first destruction ☣ video ;

[messiahed]

I can't do this.

[She's sitting on a bed, wiping at her eyes and gulping back sobs. Deep breaths. She's not going to cry. Not now.]

I was wrong. I'm not ready. I lied to Nathan.

People are dying for me.

[A small sob escapes her lips and she chokes it back, calming herself again.]

He died.... in my arms....

I just can't do this.

Comments

[webslings]

Hope... [He knows how terrible that feels.] it's going to be okay even if it doesn't seem like it right now.

You can do whatever you want right now. Just hang in there.

[messiahed]

I shouldn't have come back, Peter. I've just made things worse.

[webslings]

You shouldn't think that way. It'll only make things worse.

[messiahed]

I know. I just...

Can't deal with everyone expecting me to perform miracles because I'm here. They demanded I undo what happened to Kurt. I can't. I can't take that back. He's gone and I have nothing to give them.

[ttlynotcable]

[This hits harder for Nate than most might think - flashbacks of what happened in New York, what he did to the people there and what he had to do to them, to Peter (the Peter he thought of as a big brother and had tried to stop him before things went too far and he was stupid, never listened to what he had to say) and the girls to protect them -

so it's no surprise he's going to be heading toward Hope's room, ignoring the words of any of the others, maybe giving a glare over his shoulder as he passes them. They should know better than anyone about the burden of trying to save people but still not being able to.]

[messiahed]

[Hope was just curled up on the bed that was designated as hers in her own room now. The others were giving Nightcrawler the burial he deserved. She'd been there for a moment, but she couldn't bear to stay around for long. Much like Wolverine and his crew, she just had to step away from it all and find a moment of peace to herself amidst the chaos.]

[ttlynotcable]

[There's a couple taps on the door before Nate ends up sending a small telepathic message - it's instant, something he's been used to for forever and finally has back:]

Hey, you want some company?

[Though as soon as he tries to send it, he realizes that she probably wouldn't hear it - he had tried to contact her earlier when he arrived and was working with Laura, but nothing came through - and he wasn't really sure about trying to contact Cable - last time they tried it, they both had a headache for a good while. He clears his throat, though, and speaks loud enough for her to hear:]

Uh ... Hope? Mind if I come in?

[messiahed]

[Hope sat up at the sound of the knock, almost afraid to answer. But when she heard Nate's voice she relaxed and got up off the bed, opening the door for him before going to sit back down.]

Come on in. [She sighed heavily before laughing a little.] Nice little 'welcome to the present' for us, huh?

[shadow_spread]

Casualties will happen.

[says the guy who beats himself over every death of a subordinate]

[messiahed]

But they shouldn't be happening for me.

[shadow_spread]

No one's that good.

[messiahed]

I'm not trying to sound vain. These people are embarking on these missions to save me because I came back.