(no subject)
Without further ado,
i finally decided that i want to have children so i can threaten them with turning into me some day... and drowning
why wasn't i made in God's image? there's no way He's this messed up
the only way i'll ever be willing to be referred to as a homemaker is if i take up the art of carpentry
i'm beauty and the beast all wrapped up in one handy Christmas gift-pack
God should come out with an album. i'll bet He's got great rythm
sex is awesome, we should all be getting more of it... especially me
i have to work out like a triathlete just to maintain chubby
how do you think God felt, sending His good Jewish boy to Israel and have Him come home Christian?
the only other being i could survive as would be a drag-queen
if i ever get time i'm writing a book called, "confessions of a hoe-bag." it starts out:
"First I’d like to point out that I’ve only slept with one person, which I hope makes me more of a hoe-clutch, or perhaps a hoe-tote than a full-fledged bag. However, I’ve screwed around with enough guys to definitely qualify me as some type of hoe."
-because i like the term hoe-tote. mom'd love it too
i want a t-shirt that says "english muffin" on it... i'm part english, and i'm a muffin
i think i'm going to have a gay son. i'm going to spend my pregnancy with speakers playing cher strapped to my belly and only watch bette midler and barbara streisand movies. hello life-long personal shopper!!
i love cole porter's "let's do it" but i love the one by the joan jette and the blackhearts more
i don't like the idea of curves being the ones that go inward. mainly because i don't have any of these anymore.
i think toast is a funny word
naomi watts has been in some pretty weird shit
i have never been strip-searched. why not? i got arrested and not even a pat-down. my brother's ex got a pat-down and i'm way cuter than she is.
batman's the only man for me, all manly and wearing revealing hard molded plastic.
i'm a senior in college and i'm still this much of a spaz.
soy products are the weirdest things in the world
chick flicks are all about one person dying slowly, guy movies are all about many people dying quickly.
Tori Spelling is more famous than I am. Bitch.
I think I’ve run out of morals.
Every man should have at least one tattoo
I hate it when minor movie characters get billed higher than larger characters because they have bigger names
Genitals rhyme with tentacles. That’s weird to me.
Fuck em, fuck em all.
Not enough people appreciate the freedom of “because I can”
She has too much time to sit and think, I think...
i finally decided that i want to have children so i can threaten them with turning into me some day... and drowning
why wasn't i made in God's image? there's no way He's this messed up
the only way i'll ever be willing to be referred to as a homemaker is if i take up the art of carpentry
i'm beauty and the beast all wrapped up in one handy Christmas gift-pack
God should come out with an album. i'll bet He's got great rythm
sex is awesome, we should all be getting more of it... especially me
i have to work out like a triathlete just to maintain chubby
how do you think God felt, sending His good Jewish boy to Israel and have Him come home Christian?
the only other being i could survive as would be a drag-queen
if i ever get time i'm writing a book called, "confessions of a hoe-bag." it starts out:
"First I’d like to point out that I’ve only slept with one person, which I hope makes me more of a hoe-clutch, or perhaps a hoe-tote than a full-fledged bag. However, I’ve screwed around with enough guys to definitely qualify me as some type of hoe."
-because i like the term hoe-tote. mom'd love it too
i want a t-shirt that says "english muffin" on it... i'm part english, and i'm a muffin
i think i'm going to have a gay son. i'm going to spend my pregnancy with speakers playing cher strapped to my belly and only watch bette midler and barbara streisand movies. hello life-long personal shopper!!
i love cole porter's "let's do it" but i love the one by the joan jette and the blackhearts more
i don't like the idea of curves being the ones that go inward. mainly because i don't have any of these anymore.
i think toast is a funny word
naomi watts has been in some pretty weird shit
i have never been strip-searched. why not? i got arrested and not even a pat-down. my brother's ex got a pat-down and i'm way cuter than she is.
batman's the only man for me, all manly and wearing revealing hard molded plastic.
i'm a senior in college and i'm still this much of a spaz.
soy products are the weirdest things in the world
chick flicks are all about one person dying slowly, guy movies are all about many people dying quickly.
Tori Spelling is more famous than I am. Bitch.
I think I’ve run out of morals.
Every man should have at least one tattoo
I hate it when minor movie characters get billed higher than larger characters because they have bigger names
Genitals rhyme with tentacles. That’s weird to me.
Fuck em, fuck em all.
Not enough people appreciate the freedom of “because I can”
She has too much time to sit and think, I think...