(no subject)
what is stevie wonder's favorite colour?
corduroy
a drunk goes to the doctor one day complaining of tiredness and severe headaches. "i feel tired all the time" he says, "my head hurts and i'm not sleeping".
the doctor examines him head to toe before admitting: "i can't find anything wrong. it must be the drinking".
"fair enough" says the bum, "i'll come back when you're sober"
how do you really scare a man?
run up behind him and start throwing confetti.
a passenger in a taxileaned over and tapped the driver on the shoulder. the driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped inches from a large window. for a few moments everything was silent, hen the driver said "i'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me".
the passenger apologised and said he didn't realise a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. the driver replied "don't worry, it's my fault. this is my first day in a cab, i've been driving a hearse for 25 years".
whats yellow and orange and looks good on hippies?
fire
a father comes home and announces to the family that this year they will all be taking a trip to vietnam for their christmas holiday. the kids are all excited, untill the youngest suddenlt stops and says "hang on, they don't celebrate christmas in vietnam do they?"
"no" he replies, but they are hanging glitter this year"
corduroy
a drunk goes to the doctor one day complaining of tiredness and severe headaches. "i feel tired all the time" he says, "my head hurts and i'm not sleeping".
the doctor examines him head to toe before admitting: "i can't find anything wrong. it must be the drinking".
"fair enough" says the bum, "i'll come back when you're sober"
how do you really scare a man?
run up behind him and start throwing confetti.
a passenger in a taxileaned over and tapped the driver on the shoulder. the driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped inches from a large window. for a few moments everything was silent, hen the driver said "i'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me".
the passenger apologised and said he didn't realise a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. the driver replied "don't worry, it's my fault. this is my first day in a cab, i've been driving a hearse for 25 years".
whats yellow and orange and looks good on hippies?
fire
a father comes home and announces to the family that this year they will all be taking a trip to vietnam for their christmas holiday. the kids are all excited, untill the youngest suddenlt stops and says "hang on, they don't celebrate christmas in vietnam do they?"
"no" he replies, but they are hanging glitter this year"