If You Were Here -- Sacha Kljestan/Benny Feilhaber
Title: If You Were Here
Pairing: Sacha Kljestan/Benny Feilhaber
Rating: R+
Disclaimer: Not real, all fiction. I know nothing about these players.
Author's Notes: For luckiey_starrz in the footballslash Secret Santa. Posting here for archival purposes, because I'm OCD like that.
Your phone rings in the middle of the night and you know Benny's forgotten you're in China. You roll your eyes, but you get up anyway, taking the phone into the bathroom and shutting the door behind you and it almost goes to voicemail before you answer.
"Dude." That's all he says, and you can't tell if he's happy or upset or drunk-dialing you again from that bar he always goes to with Eddie.
"Benny?"
"Yeah. Come visit me."
You sigh and sit back against the door. "You know I can't."
"Dude. Why not?" He tries to hide it, but he's whining a little and you're starting to get worried.
"I'm in China. And when I get back, we're visiting Gordon for Christmas. No one's been to his new place yet."
"So you're leaving me alone for Hanukkah. In fucking Derby."
You sigh again and you can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes. "You don't even celebrate Hanukkah. And you moved there, bro."
"Yeah. I know. And it sucks and I miss you and I don't have any friends here."
"Is it that bad? At least they speak English?" You know you're reaching, but it's three a.m. on the only night you get to sleep in, and you're a bad friend and an even worse boyfriend, but you just want to get back in bed.
He sighs and you know you're not getting to bed yet. "Please come here. Soon."
"I'll try. Maybe after Christmas. You know I miss you, too, right?"
You can hear him start to smile and he sounds a little more like himself. "Really?"
"Yeah. They don't let me do podcasts without you here. I had to write a blog post instead."
"Shut up, man. I thought you were getting all serious on me."
You relax, as much as you can sitting on the cold tile floor of a Chinese hotel bathroom, leaning against the door. "Never, dude."
"Tell me about camp."
"Um. It's good. Cold. I'm rooming with Robbie. He's on the phone to Mike all the time. They, um. They made me captain."
He laughs a little. "Good. Do you have to yell at everyone?"
"No. Not yet, anyway. I just have to go to press conferences and remember to watch my mouth around Zac. He's sixteen, so Peter doesn't want us swearing around him."
Benny laughs again, lower this time. "God, I wish I was there."
You close your eyes and it's been too long since you've seen him. "I wish you were too, man. You're a better roommate than Robbie."
"Yeah? Why is that?"
"He's not a great kisser, for one thing."
"Hm. I always liked him. He's gentle." He can't even finish the sentence without laughing, and you grin and lean back into the door again.
"You say that, but I know you like me better. Robbie wouldn't let you play My Chemical Romance all the time."
"Shut up, dude. It's just that one song. That you sent me. And I do like you better."
"I like you, too. I wish you were here. Like in South Africa."
His voice gets a little deeper, and you know he's remembering what you are. "That was. Yeah, Sach, I miss that." He pauses. "Tell me what we would do if I was there."
You smile again, a little slower. "First we'd kick Robbie out."
"Yeah? Good. I don't like an audience."
"Except on Myspace."
"Shut up, man. Like you can talk."
"Whatever. If you were here, I'd probably have to kiss you just to shut you up for a minute."
"You should know that doesn't work by now."
"Yeah, true. You're a mouthy bastard, Benny."
"I am. You might have to pull my hair to keep me quiet."
You shift again, trying to find a comfortable position on the floor and reaching a hand down to rest on the front of your pajama pants. "Or I could give you something better to do with your mouth."
He moans, short and soft, and you close your eyes and think of the last time you heard him do that. "You like that, Benny?"
"You know I do. Fuck, Sach. Keep talking."
"Okay. I'd pull you up, on top of me, and I'd kiss you again. Like the night before the game in South Africa."
He inhales sharply, and you have to ask. "Are you touching yourself?"
"Aren't you?"
"Yeah. Good. I want to hear you come."
"Keep talking. If I were there, I'd. God. I want to fuck you, Sach."
You're hard already, but hearing him say that gets you harder, and you stroke yourself lightly through the soft flannel of your pants. "I want that, too. God, Benny. Please. If you were here, I'd touch you and. I'd ask you to fuck me. I miss that."
His voice is slow and a little rough. "Ask me now, Sach."
"Fuck me, Benny. Please."
"God, you sound so hot. I'd pull your shorts off and kiss you again."
You're breathing hard and you know your voice is already strained. "Yeah. I'd touch you through your shorts. Like I'm doing now. And then I'd pull them off and god, Benny. I want you."
His breathing is ragged, so you keep going. "Close your eyes. Pretend it's me touching you."
"Fuck, Sach." He says other things, but you can't understand them, and you listen to him touch himself and make the same noises he makes when he's inside you. You listen and press your hand against yourself, echoing his noises and you can tell that he's close.
"Come on, Benny. I want to hear you." He answers you, but not in words, groaning once more and you know he's coming. You close your eyes again and you can almost see him, head tipped back and eyes screwed shut, and you touch yourself harder and bite your lip as you come, too, breathing hard.
You reach up and grab some tissues, cleaning yourself off as you listen to his breathing slow.
"God." That's all he says and you wonder for a second if he's okay.
"Benny?"
"Yeah. I'm okay. Jesus, Sach."
You laugh a little. "Yeah. I know, man." You're not sure why it's awkward, but it is and all of a sudden you really want to go back to bed.
"What time is it there?"
You pull the phone away from your ear and check. "Um. Three."
"Fuck. And you're still awake?"
"Yeah. You might think I like you or something."
His voice is soft. "You might think that. Go to bed, Sach. I'll see you after Christmas."
"Night, man. See you then."
He hangs up, and you flip your phone closed and turn off the bathroom light, opening the door and sneaking past Robbie to your bed. When you fall asleep, you dream about Benny.
Pairing: Sacha Kljestan/Benny Feilhaber
Rating: R+
Disclaimer: Not real, all fiction. I know nothing about these players.
Author's Notes: For luckiey_starrz in the footballslash Secret Santa. Posting here for archival purposes, because I'm OCD like that.
Your phone rings in the middle of the night and you know Benny's forgotten you're in China. You roll your eyes, but you get up anyway, taking the phone into the bathroom and shutting the door behind you and it almost goes to voicemail before you answer.
"Dude." That's all he says, and you can't tell if he's happy or upset or drunk-dialing you again from that bar he always goes to with Eddie.
"Benny?"
"Yeah. Come visit me."
You sigh and sit back against the door. "You know I can't."
"Dude. Why not?" He tries to hide it, but he's whining a little and you're starting to get worried.
"I'm in China. And when I get back, we're visiting Gordon for Christmas. No one's been to his new place yet."
"So you're leaving me alone for Hanukkah. In fucking Derby."
You sigh again and you can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes. "You don't even celebrate Hanukkah. And you moved there, bro."
"Yeah. I know. And it sucks and I miss you and I don't have any friends here."
"Is it that bad? At least they speak English?" You know you're reaching, but it's three a.m. on the only night you get to sleep in, and you're a bad friend and an even worse boyfriend, but you just want to get back in bed.
He sighs and you know you're not getting to bed yet. "Please come here. Soon."
"I'll try. Maybe after Christmas. You know I miss you, too, right?"
You can hear him start to smile and he sounds a little more like himself. "Really?"
"Yeah. They don't let me do podcasts without you here. I had to write a blog post instead."
"Shut up, man. I thought you were getting all serious on me."
You relax, as much as you can sitting on the cold tile floor of a Chinese hotel bathroom, leaning against the door. "Never, dude."
"Tell me about camp."
"Um. It's good. Cold. I'm rooming with Robbie. He's on the phone to Mike all the time. They, um. They made me captain."
He laughs a little. "Good. Do you have to yell at everyone?"
"No. Not yet, anyway. I just have to go to press conferences and remember to watch my mouth around Zac. He's sixteen, so Peter doesn't want us swearing around him."
Benny laughs again, lower this time. "God, I wish I was there."
You close your eyes and it's been too long since you've seen him. "I wish you were too, man. You're a better roommate than Robbie."
"Yeah? Why is that?"
"He's not a great kisser, for one thing."
"Hm. I always liked him. He's gentle." He can't even finish the sentence without laughing, and you grin and lean back into the door again.
"You say that, but I know you like me better. Robbie wouldn't let you play My Chemical Romance all the time."
"Shut up, dude. It's just that one song. That you sent me. And I do like you better."
"I like you, too. I wish you were here. Like in South Africa."
His voice gets a little deeper, and you know he's remembering what you are. "That was. Yeah, Sach, I miss that." He pauses. "Tell me what we would do if I was there."
You smile again, a little slower. "First we'd kick Robbie out."
"Yeah? Good. I don't like an audience."
"Except on Myspace."
"Shut up, man. Like you can talk."
"Whatever. If you were here, I'd probably have to kiss you just to shut you up for a minute."
"You should know that doesn't work by now."
"Yeah, true. You're a mouthy bastard, Benny."
"I am. You might have to pull my hair to keep me quiet."
You shift again, trying to find a comfortable position on the floor and reaching a hand down to rest on the front of your pajama pants. "Or I could give you something better to do with your mouth."
He moans, short and soft, and you close your eyes and think of the last time you heard him do that. "You like that, Benny?"
"You know I do. Fuck, Sach. Keep talking."
"Okay. I'd pull you up, on top of me, and I'd kiss you again. Like the night before the game in South Africa."
He inhales sharply, and you have to ask. "Are you touching yourself?"
"Aren't you?"
"Yeah. Good. I want to hear you come."
"Keep talking. If I were there, I'd. God. I want to fuck you, Sach."
You're hard already, but hearing him say that gets you harder, and you stroke yourself lightly through the soft flannel of your pants. "I want that, too. God, Benny. Please. If you were here, I'd touch you and. I'd ask you to fuck me. I miss that."
His voice is slow and a little rough. "Ask me now, Sach."
"Fuck me, Benny. Please."
"God, you sound so hot. I'd pull your shorts off and kiss you again."
You're breathing hard and you know your voice is already strained. "Yeah. I'd touch you through your shorts. Like I'm doing now. And then I'd pull them off and god, Benny. I want you."
His breathing is ragged, so you keep going. "Close your eyes. Pretend it's me touching you."
"Fuck, Sach." He says other things, but you can't understand them, and you listen to him touch himself and make the same noises he makes when he's inside you. You listen and press your hand against yourself, echoing his noises and you can tell that he's close.
"Come on, Benny. I want to hear you." He answers you, but not in words, groaning once more and you know he's coming. You close your eyes again and you can almost see him, head tipped back and eyes screwed shut, and you touch yourself harder and bite your lip as you come, too, breathing hard.
You reach up and grab some tissues, cleaning yourself off as you listen to his breathing slow.
"God." That's all he says and you wonder for a second if he's okay.
"Benny?"
"Yeah. I'm okay. Jesus, Sach."
You laugh a little. "Yeah. I know, man." You're not sure why it's awkward, but it is and all of a sudden you really want to go back to bed.
"What time is it there?"
You pull the phone away from your ear and check. "Um. Three."
"Fuck. And you're still awake?"
"Yeah. You might think I like you or something."
His voice is soft. "You might think that. Go to bed, Sach. I'll see you after Christmas."
"Night, man. See you then."
He hangs up, and you flip your phone closed and turn off the bathroom light, opening the door and sneaking past Robbie to your bed. When you fall asleep, you dream about Benny.