it's gonna hit you when the light goes out
the one where zayn has ADHD i don't know. no pairing, just a drabble. the title and cuttext are from Kill the Light by Kitten, A+ song 10/10 would recommend.
the thing is, zayn’s not always been this quiet, this “mysterious“. before he met the boys, zayn was insane. he could never stop moving, stop touching things, stop talking, start focusing. it got him into a lot of trouble, too. he got detention a lot because he could never keep his mouth shut, always talking over the teachers, being the obnoxious kid with ADHD. when he got suspended for the second time, his parents finally decided to stop hoping he’d grow out of it, that it was just a phase, and got him medication.
he hated it. because as much as he hated the feeling of always needing to move, the feeling that he was going to jump out of his skin, he hated this feeling more. a couple minutes after he’d swallow the little blue oblong pill, his head would get fuzzy, heavy, his brain running at a much slower rate. he felt like he couldn’t do anything. he felt like he was moving underwater, reactions sluggish and delayed.
he hated it.
when he meets the boys for the first time, he’s amazed (envious) by their energy, determination, and how they can control it. as they laugh and talk and bond, he sits in a chair in the corner of the room, staring dully ahead of him. he can’t decide how he feels.
liam sees the boy (zayn?) sitting in the corner, turns to the other boys. “so what’s up with him? what’s his story?” louis laughs “i dunno, mate. for someone who just got a second chance at x factor, you’d think he’d be a bit happier”
zayn feels his hands start to shake. his foot starts tapping. his brain speeds up, switching from topic to topic: he got through the x factor isn’t that great his parents will be so proud won’t they what about school doesn't matter he’s still suspended anyway look at those two that guy matt must be twice his age tone down the flirting mysterious kid i wonder where we’re going to bunk what about judges houses will simon like us then time for your next dose zayn
his stands up abruptly, shifting from foot to foot, before striding to his room. liam tags after him, calling his name, but is met with distracted silence. zayn can’t seem to walk fast enough, fingers trailing the walls and then drumming on his legs, fixing his hair tugging at his shirt adjusting his belt. liam follows him into his room, watches as zayn rummages through bag, finally produces a small orange bottle. zayn turns to liam, surprised to see him there. “alright?” liam asks. zayn nods, still shifting and fidgeting and glancing everywhere. he shakes out two pills and swallows them dry, says “yeah, thanks”. liam watches as zayn slowly stops fidgeting, as his eyes cloud over and the bright intensity that had been there moments before fades. zayn slumps onto his bed and murmurs “‘m tired, gonna go to bed now. i’ll talk to you later, liam”
the thing is, zayn’s not always been this quiet, this “mysterious“. before he met the boys, zayn was insane. he could never stop moving, stop touching things, stop talking, start focusing. it got him into a lot of trouble, too. he got detention a lot because he could never keep his mouth shut, always talking over the teachers, being the obnoxious kid with ADHD. when he got suspended for the second time, his parents finally decided to stop hoping he’d grow out of it, that it was just a phase, and got him medication.
he hated it. because as much as he hated the feeling of always needing to move, the feeling that he was going to jump out of his skin, he hated this feeling more. a couple minutes after he’d swallow the little blue oblong pill, his head would get fuzzy, heavy, his brain running at a much slower rate. he felt like he couldn’t do anything. he felt like he was moving underwater, reactions sluggish and delayed.
he hated it.
when he meets the boys for the first time, he’s amazed (envious) by their energy, determination, and how they can control it. as they laugh and talk and bond, he sits in a chair in the corner of the room, staring dully ahead of him. he can’t decide how he feels.
liam sees the boy (zayn?) sitting in the corner, turns to the other boys. “so what’s up with him? what’s his story?” louis laughs “i dunno, mate. for someone who just got a second chance at x factor, you’d think he’d be a bit happier”
zayn feels his hands start to shake. his foot starts tapping. his brain speeds up, switching from topic to topic: he got through the x factor isn’t that great his parents will be so proud won’t they what about school doesn't matter he’s still suspended anyway look at those two that guy matt must be twice his age tone down the flirting mysterious kid i wonder where we’re going to bunk what about judges houses will simon like us then time for your next dose zayn
his stands up abruptly, shifting from foot to foot, before striding to his room. liam tags after him, calling his name, but is met with distracted silence. zayn can’t seem to walk fast enough, fingers trailing the walls and then drumming on his legs, fixing his hair tugging at his shirt adjusting his belt. liam follows him into his room, watches as zayn rummages through bag, finally produces a small orange bottle. zayn turns to liam, surprised to see him there. “alright?” liam asks. zayn nods, still shifting and fidgeting and glancing everywhere. he shakes out two pills and swallows them dry, says “yeah, thanks”. liam watches as zayn slowly stops fidgeting, as his eyes cloud over and the bright intensity that had been there moments before fades. zayn slumps onto his bed and murmurs “‘m tired, gonna go to bed now. i’ll talk to you later, liam”