32 pm (US)
‘Name?’ the casting director asked shortly.
‘Bradley James.’
‘Age?’
‘Thirty two’ Bradley said uncomfortably.
‘Part?’
‘Hercules.’
‘Ok if you’d like to read from page fifty four please...’
Bradley launched into the monologue and tried to rid himself of his nerves. This was his first ever film audition. A modern take on Hercules, a story he had loved as a child and would relish the chance to work on. But better than that was the fact that a lot of shooting happened in London. Which just happened to be where Colin was. The thought strengthened him and dispelled a lot of his nerves for now. Of course this being Hollywood, there was a romantic subplot inserted into the story and the monologue he had been asked to do was the one where he was telling Attilia, the girl he was in love with, how he felt. Bradley decided to use the techniques they had forced down his throat at drama school and pictured saying it to someone he loved. To Colin. He pictured him standing there, leaning casually against a door frame with that mischievous grin on his face, his hair long enough to look scruffy but it looked perfect to Bradley. He pictured Colin so vividly that he fancied he could smell his head and shoulders shampoo and that distinctive scent that he had of his own. It was a fresh smell like rain on freshly cut grass.
‘What is the point of immortality if you have no one to share it with? Forever is a long time without someone you love by your side. I know you think I am more brawn than brain but I know my own feelings. When you smile it is enough to bring a smile to my own face. When I see you cry I feel I would steal the stars from the sky if it would make you happy. Whenever I think about not seeing you even if it’s just for one day I feel this emptiness inside me that I know can only be filled by you. But at the same time I know the time we spend apart makes the time we spend together all the more sweet. I would renounce immortality in a moment if I knew you would be by my side until the day I died. I guess I’m trying to tell you I love you and that I will for as long as I live, no matter how long that is.’ Bradley played it fierce, longing and desperate. He knew he was taking a risk but he also knew you sometimes had to take a risk to stand out from the crowd.
The casting director and the two producers all looked at each other briefly before giving him some polite applause. ‘You’ll be hearing in two to three weeks’ the guy in the middle said and Bradley nodded before turning and leaving. They gave nothing away and as a result he had no idea how it had gone.
*
7.45 pm(UK)
‘Colin!’ Katie cried, waving to attract his attention and he smiled, wending his way through the tables towards her.
‘Katie!’ he cried in delight as he reached her and leant to kiss her on the cheek. ‘You look beautiful tonight as always.’
‘Hey careful that’s my wife you’re talking about’ her husband joked.
‘Haha hello Paul. It’s nice to see you again.’ Colin smiled warmly and shook his hand.
‘And you mate and you. I checked this restaurant out before hand and there seems to be a good selection for you creepy vegetarian types’ Paul said jovially.
‘It’s so unfair!’ Colin complained as they all seated themselves. ‘Prejudice towards vegetarians seems to be the only acceptable form of prejudice these days.’
‘Hey you’re talking to a guy with red hair. No sympathy from me!’ Paul said and Colin smiled sheepishly. He had met Paul quite a few times now and every time he saw him he bombarded him with ginger jokes. ‘Luckily Katie warned me about your ginger racism’ Paul added mock seriously and Colin and Katie laughed.
‘So Colin how are you?’ Katie asked. ‘Oh... I’ll have a Gin and Tonic please’ she added as the waitress came round to take a drink order.
‘You up for sharing a bottle of red Colin?’ Paul asked and Colin nodded. ‘Yeah we’ll have a bottle of the...’ Paul consulted the wine list, ‘merlot please.’
‘Ok I’ll be back with those soon’ the waitress smiled.
‘Where were we? Oh yeah how are you Colin?’ Katie said.
‘Yeah ok I guess. I had kinda a rough day. Early shoot and then I had an argument with Claire over the phone. But I also got a call from Bradley!’ Colin said and Katie noticed how he brightened when he said that.
‘Ah the infamous Bradley James’ Paul said. ‘I would very much like to meet him.’
‘Yeah the last time I saw him was at your wedding Col.’ Katie said. ‘It’s a shame you couldn’t make that Paul, as far as I know that’s like the one time he’s been in England in the last five years.’
‘The second but yeah. I was surprised he showed up too.’ Colin agreed.
‘Forgive me Colin but I was surprised that you were having a wedding. I always thought that you and Bradley were... you know? Together.’ Paul said. ‘No offence’ he added quickly.
‘Just because you say no offence it doesn’t make the statement non offensive’ Colin said but he was grinning. ‘It’s like people that say ‘I’m not racist but...’ and then proceed to say something totally racist but they think it’s ok because they’ve qualified it somehow. Anyway not the point. Yeah you can be forgiven for thinking me and Bradley were together. It seems a lot of people thought that.’ Colin was always surprised by that, he hadn’t been aware that he and Bradley gave off that vibe. And no one even knew they had slept together, not even Katie or Angel.
The meal went well. Colin loved Katie of course and had always gotten on well with Paul. They were all relaxed in each other’s company and had a good chat about nothing in particular. Colin found out that Katie had turned to directing as her next project and that Angel, who he hadn’t heard from in a while, was shooting in Italy at the moment. And then Paul waved his fork to emphasise a point and it took all Colin’s self control not to grab his hand and shout ‘Cutlery Bradley!’ Because this wasn’t Bradley and he figured he must have made a bad decision in his life at some point to be sat here with a happily married couple and not be missing his own wife but a man he had had a brief fling with four years previously.
*
September 15th 2017
9.32 am (UK)
‘Dude where are you?’ Bradley complained into the phone.
‘God I’m on my way Mr Impatient. I think that the train is due to pull in at 9.35 so I’m five minutes away not even that.’
‘Well it’s just bloody typical that the three months I’m in London you sod off the Edinburgh isn’t it? I think it’s rather ill-considered of you.’ Bradley sniffed.
‘Yes it was very selfish of me not to run my shooting schedule by you first’ Colin agreed with a grin. ‘Anyway just be thankful that I’m spending my precious day off with you. Which reminds me. Is Claire there yet?’
‘Claire?’ Bradley asked in sudden alarm.
‘Yeah she’s coming too of course. It will be a chance for you to get to meet her properly. I mean I know you met at the wedding but... yeah.’
Bradley knew what Colin meant. He had come to the wedding for the ceremony and then about an hour at the reception, just long enough to do his best man speech before he had left with some vague excuse about work. In truth he was just too freaked out about meeting the woman that Colin had dedicated his life to. It made it all too real and awful. So he had basically managed to get away with only saying about two words to her for the entire day. ‘Hi’ and ‘congratulations.’ He had managed an excuse then and Colin had been too happy and distracted to notice. He knew he wouldn’t get away with it now.
‘Well that’s great’ Bradley managed while surreptitiously scanning the crowd for her. Now he knew that she was there, he spotted her almost straight away. She was quite tall and blonde so she was a reasonably striking figure in the crowd. Bradley hadn’t been lying all those years ago. She was hot.
‘Will I get to meet Gillian?’ Colin asked.
‘Nah we’re not dating anymore’ Bradley said.
‘What? That didn’t last long!’ Colin exclaimed.
‘No’ Bradley agreed. None of his partners lasted long. They all had one rather vital flaw. They weren’t Colin. He wished he knew how Colin had managed to commit to marriage when he couldn’t even hold onto a girlfriend or boyfriend for more than a few months. Bradley glared at Claire as if it was her fault and she glanced around as if sensing his gaze. Bradley quickly dodged behind a WH Smiths. No way did he want to make awkward, conversation with her until Colin arrived. Speaking of which...
‘Hey I’m pulling into Waterloo now, platform 10. I gotta go now so I can text Claire. See you in a sec!’ Colin said cheerfully and hung up. Bradley waited a moment before carefully peering round the corner of the shop, which was one of these small ones in the middle of the concourse. He saw Claire pull her phone out her pocket and smile as she read the text before she started to walk towards platform 10. He followed at a safe distance still wondering whether it wouldn’t be more worth his while just to leg it now.
But then he saw Colin, looking relaxed and happy at the prospect of seeing his wife and best friend and Bradley knew there was no way he could back out now. Claire reached him first of course. Bradley felt his stomach twist uncomfortably as Colin beamed at her and pulled her close before pressing a brief kiss to her lips.
‘I’ve missed you’ Bradley heard Colin say as he approached. Colin looked up at his approach and Bradley immediately felt better when Colin’s grin was turned on him instead.
‘Hey mate!’ Bradley said and then dithered slightly, not entirely sure of the best way to greet Colin when his wife was right there. He settled uncertainly for a handshake and held out his hand. Colin just looked at him oddly and then used the proffered hand to pull Bradley into a hug.
‘Hi Claire it’s nice to meet you again’ Bradley smiled at her once Colin had released him.
‘And you Bradley. I’ve heard an awful lot about you.’ Claire’s smile was warm and friendly and Bradley felt himself relax slightly.
‘It’s all lies’ Bradley said emphatically and she laughed.
‘Well that’s a shame because he’s painted you to be quite a nice guy.’ Claire said.
‘Oh why didn’t you say so? In that case, it’s all true. In fact he probably hasn’t quite done me enough justice.’ Bradley said.
‘He did mention that modesty wasn’t one of your of your many traits’ Claire teased and Bradley was totally disarmed by how friendly she was. After the few things Colin had said regarding Claire’s attitude towards his and Colin’s relationship he was sure she was going to be a lot more defensive, maybe even rude. But then again maybe she was just making the effort for Colin just like he was. ‘So what brings you to London? Colin didn’t say.’
‘Oh I’m filming here at the moment. It’s like Hercules in the modern day. I play Hercules. Anyway some of the tasks take place in London so we’ve been here a few months. I think we finish here in two weeks time actually.’
‘Oh that sounds interesting and congratulations on the leading role!’ Claire enthused.
‘Thank you very much. And I hear you’ve just opened up your own restaurant so congratulations on that too’ Bradley said.
‘Aw thanks. It’s early days yet but cooking was always my first love after acting so it’s great to get stuck in there, creating my own meals’ Claire said happily.
‘So do you think you have left the acting industry behind now?’ Bradley asked curiously as they left the station.
‘Yes. It was fun while it lasted but the constant uncertainty about where the next paycheque was coming from and the crazy working hours, often taking you away from home for months at a time just wasn’t for me.’ Bradley noticed she glanced at Colin as she said this and Colin frowned. Bradley knew they often argued about how often Colin was away from home. Bradley fought to change the subject.
‘So Colin. Have you heard from any of the other Merlin lot?’ he asked.
‘Oh yes he’s spent a lot of time talking to Katie.’ It was Claire that answered and she couldn’t quite disguise the edge in her voice. Colin shot her a look that Bradley could read easily. Please don’t make a scene. Claire was clearly as well versed in Colin’s facial expressions as Bradley was because she sighed but didn’t say anything else.
‘Well Katie’s more interested in behind the scenes work now.’ Colin said. ‘She’s directing a new film right now. Angel is taking a break from the acting scene. Rupert has taken to the stage, with very positive responses from what I’ve read. And I’ve not heard from Santiago in a long time. I think he was thinking of moving to America like you. And I suppose you heard about Richard...’ Colin didn’t finish the sentence and Bradley felt awful. He knew Colin had always looked up to Richard so it had been hard for Colin to handle his death on his own. Claire took Colin’s hand and gave it a comforting squeeze and Bradley wished he could do the same. He settled instead for clapping him on the shoulder.
‘Yeah I heard’ Bradley said sympathetically.
‘No use dwelling’ Claire said which was sound advice but perhaps a little brutal under the circumstances.
‘No you’re right’ Colin agreed. ‘OK... Let’s go do something stupid.’
*
10.02 am (UK)
‘You know when you said something stupid, this isn’t what I had in mind’ Bradley said nervously. They were at Alexandra Palace, referred to affectionately as Ally Pally by the locals. More specifically they were at the rink and Bradley was terrified of ice skating.
‘Man up Bradley’ Colin said bracingly. ‘The ice is more scared of you than you are of it.’
‘I doubt that very much seeing as it’s an inanimate object!’ Bradley cried and Colin laughed.
‘Aw is ickle Bradley afraid of the ice?’ Colin teased. ‘Don’t worry I’ll be here to hold your hand’ he promised.
‘Bastard! How come Claire get’s out of this?’
‘She’s got a dodgy knee. She’s waiting in the cafe for us with hot chocolate as a reward. Besides you can’t come to London and not visit Ally Pally!’ Colin insisted.
‘Can’t we visit Ally Pally from solid ground?’ Bradley asked, still reluctant to step out onto the ice.
‘Aw come on Bradley. Please? For me?’ Colin pouted and Bradley never had been able to resist Colin’s puppy dog face.
‘Fine but this better be good.’
Colin skated onto the ice with practiced ease and then turned to look at Bradley and held out his hands encouragingly. Bradley cast him a doubtful look and then put one uncertain foot onto the ice. It skidded out from under him immediately and Bradley grabbed onto the wall. Colin suppressed his laugh. He didn’t want to mock Bradley when he was trying so hard.
‘I’m too old for this’ Bradley complained holding on for dear life.
‘Come on now you aren’t gonna let a bunch of teenagers show you up are you?’ Colin said.
‘Never!’ Bradley shouted. He never could help rising to a challenge. He skated as far from the wall as he could without letting go and then focused his eyes on Colin who smiled in encouragement, holding out his hands again. Bradley let go and just stood there for a moment, keeping his balance. Then he made one tentative movement towards Colin. His feet slipped out from under him for the second time but this time he went over, windmilling his arms to try and keep his balance and ended up falling on his arse. Colin couldn’t help but laugh this time even as he skated over to help him out.
‘Gah!’ Bradley moaned as he sat up.
‘Are you ok?’ Colin managed to choke out through his laughter. Bradley tried to glare at him but ended up laughing too, he had always found Colin’s laugh infectious.
‘I’m fine’ Bradley said and allowed Colin to heave him to his feet.
‘Right once more with feeling.’ Colin said. ‘Ok let me help you. Stand with your feet about hip width apart with your skates both facing forward. That’s it. Now to move bend your knees slightly and sort of go pigeon toed. Excellent!’
Under Colin’s instruction Bradley started to move forward slightly, panicked, flailed and then fell again.
‘You need to relax’ Colin advised him as he pulled him to his feet again. He skated back a little way again and assumed his former position, facing Bradley and arms outstretched. ‘You can do this. Skate to me.’
Using a combination of bullying and encouragement Colin finally managed to get Bradley moving forward. He allowed Bradley to get within millimetres of his hands before skating backwards, away from him. The first time he did this, it threw Bradley off considerably and he almost fell again but managed to rebalance himself just in time.
‘Bastard! I should have known you could skate backwards’ Bradley complained and Colin laughed.
‘Come on Bradley. Are you saying you can’t catch me even though you’re going forward and I’m going backwards?’
Bradley frowned in determination and started to skate forward again with Colin always remaining just out of reach. Colin had to keep looking behind him to make sure he wasn’t going to bash into anyone as Bradley was too focussed on his own feet to act as an obstacle spotter. In fact Bradley was so focussed on his feet that he didn’t realise they had reached the other side of the rink until he had skated straight into Colin who had been stopped by the barrier at his back. Bradley flung out his arms to steady himself, effectively trapping Colin against the barrier. Colin didn’t seem to mind.
‘You did it!’ he shouted happily.
‘Yeah and what’s my reward?’ Bradley asked him, cocking his head slightly. He realised that he was crowding Colin to the extent that Colin was finding it hard to balance himself against the wall but wasn’t sure he could move and therefore rectify the problem. Colin soon solved the issue by simply wrapping his arms around Bradley’s waist and using Bradley’s braced position again the wall to keep them both upright. Bradley could feel Colin’s warm body against his and drew in a shaky breath, thinking it was probably best to extract himself from this situation but wasn’t entirely sure he could move right now without falling over.
‘What would you like as a reward?’ Colin asked, his voice taking on a playful, almost flirtatious tone. Or was that just wishful thinking on Bradley’s part? He decided to test the waters by tilting his head slightly, leaning in, making his intentions clear. Colin didn’t look like he was going to stop him but just then a small voice piped up.
‘Excuse me Mr Doctor Who sir. Can I have your autograph?’ A small boy of about eight asked Colin. It made Bradley jump out of his skin and topple sideways so he crashed to the floor for the third time that day. The boy looked down at him in some concern.
‘Oh don’t mind him’ Colin grinned, a lot more composed that Bradley was. ‘Of course you can little man. What’s your name?’ he asked as he took the proffered notepad.
‘Colin there you are!’ a new frantic voice shouted and Colin looked up in surprise to see that a woman was picking up the young boy.
‘Wait your name’s Colin too?’ Colin asked the boy and he nodded shyly. ‘Good name’ he commented and then scribbled on the notepaper.
Colin,
Great name buddy!
All the best,
Colin Morgan (Doctor Who).
He held it out and the woman took it with a smile.
‘Thank you very much. I’m sorry if he was bothering you’ the woman said handing the notepad back to what was evidently her son.
‘Not at all’ Colin said politely. ‘I was just giving Bradley here a skating lesson. He’s a bit unsteady on his feet.’ Bradley had finally managed to struggle back to his feet and offered the woman a weak smile.
‘Well thanks again!’ the woman said and skated off with her son. The minute they were gone Colin went pale.
‘That was too close’ he said. He cast a glance at Bradley who was in an equal state of shock. The sudden arrival of a fan had made them both realise how public they were, what they had almost done. Colin had a quick look around but no one else seemed interested in their little corner of the rink. ‘Your reward is,’ Colin said with a stab at normality, ‘to skate to the other side!’
*
1.30 pm (UK)
‘Are you two ok?’ Claire asked curiously.
‘Yeah we’re fine. Great in fact’ Colin muttered.
Bradley could understand why she was asking. They were all sat around a table at La Tasca, one of their favourite restaurants. But he and Colin were clearly awkward, making silted conversation at best. It had been easy to act normal at the rink because it was just the two of them messing about the way they always did. But here, with Claire, Bradley felt horribly guilty about the almost kiss and was pretty sure Colin was feeling ten times worse. Plus he didn’t know what to say. If he talked about Merlin stuff or started up some totally obscure or stupid conversation with Colin, he would be isolating Claire but talking to Claire meant engaging in small talk which Bradley was bloody terrible at. Then he remembered that Claire like Harry Potter. Or at least enough to think about her patronus so it seemed as good a topic as any.
‘You know the one thing that always annoys me about Harry Potter?’ Bradley asked and to Claire and Colin it had come totally out of the blue.
‘No’ Colin said carefully. ‘What?’
‘Harry can’t see thestrals until the start of the fifth book right? But he saw his mum die so surely he would be able to see them the whole time’ Bradley said.
‘Yeah but he was only a baby when his mum died so it wouldn’t register on any emotional scale would it?’ Claire pointed out.
‘Yeah but that’s not made clear in the book. It just says if they see someone die.’ Bradley insisted.
‘Yeah but it also doesn’t ever say that he saw his mum die. Maybe he had his eyes shut or whatever’ Colin said.
‘Well ok. But he should at least see them at the end of the fourth book right? I mean the carriages take them back to the train station so he should have seen them then’ Bradley argued stubbornly, waving his knife around.
‘Cutlery Bradley!’ Colin exclaimed automatically and Bradley grinned sheepishly.
‘JK Rowling says the death has to ‘sink in’ for them to see threstrals’ Claire said.
‘How long does it take for a death to sink in? I mean he must have told the story of it about five times. Is he retarded or something?’ Bradley said.
‘Bradley!’ Colin admonished him.
‘Oh sorry. Retarded isn’t very PC these days is it?’ Bradley said apologetically.
‘I don’t think it was ever PC’ Colin said drily.
‘You say spaz! That’s essentially the same thing’ Bradley cried.
‘Yeah but it’s endearing when I do it’ Colin grinned and Bradley rolled his eyes.
‘Anyway I always found the films way more annoying that the books’ Claire said, bringing them back to the subject. ‘They weren’t very faithful to the books.’
‘Yeah like the end of the sixth one they didn’t have that epic fight. And then Charlie and Bill never really made an appearance so Bill couldn’t get mashed by that werewolf. And no Dumbledore’s funeral either!’ Colin said.
‘Yeah and then they tried to explain everything in the seventh films and it didn’t work too well. And they removed Dobby from films four, five and six and then bought him back in the seventh just so you’d feel bad that he died.’ Bradley said, annoyed.
‘We went and watched the sixth one together didn’t we?’ Colin remembered suddenly.
‘Oh yeah. It was just after we found out Dumbledore was gay and we couldn’t resist making a load of paedo jokes about him and Harry while we were watching it’ Bradley chuckled and Claire looked scandalized at the idea. ‘We were very immature.’ He added apologetically.
‘We still are!’ Colin grinned. ‘Anyway it wasn’t just Dumbledore. Don’t you remember that bit where Snape is chasing Malfoy and you were like ‘paedoooo’ and then he slammed him against the wall? We were like oo-er.’
‘Yes! And then Malfoy said ‘I don’t need protection’ and we actually lost it for a good ten minutes and the people sat in front of us got so annoyed that they moved.’ Bradley chuckled just thinking about it.
‘I could never stand Harry’s eyebrows in the films. I just wanted to take tweezers to them’ Claire said.
‘I met Daniel Radcliffe you know?’ Colin said.
‘No way! Not Danny Radcliffe!’ Bradley yelled.
‘Yup’ Colin said.
‘What was he like?’ Claire asked, having never heard this story either.
‘Bit of a twat’ Colin shrugged.
‘No!’ Bradley gasped. ‘Really?’
‘Nah he was alright’ Colin laughed. ‘Bit dull though. And short. Very short.’
Bradley laughed and Claire frowned again.
‘You know we’ve just spent like the last twenty minutes talking about Harry Potter? That’s pretty sad’ Bradley said.
‘Yep’ Colin agreed. ‘So what about that bit in the first book when...’
Bradley grinned. Once again seeing Colin was like being on a rollercoaster and once again he was at the top of a loop right now. He was remembering why he loved hanging out with Colin so much and realising all over again that Colin hadn’t changed despite everything. He knew it was a precarious position and that an errant action or word on either of their parts could send him crashing down but for now he was content to just ride it out.
*
3.00 pm (UK)
‘So er I think me and Colin need to go and look at that new sofa I was talking about’ Claire said as they stood outside La Tasca’s. ‘You’re welcome to come Bradley.’ Her words were welcoming but her tone and expression were not. They quite clearly said ‘piss off so I can spend some time with my husband.’
Bradley couldn’t help but be disappointed. Colin had promised him the Science museum but he supposed he had to be a dutiful husband right now.
‘Actually...’ Colin said. ‘Me and Bradley thought we’d check out the Science museum. He’s never seen it you know?’Colin looked like a small boy asking his mother for permission to go out and play. Claire looked at him for a long moment looking like she was either going to forbid him from going or invite herself along.
‘Alright’ she said eventually. ‘I know how much you hate shopping. I’ll see you later’ she aimed a small smile at Bradley and then strode off down the street.
‘You didn’t have to do that’ Bradley said uncomfortably.
‘It’s ok. She knows how little I get to see you and how important this is for me. I’ll be seeing her tonight before I leave tomorrow’ Colin replied but he was pretty sure there would be a frosty reception awaiting him. As if to confirm this his phone bleeped with an incoming text message from Claire.
How many times are you going to pick him over me?
Colin didn’t answer, just put the phone back in his pocket feeling like a total prick. He felt like he was being torn in two different directions.
‘Who was that?’ Bradley asked curiously.
‘Nosy’ Colin grinned at him. ‘It was no one. Come on let’s go. Bradley and Colin on another whirlwind adventure!’
*
September 15th 2018
8.45 am (US)
‘Bradley wake up’ Laura shouted and shook him hard. Bradley mumbled slightly and tried to fight the wave of drowsiness that threatened to overcome him again.
‘What’s wrong honey?’ he yawned, struggling into a sitting position. He smiled at the sight of her. She was small and curvy with green eyes and long auburn hair tumbling down her back in curls. Bradley thought he was onto a winner here. They had been together six months now which is the longest Bradley had managed to hold down a relationship in years.
‘We need to talk’ Laura said and Bradley immediately felt an icy stab of fear. That phrase never meant good things. Why couldn’t ‘we need to talk’ ever be followed by the words ‘let’s get a puppy’ or ‘I’ve won the lottery’?
‘Oh?’ Bradley asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice.
‘I...’ Laura hesitated. ‘I don’t think things are working out’ she said in a rush.
‘What!’ Bradley exclaimed, stunned. ‘What’s changed since last night?’
‘You... talk in your sleep’ Laura said carefully. ‘At first I thought it was just a one off but you talk about Colin. A lot. He’s the one you should be with’ she said simply.
‘But...’ Bradley said. He doesn’t want me is what he had been about to say but it hurt too much to voice aloud. ‘You woke me up just to break up with me?’ he asked instead.
Laura bit her lip but nodded. ‘I love you’ she said seriously. ‘But I don’t want to be second best. We all deserve a chance at true love don’t we? At happiness?’ She looked like it was hard for her to say but she met his gaze determinedly.
‘Yes’ Bradley said and was struck by the words. He got up and started pulling on his clothes. He just wanted to get out of here now.
‘Bradley... shouldn’t we talk about this?’ Laura said uncertainly.
‘Doesn’t seem like there’s much left to say’ Bradley said stiffly but softened when Laura flinched. ‘Thanks’ he said sincerely and leant down to kiss her on the cheek. ‘Goodbye Laura.’
‘Bradley...’ Laura said softly but Bradley didn’t look back. He walked out of the door and out of her life.
*
4.02 pm (UK)
Where’s the emergency wombat supply? B
Colin read the text and only had about one second of confusion despite the fact that the conversation about throwing wombats had been years ago now. They joked about it often, saying people that had angered or hurt them deserved to have wombats thrown at them. So either someone had pissed Bradley off or they had hurt him and Colin instinctively knew it was the latter.
He was already half way through dialling Bradley’s number into his phone when he hesitated. He was due to meet Claire from work in about fifteen minutes, was already running late and was about to engage himself in a phone call that would take at least half an hour. Colin dithered, desperately torn between the loyalties he had to his wife and to his... best friend.
He ended up making the choice he always knew he would in the end and finished typing Bradley’s number. He tried to justify it by telling himself that Bradley needed him more right now.
‘Colin?’ was how Bradley answered the phone.
‘Yeah mate how are you?’ Colin asked sympathetically. ‘I’ve got the wombats and I’ve even got rabid mongooses on standby.’
Bradley chuckled weakly. ‘Laura broke up with me’ he said, his voice breaking slightly and to Colin it was the most horrible sound he had ever heard.
‘Why?’ Colin asked, horrified. ‘I thought it was going well.’
Bradley was silent for a long time before he spoke. ‘She realised that I was in love with... someone else.’
‘Who?’
‘I think you know Colin.’
‘I can’t give you what you want Bradley’ Colin said wearily.
‘Why?’ Bradley demanded. ‘Because you’re straight’ he spat the word.
‘Because I’m married’ Colin corrected him sharply. ‘You want me to divorce my wife for someone who lives on the other side of the world?’
‘Am I not worth it?’ Bradley asked quietly.
‘Can’t you see how much harder it would be!’ Colin shouted, evading the question. ‘It’s hard enough knowing that I won’t get to see you every day, that you won’t be there when I get home, spouting rubbish and making me feel better, just instinctively knowing something is wrong. Somehow when I know that nothing can happen between us, that makes it easier for me to bear. And nothing can happen because I’m married.’
‘That’s so selfish!’ Bradley was angry, an emotion that Colin rarely associated with Bradley. ‘What about me?’
‘What do you want from me Bradley?’ Colin demanded, angry too now. ‘You want me to split up with the woman I love and move myself halfway across the world, away from my family and friends to be with you. Now who’s being selfish?’
‘At least I’m not lying to myself. You don’t love Claire, you just like the idea of a wife. Plus you just want sex on tap!’ Bradley spat, an ill considered comment bought on by his anger.
‘Says the guy that’s with a different person every week. You may as well have ‘easy’ tattooed on your forehead!’ Colin shouted furiously. He instantly knew he had gone too far. There was a long silence on Bradley’s end and Colin already had an apology on his lips when Bradley spoke.
‘You know Laura broke up with me because she says that you’re the one that I should be with. She said that everyone deserves a chance at true love and happiness.’ He paused again. ‘It seems she was wrong’ he finished sadly and hung up the phone.
Colin dialled back immediately, cursing himself from his stupidity. He was already halfway through speaking when he realised it had gone straight voice mail. He rallied and started again.
‘Bradley I’m so sorry. What I said was totally twatish. I deserve the wombats being thrown at me. You’re right, I am selfish. And you’re right about the other things too. Everybody deserves a chance at true love. I... I love you Bradley. Please call me back and tell me I’m not too late. We can make this work I promise.’
*
9.30 am (US)
Bradley didn’t give himself anymore time to think about it. He smashed his phone against the wall and then stamped on it a few times for good measure. He had had a sudden moment of clarity. He knew he had to just rid Colin Morgan from his life. It hurt too much to be ‘just friends’ with him. He just needed a clean break. Bradley was sick of all this. Sick of loving a man that did nothing but put obstacles in his way, a man that made him feel so happy and in the next breath made him want to cry. He was sick of Colin with his laughing eyes, a person he could be totally himself with, that always knew what he was thinking and had stayed by his side through every ridiculous misadventure.
Bradley was suddenly flooded with every fond memory he had of Colin which was a lot. Which only served to piss him off because it just showed how much Colin was willing to give up. And for what? His excuses were unclear at best.
Bradley tore into his room and pulled out his box of photos and souvenirs. He rifled through it until he found the envelope of photos that had been taken at the leaving ‘reception’. He had been so homesick when he had got to America that he had printed off almost every one of Lucy’s photos. He pulled out the ones of Colin and looked at them briefly. Then he started tearing them up, the anger driving him as he fought to rid himself of every memory. He realised with a start that he was crying ad he brushed the tears away impatiently, taking vindictive pleasure in seeing jagged lines appear across Colin’s smiling face.
And then he had reached the last photo in the pile. He was already holding it, ready to tear when he looked at it properly. It was the one of them together, arms around each other and looking into each other’s faces. They looked happy and relaxed and totally oblivious to everything going on around them, just focussed on each other. They looked like a couple and Bradley was suddenly struck with an impression of what they could have been. A fresh wave of anger and regret flooded over Bradley again and he tensed, wanting nothing more than to tear the photo into bits. But then he sighed and put the picture carefully back in the envelope. He was mad at Colin right now but he still couldn’t help loving him. He put the envelope back in the box and his eyes came to rest on a small piece of paper.
We always have hope was written across it in Colin’s untidy scrawl. Bradley’s hand instinctively clenched around the small wooden dove he constantly carried in his pocket. His hand tightened around it and then he drew it out, giving it one last look before dropping it into the box. He hoped his lucky charm worked even when shut out of sight because right now hope was all he had.
*
4.59 pm (UK)
‘Colin you’re like forty five minutes late!’ Claire exclaimed but she didn’t sound angry, she sounded concerned which made Colin feel like the worst person on the planet right now. He handed her the flowers he had bought on the way, lilies, her favourite and she smiled in delight.
‘I’m so sorry. I had to ring... my agent.’ Colin lied and then cursed himself. It seemed he was a coward. A selfish coward. He was finding out a lot of unpleasant things about himself today. But when he called Bradley’s mobile for the second and third time it had said the number did not exist. He tried the landline but it was disconnected. Out of desperation he had sent Bradley an email, horrified that he wouldn’t be able to make this right before Bradley cut him out of his life. He had come to find Claire with the determination of telling her the truth but Bradley was right. He did like the idea of a wife. When he was young the concept of a picket fence life with a wife, 2.5 kids and a dog was drummed into him as the ideal way to live. Well they were too busy for kids and Claire was allergic to dogs and they lived in a flat but one of four wasn’t bad right? And he liked the idea that someone would be there for him for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part. A nagging voice in his head that sounded a lot like Katie reminded him that Bradley had always been there for him without the vow. But it seemed it was too late. Colin sighed and pulled Claire to him, giving her a quick kiss.
‘I’ll make it up to you’ he said.
*
8.00 pm (US)
Bradley had deleted the email from Colin without reading it and then cancelled his email address. Then he had rung Logan, from a pay phone seeing as every other phone he owned was either destroyed or disconnected. He and Logan were still good friends even though Cops and Robbers was no longer on.
Now they were sat in the pub and Bradley was venting all the anger and frustration of the past day to Logan.
‘So I call him up because I was feeling pretty shitty about the break up. And then I end up sort of telling him the truth and he was a total bastard about it. I was totally open about how I felt and he threw it back in my face. So I realised the time had come to stop moping over Colin Morgan and get on with my life. A clean break’ Bradley said firmly. ‘I only wish it hadn’t taken me six years to work this out! I’m thirty-four it’s about time I knew what I was doing right?’ Bradley ranted.
‘I don’t think anyone ever truly knows what they’re doing’ was Logan’s considered answer. ‘Are you sure you’re doing the right thing? I mean... if you really love him don’t you think he’s worth fighting for?’
‘But that’s just the problem’ Bradley said. ‘Colin doesn’t think I’m worth fighting for. He doesn’t think I’m worth it full stop. And enough is enough. If he wants me, it’ll have to be on his terms’ Bradley said firmly.
‘Well you’re not really making it easy for him are you? What if he’s trying to call you? I mean you killed your mobile, disconnected your land line and cancelled your email address. What’s a man to do?’
‘I also defriended him on facebook’ Bradley said solemnly. ‘That makes it official.’
‘Oh no this shit just got real!’ Logan said and they both chuckled, both enjoying the slight relief from the serious conversation.
‘Excuse me?’ A tall man with dark hair, green eyes and a quirky smile had stopped by their table and was now looking at Bradley with clear interest. ‘I was wondering if I could buy you a drink?’
This guy was just Bradley’s type and Logan waited for the usual wink and ‘see ya later mate’ that usually accompanied these offers which told him he may as well go home because Bradley would be going home with whoever had just picked him up. In fact he was already half way through nodding his acquiescence when Bradley spoke.
‘Nah sorry mate. I’ve just got out of a... complicated relationship. I’m not really looking for a fling right now.’
‘Alright your loss’ the guy shrugged and walked away. Logan stared at Bradley, stunned.
Bradley grinned sheepishly. ‘No more filling the void with meaningless sex’ he vowed.
‘Maybe I was wrong’ Logan said, still amazed. ‘Maybe you do know what you’re doing. I just hope you don’t live to regret this. It’s harder than you think just cutting someone out your life.’
Bradley thought of the photo and the wooden dove still safe in the box under his bed and he nodded. ‘Tell me about it.’
*
Part 5