goblet of fire recap
* Interesting choice to have the DADA lesson before the ferret bouncing. It certainly makes the Gryffindors more sympathetic than in the book, particularly as they’re all visibly scared and clutching their books.
*Brendan Gleeson is awesome, I love how he gets across the darkness of both Moody-by-reputation (after all, everyone bought him as the kind of guy who’d lash out at students, etc.) as well as this underlying nastier vibe. And while it’s been way too long for me to recall if the script is taken from the book in this part, it’s surprisingly strong (rare compliment for Kloves, there, turned out letting JKR write the scripts is actually worse, judging by ‘Fantastic Beasts’), in like, four sentences, you get across both that Moody doesn’t want to talk much (which fits in with Barty’s plan) and see how this guy is like the classic hero for this kind of warrior society: ‘Ministry malcontent. I'm here because Dumbledore asked me, end of story, goodbye, the end. Any questions? When it comes to the dark arts, I believe in a practical approach.’
* Hermione shows why she’s known as the brains of the operation when she notes that the Unforgiveables are named that because they’re unforgiveable. Moody explains that the use of one will result in Azkaban. Unless you use it on a spider. Or a Death Eater. Or if you just say the first two syllables. Or if you’re an Auror. It’s really not as black and white as it sounds!
*The scene with Moody demonstrating the unforgiveables on the spider is also great, you see how Moody easily manipulates the students he most wants to impress by setting himself up as the Cool teacher who thinks they’re ready to see what the MoM say they’re ‘too young’ for, but you also get the sense of his instability as he angrily throws chalk. It’s also interesting how he picks on characters like Ron, Draco, Parvati, Crabbe and Seamus, all of whom in the books at least can clash with Harry or at least, be portrayed as ‘less than’. His admiration of the ‘lethal’ spider also draws a neat parallel with Hagrid, another dangerous teacher who’s not afraid to encourage discord between students.
I also like how the characters are just as dumb and spiteful as the books (lol, what a backhanded compliment) - you see the Gryffindors and the Slytherins laughing at each other’s fear of the spider, despite the fact they’re all terrified. (Goyle to the rescue, also!)
* Mad Eye explains that many wizards and witches have claimed to be under the Imperius, but asks the class how to sort out the liars. According to the end of the movie, the solution is the surprisingly simple ‘The genuinely cursed ones are wearing clouded contact lenses.’ (To be fair, I believe in the book he mentioned something about being able to see it in someone’s eyes, although that probably wasn’t meant quite so literally.)
* Moody then exposits that Neville has ‘an aptitude for herbology’. He apparently achieved this off-screen and at some point since the CoS film, where he was passing out at the Mandrakes.
* The big talked-up scene of Neville reacting to the Cruciatus mainly appears to be him baring his teeth and looking slightly constipated; but I’ll be fair and say he’s really good both as he answers Moody’s question, when his eyelids flutter right after the Cruciatus, and as Moody says ‘…Um’ and moves towards Hermione. You can see him standing, back to the class, and he sort of exhales like he’s really shaken. Pretty impressive, especially when compared to the majority of this cast.
Also, Moody looks like he’s woken up when Hermione yells - a nice sign of his sadism.
* There’s also a decent shot of Harry looking up at Moody, who’s just performed the Avada; by which I mean the angle’s flattering. (As far as acting goes, he looks like they’re discussing the price of buns, not the curse that killed his parents.)
* Hermione wonders at the appropriateness of performing curses in a classroom especially since Neville got so upset, which, while making her nicer than her canon version; is quite the contrast to OOTP, in which Umbridge is evil for not performing curses in a classroom.
It’s cute to see the Gryffindors (Seamus, Dean, Harry, Ron and the Patils) congregating - it’s like they’re Neville’s friends!
* LOL @ the emo window-glass. The first time I saw it, I didn’t get that it was rain behind it (shut up!) and I thought Neville had made the stained monk cry with the power of his angst.
* This film has also got some nice background shots - you can see Neville quietly reading a book as the others squabble over entering the tournament; and how Cedric modestly has to be dragged over to submit his name. He’s also surrounded by boys hugging him, which iirc, was a nice treat for slashers (I think it’s more to show he’s popular, a bunch of girlfriends would distract from Cho. Plus he’s heroic, and therefore repelled by femininity in large doses.)
* I also like the Twins arguing after their plan to cheat the cup fails - they get on my nerves in canon, so seeing the affected class clown personas drop into actual aggression is cool.
* Never felt as much sympathy (or really, any) for Hermione as when she’s reading a book as all around her, moronic Gryffindors fight. Sadly they didn’t have time to give Krum a personality, so it does just come off like they think each other are hot, which is a perfectly acceptable RL reason to date, but as we know, in the JKRverse, you need to calculate exactly who you’re going to date even in middle-school in order to land your future spouse.
* The reactions of the Champions are adorable: you can see Draco, Crabbe and Goyle sitting with the Durmstrangers and cheering on Krum; all the Beauxbatons girls cheering Fleur, and Ernie MacMillan next to Cedric.
* When Harry’s name emerges, Hagrid shakes his head. Stupidly.
* Someone yells out ‘Cheat’ (ala CoS, where you can hear someone shout this after Draco starts on ‘two’.) Wasn’t everyone cheering for Fred and George trying to cheat? And don’t they cheer for Harry later, even though it’s not until the end that it comes out he didn’t put his name in? But really, this is just an excuse for Poor Harry.
* I love how much Michael Gambon’s yelling offended fandom as a whole. I didn’t really gaf, Dumbledore could wrap Harry in a basket of feathers and never speak in a tone louder than the ruffling of a petticoat; and I’d still think he was a dick.
* There’s a really odd shot here of Cedric, Snape, and Crouch standing together, glaring malevolently.
* Moody mentions Karkaroff being dodgy, to which Dumbledore retorts: ‘That doesn’t help, Alastor.’ Dumbledore doesn’t cast people’s pasts up at them. I guess because he has no need to use Karkaroff’s past as blackmail material presently.
* McGonagall proves herself a Good person (as well as Cool) by wondering why anyone would care about the rules or authority of anyone other than Dumbledore himself and spitting ‘Well the devil with Barty! And since when did you accommodate the Ministry?’
* McGonagall points out that Harry is a boy, not a piece of meat (fans interject with ‘Is that so?’. I fight the urge to dry heave.) Uh, everyone else in the tournament are people, too. They might have submitted themselves, but Jesus, Minerva, if you’re opposed to meaningless violence, you might be in the wrong series. And house.
(I guess if you’re worried about precious little lads risking their lives, you might not want to buy the next Chosen one expensive athletic equipment so he can compete in a game where he’s already broken an arm - and by HBP, fractured his skull.)
* Dumbledore rather tactlessly tells Moody to ‘keep an eye’ on Harry, but ‘don’t let him know, he’ll be anxious enough.’ WTF, so thinking no-one’s doing anything will be better? Still, Harry would be a brat about being watched, just as he is when he thinks he’s being ignored.
* Harry and Ron fight, and Ron tells Harry to piss off, winning my heart forever. (I’ll be fair and say the fight comes off way more conciliatory than the book on both sides, although the movie kind of naturally takes Harry’s side, as we know that in the book he was ‘dreaming’ of entering, whereas here I think we’re supposed to take his ’I don’t want eternal glory!’ as 100% sincere. Ron rolls his eyes at this - god, let’s just get married already, Ron! In all serious, they do at least throw Ron a bone here, as he’s clearly hurt that he thinks Harry went behind his back.
* There’s a random shot of Seamus and Dean shaking their heads in disgust. Stay out of it boys, Harry’s not easily impressed, you’ll have to offer him your sister plus a spare kidney if you want to be his friend this late in the game. (Luna and Neville barely make the grade, and they accompany him to break into the government, ffs.)
* I think I’m in love with Rita, despite her plot disappearing. Not only did they cast Miranda Richardson (Queenie from Blackadder, and she of the excellent Emma Watson impression!) but she’s an independent career-minded woman (who’s not described as ‘manly’, unlike in the book) who hits on all the champions? How did Rowling allow that one to slide?
Rita asks who’s up for sharing, and everyone’s silent - even Fleur, sitting passively as the boys stand around her. Sorry, Fleur, the books barely pass the Bechdel test; on-screen it is to laugh.
* Rita and her rack interview Harry in a cupboard, as she quips that he must feel right at home. <3 The quill doesn’t work onscreen at all, though.
* I love that Harry’s picture in the paper is posing happily. Especially since Krum in comparison does look like he hates having his photo taken.
* A terrifying monster vaguely resembling the terrifying monster Gary Oldman appears. Sirius, phoning it in, notes how heartless Crouch is - he sent his own son to Azkaban! Yeah…for being a Death-Eater, the guys you were bitching about being incurably evil.) But Sirius would know about rejecting family, I guess.
* Harry sits with Neville, who’s wading for herbology ingredients - they’re really using every available opportunity to establish Neville with his small screen-time here, would that they bothered with every character, but it is neat.
Ron, Hermione and the silent Ginny approach - you’d think a cute idea for a Ginny shot might be an interaction with Neville here, since they’re attending the Yule Ball together later, but I guess she was in the pod phase before transmogrifying into Ginny Sue for OotP, because she just flees. It’s cute how she’s dressed, though, she always looks appropriate to her age, finances and taste (the most endearing thing about the Weasleys for me is how bad their taste is.)
* Ron lets Harry know, via Hagrid, about the dragon task, despite the fact he and Harry are still tiffing and looks embarrassed over their fighting, unlike Harry who looks confused/genuinely pissed off. (You’d be a long time waiting for Harry to make-up!)
* I’ll be uncharacteristically nice and say Dan can be quite funny, and his disgust at Hagrid dating and even *gasp* combing his hair is nice.
* In a long tradition, Madame Maxime is a good love interest as she shares Hagrid’s interest in dragons. They don’t show Karkaroff finding out, but apparently he does, as god forbid Harry not be the underdog in every situation.
* Hagrid’s sure to include that ‘Ron nearly fainted’ at the dragons. (Ron and Draco are only allowed dignity for short intervals in both book and movie canon.)
* Speaking of Draco, the Potter Stinks badges appear to be a Hufflepuff invention in movie canon, with Ernie in particularly showing them off <3
* Harry selflessly warns Cedric about the dragons. Ship what you like, but of all the slash pairings, this one’d be so bland imo, like these two would have a noble-off, ‘you come first’, Cedric stubbornly insisted…)
* Aw, Ron and Seamus are actually having a conversation! Mainly about ‘blowing stuff up’ and how ‘Fleur is pretty fascinating.’ Harry approaches, warning Ron ‘Stay away from me!’, even though he’s the one being ignored. Way to keep your dignity, man!
* I’ve said all I can on the ferret scene, but I will note that McGonagall looks genuinely pissed off, and holds Moody at wand-point, which is far preferable to her ‘weak’ objection in canon.
Oh, and Moody’s line about Draco’s hair being greasy seems to be several films out of date. The GoF wig looks fluffy (and cheap!) These dirty Slytherins. It’s all the evil clogging their follicles! (Bet the writers are glad they had no room for Snape’s ‘I see no difference’ - a shame, it’s one of the few Snape lines I’d be happy to see Rickman do. Can’t really pull off the Righteous Indignation of the Trio over a teacher pettily insulting a student’s appearance when Harry’s chuckling over this, though.)
And as Vernon would tell us, ‘You’ve no need to tell us he’s no good, look at his hair!’
* I like Moody’s ‘Wouldn't even bother telling you what's in there. You wouldn't believe it if I did’ when his trunk emits a noise.
* He asks Harry: ‘What are you going to do about your dragon?’ No touching on the cheating here. I guess at least we’re saved the inexplicable self-righteousness in the book. (I didn’t cheat! Hagrid did for me!)
* Moody reminds Harry of what an underdog he is, which of course is the best tactic for winning his trust; reminding him ‘Your pal Diggory, by your age he could take a whistle into a watch and have it sing you the time.’ O Rly? Was he defeating Dark Lords as an infant?
* ‘As for Miss Delacour, she's as much a fairy princess as I am.’ Great line. Perhaps someone added it while Kloves was on bathroom break, since it has no relation to any on-screen characterisation, however - Fleur does literally nothing in this film.
* ‘As for Krum, his head may be filled with sawdust but Karkaroff's is NOT.’ God, I hope that crafty Karkaroff hasn’t resorted to cheating, that would be totally unworthy of the competition.
*Moody sighs at having to deal with the ever-stupid Harry in order to help Voldie (I think tbh, this is easily as brave as cutting off your hand), prompting him: ‘What are your strengths?’
* Harry replies: ‘Um... I dunno.. I can fly.’ I'm a fair flyer. As if Harry would ever refer to himself as merely ‘fair’.
Although this gives us an opportunity to note his modesty AND have Moody compliment him as he inevitably interjects ‘Better than fair the way I heard it!’
Harry notes that he isn’t allowed a broom, but Moody points out he’s allowed a wand. Am I missing something about the rules here? You’re not allowed a broom, unless you summon it with a wand, which you’re allowed, even though you could pretty much just Avada the dragon, or Accio the egg? When did Harry even find out he couldn’t bring his broom?
* The morning of the Tournament. Madam Maxime has some 90s blue hair mascara, while, subtly, Rita is wearing a hairband in the shape of devil horns.
* Harry and Hermione hug, which Rita captures for the front page (wow, and people criticise this series world building? This makes Fox News and the Daily Mail look relevant.)
* Rita then strokes Krum’s face with her quill, as Fleur smirks.
* Dumbles then kicks out Hermione from the tent - LOL, especially since Rita is right there. Is she allowed or what?
* ZOMG, Harry’s gotten the nastiest dragon, the Horntail - he’s a huge victim and much braver for defeating the worst!
* Rita grabs Cedric at the cannon, as Cedric looks genuinely nervous.
* No one but Harry’s tasks are shown, but we can presume that Fleur squealed in horror (just kidding, that would give her a line.)
* Cute colour coding, all the Gryffindors are in green (idk why), while Ginny’s in a blaring red. There’s also a shot of Cho looking horrified, and Ron and Neville also worried. The Twins grin: ‘Well done dragon!’ and Karkaroff laughs. Also you see the signs are a lot less negative than in the book, there’s ‘Fleur Notre’ and ones for Cedric, but no hissing or booing other contestants.
* Hermione tells Harry to get wand. Jesus, does she tell him to wipe his butt when he goes to the loo? (Apparently wizards don’t have to! So glad JKR shared that with us.)
* In a shot mimicking his reaction in PS, Draco sinks his head into his hands as Harry inevitably wins. Crabbe and Goyle look like mobsters, but I’m liking it, and the Slytherin fashion - you’ve got your Russian fur hat, leather gloves…
* Inexplicably, Harry has apparently won, even though we didn’t see anyone else compete, he left the arena, he broke the school, and two of the judges would be rooting against him (are there even other judges in the movie? Dumbledore mentions them in the plural, but knowing him, he just had McGonagall and Hagrid do it, or gave himself a separate vote for each of the Important Positions he holds).
* There’s a cut to Harry clutching the egg and being lifted on the Twins shoulders to the applause of the common room, as he asks them ‘Who wants to see me open it?’
Several people ranted at the time about how OOC this is, since Harry is shy and modest and hates attention. I don't know, he seemed to enjoy the semi-party they had in CoS after he and Ron stole the car. And in the hospital wing after he won his Quidditch game. And the one they had in GoF the book after he got into the Tournament. And the one in PoA after they won the Quidditch Cup. And the one in OotP after his Quibbler interview. And the huge cheers he recieves from ¾ of the school at every Quidditch match. And making with Ginny in front of the world. He pretty much just doesn’t like negative attention, or gushing
* He and Ron make up, and Ron says he was ‘distraught’, which is an emotional admission braver than any in the books, tbh. Go Ron! Ginny and Hermione sigh and eyeroll over the boys, but we know they’re secretly turned on by emotional constipation and tantrums respectively.
* I did like Harry’s spit take, and Cho’s ‘shh!’ to her friends, and her friendly, pitying smile.
* Rita’s article is out, calling: ‘Miss Granger a plain but ambitious girl.’ Watch Ron raise his eyebrow and smirk. Of course, this wouldn’t be so bitchy if it weren’t for the fact that Hermione is the prettiest of them all! She’s also implied to be ‘…developing a taste for famous wizards.’ Hey! Hermione also pursues guys for the amount they’ll make Ron jealous!
(What she sees in Ron himself remains unclear.)
‘Her latest prey sources report is none other than the Bulgarian bon-bon Viktor Krum.’
Rita’s sort of the meta-voice for the series (every girl is a ‘scarlet woman’ judged on her looks, who preys on innocent men and loathes other women) although I love her objectifying Krum into a bon-bon.
* Rita’s article finishes by mentioning that there’s ‘No word yet on how Harry Potter's taking this latest emotional blow. ’
Harry looks totally unruffled at these lies and the insult to his bf Hermione, but then, we have to make this a chickfight. (I’m a woman, I know what we’re like!) Plus, he’s not being insulted himself.
* Ron appears to have adopted a manservant. Paying him, naturally, with Harry’s autograph, in case anyone mistakenly thought that Ron could possibly be valued for any other reason than having viable organs.
* Ron gets his hideous robes, which he thinks are for Ginny. Ginny tells Ron she’s not wearing those ‘ghastly’ robes. So with less notice and there only being one girl in the family, it was no problem for the Weasleys to afford Ginny’s robes, and apparently first-hand?
* The Gryffindors attend dance lessons. Cute idea for a scene, tbh, cliché but it’s nice to break away from the bible that is canon. Filch and Mrs. Norris are crowbarred in. (I’m not complaining, I love them.) Naturally, blah blah gendercakes, the boys hate dancing, the girls are thrilled. McGonagall exposits that the ‘house of Godric Gryffindor has commanded the respect of the wizarding world for centuries’ (‘Respect me or I’ll gut you!’) and McGonagall will not have them ‘besmirch…that name’ by idk, dancing the Macarena instead of the boxstep.
(She will, however, reward that house points for being absolutely dickholes.)
* There’s some hawt Ron/McGonagall action after Ron and Seamus giggle over some poor girl with spots (sadly, this is still actually nicer than the book, from what I recall,) prompting her to force him up as a demonstration.
* The Twins laugh, as Harry reminds them to pick on Ron for this forever. Because they’re all staunch feminists who’d never mock a girl’s looks.
* Neville’s shown practicing on his own time. Aw! (Of course, it will do him no good, since girls only love guys who ignore them.)
* Harry approaches Cho, standing in the middle of a group of Ravenclaw girls. They look frankly disgusted; winning my heart.
* There’s also some Hufflepuff girls dancing together (wait for a JKR tweet in a year claiming this as proud LGBT representation.)
* Ron reminds Harry that as he’s ‘slayed dragons’ (WTF? The dragon died? And we spent the whole of the last movie hearing about the evils of harming magical animals just because they attack humans? This just makes me hate POA more than ever!), asking girls out should be easier. Harry notes that he’d ‘rather have the dragon.’ Vaginas have teeth!
* Hagrid and Madame Maxime waste screentime, as he tells her his mother was ‘not the maternal sort’. Thank god she wasn’t human! They might as well have given her a black hat from birth. They share a bug from Hagrid’s beard (I totally missed the bug, and I thought she was licking her fingers seductively, grim.) In a perfect meta scene, he says ‘Enough of me, what about you?’ and the scene ends.
* Krum is surrounded by giggling fangirls, but naturally prefers the only girl who appears disinterested. God, when girls learn that the most attractive thing is the façade of a Victorian nun who’s only interest in sex is revealed to be as a weapon or a tool for babies?
* Ron mocks Neville by saying he’s ‘really depressed’ that even Neville has a date. Maybe this is just sour grapes, and he was planning Neville as his own back-up? (My favourite thing about this film’s promotion is how they interviewed Rupert Grint about this sub-plot, and he basically describes it as ‘Hermione’s going to the dance with the guy Ron likes,’ like there was no possibly heterosexual interpretation for him. God bless. )
* The Twins, confident in the knowledge that like every Gryffindor, they’ll get dates far above what would be realistic for their looks and personalities; remind Ron to ask out a girl before the ‘good ones’ are taken.
Angelina, a walking example of my point (I’m sure they’re really nice and all, but those boys are BUSTED, whereas Angelina is stunning) smiles, like how could she resist? (I suppose pickings are slim, to be fair.)
* Snape smacks Harry and Ron in detention, and you can see Draco laughing in the background - cute!
* Ron notes that a boy not getting a date is fine, but for a girl to go alone, ‘it’s just sad’. Man, I hope Ron gets punished for all these sexist remarks while the text underlines his basic attitude!
* Harry asks Cho out, but she refuses. She’s practically apologising for her gall - she’s nicer than Harry was when her boyfriend died. Still, it’s not enough. I really hope Harry gets some sort of revenge on Cho for being tasteless enough to pick someone over him. Like if the guy she picked died (picked the losing side, indeed!), then she throws herself at him? Then he dumps her? That’d be sweet.
* Ron enters, with assorted girls leading him. ZOMG! Are these Ginny’s friends? Other girls?! Say it isn’t so!
Ginny sympathetically strokes Ron’s arm and reassures him that ‘it doesn’t matter.’ She apparently witnessed Ron’s attempt at asking Fleur to the ball, as she points out, without a smirk, that Ron ‘sort of shouted’ at Fleur, and it was ‘a bit frightening.’ (Fanon file under future wife-beater! Also remember that in OOTP, Ginny wouldn’t be frightened by a nuclear bomb, let alone her brother.)
I shall fanwank that Ginny now resents Fleur for being snotty to her brother, rather than because Ginny’s a toxic mega-cunt, as canon will prove. And frankly, I’m beginning to wonder why Ginny and Ron don’t go to the ball together. They have as much chemistry as any other pairing, and it would further the Weasley genes, as is only right and proper.
* Hermione looking shocked (‘I thought the tactic of smug aggression was working so well!’) notes that Fleur will have said ‘No, of course!’ I guess she was supposed to seem worried here, but she does come off as Ron’s mirror, as they’re both smugly sure that the other will never get anyone else. That’s how you know they’re MFEO!
* Ron elaborates beyond the amount of detail I’m personally comfortable with, which is any when it’s about Ron and any hint of sexuality, noting how much he likes the Beauxbatons girls asses when they’re walking.
Harry kind of nods, like he’s either thinking ‘Move on, sicko’ or else trying to be straight. ‘Oh….yes, of course, when they walk! Because you can…see their hair? And admire their ribbons?’
*The Patils interject with ‘Hi Harry’. The man himself looks kind of annoyed momentarily, because when you’ve been complaining about how no girls like you, the last thing you want is girls acting like they like you. (Which of course, is canon, except it’s Harry noting how everyone prefers Cedric, then turning down every girl who dares approach his shiny Chosen self.)
* The night of the Ball, and Ron’s in his robes, which besides being ugly, also smell. (Why so subtle? Surely they’re also coated in slime and dogshit?) Ron suggests the ‘poor kid’ is ‘alone in her room, crying her eyes out.’ To which Harry wonders ‘Who?’
Geez, what a joy, patronising faux pity or genuine indifference. Ship Trio! This fight is totally worth it, either Harry/Hermione or Ron/Hermione would be PERFECT SOULMATES forever and ever.
* They discuss how if Hermione told them she had a date ‘we'd take the mickey out of her if she did.’ Um, when do Harry and Ron mock Hermione? Hermione and Harry mock Ron, sure, but they themselves are like walking, talking embodiments of ‘can dish it out, but can’t take it’. The only person allowed to mock Harry is Harry, and then only in a bad-ass self-deprecating way.
* Cho and Fleur shake hands - I don’t need much for a ship to set sail, these two shall now be my OTP.
* I loved all the furore about the dress being blue in canon, not pink. It’s minor, but those kind of details really are important in the Rowlingverse. Of course Hermione wouldn’t wear a silly, feminine colour like pink! When she wears blue, she shows she’s almost as good as a man!
* Padma asks in shock ‘Is that Hermione Granger?’ to which Ron says ‘Absolutely not.’ Are Ron and Padma short-sighted? HER HAIR IS UP. God, it’s like Clark Kent. Ironically, Emma Watson looked far prettier in her school clothes with her hair down. Anyway, both Patils comment on how hawt she is, so they can just join Cho, Fleur and Rita in the femslash arena (I feel like you can check this post in a decade, and JKR will still be hemming on *gasp* gay women.)
* Draco’s glaring at Harry dancing with a girl (aw), then Goyle glares and crosses arms. Mmm…Goyle. Meanwhile, Moody drinks, Karakaroff dances with a random straight bait, and Filch dances with Mrs. Norris.
* You can also see Draco dancing with Pansy, Krum and Crabbe hanging out (aw!), and Ginny dancing with girls.
* Harry comments on Hermione and Krum: ‘I don’t think it’s the books that had him going to the library.’ Which seems a bit of a knowing line for a guy who’s still disgusted at the idea of dating at all, but fits in nicely with Harry’s role as Hermione’s GBF. You go get some, girlfriend!
* Hermione indignantly reminds Ron that the point of the Tournament was to make friends. That’s why she and Ginny were so thrilled to see the Beauxbaton girls entrance! They just couldn’t wait to create new bonds.
* Ron sneers that Krum has ‘more than friendship on his mind’ which outrages Hermione. (Um, doesn’t he? I mean, he asked her to a dance and kissed her hand. It’s not a hot sex invitation but I don’t think it’s shocking to suggest that they’re not platonic playmates.)
Harry loyally gives Ron a look. (YOU CAD!)
* To recap Ron and Hermione’s tedious argument, he tells her that Krum (is) ‘using you.’ (For sexy hand kissing action! What every famous sports star is willing to put in time for. Unless he and his aide are gonna spit roast Hermione, and Ron’s just too polite to say so. Frankly, Ron was always a little too into outraging himself fantasising about Krum. If he just volunteered to take Hermione’s place, his chivalry could have gotten him the girl a lot faster!)
She snaps that she ‘can take care of (her)self.’ Ron doubts this, and tells Hermione Viktor is ‘way too old’ to which Hermione squeals ‘WHAT, that’s what you think?!’
That’s what annoyed you? Really? Not the jibes about a girl alone being pathetic, or the implication that Hermione is incapable of taking care of herself, or the criticising of Viktor’s personality - I guess not, since pretty much the only references Hermione ever makes to Viktor herself in the film are negative - but the idea that an eighteen year old globetrotting celebrity is too old for a fourteen year old schoolgirl who’s never dated anyone before?
* Hermione goes on to snap that ‘Next time there's a ball, pluck up the courage and ask me before somebody else does!’ (Yay courage! To quote DTCL, how do people tie their shoes without that quintessential courage? I guess Hermione could have just have found the courage to ask him, but no, there’s the passive ‘Come pick me like fruit or I’ll be helplessly snagged by another boy!’ necessary for all male/female relationships.) ‘And not as a last resort!’ (Especially since there’s no ‘looking for the prettiest girl’. He doesn’t even ask out Fleur ‘til the last minute.)
* Hermione tells them: ‘Never mind! Off to bed both of you.’ When you wash your friend’s underwear, you do sometimes get the benefits of being Mommy.
* Hermione squeals ‘Ron, you’ve spoiled everything!’ The night? Our friendship? MY LIFE?
Krum appears to have disappeared now Hermione has no further use for him. (Perhaps she’ll storm back into the hall and kiss him angrily in revenge, and that will be the ever-so-romantic story of how she became adult and worthy.)
I’ll be fair and say Hermione’s crying scene here is a big improvement on the cheesier ones in PoA and CoS, not so much through any honing of Watson’s skills, but just because those ones sucked. Especially since she takes her dancing shoes off, and in the grand tradition of school discoes, there are other girls also crying.
* Neville enters, shoes around his neck, humming and bragging that he just got in. In case we had an inkling of respect for him, he reminds us how shocking it is that he had fun. Michael Corner doesn’t seem to exist in film canon, so I’m pretty sure he and Ginny were setting up for DH. Yup, ‘send Neville our love’, alright.
* Harry and Hermione pose on the bridge - it’s hard to get across Harry’s procrastination, really, with limited time available. Hermione notes that Krum is a ‘physical being’. Harry smirks like ‘I bet.’ Imagine Krum, all silent and surly, throwing you to the ground with those Quidditch toned muscles and… Well, back to helping my BFF!
* Hermione clarifies: ‘I just mean he's not particularly loquacious… Mostly he watches me study. It's a bit annoying actually.’
Apparently said annoyance isn’t obvious to Krum, who will view Hermione as the thing he’ll miss most.
* Hermione points out: ‘You got by the dragon mostly on nerve, I'm not sure it's going to be enough this time.’
Bite your tongue! Nerve is ALWAYS enough.
* Myrtle pervily checks out a surprisingly buff Harry. I like her remark about the ‘other boy’, though, it reminded me of HBP.
* Myrtle compliments Harry, telling him ‘Very good. Took Cedric ages to riddle it out. Almost all the bubbles were gone…’
(Why does it take ages for Cedric to work out? Fake!Moody told him, didn’t he? Cedric’s stupider than… Harry? Oh, surely not!) Cedric’s quite the whore, with Hermione, Ginny, Myrtle, Voldemort and Cho macking on him.
* Hermione and Harry discuss the second task, as Harry bitches: ‘When was the last time you held your breath under the water for an hour Hermione?’
In PoA she probably could have, and won the Olympics to boot, but this is GoF and Cuaron is off to sign petitions for paedophiles. Sorry!
* Harry tells Neville, who’s cutely babbling about Herbology: ‘No offense, but I really don't care about plants.’
Neville gives him a wounded look. Lucky Moody was relying on Neville’s pathetic desire to impress the in-crowd rather than Harry’s people skills.
* Ginny, passing the Twins, who are taking bets on the outcome of the task, snaps ‘Don’t be so mean.’
I actually hated this the first time I saw it (it reminded me of that awful bit in CoS where she ‘threateningly’ glares at Malfoy, like an angry kitten.) since I thought the Twins were taking bets on Harry dying and she was doing her Righteous Defense of him, but actually they’re offering bets on which champions are gonna come up, so now I like it. It’s like the QWC from the book where she winces at the blood - a nice show that GoF!Ginny still has a respect for human life.
Plus it’s quite funny, since the Twins miss no more than a beat before ignoring her and continuing to yell for bets. No1curr.
* Harry angrily tells off Neville, who suggests gillyweed: ‘You're telling me this now? You must be joking.’ Poor Harry. People don’t help him cheat with sufficient haste!
Neville humbly reminds Harry he just wanted to help, which Harry ignores; bitching about how Ron and Hermione don’t, since they’re not yet present. I know they were up in the small hours researching for a tournament they’re not in, but if those fuckers haven’t marked this into their calendar and set their alarm, then there’ll be hell to pay! My cheering section looks totally empty.
Neville, still failing to take the hint, tactfully notes that Harry seems a ‘little tense’, prompting a sarcastic ‘Do I?’ from Harry.
* Harry falling in gracelessly while the others dive is a nice touch.
* Any significance to Neville viewing Harry as ‘Harry Potter’ the celebrity he’s ‘killed’, as opposed to an actual friend?
* Fleur’s knocked out within seconds. I guess she must have menstruated in the lake. Or maybe her breasts were too buoyant. Besides which, whoever heard of a girl rescuing a girl? Men must rescue women! Or their true interest, other men.
(Seriously, I know that Harry has to be the best, and obviously Cedric coming from good old-fashioned British Hogwarts stock must be second, and I guess Krum has to be good enough so he’s worthy of being Hermione’s almost-ran, and Fleur may not even play Quidditch which shows innate greatness, but damn, Fleur gets to do literally fuck all. At least her vagina gets put to future use furthering Weasley Domination.)
* Harry swims down to the dummies of the main cast, which are at least less scary than the tiny-handed Draco from PoA and feels Ron’s face (I guess this is the indication we get that he’s his favourite, this is never really explained onscreen.)
So, not knowing that the others will be alright, does Harry just think that Cedric and Krum are really awful people, then?
* I love the Krum shark, especially as iirc, they made an adorable Lego version of it.
* Aw, all the Beauxbatons girls look worried and are comforting Fleur. Once more, sisterhood snuck past the radar!
* Draco’s disappointed (as I am) at Harry’s win, and clips the ear of Ron’s annoying man-servant. Good.
* A shivering Hermione gives Harry her own towel, showing she has her priorities straight, as she tells him ‘Personally I think you behaved admirably.’ Harry points out that he finished last. Harry’s so admirable he doesn’t even recognise his own moral fibre!
* Hermione points out Harry wasn’t the worst, since Fleur didn’t get past ‘ze grindylows’. It’s cool how, even though Fleur has about two lines and never proves herself evil by not liking Hogwarts and English food above her own school and country’s cuisine, and thinking Harry is a little boy when he’s a manly mature 14; still Hermione dislikes her. You can’t excise Hermione’s bitchiness from the script like you did Fleur’s personality!
* Dumbledore says: ‘The way I see it, Mr Potter would have finished first…’ Um, really? Sounds like an awfully big assumption. What if another Grindylow had turned up?
* He then explains that Harry was slowed by his ‘determination to rescue not only Mr Weasley but the others as well’ (the others being…Gabrielle. No plural. Still, take that, Cedric and Krum! Harry was totally willing to pick up your slack!) and jubilantly announces that he’s been awarded second place, for ‘outstanding moral fibre’.
Aw, Dumbledore’s still fixing contests. Except in the book, wasn’t it tied first? What did Rowling say about this? (And how lame is it that the closest Harry ever comes to losing anything is tied first place or else falling into unconsciousness. At which point the winner has to apologise.) Not to mention, rly? Everyone agreed? Or was this like when Albus persuaded Kreacher or Flamel or Slughorn?
Anyway, clearly everyone else in the tournament would have let their whole families die to win points, and Harry deserves to be awarded for misunderstanding (although in the book he’s also late, yeah? Whereas here, he’s on time.) whereas other people misunderstanding or not listening really just need slicing up
* Ron has a nice meta line here: ‘Blimey, even when you go wrong, it turns out right.’
While the Twins seem particularly proud of Harry’s moral fibre, although to be fair, they probably have no idea what this means.
* Barty Crouch Sr. was ‘never whole again after losing his family, but his wife is never mentioned, like Mrs. Diggory or Mrs. Longbottom who became an Auror suddenly in OotP.
* They also don’t go into the Imperius, so I guess Movie!Barty loses out twice, for being cold-hearted in the first place, and then too weak in the second.
* Ron gets the worst line of the movie as he says that they’re ‘still misfits’, despite going to the ball with a celebrity and the prettiest girls in their year respectively (and as a last resort!) and despite Harry coming out ahead as well as being Quidditch champion, and of course, Hermione being the Stephen Hawking of the Wizarding World. Basically, when they’re popular, it’s because of their innate worth; but when they’re misfits, it’s heart-rending and sympathetic.
Hagrid notes ‘Harry’s the youngest champion ever’ (I thought they had only recently changed the rules in the book to ban younger students? Still, ZOMG, Harry is even more special than he already was!)
* A dead Crouch Sr. is discovered, to no reaction (Harry even changes his jacket between discovering the corpse and discussing it with Dumbledore, reminding me of that Buffy episode where they find Tara’s body and the next scene has Buffy’s curled hair, like she just leaned over the body to get her look on.)
* Since there’s no giant plotline in the movie; instead of a heavy-handed reveal of Fudge as Teh Prejudiced, there’s an argument between him and Dumbledore over cancelling the Triwizard Tournament. Dumbledore insists that Fudge take action after a man’s death. Fudge points out that the wizarding world looks to its leaders to strength. Dumbledore diplomatically suggests that ‘for once, show some’. Fudge then lays it down: no cancelling the tournament, as he doesn’t want to be seen a coward.
Dumbledore argues ‘But surely that is what's right, no matter what others think’. I’m beginning to see the point of the people complaining about Dumbledore’s characterisation in the films. As if a Gryffindor would ever suggest you ignore being called a coward! Let alone suggest cancelling a competition. How would the other houses and countries know that they were inferior?
* Continuing Steve Kloves’ noble quest to make Harry even more sanctified than he is in the books, rather than him spying, he just magically happens upon the Pensieve.
* Crouch doesn’t seem crueller than anyone else. (They are, after all, all keeping Karkaroff in a literal barbed cage.) Of course, in the book he sounds just like the DA. (You can tell the narrative voice kind of warms to a torturing hardass over a soft weakling like Fudge, too.)
And here, he’s not hardening his heart against a pleading son, he’s just sort of shocked at his crazy son’s scenery chewing.
* Moody is less bitter, more inappropriately cheerful, but the conclusion is the same - even then, he was unstable. I like that it’s Moody that zaps Crouch Jr., giving them a connection. Barty Sr. does a good shocked/crushed face. (Trigger made a face!)
* Crouch Jr. pulls a Draco: ‘Take your filthy hands off me, you pathetic little men!’ and calls for his ‘faaaaather’.
* Dumbledore sounds way more sympathetic to Crouch than the book. ‘He had no choice, it destroyed him.’
* Snape and Karkaroff are having an assignation in Potions cupboard, before Snape accusing Harry of stealing ingredients. Harry really is innocent here, since the movies never had the scene in COS where they set off the firecrackers, and presumably Neville has his own gillieweed. Yet I just can’t seem to care. (I know my sympathies should be with Harry here, of course, especially after he got so harshly punished in canon for the Sectumsempra, I’m a monster.)
* Cute, the Beauxbatons girls are teaching Roger their cheer for Fleur, while Draco is cheering Krum. He ain’t rooting for Cedric to make it a Hogwarts victory without Potter!
* Gabrielle looks adoringly at big sister Fleur and Madame Maxime while Karkaroff slowly strokes Krum’s back (mentor/mentee relationships everywhere!) Afaik, this is the last we see of him. Hopefully like Movie!Crouch, he too is alive and flourishing somewhere.
Amos proudly holds up Cedric’s hand to the crowd, Cedric looking annoyed cause he’s modest. Amos is so cute, he looks like a Womble!
* Dumbledore warns of how the maze can ‘change you’, presumably due to the competition corrupting (I bet JK hated this line. Competition sorts the elite from the non-elite!) Fleur doesn’t change, but then, as a female, she had the least amount of personality to begin with, and should know better than to enter competitions in the first place, unless they’re amongst women over important issues like who gets to wash the men’s pants and bring them their breakfast.
* Moody makes his last attempt at fixing the game, and points the way to Harry, who smirks. Not that he cares about winning. Dumbledore looks a bit suspicious - is Moody horning in on his territory as the favourer?
* There’s a creepy almost-rape scene with Fleur and an Imperiused Krum - seriously, it’s horrible. He’s panting and crouched over her, and she’s lying down, dazed. She’s eaten by the hedges and Harry has to save her. Again. Oh, well. That’s what happens when you let chicks compete.
* Love the competition for the cup between Harry and Cedric. (Although, really, what would have happened? I mean, did you actually think Fleur was going to DIE? In which case, maybe you should have done more than sort of squawk impotently, send for help, then pressed on.) Cedric says ironically ‘Some game!’ but if you’re a wizard, you’re probably one game of snap away from murdering everyone you know.
* Cedric says ‘You saved me, we’ll take it. Together.’ (So Harry looks even nicer without having to list what Cedric did to help him.)
* Ooof, Dan’s not great at ‘pain’, or even ‘sadness’ (as we learned from ‘HE WUZ THEIR FRIEND!11) Voldie sasses his frenemy Lucius (your classic dumb blonde, he takes off his Death Eater mask before role call), pets Wormtail (but tells him off for returning ‘out of fear, not loyalty’ - even the non-Gryffindors are obsessed with cowardice.) and calls Harry a ‘handsome boy’ (so I guess there was a precursor to the awkward hug in DH….?)
* Voldemort notes that Harry is ‘almost as famous as me’. Anyone else picture Ginny bat bogeying him, bellowing: ‘leave him alone, he didn’t want all that!’
* Voldemort orders a Death Eater to ‘give (Harry) back his wand.’ Even Voldemort goes to huge efforts to give Harry the advantage.
* Voldie generally chews scenery - I kind of think of it as Ralph Fiennes being a nice guy. He could see Dan was in trouble, so he stepped in and averted the attention to himself. Selfless.
* Lucius motions to save Voldie. Aw!
* Seeing Harry’s parents is curiously unaffecting. Maybe because we’re now aware they spend DH cheering on Harry to suicide.
* The scene where Harry returns is great, with the triumphant musical score, and Amos and Arthur hugging (you can see Draco behind them get up to go, presumably in disgust.)
* Fleur screams at Cedric’s body. Because she’s a girl, I guess. (I guess you could give the benefit of the doubt here and say that maybe she and Cedric got along.)
* Dan’s crying is better than PoA - the direction really helps, they pulls out to a long shot, and Amos’ reaction balances it out. (I liked the book where we don’t see his immediate reaction, but it works here - it’s less insular ZOMG HARRY’S PAIN IS THE ONLY PAIN.) I noticed in HBP, they also used this shot, and had blocking which shielded Harry’s face from view, so they’re at least addressing their actors flaws.
* Fudge is AWFUL. See how he tells everyone to stay where they are, and wants the body concealed from hundreds of hysterical spectators? That’s the last thing you do after a murder! Pussy.
* Weirdly, you can see the twins following Moody and Harry. Odd blocking? OR WERE THEY IN ON IT ALL ALONG?!
* Harry outwitted Crouch Jr. with the old ‘I never said anything about a bet!’ (TM Not Another Teen Movie.)? I think not. Still a reason to tell whereas Crouch Jr. didn’t have one in the book.
* Moody does a mocking impressions of Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane is pretty easy, but still!) and makes fun of Cedric, Harry, and Neville. Approved! I want to see fics for all of these encounters.
* Moody also says Harry won ‘Because I made it so’ (noooooooo what of Harry’s heroism?! Plus, they cut all the ‘Decent people are so easy to manipulate’, which is good, because so far I’m thinking only Neville comes out okay, and his decentness is half being a wuss.)
* The real Moody, held in a chest, shows his priorities are right by immediately apologising to Albus.
* Crouch Jr.’s ‘I’ll show you mine’ line about his Dark Mark - I thought he was talking to Snape. Is Harry’s arm supposed to mean something? (I know Peter bled him, obviously.) Why is Dumbledore showing Harry’s arm off like a dope tatt?
* Heh, I kind of love the alternate canon that Crouch Jr. is still alive (and welcomed back like a hero to Azkaban!) It’s anti-climactic, but then so’s the book (We just gave Barty the Kiss! Off screen!) but this way leaves a door open should some interprid ficcer want to take up.
* Dumbledore ironically comments ‘I never had much time for heroes.’ I guess he really does hate Harry.
* Barty wiggles his tongue and checks out Snape. Like I said, slim pickings.
* The memorial scene is much preferable to the book - there’s no tasteless ‘What will happen to the gold? A glass to Harry Potter!’ crap, and Dumbledore losing his silver tongue to refer to it as a ‘…really terrible’ event is nice.
* The reactions at the remembrance service are good: you can see Gabrielle sweetly leaning on Fleur, Neville’s bowed head, Parvati sitting with the Durmstrang boy from the dance (people are even breaking the house system!) as well as Draco near Krum (and looking sort of quiet/sad, interestingly. But I’d say it works - the Slytherins all lift their glasses to Cedric in the book, after all, and I never got the sense Draco or any of them were happy about the death as much as freaked out about Voldemort’s return.), although it have been nice to have a shot of Cho and/or any of the Hufflepuffs, here.
* Less nice is Dumbledore’s bellowing about the ministry. Like, it’s mildly sad that Cedric’s dead, but more importantly THE MINISTRY ISN’T LISTENING TO ALBUS. Geez, if you wanted to be Minister, maybe you should have just applied? (I realise by even suggesting something as commie pinko as jobs being something you apply for, or get democratically elected into; I’ve let myself down.)
* However, the ‘hearts as one’ line is better than the book implication: ‘share my aims and I’ll forgive you talking funny.’ Dumbledore blathers on about how ‘kind and honest’ Cedric was, like he ever spoke to anyone outside of Harry.
* Viktor asks Hermione to write to him, as Angelina cuddles her - get in line for sister-in-law duties!
* Kidding aside, I really, really like the goodbye scene. It just gives off this great sense that everyone’s content despite the death because they really have made new bonds, whereas the book never really sold me on said bonds. Fleur and Gabrielle wishing Ron goodbye rather than Harry is much preferable, particularly knowing they’re eventually family. We see Roger saying goodbye to Fleur, as Seamus chats to the Beauxbatons girls, and Draco hugs Poliakoff (Karkaroff’s aide). It doesn’t hurt to skip the gross ‘threatening the Dursleys’ end, too.
* We finish on Ron wishing for a ‘quiet’ year at Hogwarts, like, wild, someone died. There’s some hamfisted trailer line about ‘everything’s going to change’, before we pan out to Hermione asking the boys to write, as Ron refuses and Harry’s sarcastic.