Wrestling Meme while I dye my hair.
WRESTLING MUSES
1. RVD
2. Randy Orton
3. Ken Kennedy
4. Shawn Michaels
5. Big Show
6. Beth Phoenix
7. Lita
8. Shelton Benjamin
9. Jeff Hardy
10. Triple H
THE QUESTIONS
1. Four (Shawn Michaels) invites Three (Ken Kennedy) and Eight (Shelton Benjamin) to dinner at their house. What happens?
WOW, this can't end well! The only reason I can think of why Shawn would invite either Ken or Shelly to his house would be to try to get them to participate in some kind of hot tub-oriented four-way with Hunter. Kennedy would get to Shawn's driveway, then sit in his car for an hour before getting enough nerve to get out of the car. Shelton would come armed; HE KNOWS SHAWN and doesn't trust him any farther than he can throw him! Ken would only get out of the car once he saw that Shelton had showed up as well. Shelton would bust out the pepper spray or baseball bat the second Shawn tried anything remotely sexy or romantic. Triple H would corner poor Ken, and he'd still be struggling to get free of the big lug's loving(?!) embrace while Shelton got the hell out. Ken is doomed to sexy hot tub times with DX.
2. Nine (Jeff Hardy) tries to get Five (Big Show) to go to a strip club. How?
I can only see them stopping there for a drink. Jeff doesn't seem like Big Show's type of road buddy, or vice-versa. I don't know. Maybe Big Show has a lady friend who works there and Jeff wants to use her as a model for his latest project?
3. You need to stay at a friend's house for the night. Who do you choose, One (RVD) or Six (Beth Phoenix)?
Ooh, sorry Beth, but I'm going with Rob! We could chill, watch movies, expand our minds, talk about life, the universe, and everything, and play some Wii. It would be kickass.
4. Three (Ken Kennedy) falls in love with Six (Beth Phoenix), Eight (Shelton Benjamin) is jealous. What happens?
Ken clearly has a deathwish. Why does he insist on getting involved with people who could kick his ass? Shelton is jealous because.... he likes Beth? maybe, stranger things have happened in the 'E universe. Maybe Beth loves Wii Fit? She and Shelton share a love of Sonic? Ken stopped playing Call of Duty with Shelly to hang with Beth? It's a mystery. Ken is a fool.
4. Four (Shawm Michaels) jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue, Ten (Triple H), Two (Randy Orton) or Seven (Lita)?
Oh, my~! I don't know if I'd want to be rescued if I got jumped by Shawn, unless he was pissy about me talking trash about Christianity. Triple H would only back him up, and I can't see Randy "IED" Orton caring enough to intervene. Lita would probably help me out, going after them for trying to beat up a girl.
5. One (RVD) decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what is happening?
Rob would bake delicious brownies and distribute them among the audience! Sabu would probably be the camera man, bitching all the while. He would have added the secret ingredient in a closed-off room, of course. The cooking show would turn into a discussion about the benefits of growing hemp for paper and clothing purposes, thus saving our rainforests. The cops would show up after some square called them up, distressed at the green-flecked, relaxing brownies, and Rob would have to beat it out of there.
6. Three (Ken Kennedy) has to marry either Eight (Shelton Benjamin), Four (Shawn Michaels) or Nine (Jeff Hardy). Who do they choose?
Kennedy probably couldn't stand Jeff, and HBK terrifies him for reasons he'd rather not get into right now, so by default he'd marry Shelton. For tax purposes. Also he really wants to play on Shelton's PS3.
7. Seven (Lita) kidnaps Two (Randy Orton) and demands something from Five (Big Show) for Two's (Randy Orton) release. What is it?
Oh, snap. Lita's old grudge against Randy for stealing her fluffy Edge away resurfaces at a random meeting between the two, and she bludgeons him and stashes him in her basement. That's the only thing I can think of as to why she'd want to go after him. She demands a date from Big Show for Randy's release. Who can resist Big Show, after all? Nobody, that's who~!
8. Everyone gangs up on Three (Ken Kennedy), does Three (Kennedy) have a chance in hell?
Pfft, no. The idiot would think he could take on everybody at once. He'd get his ass kicked and then spend the night at Randy's, nursing his wounds. H/C anyone?
9. Everyone is invited to Two (Randy Orton) and Ten's (Triple H's) wedding, except for Eight (Shelton Benjamin). How do they react?
There must be some kind of mind-control involved, because there's no way Randy would get within 10 feet of Triple H unless he had his cronies lying in wait. That's it! Triple H is blackmailing Randy to marry him for his little Legacy boy toys. ... Because.. that's how Trips rolls, bitches. Shelton is not invited because Triple H HATES SHELTON, the jealous jerk, and doesn't want Shelton to un-hypnotize Randy and/or help him out of his blackmailing situation. ... It makes total sense.
10. Why is Six (Beth Phoenix) afraid of Seven (Lita)?
She's probably not. She's not scared of much. The only thing to fear is WWE's mishandling of their female wrestlers!! Maybe she's scared of getting Lita's exit from the 'E? They seem like they'd be buddies, honestly!
11. One (RVD) arrives late for Two (Randy Orton) and Ten's (Triple H's) wedding. What happens and why were they late?
Rob got lost on the way to the blackmail/mind-control wedding because he had to cool his heels at Sabu's after the pot-brownies situation; Rob and Sabu consumed the rest of the delicious treats and come into the wedding while high as kites. They completely disrupt the ceremony, much to Triple H's dismay. Shelton, Shawn Michaels, and Ken Kennedy bomb in and break it up for their own reasons, and Triple H is left at the alter, with only Shawn and his blackmail/mind-control wedding cake for comfort.
12. Five (Big Show) and Nine (Jeff Hardy) get roaring drunk and end up in your house. What happens?
Big Show and Jeff, again? I suppose they could have gotten back from the strip club after getting sloshed. I would lecture them on the dangers of drinking and driving. After that, we might play Mario Kart or something.
13. Nine (Jeff Hardy) murders Two's (Randy Orton's) best friend. What does Two (Randy Orton) do to get back at them?
Jeff has a death wish I take it. Randy wouldn't personally murder him, but he'd send Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum after him, and Jeff would be found in a stairwell yet again; whether he'd be alive or dead depends on how loyal Randy's Legacy butt-buddies are.
14. Six (Beth Phoenix) and One (RVD) are in mortal danger, only one of them can survive. Does Six (Beth) save herself or One (RVD)?
Pfft, Beth is out for #1~! No worries, though, Rob can yoga his way out of anything♥
15. Two (Randy Orton) and Three (Ken Kennedy) go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?
Randy suggest salacious alternatives, to which Ken shoves Randy in the nearest lake and stomps off into the forest to forage for nuts and berries. Randy finds Ken hours later, gathering edibles. Ken, after all, has grown up in the wilds of Wisconsin, and isn't a complete dummy. They eat their nuts and berries until Randy is sick of roughing it and cries about going to the IHOP they had passed on their way to the campsite. Ken gives in after Randy promises to make it worth missing the true experience of camping outdoors.
WHOO, my hair is its natural color again! :D