At least I have the presence of mind to be ashamed of myself.....
Title: Stranger Danger 1/1
Pairing: J2 RPS
Summary: AU. "Jensen rolled his eyes...'No. I'm not dating him. I've never even met him before.'"
Word Count: 3727
Rating: R
Warnings: Some cursing, mentions of adult themes. Cute and adorable fluffiness.
Disclaimer: Don't own Jared, Jensen, or anyone else.
A/N: What the fuck am I doing? It's one am and I'm posting j2 fic. What is wrong with me?? I probably have no clue what the hell I'm doing, but enjoy.
***
In retrospect, Jensen should've been a little more wary.
He still remembered his Momma drilling one of her Golden Rules into his head: 'never talk to strangers; I don't wanna lose you, sweetheart'. Granted, at the time, she had meant creepy old men in vans offering him candy and not Sasquatch-sized theatre majors that hated their boyfriends, but the principle was still the same he supposed.
It started innocently enough: Jensen had been waiting in line at Starbucks, stuck behind a little old lady who wanted to know the difference between a Venti and a Large, absentmindedly worrying about the thesis that was due in his Political Science class in three days. Content with the fact he was probably going to fail no matter how much he worried about it, he put it out of his mind, focusing instead on the rich aroma of caramel macchiatos and hazelnut drifting from behind the counter.
He had practically orgasmed from scent alone when his phone sounded in his pocket, yanking him back down to earth. Irritated, but pulling it out regardless, his eyebrow raised at the little blue flag on his screen. It wasn't from any number he recognized, though they seemed to know him...
When are you coming over?? I want you so bad right now baby... I've practically came in my pants already just thinking about what you did to me last night...
Scoffing, and trying to blink away the feeling of being so thoroughly eye-raped, he typed a response, wondering why this guy would be broadcasting that kind of thing to anyone.Wrong number, buddy. But thanks for sharing.
Jensen moved forward in line, ordering his usual from the barista. His phone chimed once again, forcing him to balance his wallet and fresh Pumpkin Spice Latte in one hand as he fished it out.
Chad??
Thanking the bored-looking teenager standing behind the counter, he quickly moved to a secluded table towards the back. Nope. But there are pills for that kindof thing. Just so you know…
He smiled to himself, pulling a chair out and taking a sip of his latte. Poor bastard. How embarrassing. You never texted anyone when you were horny. That was like, rule number one on how not to regret life. Nine times out of ten, the person on the other end was grossed out or panicked and made you look like an idiot, or you were in too much of a hurry and misdialed in a frenzied rush to try and get off, such as in this guy’s case, and ended up looking like an idiot. Jensen had been on wrongnumbertexts before; this shit happened all the time. And the poor sons of bitches never seemed to learn.
His phone sounded again, and with a smirk he read the frantic apology, could practically feel the guy’s humiliation seeping through the screen of his phone. Instead of going for the kill with a sarcastic reply that was on the tip of his fingers, Jensen decided to be nice, saving the man from dying of embarrassment any further.
It’s ok man…but uhh. Good look with alla that.
He sat his phone on the table, shaking his head in amusement. His phone lit up, and Jensen found himself a little more eager than he’d have liked to see the other man’s response.
In all honesty…im just doing this for my bf. He kinda…gets off on it. Something about doing it in public, right under people’s noses you know?? I don’t see what the big deal is personally…but again, sorry for bothering you.
Jensen typed in a reply: don’t worry about it, you’re fine. Frankly this has been the highlight of my morning. He took a sip of his drink, smiling at the message he got in return.
Haha. Well glad my humiliation amuses you. Name’s Jared btw.
***
After an hour or so, Jensen had ordered another latte and managed to eat half a bagel before he started wondering if continuing to text some random guy was really the wisest thing to be doing.
Despite that, he'd learned more about Jared than he had about the guys in his last three relationships, and it didn’t feel forced whatsoever. Jared lived in California with his boyfriend, Chad, and was currently astudying in the Liberal Arts program at UCLA. He had two dogs which he loved to death, and planned on moving them and the rest of his stuff back home in Texas out to Hollywood as soon as he finished school. He wanted to try his hand at acting and was worried he’d end up wasting all of his money and becoming homeless, but it was his dream and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
It should’ve been weird, he guessed, to be texting someone you didn’t even know in real life, but as Jensen saw it, it was just a way of meeting new people. It’s not like there was any difference in this than talking to a random person on the street was there?
Besides, he saw it as a way to unbiasedly guide the wayward on the right path, and damn if Jared didn’t know what the hell he was doing at the moment.
I mean, I like him and all… He wrote, in the middle of an exceptionally long rant about the flaws he seemed to have with his boyfriend, but he’s just so…
Irritating? Annoying? Clingy? Jensen supplied.
…Apathetic! I wish he was clingier. It’s like he could give two shits if we were together or not, ya know? And I know it’s awful to say, but he’s always so uptight and broody. I know it’s just the way he acts, but sometimes it’s like, chill the fuck out, ya know?
Yeaaahhh. I get what you mean. That’s why ive sworn off relationships for the rest of my life. Too much work to get absolutely nothing out of it…
Jensen leaned back in his seat, fiddling with a packet of Splenda as he waited for Jared to message him back. He hoped he didn’t come off sounding pathetic-its not like he couldn’t be in a relationship if he wanted to, he just got sick of becoming attached to someone and then having them turn out to be nothing more than gigantic wastes of space.
He shook his head, trying to clear it. Wait a minute. Why should he care what Jared thought anyway? It’s not like they’d ever meet or anything…or that he’d even want them to. Fuck, now Jensen was freaking out over someone he didn’t even know. He really needed to get laid. Nip all of those warm gooey feelings he felt when he saw one of Jared’s texts right in the bud.
Sounds like there’s a story there, Jared wrote him, anything you want to share with the class, Jensen?
Nothing to share, He replied back, reaching his hand up to mess with his hair absentmindedly. Just that I only seem to attract douchebags that are more interested in getting their dick sucked than spending good ole’ quality time together. And trust me, that does not a well-adjusted relationship make.
Jensen mentally groaned at the thought of his last boyfriend. While it was true, Christian had loved getting head over having any sort of meaningful conversation, there was a bit more to it than what he had told Jared. In reality, he had been the one to get dumped after three months of being in Relationship Purgatory. He had tried with every bit of energy he had to make it work, and never wanted to be embarrassed so much ever again. If it seemed like he was being a cynical asshole by swearing off of relationships all together, and condemning those who were trying to make their own work, it’s only because he was.
Seems we’re kinda in the same boat, man. If it makes you feel any better, I only seem to attract angst-ridden little waifs who love my dick more than the rest of me...
Jensen busted out laughing at that, startling the couple next to him who had been giving him the evil-eye ever since he’d accidentally kicked the chair opposite him into their table. Oh wowwwww…so sorry to hear that. You poor thing! Hahaha.
A few minutes went by without hearing from Jared, and Jensen started to let himself worry. Had he pissed him off by laughing? Maybe that wasn’t the reaction he should have had.
Ummm…think I need to go. Jared replied back after a while, I completely forgot that I was supposed to have been texting Chad dirty messages while he was at work and now he’s pissed. Haha. Gotta go.
Jensen felt his heart sink a little after reading that last line. Shaking it off and wondering what the hell had gotten into him, he messaged back: Haha. That’s fine. It was nice talking to you, Jared. Maybe we can do this again sometime.
***
For all intents and purposes, Jensen had figured he’d never hear from Jared again, but when Jared had quickly replied back that he’d definitely keep in touch, he was true to his word.
They talked about everything.
Jensen talked about his classes in college and how he’d never figure being an English major could be so difficult. He talked about how much he missed home back in Texas, but how much he loved living in Chicago.
Jared bitched about how much Chad was making his life a living hell, about how he was always whining that they spent too much time together and that if their relationship was going to work he needed as much space as possible
He even called me clingy! ME! Jared sent one day when he had been venting his anger at his boyfriend to Jensen, Gosh I’m sorry if asking to have dinner after work is ‘suffocating you’. Jesus Christ, Jen. Why am I with this guy again??
Jensen tapped his finger against the edge of his iPhone, trying to think of a reply. In all the time he and Jared had been texting one another, he had never really told him anything about his boyfriend that made him happy. He never shared a single positive story about him actually. The only time he ever seemed excited or genuinely pleased about anything was when he was going on about how much he missed running with his dogs back home or about his family.
Jen??
Jensen sighed, deciding to bite the bullet and make up some generic bullshit about how Jared loves him and couldn’t see himself with anyone else but Chad. Now was not the time to be brutally honest. Jared needed to hear what he wanted to hear. Not that Jensen thought his boyfriend was a griping little tool and didn’t deserve someone as awesome and sweet as Jared. He had to be a good friend, even if writing it made him nauseous.
B/c you love him of course. Cuz spending time with him makes you happy and you couldn’t see yourself with anyone else…
Jensen hit send before he could overthink it too much, hoping that would be what Jared needed to hear.
Actually…I’m not sure I do. I mean, I care about him and all. But…God, Jen. I think talking to you makes me happier than spending time with Chad…
Jensen froze instantly, his heart hammering in his chest for some weird reason, not knowing how to react to that. He gave Jared an excuse about needing to rest up for class the next day, shutting his phone off after it went through. He tossed his phone onto his desk, knowing that if he was as far from his cell as possible, he could resist the urge to text Jared and could smother the hope rising in his chest as far down as possible.
***
“So…you’re dating?”
Jensen rolled his eyes, reaching across the table to snatch the scone he’d bought for himself from Danneel's fingers.
“No. We aren’t dating. I’ve never even met him before.”
They were seated in UC’s impressive library, where they were supposed to be studying for finals, getting shushed by the mean-looking witch with the wire-rimmed glasses every four minutes for talking, but damned if that was going to stop Danneel from getting information out of him.
She brushed a strand of red hair away from her eyes, using the distraction to steal a sip of his coffee. “You’ve spoken to him though. After the two of you graduated to actual phone calls, you called me at three in the morning gushing about his voice. His voice, Jensen. C’mon. You talk about the guy more than can be considered strictly platonic. Plus, from what I seem to understand, he’s hot, correct?”
Jensen could feel his cheeks flood with heat. A couple of weeks ago, he and Jared had sent each other pictures of themselves. It’s not like it really mattered. They talked to each other because they liked to talk each other; it wasn’t like either of them were looking for a relationship or anything out of it.
But still, Jensen couldn’t help but feel relief (and maybe another warmer, more familiar feeling) when the way he had pictured Jay had turned out to be nearly identical to the real thing. He had teased him for the dimples and called him Bigfoot, Jared had mocked his freckles and said he had lips that most girls spent years and $1500 trying to replicate, but Jensen couldn’t help but feel a shiver of…something, when Jared had said he’d never seen more beautiful green eyes in his life.
He eyed Danneel, who was still waiting for her answer, and grabbed his drink from her well-manicured claws. “Yeah. So? It still doesn’t mean we’re dating.”
“It’s called a long distance relationship. Ever heard of it?”
“Chicago and Los Angeles is a pretty damn long distance.”
“But you’re both from Texas. What? You’ll never go back home? You can’t ever meet him?
“Do you know how big Texas is? San Antonio is like, four hours away from Richardson.”
“Jensen!” Danneel yelled, grabbing his wrist, silencing herself with the look the head librarian sent her. “Enough with the circle jerk. You like the guy. He’s hot. He clearly likes you. Why don’t you do something about it?”
He pulled his arm away, rubbing it with a pout on his face from where she had clutched him too hard.
“Look. Jen. You’re my friend, and I love you. Which is why I’m just trying to help. I can see it on your face,” Her voice softened, “you really like this guy don’t you?”
His mouth opened like he was going to try and deny it, but decided to admit defeat and quit denying what was so blatantly obvious to everyone around him. He tucked his head to his chest, nodding slightly.
Her painted lips twisted up in a grin, “I knew it! Okay. Here’s how we do this, summer break’s coming up in like, two weeks. You go home to ‘see your family’ and casually mention to tall and sexy that he ought to do the same. Make sure you’re in the same state and”-
“Danni, it can’t work like that.” Jensen said, resting his head in his hands. “He still has a boyfriend.”
“Oh, what? The twink with the attitude problem you told me about?” She laughed, throwing her over-sized bag over her shoulder, “Honey, he has nothing on you. Now, let’s go. You’re going to call your mother and tell her you’re coming home for break, and then you’re texting cutie-pie over there on the West Coast and getting him to do the same.”
Jensen picked his books up and began following her out of the building and into Chicago’s irritatingly cool air, “What are you going to do?”
Danneel turned to face him, patting his face, “Sweetie, I’m going to get you laid.”
***
Jensen checked the clock behind him for the millionth time, his knee knocking against the table he was seated at.
Danneel's plan had come to fruition nearly three weeks later. After she had practically knocked him out after he had refused, he finally got the nerve to subtly mention to Jared his plans for the summer. Thankfully, it hadn’t been awkward at all. Much like every time he spoke with Jared, it had felt as easy as breathing to convince him that he should take the time away from trying to find acting gigs in Hollywood and spend his time off with his family.
Jared had agreed immediately, saying that maybe spending some time away from LA and everyone in it would be for the best.
Jenson ignored the spark of hope that flared in his heart. It had seemed Jared had been even unhappier with Chad than normal. When Jensen had tried to smooth things over, (much as it killed him to do so) Jared had clammed up, changing the subject instantly. It seemed almost too good to be true that Jensen might have found someone who he liked that actually seemed to like him as much right back. He ignored the little voice in his head that tried to convince him ‘like’ wasn’t a strong enough word…for Christ’s sake; he hadn’t even met the man yet.
Which was why he was sitting in a generic-looking diner, more nervous than he’d ever been in his life, waiting for Jared.
He wiped his sweaty palms across the front of his jeans, feeling like an idiot for waiting, and even more like one for even considering bailing.
After a while, Jared had mentioned how Richardson was on his way home anyway, and that he wanted to meet his new best friend. Jensen tried to keep his voice from getting caught in his throat, but agreed, rambling off the address of some random restaurant and hanging up before he could vomit.
He checked the clock again, (make that a million and one) feeling the butterflies swarm his stomach even more. What if Jared had decided to bail? What if he never had any intention of meeting him in the first place? He felt the cold feeling of panic nearly grip him, when the bell perched at the entrance sounded, Jensen’s eyes flitting over to the door instantly.
If Jensen’s heart beat any faster, he was convinced he’d be having a heart attack.
Jared’s face broke into a smile the second he spotted him, his dimples popping as he and Jensen locked eyes. He rushed over to his booth, Jensen rising to greet him, and enveloped him in a near suffocating hug.
“Jay? Jay I…dude, you’re crushing my lungs.”
Jared pulled back, offering a sheepish grin before sitting down in the booth across from Jensen.
“Sorry bout’ that, Jen. Have you ordered yet? What’s good here?” Jared grabbed the menu from the side of the table, leafing through it. “Bacon Burger maybe?”
Jensen blinked, shaking his head a little to bring him back to reality. Jared was more perfect than he could’ve imagined. He couldn’t help but picture those big hands splayed over his stomach (or elsewhere) as he kissed him, licked him, rocked into him. There was no way that Jared was anything less than proportional, and God…Jensen was almost hard from his imagination alone.
“Jensen? You alright?” Jared asked, wide hazel eyes showing genuine concern.
“Uhh,” Jensen smoothed his hands down his pants, hoping that he his face wasn’t red. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. It’s nice to see you, man. How’ve you been doing?”
Jared’s smile fell a little, his hands stilling as he folded them together stoically. “Actually, not so well. Chad and I…”
Jensen froze, his heart flying into his throat; there was no way this actually was happening to him. “What?”
“We broke up…”
Jensen bit his lip to keep from smiling; just because this was good news for him, didn’t mean his best friend wasn’t hurting. “I-I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?”
“Well…he,” Jared looked almost nervous, picking at the plastic placemat, his head ducked down. “He found some of the texts we’d been sending each other.” Jared didn’t let him get a word in before he added hastily, “nothing private or anything! Just random conversations we’d have.”
“What,” Jensen licked his lips, which felt way too dry. “What did he do?”
Jared exhaled a breath, “Screamed. A lot. He thought I was cheating on him with you. I tried to tell him we were just friends but he wouldn’t believe me.”
Jensen pulled at his collar, suddenly feeling awkward. He had effectively ruined his best friend’s relationship and was practically giddy about it. “And so he broke up with you?”
“Actually,” Jared looked to the table, his hair falling in front of his face, “…he gave me a choice. He said I could stay with him, or…”
Jensen raised an eyebrow, “Or…what?”
“Or, I could keep texting you. Keep talking to you.” His eyes went to Jensen’s, uncertain, “I picked you.”
Jensen couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, he was too afraid his entire world would explode around him. “J-”
“I don’t expect you to drop your whole life for me or anything, I mean, you don’t even really know me but,” He took Jensen’s hands in his, “I feel like I know you. And I really like you and-”
His words were cut off as Jensen leaned across the table, his hands still engulfed in Jared’s, their lips pressed together. He pulled back, looking up at Jared, smiling at the shock on his face. “Believe me. I understand.”
***
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