How does this sound and look?

[metahara]

"gasp" is Thomai Hatsios' narrative directorial debut. After years of directing documentary, experimental, dance film, music video and industrials, Thomai decided to write a narrative script that could be made inexpensively. She gleaned from her personal experience as a single mother determined to survive a sometimes debilitating illness and asked

Comments

[roxypier]

When do you need to hand this in?
I think it needs a bit of an edit. It's good, it's just a little tweak could help.
Can I put my hand on it or is too late?

[metahara]

please do!