(no subject)
Title:Fame
Pairing:John/Adam
Rating:R for swearing
Summary:Angsty Adam fic. John abandons Adam to pursue his own stardom. He can't stand Adam and things get ugly when TBS tours with Straylight Run and Brand New.
filler chapter, sorry. if people are interested I'll continue. It didn't really seem that way so I dunno...
One
Chapter 2
“Adam, he says he’s leaving. He’s taking Shaun with him. Adam are you there?”
Eddie’s voice rang in my ears as I slid down the wall of the apartment I had shared with John. The cordless phone slipped from my grasp and hit the floor with a loud crack!. John had left. Everything he owned had been removed from our small apartment and I had been so confused when I had come back from my parent’s house in North Carolina. Why would John move out and not tell me? We don’t talk much anymore but to just leave?
But Eddie’s phone call had explained everything. My worst fear had come true. John left us. Left me. I could hear Eddie’s voice coming muffled from the handset that lay at my side. I reached down, barely realizing what I was doing, and put the phone to me ear.
“I’ll call you later Ed. I… I’ll just call you later.” I said numbly before hanging the phone up, cutting off anymore talk from Eddie. I needed time to think.
I threw the phone hard across the room and it hit the wall on the opposite side and shattered. Fuck, how do I call Eddie if I have a busted phone?
I supposed that I could go over there, but that would mean seeing him. I didn’t want to see anyone. It was over. Taking Back Sunday was done. My dream was as good as dead. But why? Why the fuck would he walk out on us? We’re like his brothers. He said so.
Is it to become famous on his own? So I don’t steal his spotlight? He couldn’t really be that big of an asshole could he?
Tears burned my eyes and I swiped them away angrily. Only John would be so shitty as to abandon me us without a word of warning. To let me fucking find out through a telephone call.
A knock on the door startled me out of my growing rage at John. I stared hard at the door and jumped when the pounding started again. Maybe if I stared hard enough at the door it would tell me who was there, that way I didn’t have to get up.
“Open the door Lazzara, its Mark!”
See? Staring works.
“It’s open.” I half yelled.
The door swung open and Mark walked in. He stomped up to me and glared down at my slouching form.
“I already know, Mark, Eddie called me.” I said my voice unintentionally sharp.
“Yeah, you should know you fucker.”
“What?” I asked confused. I was just as in the dark as he probably was. I found out through a phone call.
“Don’t play stupid. Nolan told us.”
I rolled my eyes, already tired of the “guess why I’m pissed” game. I glared back at him and pulled my self off the floor.
“Do tell. What did dear John say?” I asked giving him a false smile. It faded from my face quickly when he gritted his teeth and slammed me hard into the wall behind me.
“What the fuck man?”
“You cock sucking faggot.” He growled.
My eyes widened. “What?” I yelped. John left because I was gay? Wait, John knew I was gay?
“You had to drive him off didn’t you?” Mark screamed into my face. I felt my eyes well up with tears. I wasn’t sure what the hell he was talking about but I figured any second now I was a dead man.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! Is it because I’m gay? I never even told him! I never told anyone!” I choked out. This can’t be happening. How could John have found out? I hid it so well. Okay, girls jeans, nail polish, everything about me screams ‘homo’.
Mark’s grip relaxed and he blinked stupidly. “What? You’re gay?” He asked, releasing me.
“Isn’t that what you meant?” I whimpered. “Cuz I’m a faggot?”
Mark frowned. “I… No… John said he was leaving because he couldn’t take you anymore.” He mumbled.
I felt my heart shatter. Johnny, my best friend, left because of me? I felt the tears I had been holding back make their way down my cheeks. I wrapped my arms around myself and held myself tight. Mark looked at me confused and reached out to touch me. I jerked away and he pulled his hand back.
“Adam… I didn’t know. Jesus I didn’t mean to call you a faggot, I swear. I was angry and it was the first thing that popped into my head. Adam, God, don’t cry.” He said, panicking.
“He left because of me? I didn’t do anything. I didn’t… I’ve just tried to be a good friend.” I whispered. John hates me. What the fuck have I done to deserve this? I run my hands though my hair and tug lightly.
“I don’t know Ad. I’m sorry. He told us it was you and they were leaving and Shaun is my best fucking friend and our band Adam, the band is over. Fuck I just got so worked up. I was happy to have you to blame I guess. John’s been acting like a tool for the last five or six months, I was afraid he was going to do this. I didn’t mean to scare you, oh Adam please don’t cry.” Mark rambled making hand gestures to illustrate the importance of what he said. Finally he just stopped waving his hands around and put his hands in them.
“Just stop. I’m not mad at you. As long as you don’t hate me for being gay.” I said numbly. I wanted nothing more than to just drop dead. Why couldn’t God pick this opportune time to strike me down?
“Of course not. I’m such an ass.” He said as he pulled me into a hug. I stiffened for a second before relaxing into the hug. I cried softly against the soft fabric of his blue Chicago Bear’s tee-shirt, that I’m pretty sure he borrowed from me.
You’d think we’d been told someone we love had just died of cancer. But in a way isn’t that true? Taking Back Sunday had gotten a disease and now it was dead.
“We worked so hard.” He whispered. I sniffled and gritted my teeth. We had worked hard. Why should we act like this was the end of the fucking world? There had to be others out there dedicated like us. Who would kill for the chance to be in this band. We weren’t finished. I wouldn’t let us be finished.
“And we will continue to do so.” I said. Mark pulled away and looked into my red rimmed eyes.
“What?”
“I’m not giving up. I sure as hell hope you aren’t. We’ll replace them.” I said coldly. I wasn’t going to let John and Shaun ruin my dream. Fuck them. They can die and rot in hell for all I care. Abandon me, I don’t care. You can’t ruin something I fought this hard for.
“Are you sure about this?” Mark asked, as a smile formed on his face.
“Adam Lazzara isn’t a quitter.” I said with more confidence that I felt. “We have some phone calls to make. We need replacements soon. I think I’ll have a lot of material soon.”
Oh jeez don’t kill me. That was kind of a filler chapter.
Pairing:John/Adam
Rating:R for swearing
Summary:Angsty Adam fic. John abandons Adam to pursue his own stardom. He can't stand Adam and things get ugly when TBS tours with Straylight Run and Brand New.
filler chapter, sorry. if people are interested I'll continue. It didn't really seem that way so I dunno...
One
Chapter 2
“Adam, he says he’s leaving. He’s taking Shaun with him. Adam are you there?”
Eddie’s voice rang in my ears as I slid down the wall of the apartment I had shared with John. The cordless phone slipped from my grasp and hit the floor with a loud crack!. John had left. Everything he owned had been removed from our small apartment and I had been so confused when I had come back from my parent’s house in North Carolina. Why would John move out and not tell me? We don’t talk much anymore but to just leave?
But Eddie’s phone call had explained everything. My worst fear had come true. John left us. Left me. I could hear Eddie’s voice coming muffled from the handset that lay at my side. I reached down, barely realizing what I was doing, and put the phone to me ear.
“I’ll call you later Ed. I… I’ll just call you later.” I said numbly before hanging the phone up, cutting off anymore talk from Eddie. I needed time to think.
I threw the phone hard across the room and it hit the wall on the opposite side and shattered. Fuck, how do I call Eddie if I have a busted phone?
I supposed that I could go over there, but that would mean seeing him. I didn’t want to see anyone. It was over. Taking Back Sunday was done. My dream was as good as dead. But why? Why the fuck would he walk out on us? We’re like his brothers. He said so.
Is it to become famous on his own? So I don’t steal his spotlight? He couldn’t really be that big of an asshole could he?
Tears burned my eyes and I swiped them away angrily. Only John would be so shitty as to abandon me us without a word of warning. To let me fucking find out through a telephone call.
A knock on the door startled me out of my growing rage at John. I stared hard at the door and jumped when the pounding started again. Maybe if I stared hard enough at the door it would tell me who was there, that way I didn’t have to get up.
“Open the door Lazzara, its Mark!”
See? Staring works.
“It’s open.” I half yelled.
The door swung open and Mark walked in. He stomped up to me and glared down at my slouching form.
“I already know, Mark, Eddie called me.” I said my voice unintentionally sharp.
“Yeah, you should know you fucker.”
“What?” I asked confused. I was just as in the dark as he probably was. I found out through a phone call.
“Don’t play stupid. Nolan told us.”
I rolled my eyes, already tired of the “guess why I’m pissed” game. I glared back at him and pulled my self off the floor.
“Do tell. What did dear John say?” I asked giving him a false smile. It faded from my face quickly when he gritted his teeth and slammed me hard into the wall behind me.
“What the fuck man?”
“You cock sucking faggot.” He growled.
My eyes widened. “What?” I yelped. John left because I was gay? Wait, John knew I was gay?
“You had to drive him off didn’t you?” Mark screamed into my face. I felt my eyes well up with tears. I wasn’t sure what the hell he was talking about but I figured any second now I was a dead man.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! Is it because I’m gay? I never even told him! I never told anyone!” I choked out. This can’t be happening. How could John have found out? I hid it so well. Okay, girls jeans, nail polish, everything about me screams ‘homo’.
Mark’s grip relaxed and he blinked stupidly. “What? You’re gay?” He asked, releasing me.
“Isn’t that what you meant?” I whimpered. “Cuz I’m a faggot?”
Mark frowned. “I… No… John said he was leaving because he couldn’t take you anymore.” He mumbled.
I felt my heart shatter. Johnny, my best friend, left because of me? I felt the tears I had been holding back make their way down my cheeks. I wrapped my arms around myself and held myself tight. Mark looked at me confused and reached out to touch me. I jerked away and he pulled his hand back.
“Adam… I didn’t know. Jesus I didn’t mean to call you a faggot, I swear. I was angry and it was the first thing that popped into my head. Adam, God, don’t cry.” He said, panicking.
“He left because of me? I didn’t do anything. I didn’t… I’ve just tried to be a good friend.” I whispered. John hates me. What the fuck have I done to deserve this? I run my hands though my hair and tug lightly.
“I don’t know Ad. I’m sorry. He told us it was you and they were leaving and Shaun is my best fucking friend and our band Adam, the band is over. Fuck I just got so worked up. I was happy to have you to blame I guess. John’s been acting like a tool for the last five or six months, I was afraid he was going to do this. I didn’t mean to scare you, oh Adam please don’t cry.” Mark rambled making hand gestures to illustrate the importance of what he said. Finally he just stopped waving his hands around and put his hands in them.
“Just stop. I’m not mad at you. As long as you don’t hate me for being gay.” I said numbly. I wanted nothing more than to just drop dead. Why couldn’t God pick this opportune time to strike me down?
“Of course not. I’m such an ass.” He said as he pulled me into a hug. I stiffened for a second before relaxing into the hug. I cried softly against the soft fabric of his blue Chicago Bear’s tee-shirt, that I’m pretty sure he borrowed from me.
You’d think we’d been told someone we love had just died of cancer. But in a way isn’t that true? Taking Back Sunday had gotten a disease and now it was dead.
“We worked so hard.” He whispered. I sniffled and gritted my teeth. We had worked hard. Why should we act like this was the end of the fucking world? There had to be others out there dedicated like us. Who would kill for the chance to be in this band. We weren’t finished. I wouldn’t let us be finished.
“And we will continue to do so.” I said. Mark pulled away and looked into my red rimmed eyes.
“What?”
“I’m not giving up. I sure as hell hope you aren’t. We’ll replace them.” I said coldly. I wasn’t going to let John and Shaun ruin my dream. Fuck them. They can die and rot in hell for all I care. Abandon me, I don’t care. You can’t ruin something I fought this hard for.
“Are you sure about this?” Mark asked, as a smile formed on his face.
“Adam Lazzara isn’t a quitter.” I said with more confidence that I felt. “We have some phone calls to make. We need replacements soon. I think I’ll have a lot of material soon.”
Oh jeez don’t kill me. That was kind of a filler chapter.