Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
bean_bunny offers the best Food Network idea ever:
You know who's going to be the next Food Network star? Forget those other losers, kids. It's gonna be me.
See, because I'm going to host a show called Let's Make a Peanut Butter Sandwich. It's a show in which I make a peanut butter sandwich. No variations, no jelly, just making a peanut butter sandwich. White bread, peanut butter, you're done. Maybe one episode we'll discuss cutting diagonal versus longways, maybe one episode we'll explore cutting off the crusts, but at the heart of every episode? It's a God damned peanut butter sandwich, bitches.
See, and my show will be a hit, too. What, is that any less logical than Sandra Lee having her own magazine? I'll be so spectacular that I'll be on the other Food Network shows. Such as!
The Next Food Network Star: Everyone's freaking out about what to do for the catering party! During planning, I'll tell my team: "I can make peanut butter sandwiches." The only thing I request for the shopping list is a drum of Jif and some Iron Kids. During judging, Bobby Flay tells me, "I sat next to Giada and Alton, and seriously, between them, they had about eight of your peanut butter sandwiches. What the hell did you do, pay them?"
Throwdown with Bobby Flay: It's Throwdown Peanut Butter Sandwich time! Bobby spends half the episode stomping about the kitchen saying things like "we gotta get this right!", "let's do something totally different!", and "let's give this an Asian flair!" while his soux chefs look disgusted. Bobby shows up to the throw down and makes a peanut butter sandwich with chillies on asiago bread topped with a mango salsa, grilled on a panini grill. I stick with Jif and Iron Kids. Bobby loses. Again.
Iron Chef America: Bitches, it's Battle Peanut Butter! For my five courses, I make five peanut butter sandwiches. I do have the good sense, though, to pair them with something to drink each round: orange juice, water, Hi-C, Juicy Juice, so forth. One course is a whole sandwich preperation, which I cut at the table and serve to everyone all Morimoto style. I win, only because I was battling Bobby Flay.
Ask Food Network: Alton Brown talks for thirty minutes about the history of the peanut, visits a peanut farm, and then I make a peanut butter sandwich.
Paula's Party: I come on as a guest and show everyone how to make a peanut butter sandwich. I do not allow Paula Deen to touch me.
QWP, locked post.
You know who's going to be the next Food Network star? Forget those other losers, kids. It's gonna be me.
See, because I'm going to host a show called Let's Make a Peanut Butter Sandwich. It's a show in which I make a peanut butter sandwich. No variations, no jelly, just making a peanut butter sandwich. White bread, peanut butter, you're done. Maybe one episode we'll discuss cutting diagonal versus longways, maybe one episode we'll explore cutting off the crusts, but at the heart of every episode? It's a God damned peanut butter sandwich, bitches.
See, and my show will be a hit, too. What, is that any less logical than Sandra Lee having her own magazine? I'll be so spectacular that I'll be on the other Food Network shows. Such as!
The Next Food Network Star: Everyone's freaking out about what to do for the catering party! During planning, I'll tell my team: "I can make peanut butter sandwiches." The only thing I request for the shopping list is a drum of Jif and some Iron Kids. During judging, Bobby Flay tells me, "I sat next to Giada and Alton, and seriously, between them, they had about eight of your peanut butter sandwiches. What the hell did you do, pay them?"
Throwdown with Bobby Flay: It's Throwdown Peanut Butter Sandwich time! Bobby spends half the episode stomping about the kitchen saying things like "we gotta get this right!", "let's do something totally different!", and "let's give this an Asian flair!" while his soux chefs look disgusted. Bobby shows up to the throw down and makes a peanut butter sandwich with chillies on asiago bread topped with a mango salsa, grilled on a panini grill. I stick with Jif and Iron Kids. Bobby loses. Again.
Iron Chef America: Bitches, it's Battle Peanut Butter! For my five courses, I make five peanut butter sandwiches. I do have the good sense, though, to pair them with something to drink each round: orange juice, water, Hi-C, Juicy Juice, so forth. One course is a whole sandwich preperation, which I cut at the table and serve to everyone all Morimoto style. I win, only because I was battling Bobby Flay.
Ask Food Network: Alton Brown talks for thirty minutes about the history of the peanut, visits a peanut farm, and then I make a peanut butter sandwich.
Paula's Party: I come on as a guest and show everyone how to make a peanut butter sandwich. I do not allow Paula Deen to touch me.
QWP, locked post.