mapquest done LIED to you
nekidwhiteboy talks to the planets...
Dear Mercury:
Please, do us all a fucking favor, okay, and GET OUT OF RETROGRADE ALREADY. No, seriously.
Everybody's travel plans be all derailed behind your skinny little confused ass not knowing where to go in ORBIT, for christ's sake, which is usually NOT ALL THAT COMPLICATED, HELLO. Electronics everywhere be just actin all tore up and through with it (...TIY? TIYTIYTI!) like I think my laptop was tryin to matter-compile both a foot and a mouth in which to insert said foot when it decided to just give up that madness and vagigurgitate (since that's easier and just as effective at keeping me from lookin at the pr0n I was no doubt torrenting), people act even more ignunt than normal when they drive they car because they ass is confused now too, planes be just fallin right out the sky, every Gemini in the world has done forgot yet again that the Fifth Step of Narcotics Anonymous is to make amends, not to make a mess of the Mens, and it's nary a Virgo in the world who can find her purse, her car keys or her nerve pills and to add insult to injury she is already late for her daily 5:30am OCD therapy and secret binge-drinking appointment and somebody has got to scrub out that bathtub before she can even attend to the rest...and you know all a Virgo needs is just one good little push in the direction of Lady Macbeth, and then it's just all gonna end in tears and ajax.
See how hard you done made it for everybody? Please FIND YOUR ASS, Mercury, and do what any bitch with sense will do when she realizes she been goin the wrong way down a certain street for over a month: MAKE A GODDAMN U-TURN.
Yours in astrological derailment and ignunce,
Donny
Context is quoted with Pluto permission
Dear Mercury:
Please, do us all a fucking favor, okay, and GET OUT OF RETROGRADE ALREADY. No, seriously.
Everybody's travel plans be all derailed behind your skinny little confused ass not knowing where to go in ORBIT, for christ's sake, which is usually NOT ALL THAT COMPLICATED, HELLO. Electronics everywhere be just actin all tore up and through with it (...TIY? TIYTIYTI!) like I think my laptop was tryin to matter-compile both a foot and a mouth in which to insert said foot when it decided to just give up that madness and vagigurgitate (since that's easier and just as effective at keeping me from lookin at the pr0n I was no doubt torrenting), people act even more ignunt than normal when they drive they car because they ass is confused now too, planes be just fallin right out the sky, every Gemini in the world has done forgot yet again that the Fifth Step of Narcotics Anonymous is to make amends, not to make a mess of the Mens, and it's nary a Virgo in the world who can find her purse, her car keys or her nerve pills and to add insult to injury she is already late for her daily 5:30am OCD therapy and secret binge-drinking appointment and somebody has got to scrub out that bathtub before she can even attend to the rest...and you know all a Virgo needs is just one good little push in the direction of Lady Macbeth, and then it's just all gonna end in tears and ajax.
See how hard you done made it for everybody? Please FIND YOUR ASS, Mercury, and do what any bitch with sense will do when she realizes she been goin the wrong way down a certain street for over a month: MAKE A GODDAMN U-TURN.
Yours in astrological derailment and ignunce,
Donny
Context is quoted with Pluto permission