(no subject)
Personal rants under the cut. Blah.
Warnings: run-on sentences, overuse of commas and the word "like", oh god so much angst.
Basically my parents have been divorced for almost three years. Idk you'd think that I'd be willing to let my dad back into my life by now but I'm really not. I don't see why I should.
The other day he called and I (unfortunately) was the one that answered. He roped me into small talk and then asked me how excited I am to be a senior next year...
I'm going to be a junior next year.
He didn't even know what freaking grade I'm going into.
I don't know because like part of me really really really wants a relationship with him because he's, you know, my dad and all, but he's done like absolutely nothing to redeem himself, he refuses to take ownership of his actions, he doesn't believe he's the one that caused the divorce (when he is) and he's basically a really big jerk to everyone in my family (especially my mom, who's the strongest bravest most wonderful woman ever and oh my goodness I love her so you know, no). But like, I can see how not having him in my life is affecting me because like BOYS YOU GUYS but then I don't know if that's just me as a girl but I think it's both because boys.
And like honestly, barring any type of divine intervention, I don't think I'll ever really get over what he did to my family because like seriously all the pain and crap he put me through? I just don't get over that kinda stuff easily. Basically depression and trich (which I'm still battling with I don't even know) and EDs and like crying all night and just no I don't think I'm going to be seeing him any time soon.
OH AND THERE'S MORE
HE'S SHUTTING DOWN HIS COMPANY
Like it's not enough that he's consistently late on child-support payments and stuff (which wouldn't be that big of a deal except for my mom is supporting 5 kids, not like 1 or something) but now he's not going to be making income and I'm just like really scared you guys.
I don't even know.
Just...I'm going to go drown my sorrows in my little brother's leftover birthday cake and cry because Harry Styles is perfect and I'm 89% sure that he and Louis are getting a starter home (a starter home I'm squealing) and just like feelings.
Warnings: run-on sentences, overuse of commas and the word "like", oh god so much angst.
Basically my parents have been divorced for almost three years. Idk you'd think that I'd be willing to let my dad back into my life by now but I'm really not. I don't see why I should.
The other day he called and I (unfortunately) was the one that answered. He roped me into small talk and then asked me how excited I am to be a senior next year...
I'm going to be a junior next year.
He didn't even know what freaking grade I'm going into.
I don't know because like part of me really really really wants a relationship with him because he's, you know, my dad and all, but he's done like absolutely nothing to redeem himself, he refuses to take ownership of his actions, he doesn't believe he's the one that caused the divorce (when he is) and he's basically a really big jerk to everyone in my family (especially my mom, who's the strongest bravest most wonderful woman ever and oh my goodness I love her so you know, no). But like, I can see how not having him in my life is affecting me because like BOYS YOU GUYS but then I don't know if that's just me as a girl but I think it's both because boys.
And like honestly, barring any type of divine intervention, I don't think I'll ever really get over what he did to my family because like seriously all the pain and crap he put me through? I just don't get over that kinda stuff easily. Basically depression and trich (which I'm still battling with I don't even know) and EDs and like crying all night and just no I don't think I'm going to be seeing him any time soon.
OH AND THERE'S MORE
HE'S SHUTTING DOWN HIS COMPANY
Like it's not enough that he's consistently late on child-support payments and stuff (which wouldn't be that big of a deal except for my mom is supporting 5 kids, not like 1 or something) but now he's not going to be making income and I'm just like really scared you guys.
I don't even know.
Just...I'm going to go drown my sorrows in my little brother's leftover birthday cake and cry because Harry Styles is perfect and I'm 89% sure that he and Louis are getting a starter home (a starter home I'm squealing) and just like feelings.