Nothing To Say...
Everything sucks now. To much time to think. With all this time, I've come to the following conclusions.
> I am very emo.
> I am sadistic.
> I rarely give a fuck.
> Life is not meant to be cheerful.
> I hate almost everyone.
> I hate my life.
> I am constantly depressed.
> And a shit load more.
Christmas came and left as if it was a normal day. Worked like ten fucking hours Christmas Eve. Opened my two pressents and got nothing of what I asked for. My mother fried my fucking computer. And I could bitch for ages. But the holiday was shit. As it always is. I mean, I appreciate what I got and the thought my family gave me, but I dunno. I sit here to this day, and remember all the good times I had in the past. Last Christmas was perfect. Not because I got something I really wanted, but I spent time with loved ones. My best friends, my family, and the first girl I ever truly loved. It was like a two week long Christmas. I look at me now, I'm secluded...I havn't hung out with Isaiah since one of my best friends comitted suicide, I am alone... All alone. I would give anything to feel like I did a year ago; to spend time with true friends and hold a loved one in my arms. To be able to kiss that person on the lips and look into their eyes and see them sparkle with happiness. I was relying on drugs to keep me happy, but I need to start saving my money for a notebook. I would kill for another Vicodin or Xany. Or even Adderol. So many things run through my mind...many that people would frown upon. But why should I care? Everyone always fucks me over. Hell, it's the only way I can get fucked now.