Lightning is just God's way of warning you where Toshiro Mifune is.
pseudomanitou has decided that the world needs a new Chuck Norris:
Chuck Norris is so full of crap. All his right-wing bullshit, and he wouldn't even have a career if not for a Chinese immigrant (Bruce Lee). The internet needs a better hero.
I nominate TOSHIRO MIFUNE.
Toshiro Mifune facts (feel free to try to add your own):
1. Mt. Fuji was formed when Toshiro Mifune piled up all the bodies of his enemies.
2. The attacks on Pearl Harbor were not Toshiro Mifune's idea. If they had been, the plans would have only consisted of Toshiro Mifune cutting the tops off the Hawaiian volcanoes.
3. Toshiro Mifune loves corrupt military regimes -- he eats one for breakfast every morning.
4. What you call 'orbit' is actually the force of Toshiro Mifune's charisma drawing objects closer at the same time as he intimidates them away.
5. You do not have a girlfriend, you have a woman Toshiro Mifune hasn't met yet.
6. Jail is where they put criminals to be safe from Toshiro Mifune.
7. All truly evil people in the world have already been cut in half by Toshiro Mifune -- it was just such a clean slice that they haven't noticed yet.
8. Toshiro Mifune does not sleep, he graciously gives the world time to recover.
9. Toshiro Mifune is so fast, people have yet to notice we're not born bald, or Toshiro Mifune's hobby of shaving the scalps of newborn babies.
10. Japan needs no nuclear weapons, Japan has Toshiro Mifune.
11. Horse tranquilizers were actually first made to slow Toshiro Mifune down so Akira Kurosawa could catch him on film.
12. Toshiro Mifune's dojo is in the Bermuda Triangle -- mystery solved.
13. Toshiro Mifune invented sushi after a great white shark tried to attack him.
14. An attack on Toshiro Mifune is considered 'assisted suicide'.
15. Toshiro Mifune needs no blender to prepare his smoothies.
16. If you see a video tape of Toshiro Mifune angry, you will die in seven days (note -- you are safe to watch movies that have Toshiro Mifune, he was only ACTING like he was angry).
17. When things travel fast enough to break the sound barrier, the sonic boom is actually Toshiro Mifune grunting in approval.
18. Japan never had an emperor, that was actually just Toshiro Mifune's personal assistants.
19. Toshiro Mifune has had only one pet his entire life -- perhaps you have heard of it: Godzilla.
20. The power rangers are actually just piloting Toshiro Mifune's childhood toys.
21. Toshiro Mifune will cut you so bad -- your tombstone will split in two after they bury you.
22. Only blood would dare to rain on Toshiro Mifune.
23. All the world's confetti was made when Toshiro Mifune was attacked by a forest.
24. There was no Big Bang, that was when Toshiro Mifune hatched.
25. Contrary to belief, the word 'Justice' came from the name of Toshiro Mifune's sword.
26. Dinosaur meat tasted good to Toshiro Mifune; 'nuff said.
27. All nails come from when Toshiro Mifune takes a piss.
28. Toshiro Mifune makes his tea by first chopping the water from the tea leaves, then boiling the water with an angry stare.
29. Toshiro Mifune's blade can occupy the same quantum space as other matter.
30. There are no real pine trees -- only oak trees that Toshiro Mifune practiced his billion-leaf-cuts technique on.
31. The word 'bullet' is actually the Babylonian word for when Toshiro Mifune pokes you.
32. All heavy metal music is the accumulation of musicians trying to emulate the sound of Toshiro Mifune sharpening his blades with his teeth.
33. Technically, Toshiro Mifune does not cut anything -- reality simply gives way to his sword.
34. There is no Global Warming. It is simply the heat simmering from Toshiro Mifune's rage at your polluting/non-recycling bullshit. Seriously, ride a bike or carpool to work before he kills us all.
35. Taco Bell gets all their shredded fixings from driving animals and produce trucks through Toshiro Mifune's driveway.
36. Stonehenge was formed when a meteorite almost fell on Toshiro Mifune's head.
37. All steel is the product of the world's iron ore being fed to Toshiro Mifune... I'll skip the details.
38. The world's first samurai were actually the sperm of Toshiro Mifune.
39. Lightning is just God's way of warning you where Toshiro Mifune is.
40. Toshiro Mifune has only three settings: drunk, disapprove, dismember.
...there are so much more, but I must risk offending Toshiro Mifune and get back to work.
Also -- Toshiro Mifune is not dead, he is just lying in wait for an opponent who is good enough.
RESPECT!
Context is flocked. QWP
Chuck Norris is so full of crap. All his right-wing bullshit, and he wouldn't even have a career if not for a Chinese immigrant (Bruce Lee). The internet needs a better hero.
I nominate TOSHIRO MIFUNE.
Toshiro Mifune facts (feel free to try to add your own):
1. Mt. Fuji was formed when Toshiro Mifune piled up all the bodies of his enemies.
2. The attacks on Pearl Harbor were not Toshiro Mifune's idea. If they had been, the plans would have only consisted of Toshiro Mifune cutting the tops off the Hawaiian volcanoes.
3. Toshiro Mifune loves corrupt military regimes -- he eats one for breakfast every morning.
4. What you call 'orbit' is actually the force of Toshiro Mifune's charisma drawing objects closer at the same time as he intimidates them away.
5. You do not have a girlfriend, you have a woman Toshiro Mifune hasn't met yet.
6. Jail is where they put criminals to be safe from Toshiro Mifune.
7. All truly evil people in the world have already been cut in half by Toshiro Mifune -- it was just such a clean slice that they haven't noticed yet.
8. Toshiro Mifune does not sleep, he graciously gives the world time to recover.
9. Toshiro Mifune is so fast, people have yet to notice we're not born bald, or Toshiro Mifune's hobby of shaving the scalps of newborn babies.
10. Japan needs no nuclear weapons, Japan has Toshiro Mifune.
11. Horse tranquilizers were actually first made to slow Toshiro Mifune down so Akira Kurosawa could catch him on film.
12. Toshiro Mifune's dojo is in the Bermuda Triangle -- mystery solved.
13. Toshiro Mifune invented sushi after a great white shark tried to attack him.
14. An attack on Toshiro Mifune is considered 'assisted suicide'.
15. Toshiro Mifune needs no blender to prepare his smoothies.
16. If you see a video tape of Toshiro Mifune angry, you will die in seven days (note -- you are safe to watch movies that have Toshiro Mifune, he was only ACTING like he was angry).
17. When things travel fast enough to break the sound barrier, the sonic boom is actually Toshiro Mifune grunting in approval.
18. Japan never had an emperor, that was actually just Toshiro Mifune's personal assistants.
19. Toshiro Mifune has had only one pet his entire life -- perhaps you have heard of it: Godzilla.
20. The power rangers are actually just piloting Toshiro Mifune's childhood toys.
21. Toshiro Mifune will cut you so bad -- your tombstone will split in two after they bury you.
22. Only blood would dare to rain on Toshiro Mifune.
23. All the world's confetti was made when Toshiro Mifune was attacked by a forest.
24. There was no Big Bang, that was when Toshiro Mifune hatched.
25. Contrary to belief, the word 'Justice' came from the name of Toshiro Mifune's sword.
26. Dinosaur meat tasted good to Toshiro Mifune; 'nuff said.
27. All nails come from when Toshiro Mifune takes a piss.
28. Toshiro Mifune makes his tea by first chopping the water from the tea leaves, then boiling the water with an angry stare.
29. Toshiro Mifune's blade can occupy the same quantum space as other matter.
30. There are no real pine trees -- only oak trees that Toshiro Mifune practiced his billion-leaf-cuts technique on.
31. The word 'bullet' is actually the Babylonian word for when Toshiro Mifune pokes you.
32. All heavy metal music is the accumulation of musicians trying to emulate the sound of Toshiro Mifune sharpening his blades with his teeth.
33. Technically, Toshiro Mifune does not cut anything -- reality simply gives way to his sword.
34. There is no Global Warming. It is simply the heat simmering from Toshiro Mifune's rage at your polluting/non-recycling bullshit. Seriously, ride a bike or carpool to work before he kills us all.
35. Taco Bell gets all their shredded fixings from driving animals and produce trucks through Toshiro Mifune's driveway.
36. Stonehenge was formed when a meteorite almost fell on Toshiro Mifune's head.
37. All steel is the product of the world's iron ore being fed to Toshiro Mifune... I'll skip the details.
38. The world's first samurai were actually the sperm of Toshiro Mifune.
39. Lightning is just God's way of warning you where Toshiro Mifune is.
40. Toshiro Mifune has only three settings: drunk, disapprove, dismember.
...there are so much more, but I must risk offending Toshiro Mifune and get back to work.
Also -- Toshiro Mifune is not dead, he is just lying in wait for an opponent who is good enough.
RESPECT!
Context is flocked. QWP