McKaLoy's Fortnight
Disclaimer: The PPC was created by Jay and Acacia, the original assassins. We just have permission to contribute.
This was co-written by Caddy-shack ( More stuff by Caddy-shack ) and me.
Betas: GuvnorofSpace, Datajunkie, Mike, VM, MisterShoebox
Previous appearance: Mission 13: Sateda, part 2
McKaLoy’s Fortnight
Miah did a terrible impression of a waltz as she made her way through the halls of HQ. McKaLoy was riding on her shoulder, complaining--loudly--that she was going to make him fall if she didn’t stop. He finally resorted to sticking his feeding hand to her neck and applying suction.
“Ye-OW! What are you doing!” Miah screeched.
“Well, I had to get your attention somehow! Where are we going in this dreadful, dull place? Hmm?”
“This ‘dreadful, dull place’ is where I live and work, McKaLoy. We’re heading home to check on my partner. And I have someone for you to meet. I think the two of you will get along wonderfully.” Miah smirked evilly as she rubbed the hickey the mini had left on her neck.
McKaLoy was just working himself up to a nervous tirade over that smirk, when his ride, aka, Miah, walked into a door. He looked at the neat and official looking, RC 4096, then raised an eyebrow over the paper taped crookedly to the door that proclaimed in sloppy crayon scrawl that this was The Lair. He was just opening his mouth to comment, when the door opened and his ride was tackled into the far wall by a teenage boy with blue hair that made Sheppard’s look tame.
“Miah! What happened? Where have you been? I thought you were lost forever in that fic! Ronan is pining. And-and-the mini-Unas have had triplets! Did you even know that mini-Unas could do that?” He hadn’t stopped squeezing the air out of Miah long enough for her to interrupt him yet. “I was so worried! And Maria! Is Cadmar okay? Where is she? Oh my gosh, does--”
“Stop! Stop, stop, stop talking! And get off of her, so she can get off of me!” McKaLoy said from his position squished behind Miah.
Cali blushed and helped Miah up. Then he let McKaLoy scramble up to his shoulder, “I’m sorry. You’ve been gone for two weeks. I thought you were dead.”
“Two weeks! What happened to the portal bringing us back when it should have?” Miah shouted
“I, uh, I might have had something to do with that, actually,” McKaLoy said.
“You? How did you have anything to do with it?” Cali asked, actually taking a good look at the mini for the first time. “Are you a McKay mini-Wraith?”
“My name is McKaLoy, and I happen to be a genius, thank you very much. I put the Remote Activator back together-mostly. I had to do something to keep my mind occupied.”
“Oh wow, is it ever a bad idea for you to meet Castor and company,” Cali groaned as the door closed behind them.
***
Cadmar was walking awkwardly through the halls, attempting to get used to using a crutch. “My leg isn’t that bad, I could have just hobbled back to the RC,” she grumbled to herself.
A rumble from her stomach made her falter a bit. “Hungry, hobbling through the corridors... at least my leg isn’t actually broken...” The Ironic Overpower decided to throw something fun Cadmar’s way. Something that gasped loudly when she saw Cadmar turn a corner, and flung herself at the unsuspecting girl.
“Cadmar! You’re alive!” Maria cried in joy as she slammed into Cadmar, knocking her to the ground. Unfortunately for Cadmar, it was on her bad leg, which did not like the treatment it was getting at all, and decided it needed a break.
“ARGH! Owowow!” Cadmar flailed a bit from the sudden shooting pain in her leg.
“I can’t believe you’re actually alive! You’ve been gone forever!” Maria shouted at Cadmar, wrapping her arms tightly around Cadmar’s torso and burying her head in the other girl's neck. “We’ve all been worried sick and messed up, you jerk!”
“Ow, gah.. Maria...!” Cadmar tapped Maria on the arm repeatedly, hoping to dislodge her before she cracked a rib.
“Two weeks! Where were you?! I CRIED, dammit!” Maria’s voice broke slightly at the end.
Cadmar knocked against Maria’s head as lightly as she could. “Can’t... breathe...” she choked out.
Maria looked up, tears in her eyes, glaring. She sniffed slightly, loosening her grip. “I thought you had died, where I couldn’t even... save you or anything...”
Cadmar hissed in pain as her leg was moved slightly. “Damn, I think it’s really broken now...” She sucked in a breath and looked at Maria. “Listen I... have no idea what the heck you’re talking about, but please don’t cry.”
Maria leaned back, and wiped her eyes. “You have been gone two whole weeks,” she said with a small sniffle. “The Flowers couldn’t say where you were, only that you weren’t in the fic anymore, you and Miah just vanished... Wait, is she okay? Why were you using a crutch in the first place!?” Maria started to get wound up again.
“Wow, wow! Calm down!” Cadmar put her hands on Maria’s shoulders, grimacing and fighting back tears as her leg was jostled from the movement. “Argh, I think I really need Medical now...”
Maria got up and gingerly picked Cadmar up, causing the injured girl to hiss and clench her fists tightly. “OW!”
“Sorry,” Maria said lowly, shifting Cadmar as slightly as possible. “Here, let’s get you to Medical, then you can explain what happened.”
“Okay...” Cadmar tried not to move as Maria began walking, slowly. “Eep!” Cadmar squeaked as Maria clutched her tighter.
“Sorry, I’m just glad you're alive,” Maria said with a sigh.
“I am too, but un... could you maybe not hold me like a baby?” Cadmar asked, looking embarrassed.
“I think you deserve this for making me cry.” Maria flashed a smile. “Besides, I’m sure we won’t run into anyone we know or who has cameras!” she said in a faux assured voice. Cadmar gaped at her in horror.
***
Cali adjusted his grip on the leg of the console. “So at no time did you think, ‘Hey. Bringing this particular mini home would, I don’t know, BE A BAD IDEA?’”
Miah glanced at the floor, currently three feet below her, and then stared resolutely at Cali. “Um, yeah, the thought might have crossed my mind once or twice.”
Cali felt his grip loosen a bit and he slid an ominous inch. “How are they not being affected by this Swirling Plot Hole of Doom?”
Miah eyed the minis, who were all calmly walking around. Well, some of them were calm. “I don’t know. You hear me down there? We can’t hold on much longer!”
“I’m trying! Do you have any idea how complicated this thing is? No! Of course you don’t. You just push the buttons--”
“Seriously, McKaLoy? Shut it down, NOW!” Miah shouted.
“I can't help but thinking we're reaching the point at which I completely snap!”
“Hey! You don’t get to steal canon lines!” Cali said, trying to pull himself tighter against the console, but instead slipping another inch. The muscles in his shoulders were screaming in protest.
The mini looked crestfallen, a particularly odd expression for a mini-Wraith. “Oh, he already said that one, huh?”
“What if I shoot it?” Miah said trying to work out how to reach for her zat without letting go of the console.
“That would be a very bad idea, Agent Arthur,” someone said from the doorway.
Miah craned her neck around and identified the speaker as Dann. “We are in so much trouble,” she said to Cali.
“Hmm,” Dann said fiddling with something that Miah had no hope of IDing.
Suddenly the force pulling the two of them toward the hole released them, and they clunked to the floor.
Cali groaned. Miah hurredly scrambled off him. “Are you okay?” she asked grabbing his hand to pull him up.
He yelped--in a totally manly fashion. “My shoulder hurts,” he said, trying to be stoic.
Miah released Cali’s hand. “I’ll be right back.” She stood and walked over to where Dann was examining the force field around the plot hole. It swirled harder when she approached. “You saved us,” Miah said. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, who is responsible for this?”
Miah looked around until she spotted Ronan refusing to let McKaLoy into his house under the hammock. She walked over and grabbed the reluctant mini. The swirling decreased as she walked away and increased as she brought him back. “This is McKaLoy.”
The agent and the mini shared a Look. Based on the Look, Miah was almost wishing she hadn’t ratted the mini out. Then McKaLoy said, “Did you see its reaction to her?”
Dann’s look of righteous anger at the mess and damage to the console was cracking around the edges. “How did you manage to attune it to only these agents?”
McKaLoy squirmed free of Miah’s grip and dragged over a schematic he had drawn based on his experiments with the RA. “I think the problem might be in this circuit.”
Miah looked at Cali who was still sitting with his arm clutched to his chest. “Medical?”
He nodded. “I wanted to go see Cadmar, though.”
“We’ll get you fixed up, and then you can go see her,” Miah said.
“You two are still here? Quit dragging out the scene, you’re making the plot hole angry!” McKaLoy scolded.
Dann looked up as if he had almost forgotten they were still there. “This damage is going into your file, agents,” he said severely, although the effect was lessened somewhat by his immediately ignoring them again in favor of the specs McKaLoy was pointing out.
Miah and Cali made their escape.
***
Cadmar was sitting on the edge on one of the beds in Medical, giving Maria a deadpan look. “Seriously?”
Maria grinned. “Yep.”
“Wasn’t the humiliation on the way here enough? The millions of pictures? The carrying me?”
Maria’s grin widened. “Nooooope.” This time she popped the p, making Cadmar lose her deadpan look, twitching.
“Maria, why the Hell do I have to use a cast instead of some magical bone fixer.” Cadmar intoned darkly, glaring for effect.
Maria waved away Cadmar’s complaints and flicked the irate agent in the nose with her tail. “Because you can’t be on active duty if unable to walk well.” At Cadmar’s confused look, she continued, “Well, that and I need to make sure you actually stick around. Can’t have you running off and disappearing again, can I?”
Cadmar blinked. “... Really? THAT’S why I am stuck with a cast!?”
“Mm-Hmm. Well that or I break both your legs so you can’t run off. Either is fine with me. Oh, stop looking nervous. I’d give you morphine first.” Maria scoffed. “I just don’t want to have you get hurt all alone...”
“... Have you been reading on how to be a yandere or something?”
“Don’t act like you’re scared. I saw your browser history on the laptop!” Maria stuck her tongue out. Cadmar’s eyes widened. “Besides, I’m really glad you’re back, it's been way too boring in the RC, and really hard trying to get a decent meal.”
Just as Cadmar looked ready to reply, the doors opened, and Cali and Miah walked in. he two agents seemed to be in the middle of a conversation.
“Miah! Really. I want to visit Cadmar first! I’ll be fi--YEOWW! W-what was that--” Cali stopped in mid-whine as he saw Cadmar and Maria. “Cadmar! What happened? Miah told me you weren’t hurt that bad.” He shrugged Miah off and rushed over.
“Hi Cali!” Cadmar greeted, smiling. “Well, I was fine, until someone decided to linebacker tackle me and break my leg... Maria!”
“You can be disgustingly sappy with your girlfriend after the doc checks you out,” Miah said pushing Cali toward a Nurse. “Hey, I heard something about websites and feedings.”
Cadmar blushed and started, while Maria coughed violently. “Nothing!” both said vehemently at the same time.
Maria laughed nervously, before quickly changing her mood. “Oh, you’d be surprised what I find floating around in Cadmar’s browsing history,” she said, grinning at Miah. She gave Cadmar a sideways look. “And it would be such a shame if Luxury were to find it, although I’m sure that would only happen if Cadmar were to try to leave again until her leg is healed.”
Cadmar laughed nervously. “Which I would never, ever, ever, do...”
Maria smirked in victory, and walked over to Miah. “I’m glad you’re okay, Cadmar won’t tell me what happened....”
“Maybe if you stopped impeding the nurses from healing my leg!” Cadmar butted in.
Maria visibly twitched. “Miah, did you know Cadmar likes yanderes?”
“Really?” Miah peered around Maria at Cadmar. “You know that never came up in our little chats.” Miah quit giving Cadmar the Look, and continued directly to Maria. “As for what took so long in the mission? Same thing that happened to Cali in our RC. McKaLoy.”
Maria gave Cadmar a Dangerous Look. “Who?” she asked sweetly.
Cadmar was slowly backing away from the two girls, her movement was impeded by the cast on her leg, and the bed that was only so big. “A mini we picked up... wait, what did he do?”
“What did Cali call that thing McKaLoy made in the RC?” Miah asked herself.
“A Swirling Plot Hole of Doom. You know I’m only like two beds away and I can hear everything you’re saying, right?” Cali called from behind a curtain. The others heard the quiet, indistinct voice of a Nurse. Then Cali. “What? No! I am being still!”
“The only still in him is his last name,” Miah muttered to Maria.
Cadmar looked in Cali’s direction dismayed. “Thank you for telling everyone that, Maria,” she grumbled.
Maria patted Cadmar’s cast. “Co-operation with me isn’t mandatory, only heavily suggested.”
“It fits. It fits, already,” Cali said making his escape from the Nurse. “Cadmar! Are you okay?”
Miah sighed. “Young love. I doubt he listened to anything you just said to him. What are the care and feeding instructions?” she asked, following the Nurse away from the main conversation.
“Yeah, I’m fine Cali,” Cadmar assured Cali, “Maria got a little excited when she saw m-mrrph!” Cali had managed to get around the awkwardness of the sling and interrupted Cadmar with a kiss.
Maria smiled and walked off to go steal some morphine. Just in case. Oh, and maybe some of those shiny things on the trays...
Cali broke off the kiss and grimaced at moving his shoulder. “I thought you were gone.”
Cadmar blinked and stuttered, “Y-yeah? Um...” She blushed and fiddled with the sheets of the bed a bit. “A little more forward than on our date...” she said nervously.
Cali blushed and pulled back. “S-sorry. You’ve been gone, and I thought...” He sat down in the chair beside the bed.
“Right... I’m not sure WHY we were gone so long, but I’m sorry I made you worry.” She smiled a bit. “Want to be the first to sign my cast?”
Cali brightened and produced a marker from a pocket. “The portal-wrecking menace that we left in our RC with Dann, might explain why you were gone for so long.” He signed his name with a flourish. “So how come you got a cast instead of some kind of magic bone fixey thing?”
Cadmar inspected Cali’s writing. “Wow, you write pretty... and is that a heart for the I?” she asked with a grin.
“What? It makes it pretty!”
Cadmar smiled a bit bigger, and then looked unsure. “So... I’m not too good with relationships and stuff, but...” She reached out and tentatively grasped Cali’s hand, looking at him, unsure.
Miah made it back just in time to see Cali beaming over Cadmar taking his hand. She heard something clatter to the floor behind her and saw Maria picking some medication up off the floor. She had a look on her face that Miah wasn’t sure how to interpret. Interesting.
“Hmm, I guess this is enough for a few weeks,” Maria muttered to herself, before carefully inserting the bags of morphine into the pockets of her suit. Something flashed in the light, catching her eye, as well as making her jump, dropping a bag. “Ooh, shiny,” she commented as she picked up the scalpel.
“So Maria, what’s with the sharp pointies and making Cadmar wear a cast?” Miah asked quietly.
Maria put the scalpal back. “Er, nothing! It just caught my eye, s’all.” She picked up the last bag and quickly stuffed it in the pocket, before zipping it up.
“Hmm. Interesting. But what about the cast?”
Maria smiled. Miah noticed that the smile was a lot more creepy then usual. “Well, I just don’t want to chance losing her again. Having a partner leave sucks, but having one die... Well, I’d rather her be off-duty for a while.”
Maria’s statement set off a suspicious train of thought for Miah. One that tied together many small clues about Maria. Maria touched her on the shoulder, looking nervous and anxious for some reason, and Miah felt her suspicion leave. She shook her head, and said, “Hey Cali. We left a top guy from DoSAT and a Swirling Plot Hole of Doom alone in our RC. We should go check on things.”
“Er, actually, you guys can just come over!” Maria almost shouted. She laughed a bit nervously. “I mean, we haven’t seen you for a while, we should hang out and stuff. She glanced over to Cali and Cadmar. “Plus, I don’t think Cali wants to let go of Cadmar.”
“He’s going to fall asleep as soon as he takes his pills for that sprained shoulder,” Miah said rattling a bottle of pain pills. “But,” she looked at Cali and Cadmar. “Yeah, we’ll come over.”
The healthy partners got their respective charges separated and on their feet. As they were walking out the door, Cali said, “What’s a yandere, Cadmar?”
Cadmar froze, wide eyed. “Umm....”
This caused Maria to burst out laughing. “Yes Cadmar, tell your boyfriend what a yandere is!”
Miah was so busy staring at Cali and Cadmar that she walked into Maria. “Well, this should be interesting,” she said quietly.
Next appearance: Mission 14: (blank link)