(no subject)
Excuse me while I get into the foetal position and weep. This is not shaping up to the bestest of weeks as I had hoped. I wish I lived alone again. Preferably in a mountain beside a stream and with good wifi.
The stress that is just getting thrown at me is just getting me a bit on the dangerous side of my psyche. Ah I don't like getting put back here. Even for a couple of hours. It gets hard to function and I am getting pushed to exploding which could mean I am going to inflict some sort of harm on someone or something. Which naturally I do not want at all. But I have to keep it in or just do some real intensive gaming in the hope that it just goes.
I really wish I could call my mate G man. He just gets me or at least pretends to and that is all I really want is someone to reassure me but I can't really rely on him anymore. In the past I could but now it is both very very selfish and it puts him in a bad position because of his girlfriend who is a bit possessive especially as everyone knows I used to love him in a romantic way. I don't now but even wanting to feel reliant on him as a mate is enough for her to get insecure which causes problems for him and I don't know. I wish I could just not exist for a couple of hours.
Ok. I'm going to stop the pity party here. And try to write about something else.This month I am going to try and do nanowrimo. I have plans to finish reanimation two or three chapters left I think. Then start a fic where Rimmer decides to revive Howard and it leads them all on an adventure of weird smeg. It is probably too ambitious but I am going to try!
The stress that is just getting thrown at me is just getting me a bit on the dangerous side of my psyche. Ah I don't like getting put back here. Even for a couple of hours. It gets hard to function and I am getting pushed to exploding which could mean I am going to inflict some sort of harm on someone or something. Which naturally I do not want at all. But I have to keep it in or just do some real intensive gaming in the hope that it just goes.
I really wish I could call my mate G man. He just gets me or at least pretends to and that is all I really want is someone to reassure me but I can't really rely on him anymore. In the past I could but now it is both very very selfish and it puts him in a bad position because of his girlfriend who is a bit possessive especially as everyone knows I used to love him in a romantic way. I don't now but even wanting to feel reliant on him as a mate is enough for her to get insecure which causes problems for him and I don't know. I wish I could just not exist for a couple of hours.
Ok. I'm going to stop the pity party here. And try to write about something else.This month I am going to try and do nanowrimo. I have plans to finish reanimation two or three chapters left I think. Then start a fic where Rimmer decides to revive Howard and it leads them all on an adventure of weird smeg. It is probably too ambitious but I am going to try!