Fantastic Beasts 2: The Crimes of Grindeldepp
Thoughts on the latest in the most necessary of spin-offs?
My recap below.
So, our film begins in the US MoM as we’re assured by President Picquery (in a blonde wig, inexplicably) that Grindeldepp can be kept in custody, as the UK Auror offers that six months without charge is long enough. First scene and I’m already filled with questions! Why is the UK representing all of ‘Europe’? And why is JKR so fascinated with the elder wand, which, when all’s said and done, is just a stick?
Anyway, there's much Marvel level politics - you have two sides, outright fascist Grindeldepp, or the MoM who’ve kept a prisoner without trial, removed his tongue, and who are trying to execute the abused kid!
Presumably we’re supposed to realise that when Harry and Hermione take over in 70 years, the entire corrupt system will suddenly become reformed, and really, better a US/UK fascist than some Johnny Foreigner. Like, Newt calls Aurors ‘careerist hypocrites’, which, if anything, is letting them off light; but it’s their ‘side’ he joins, and he takes pains to note that Tina isn’t like that, so you’re looking at the same kind of insular worldbuilding as the Potterverse - both sides cheerfully torture, Imperius and break the law, but moral status is really defined by who’s nice to Harry, or cheerleads Dumbledore.
It’s revealed that Grindeldepp is in disguise again (surely the first thing you’d check, since his only defined characteristic is ‘likes to hide in the bodies of better actors?’), a device as fresh as it was in the fourth PoTC, and with Depp providing a similar level of craft.
We switch back to the UK (I love that JKR threw a bone to US fans, but just can’t help but long to return to good old Europe - French jokes abound!) as Eddie Redmayne’s gurning is now so OTT, he’s eclipsing his own portrayal of Stephen Hawking.
We meet Leta Lestrange (who doesn’t really match the previous descriptions of her as a ‘taker’. It’s implied she and Newt have feelings for each other, but she’s engaged to his brother Theseus, a large wooden sign enscribed ‘TBA’. Why she likes Theseus - or for that matter, Newt! - is a mystery, but there doesn’t seem to be ‘taking’ from either involved; however, the wording clearly pings with JKR’s id, where most women are predatory plotters hoping to take advantage of hapless men.)
Leta gets surprisingly few lines (as does Nagini) but they both wear dresses cut to the navel in all their scenes. (There’s no GoF style male eye candy like Bulgarian Bon Bon Viktor Krum, now we’re living in the endless Yatesverse 🙁)
Newt is called in to the MoM, in diminishing returns from when this was a chapter in Order of the Phoenix; particularly as everyone in the series constantly defies the government (Dumbledore apparently made a career of it!) to general acclaim, but I guess we should feel sympathy anyway.
Newt notes he enjoys international travel, which I suppose is made easier by the fact he’s a white dude; as is his proclamation that he ‘doesn’t do sides’, which is far easier when you’re not being targeted.
Strawmen Ministry Villains offer him a job killing Credence, who’s survival is explained in an off-screen line, as to show it may have inadvertently endangered this script by including plot rather than ceaseless exposition.
A guy called Grimmson practically licks his own axe as he offers to take the role. Newt concludes that he won’t kill Credence, but also won’t worry himself about the crazy, competent killer who definitely will. (Luckily, said character later apparates out of the film in search of a better role!)
We then meet Grindeldepp’s Death Eaters redux, a bunch of henchmen with untrustworthy foreign names, and his female support. (If you don’t have a man you place all authority and trust in, you really have no place in the series.) There’s so much potential for women in the Potterverse, though, and with three movies to go, I eagerly anticipate Rosier’s direction. Will she get pregnant before or after she dies in a cat-fight?
Anyway, she does have great taste in hats if not men, and while the Bechdel test is a crazy, far-off dream for this series, we do get a scene with just her and Queenie; so I’m assigning you all 1000 words of femslash due Monday.
The Death Eaters kill a baby (I guess JKR worried that her arch political portrayals were too subtle), and unfortunately, as a muggle, it’s mother’s love was insufficient. There’s a baby death theme to this film, which I guess is one way to enliven part 2 of a quintology…?
Judelawdore demands Newt find Credence, telling Newt that he’s trustworthy as his morality is not based on ‘power’ or ‘popularity’ (his own passions) but on what’s right, which frankly, seems like a huge leap. Newt’s morality is like, Hagrid level deep, hence the fact he has to be forced to take any action here.
(Morality, particularly for dude leads, is always such a pathetically low bar in this ‘verse, though, it’s always ‘Harry treats his slave considerately and has to build up to torture spells’ or ‘Newt, you like looking after animals more than brutally murdering people’. I guess at least we see how Dumbledore honed and developed his manipulation skills.)
Dumbles explains that Credence’s obscurus is like a ‘dark sibling’, but a real brother or sister may still save him. (Um, Credence had two adopted sisters, and seemed pretty damn bonded to the little one, but whatever, blood is all, let’s anvilise the Mystery of Credence’s Family.)
Having followed Dumble’s story for eight instalments, it goes without saying that his interest in abused, magical children who are useful political bargaining chips is 100% altruism, and that he can’t risk anything personally for Reasons.
We then move to Newt’s home, meeting his assistant/helper Bunty, who the script describes as a ‘plain girl’ who’s in love with Newt. I know she’s not The One, obviously (she’s not hot!), and JKR has taken pains to remove all potential ambiguity by assuring us that Newt 4 Tina 4eva, so I’m going to assume that, like all fug girls, she’s evil.
Queenie and Jacob arrive to visit and for their relationship to explode, as JKR realised that their portrayals in the last movie were in severe danger of being naturalistic and charming.
Jacob's obliviation didn't take as apparently it only eliminated sad memories - wtf?! But whatever, I'd rather have Dan Fogler and Alison Sudol onscreen, I'll buy that.
Queenie then explains Europe is more progressive than the US, which bans Muggle-wizard intra-marriage, so quid pro quo, she's using magic on Jacob until they can get married and have babies (every woman's secret long game. I'm one, I know what we're like!) We can assume this is some seriously dark shit, but then again, Queenie’s not a Slytherin or ugly, so maybe this is a potentially forgivable, even endearing prank that doesn't really matter, like the twins chucking Montague in a toilet, or Molly fondly reminiscing about love potions.
It's also revealed Tina has an Auror boyfriend called Stupidly Dickensian Unnecessary Plot Delay. I hope he's a hot 'exotic' type like Cho, Viktor, or Dean. They help lead you to your white true love while still giving you the valuable experience of having kissed one person before you go to the marital alter.
Speaking of, Katherine Waterston? The Potterverse hasn't seen an actress this magnetic since Bonnie Wright, and Newtina crackle with barely concealed sexual tension.
Nagini, like Theseus, is basically a placeholder for later, with as minimal a role as it's possible to possess (she degays Credence, wears tight clothes and has a tragic ending defending her boss, what more could you ask?) But don't worry, Twitter was invented so any content neglected by the movie can be detailed later. Maybe one day, JKR can just fulfill her ambition to post the scripts online and stop making movies and books altogether.
Nagini and Credence escape from the circus (they were confined?!) as he goes to find his real mom, who in the grand tradition of Potterverse mums has probably bred and died shortly afterwards, mission accomplished, like a suicidal octopus.
Jacob notes he's lucky to be with Queenie (after all, he's fat!) and should apologize for her reading his mind and thinking she's crazy, just because she spent like half a year violating his mind.
He also says she was interested in what he thought, which is so JKR it's almost endearing. (Like the cut backstory that his previous fiancé dumped him for being poor.) Jacob, most women are interested in what men think. Aside from planning to die in childbirth because we don't care enough to live, and plotting our next rape, women really aren't thinking about much generally, and obviously expecting a man who cares about what we think is sjw bullshit, like wanting a story to make sense.
We get more backstory of Newt and Leta (McGonagall or her ancestor makes a cameo as the pseudo gruff teacher ignoring bullies from her own house - some things never change!)
Leta was bullied by Gryffindors for being unloved (?!), which must have been wrenching to write. On one hand, the bullies are girls, so they're probably just jealous of her hairdo, or have hung out with each other too much and suffered a lack of Cool Girl Potion (transmitted by exposure to the Y chromosome); but then again, they’re Gryffindors picking on a Slytherin, so anything bad that the Slytherin concerned has or will do means they're retroactively justified.
Newt reveals further hipster privilege, his worst fear being working in an office; and he and Leta establish a friendship based around her telling him she doesn’t want to talk, and him then mansplaining Bowtruckles incessantly.
It’s also revealed that Leta had a brother who died, which Dumbledore checkmates by mentioning his dead sister.
Leta asked if he loved her, to which he answers ‘Not as well as I should have’, which is probably as emotionally revealing as he ever gets (Leta needs to watch her back from now on!)
Leta calls herself ‘wicked’, which means she may have hurt a dude or even dudes!
Depp, btw, is a revelation. Haters to the left, he exhibits all the skill demonstrated in his wide range of roles (kooky hat, wearing a wig, doing a shoddy accent.) He wears a coloured contact lens, people, even Tim Burton couldn’t get this level of performance out of him!
His hiring may have been controversial and damaged JKR’s credibility (WB and David Yates never had any to begin with) but I think we can safely say that the message sent to domestic abuse survivors and indeed, all women, was well worth it for his seven minutes onscreen delivering a slurred mutter!
It’s also hinted that he and Dumbles have a past, the sort you share with someone that gains your author lib cred, while never offending the Chinese market. Relationships are complex!
We then get some Lestrange backstory: Leta’s father raped his wife by way of the Imperius curse - the first recorded instance in the Potterverse of a dude needing to ply, force or manipulate a woman into being around him, and not the other way around.
However, a daughter was a disappointment to him, as the Lestranges view women as flowers on their family tree - ‘beautiful’ (thank god!) but ‘separate’.
I love that JKR’s politics and ethics always seem to stop as ‘really, really liberal - if you were born the same time as Louisa May Alcott.’
On one hand you have a society that’s supposedly more socially and technologically advanced than Muggles of the same era (The US can’t even elect a female president now, let alone 100 years ago!), but all the dilemmas seem based around Victorians - is it ethical to raid Egyptian tombs for British banks? Is it okay to have a slave if you really, really don’t feel like making a sandwich? How many women is it acceptable to use the Star Wars died-in-childbirth resolution for?
Leta’s father wanted a boy and never cared for her, but thankfully, while an unloving mother figure causes a literalised monster, an unloving dad not so much.
Papa Lestrange knew his stepson would be seeking revenge, so he hid his beloved son Sleeping Beauty style, sending him to an abuse wizard hater to protect him (someone’s being taken responsibility lessons from Dumbledore) with an accompanying Leta cause...idk. The nanny was out of town?
Leta reveals she, baby Corvus, nanny, Credence and his aunt (?? Obviously an aunt can’t be an influential figure in a child’s life, we don’t even know if her womb functions at all, but this reveal is skimmed over so fast it makes Theseus and Nagini look deep. Who is this woman? Credence spends the whole movie talking about finding his family, then conveniently ignores the one blood relation he may have had.) travelled to the US on a ship.
Her brother cries incessantly, so she decides to swap the babies, which are thankfully identical. I can buy in the fuss, you wouldn’t notice a difference, but it seems odd for a 7-8 year old to swap infants to stop one crying, when a) you’re in adjoining cabins, and the baby will be audible anywhere, b) why not just leave both babies?, and C) why isn’t the nanny caring for the baby (probs she’s not a blood relation and therefore would just as soon throw it in the river at any moment!)
Credence’s aunt contrivedly dies at some point between exiting the ship with the Lestranges, who make it onto a boat.
This is kind of similar to the deranged reveal in HBP that Snape sucks for specifically risking Harry, as opposed to any common or garden baby. We don’t really get a reaction to the idea that a baby would still have died in front of Leta, or that the death of Credence’s aunt, drowned trying to rescue what she thinks is her nephew, has any bearing on her guilt; it’s just ‘Ooops, I think my brother drowned, not some rando helpless infant.’
Newt reassures her she was only a child, which is the kind of sensible mindset that gets you sorted into Hufflepuff, I guess, but Leta Joss Whedons that she’s a monster. (I guess proving she’s a pussy Slytherin, they always seem to have these tearful reactions to torturing other human beings or causing permanent harm.)
Grindeldepp organises a rally in which Theseus tells the other Aurors to use minimum force as Grindeldepp has criticised them for being repressive fascists (accurately, tbh) so of course, some Auror kills a spectator for touching their own wand. I’m never really sure where JKR’s going with governmental criticism, tbh. Rules and authority are bad, but Hermione’s going to Prime Minister and Harry’s going to run the police? Spectators Lives Matter, but then again, they were at an Eeeeevil Rally in the first place, so swings and roundabouts?
Queenie decides she needs to join Grindeldepp because Love (I guess we should have seen her potential for darkness, considering how femme and draped in pink she is), while Leta redeems herself like any good Slytherin by leaving the narrative, telling both Scamanders she loves them (okay) although it’s very obvious that she’s not dead and will return in FB3: The Paddling of the Dead Horse - With Paddles!
Dumbles reveals he made a vow when Depp was Jamie Campbell Bower never to fight him (what kind of sissy ass promise is that for a self-respecting Gryffindor to make?!) but Newt’s Platypus creature stole a vial that somehow erases this promise, so there’s the possible hint that maybe three movies into the very necessary five, something may happen at some point!
PS. Credence is now a Dumbledore. The End!
My recap below.
So, our film begins in the US MoM as we’re assured by President Picquery (in a blonde wig, inexplicably) that Grindeldepp can be kept in custody, as the UK Auror offers that six months without charge is long enough. First scene and I’m already filled with questions! Why is the UK representing all of ‘Europe’? And why is JKR so fascinated with the elder wand, which, when all’s said and done, is just a stick?
Anyway, there's much Marvel level politics - you have two sides, outright fascist Grindeldepp, or the MoM who’ve kept a prisoner without trial, removed his tongue, and who are trying to execute the abused kid!
Presumably we’re supposed to realise that when Harry and Hermione take over in 70 years, the entire corrupt system will suddenly become reformed, and really, better a US/UK fascist than some Johnny Foreigner. Like, Newt calls Aurors ‘careerist hypocrites’, which, if anything, is letting them off light; but it’s their ‘side’ he joins, and he takes pains to note that Tina isn’t like that, so you’re looking at the same kind of insular worldbuilding as the Potterverse - both sides cheerfully torture, Imperius and break the law, but moral status is really defined by who’s nice to Harry, or cheerleads Dumbledore.
It’s revealed that Grindeldepp is in disguise again (surely the first thing you’d check, since his only defined characteristic is ‘likes to hide in the bodies of better actors?’), a device as fresh as it was in the fourth PoTC, and with Depp providing a similar level of craft.
We switch back to the UK (I love that JKR threw a bone to US fans, but just can’t help but long to return to good old Europe - French jokes abound!) as Eddie Redmayne’s gurning is now so OTT, he’s eclipsing his own portrayal of Stephen Hawking.
We meet Leta Lestrange (who doesn’t really match the previous descriptions of her as a ‘taker’. It’s implied she and Newt have feelings for each other, but she’s engaged to his brother Theseus, a large wooden sign enscribed ‘TBA’. Why she likes Theseus - or for that matter, Newt! - is a mystery, but there doesn’t seem to be ‘taking’ from either involved; however, the wording clearly pings with JKR’s id, where most women are predatory plotters hoping to take advantage of hapless men.)
Leta gets surprisingly few lines (as does Nagini) but they both wear dresses cut to the navel in all their scenes. (There’s no GoF style male eye candy like Bulgarian Bon Bon Viktor Krum, now we’re living in the endless Yatesverse 🙁)
Newt is called in to the MoM, in diminishing returns from when this was a chapter in Order of the Phoenix; particularly as everyone in the series constantly defies the government (Dumbledore apparently made a career of it!) to general acclaim, but I guess we should feel sympathy anyway.
Newt notes he enjoys international travel, which I suppose is made easier by the fact he’s a white dude; as is his proclamation that he ‘doesn’t do sides’, which is far easier when you’re not being targeted.
Strawmen Ministry Villains offer him a job killing Credence, who’s survival is explained in an off-screen line, as to show it may have inadvertently endangered this script by including plot rather than ceaseless exposition.
A guy called Grimmson practically licks his own axe as he offers to take the role. Newt concludes that he won’t kill Credence, but also won’t worry himself about the crazy, competent killer who definitely will. (Luckily, said character later apparates out of the film in search of a better role!)
We then meet Grindeldepp’s Death Eaters redux, a bunch of henchmen with untrustworthy foreign names, and his female support. (If you don’t have a man you place all authority and trust in, you really have no place in the series.) There’s so much potential for women in the Potterverse, though, and with three movies to go, I eagerly anticipate Rosier’s direction. Will she get pregnant before or after she dies in a cat-fight?
Anyway, she does have great taste in hats if not men, and while the Bechdel test is a crazy, far-off dream for this series, we do get a scene with just her and Queenie; so I’m assigning you all 1000 words of femslash due Monday.
The Death Eaters kill a baby (I guess JKR worried that her arch political portrayals were too subtle), and unfortunately, as a muggle, it’s mother’s love was insufficient. There’s a baby death theme to this film, which I guess is one way to enliven part 2 of a quintology…?
Judelawdore demands Newt find Credence, telling Newt that he’s trustworthy as his morality is not based on ‘power’ or ‘popularity’ (his own passions) but on what’s right, which frankly, seems like a huge leap. Newt’s morality is like, Hagrid level deep, hence the fact he has to be forced to take any action here.
(Morality, particularly for dude leads, is always such a pathetically low bar in this ‘verse, though, it’s always ‘Harry treats his slave considerately and has to build up to torture spells’ or ‘Newt, you like looking after animals more than brutally murdering people’. I guess at least we see how Dumbledore honed and developed his manipulation skills.)
Dumbles explains that Credence’s obscurus is like a ‘dark sibling’, but a real brother or sister may still save him. (Um, Credence had two adopted sisters, and seemed pretty damn bonded to the little one, but whatever, blood is all, let’s anvilise the Mystery of Credence’s Family.)
Having followed Dumble’s story for eight instalments, it goes without saying that his interest in abused, magical children who are useful political bargaining chips is 100% altruism, and that he can’t risk anything personally for Reasons.
We then move to Newt’s home, meeting his assistant/helper Bunty, who the script describes as a ‘plain girl’ who’s in love with Newt. I know she’s not The One, obviously (she’s not hot!), and JKR has taken pains to remove all potential ambiguity by assuring us that Newt 4 Tina 4eva, so I’m going to assume that, like all fug girls, she’s evil.
Queenie and Jacob arrive to visit and for their relationship to explode, as JKR realised that their portrayals in the last movie were in severe danger of being naturalistic and charming.
Jacob's obliviation didn't take as apparently it only eliminated sad memories - wtf?! But whatever, I'd rather have Dan Fogler and Alison Sudol onscreen, I'll buy that.
Queenie then explains Europe is more progressive than the US, which bans Muggle-wizard intra-marriage, so quid pro quo, she's using magic on Jacob until they can get married and have babies (every woman's secret long game. I'm one, I know what we're like!) We can assume this is some seriously dark shit, but then again, Queenie’s not a Slytherin or ugly, so maybe this is a potentially forgivable, even endearing prank that doesn't really matter, like the twins chucking Montague in a toilet, or Molly fondly reminiscing about love potions.
It's also revealed Tina has an Auror boyfriend called Stupidly Dickensian Unnecessary Plot Delay. I hope he's a hot 'exotic' type like Cho, Viktor, or Dean. They help lead you to your white true love while still giving you the valuable experience of having kissed one person before you go to the marital alter.
Speaking of, Katherine Waterston? The Potterverse hasn't seen an actress this magnetic since Bonnie Wright, and Newtina crackle with barely concealed sexual tension.
Nagini, like Theseus, is basically a placeholder for later, with as minimal a role as it's possible to possess (she degays Credence, wears tight clothes and has a tragic ending defending her boss, what more could you ask?) But don't worry, Twitter was invented so any content neglected by the movie can be detailed later. Maybe one day, JKR can just fulfill her ambition to post the scripts online and stop making movies and books altogether.
Nagini and Credence escape from the circus (they were confined?!) as he goes to find his real mom, who in the grand tradition of Potterverse mums has probably bred and died shortly afterwards, mission accomplished, like a suicidal octopus.
Jacob notes he's lucky to be with Queenie (after all, he's fat!) and should apologize for her reading his mind and thinking she's crazy, just because she spent like half a year violating his mind.
He also says she was interested in what he thought, which is so JKR it's almost endearing. (Like the cut backstory that his previous fiancé dumped him for being poor.) Jacob, most women are interested in what men think. Aside from planning to die in childbirth because we don't care enough to live, and plotting our next rape, women really aren't thinking about much generally, and obviously expecting a man who cares about what we think is sjw bullshit, like wanting a story to make sense.
We get more backstory of Newt and Leta (McGonagall or her ancestor makes a cameo as the pseudo gruff teacher ignoring bullies from her own house - some things never change!)
Leta was bullied by Gryffindors for being unloved (?!), which must have been wrenching to write. On one hand, the bullies are girls, so they're probably just jealous of her hairdo, or have hung out with each other too much and suffered a lack of Cool Girl Potion (transmitted by exposure to the Y chromosome); but then again, they’re Gryffindors picking on a Slytherin, so anything bad that the Slytherin concerned has or will do means they're retroactively justified.
Newt reveals further hipster privilege, his worst fear being working in an office; and he and Leta establish a friendship based around her telling him she doesn’t want to talk, and him then mansplaining Bowtruckles incessantly.
It’s also revealed that Leta had a brother who died, which Dumbledore checkmates by mentioning his dead sister.
Leta asked if he loved her, to which he answers ‘Not as well as I should have’, which is probably as emotionally revealing as he ever gets (Leta needs to watch her back from now on!)
Leta calls herself ‘wicked’, which means she may have hurt a dude or even dudes!
Depp, btw, is a revelation. Haters to the left, he exhibits all the skill demonstrated in his wide range of roles (kooky hat, wearing a wig, doing a shoddy accent.) He wears a coloured contact lens, people, even Tim Burton couldn’t get this level of performance out of him!
His hiring may have been controversial and damaged JKR’s credibility (WB and David Yates never had any to begin with) but I think we can safely say that the message sent to domestic abuse survivors and indeed, all women, was well worth it for his seven minutes onscreen delivering a slurred mutter!
It’s also hinted that he and Dumbles have a past, the sort you share with someone that gains your author lib cred, while never offending the Chinese market. Relationships are complex!
We then get some Lestrange backstory: Leta’s father raped his wife by way of the Imperius curse - the first recorded instance in the Potterverse of a dude needing to ply, force or manipulate a woman into being around him, and not the other way around.
However, a daughter was a disappointment to him, as the Lestranges view women as flowers on their family tree - ‘beautiful’ (thank god!) but ‘separate’.
I love that JKR’s politics and ethics always seem to stop as ‘really, really liberal - if you were born the same time as Louisa May Alcott.’
On one hand you have a society that’s supposedly more socially and technologically advanced than Muggles of the same era (The US can’t even elect a female president now, let alone 100 years ago!), but all the dilemmas seem based around Victorians - is it ethical to raid Egyptian tombs for British banks? Is it okay to have a slave if you really, really don’t feel like making a sandwich? How many women is it acceptable to use the Star Wars died-in-childbirth resolution for?
Leta’s father wanted a boy and never cared for her, but thankfully, while an unloving mother figure causes a literalised monster, an unloving dad not so much.
Papa Lestrange knew his stepson would be seeking revenge, so he hid his beloved son Sleeping Beauty style, sending him to an abuse wizard hater to protect him (someone’s being taken responsibility lessons from Dumbledore) with an accompanying Leta cause...idk. The nanny was out of town?
Leta reveals she, baby Corvus, nanny, Credence and his aunt (?? Obviously an aunt can’t be an influential figure in a child’s life, we don’t even know if her womb functions at all, but this reveal is skimmed over so fast it makes Theseus and Nagini look deep. Who is this woman? Credence spends the whole movie talking about finding his family, then conveniently ignores the one blood relation he may have had.) travelled to the US on a ship.
Her brother cries incessantly, so she decides to swap the babies, which are thankfully identical. I can buy in the fuss, you wouldn’t notice a difference, but it seems odd for a 7-8 year old to swap infants to stop one crying, when a) you’re in adjoining cabins, and the baby will be audible anywhere, b) why not just leave both babies?, and C) why isn’t the nanny caring for the baby (probs she’s not a blood relation and therefore would just as soon throw it in the river at any moment!)
Credence’s aunt contrivedly dies at some point between exiting the ship with the Lestranges, who make it onto a boat.
This is kind of similar to the deranged reveal in HBP that Snape sucks for specifically risking Harry, as opposed to any common or garden baby. We don’t really get a reaction to the idea that a baby would still have died in front of Leta, or that the death of Credence’s aunt, drowned trying to rescue what she thinks is her nephew, has any bearing on her guilt; it’s just ‘Ooops, I think my brother drowned, not some rando helpless infant.’
Newt reassures her she was only a child, which is the kind of sensible mindset that gets you sorted into Hufflepuff, I guess, but Leta Joss Whedons that she’s a monster. (I guess proving she’s a pussy Slytherin, they always seem to have these tearful reactions to torturing other human beings or causing permanent harm.)
Grindeldepp organises a rally in which Theseus tells the other Aurors to use minimum force as Grindeldepp has criticised them for being repressive fascists (accurately, tbh) so of course, some Auror kills a spectator for touching their own wand. I’m never really sure where JKR’s going with governmental criticism, tbh. Rules and authority are bad, but Hermione’s going to Prime Minister and Harry’s going to run the police? Spectators Lives Matter, but then again, they were at an Eeeeevil Rally in the first place, so swings and roundabouts?
Queenie decides she needs to join Grindeldepp because Love (I guess we should have seen her potential for darkness, considering how femme and draped in pink she is), while Leta redeems herself like any good Slytherin by leaving the narrative, telling both Scamanders she loves them (okay) although it’s very obvious that she’s not dead and will return in FB3: The Paddling of the Dead Horse - With Paddles!
Dumbles reveals he made a vow when Depp was Jamie Campbell Bower never to fight him (what kind of sissy ass promise is that for a self-respecting Gryffindor to make?!) but Newt’s Platypus creature stole a vial that somehow erases this promise, so there’s the possible hint that maybe three movies into the very necessary five, something may happen at some point!
PS. Credence is now a Dumbledore. The End!