FMA BBC: Estvarya, Chapter 4

Apr 24, 2011 20:42

Title: Estvarya
Author: mfelizandyGenre: Drama ( Read more... )

ishbal, fma, big bang challenge, scar, roy mustang, fullmetal alchemist

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Comments 11

fractured_chaos April 25 2011, 23:57:05 UTC
Ahhh. What is it about the sunrise over Xerxes that inspires such beautiful and spiritual prose? :D

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Ghosts walk in the ruins... mfelizandy April 27 2011, 01:23:28 UTC
A place that old, in ruins that long, is going to have a lot of ghostly poetry in the air. It's highly contagious, but fortunately it's mostly harmless.

The Ishvarun also have a long history of mysticism, metaphor, and poetry. Scar-luv is showing some signs of that upbringing, as well as some softer bits of his soul.

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liviface April 26 2011, 22:26:19 UTC
This chapter was great! There's so much going on. I love how you intersperse the serious moments with the more lighthearted ones, particularly the banter between Roy and Scar. It's great to see their somewhat unconventional friendship growing. Another thing you do really well is write from Roy's POV. It must be really hard to write from the perspective of someone who's blind, but you really
make it convincing and still manage to include beautiful description. And the level of detail you've included in your take on the Ishvalan culture and language is amazing. I looked up the word 'estvarya' in your glossary- When you know the meaning, the fic title becomes so cool! I'm guessing it was intended to mean what you'd naturally assume reading this story? :D

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fractured_chaos April 27 2011, 00:35:00 UTC
Some credit for the the technical details of blindness comes from my dear friend, Sgt. Jody Sunday (ret), who is a combat veteran from Desert Storm. She's been a wonderful font of information (and it's impossible to sit on a pity pot around her... trust me!) XD

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No pity required mfelizandy April 27 2011, 01:16:48 UTC
From what I've observed of real people with real disabilities, pity usually isn't what they want. Between the information picked up from the sergeant mentioned above (in collaborating on Arcanum) and what the Net provides ("true, false, opinion, wild-eyed fantasy, it's all here and unmarked!"), on top of Roy's general character (this is the guy who barbecued a homunculus AFTER searing his own gut-level injury shut AND seeing his subordinate and friend get literally stabbed through the spine), it seems that Roy-luv would adapt and plow right on with his mission(s) in life...and insist that his people do the same. In that sense he's a lot like the Black Knight. "Only a flesh wound!"

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Re: No pity required whips_n_dozers April 29 2011, 01:24:55 UTC
I'ma tellin' ya! Jody and Roy would get along famously. Although she might throw him for a loop about once a day with her nuttiness.

In case I didn't tell you, her vision is going (rapidly) due to retinitus pigmentosa glaucoma. There is no cure or treatment and it takes about 10 years... and she's getting near that mark.

But she's awesome. She's not meekly accepting her fate, she's going into the darkness kicking and screaming the whole way... but she's able to walk around her neighborhood in the dark now, and not get lost, and she comes to visit all the time, and takes different routes, so that she won't ever get lost (and it's no short hop/skip/jump to our place). She's also part of group therapy at the VA... not as a client, as support ( ... )

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floranna April 29 2011, 19:48:29 UTC
Ahh. This chapter has been re-read several times but only now I have time to comment ( ... )

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Chapter 5's up! mfelizandy May 2 2011, 01:53:24 UTC
I'm so flattered you read this more than once! That gives me all the more reason to keep rereading and tweaking before I post ( ... )

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bay115 May 10 2011, 19:22:32 UTC
Okay, read the first four chapters and will read the fifth chapter later tonight, but I want to write out my thoughts real quick over this story before I have to leave to work ( ... )

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I'm flattered! mfelizandy May 11 2011, 03:11:07 UTC
What a substantive and flattering comment, thank you! I just posted Chapter 6, in which Roy gets accused of some things he did do and a few he didn't.

Writing Roy blind--a lot of people have commented on that. It is a challenge to write from a blind POV and still come up with a good variety of cues and expository descriptions to set the scene for the reader. I'm enjoying it. Keeping Roy in character...well, all I can say to that is that Arakawa created an exceptionally rounded and real character, so I feel like I know enough of the structure of his psyche and his soul to estimate what he'd do in almost any given situation. Roy is Roy at his core, whether he can see or not.

Roy and Scar are decidedly strange bedfellows, but they're getting along pretty well anyway. Given a little time for the mandatory alpha-wolf circling and snarling, they settle down into conversations almost as free and pleasurable to write as Roy and Maes teasing each other. I was almost as surprised as Roy to discover that Scar really does have a sense ( ... )

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