"how do they all know the 1,2,3 fingers routine?"
A Fandom!Secret asking for more frotting in fanfic birthed these shining gems:
"There's a top and there's a bottom and the fingering has to be progressive: starting with one finger, ending with three. Then real gay sex can commence." - (Anonymous)
"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Buttplug, then shalt thou finger to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt finger, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not finger, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third finger, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Cock of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall be fucked." - lb_lee
"One bottom and one top there be,
Then come the fingers, one-two-three
With choice of lube left up to thee,
Commences the gay fuckery." - fishnships
"it's also kind of strange in the case of fantasy fandoms or places where the average two men wouldn't really have knowledge of the right "steps" to gay sex. how do they all know the 1,2,3 fingers routine?" - (Anonymous)
"For me, anal's gotten stale"- (Anonymous)
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Well. Here I am, deliberately breaking the rules by posting quotes from fandomsecrets, currently residing on DW (mirrored to LJ). Mods, hear my case: 1.) F!S itself did originate on LJ. 2.) This community needs the life it can get. 3.) You want these quotes. You do. So, do your thing, oh Mods of Greatness, but I have at least tried.
"There's a top and there's a bottom and the fingering has to be progressive: starting with one finger, ending with three. Then real gay sex can commence." - (Anonymous)
"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Buttplug, then shalt thou finger to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt finger, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not finger, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third finger, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Cock of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall be fucked." - lb_lee
"One bottom and one top there be,
Then come the fingers, one-two-three
With choice of lube left up to thee,
Commences the gay fuckery." - fishnships
"it's also kind of strange in the case of fantasy fandoms or places where the average two men wouldn't really have knowledge of the right "steps" to gay sex. how do they all know the 1,2,3 fingers routine?" - (Anonymous)
"For me, anal's gotten stale"- (Anonymous)
---
Well. Here I am, deliberately breaking the rules by posting quotes from fandomsecrets, currently residing on DW (mirrored to LJ). Mods, hear my case: 1.) F!S itself did originate on LJ. 2.) This community needs the life it can get. 3.) You want these quotes. You do. So, do your thing, oh Mods of Greatness, but I have at least tried.